He has now left me and we have committed zina
I am extremely ashamed of even being here and asking for guidance. Recently the person I was with for a very long time has now left me. I have never been with anyone before him, and was pure, so was he. We have always had the intention that one day we will marry and make the relationship halal as soon as possible. We have one day committed zina and it carried on for a while. I have always felt bad about it and as days went on it kept eating me inside. We have decided to stop one day and another reason was because I never wanted to become pregnant and commit another sin by having an abortion, as we were in no condition to get married right now.
We were still in a relationship but without any sexual intercourse. However, it was repeated again one day. I don't know why it happened but i kept thinking we will get married one day and I love him. Which was obviously very wrong. We did use to argue quite a bit. Sometimes we would get over it quick and other times it would go on for a long time. I cannot stand lies, and i have always been truthful with him. When he started telling me little lies and i kept finding out, it would make me so mad and i started losing trust. But I know he would have never cheated on me, it was petty little lies that got to me and made me into such a paranoid person.
I have been so horrible and hurtful to him at times. There was a few occasions where I hurt him so bad that he started to slowly stop loving me and losing trust. Not any occasions where I was emotionally cheating or anything got to do with the opposite sex because I would never do that to him. Recently he was so hurt because once we was arguing and a member of his family picked up the phone and I said I was his girl. I obviously did it out of so much anger and I regretted it straight away and was hoping they wouldn't say anything to him. The member of his family didn't question him so he wasn't really aware of what happened. I told him what I did on the day, but kind of brushed it off as I thought since they never asked him who it was I wont make a big deal. But I obviously knew I wouldn't have ever done that again. Anyway he confronted me about it recently and I told him the truth. He came out that day full of anger and started calling me really hurtful names. He went so mad and I have never seen him act this way. Members of his family had to chase after him as they were scared of what he was going to do. And that was very disgraceful that they had to come and see me and meet me like that. They were very nice to me which I am till today so grateful for. He started to tell them everything I have done to him and everyone came to an agreement that we leave each other and move on.
I obviously agreed to it. After I came home i just broke down so badly and never thought my relationship was going to end up this way. I went back to apologise to him and ask for forgiveness, because I knew how hurt he was. I cried so much to him but still he said that he cannot ever be with me as he is afraid to be with me. I told him I would change, and I would never do what I done to him ever again. But he made it very clear to me that it was over and I should move on. It hurts so much, because I really wanted him to be my first and last. Especially because we committed zina and I wanted to make it right. I am so scared of trying to move forward and worse of all getting married. I don't ever want to be with no one else as he was so perfect for me. He had a good heart and he loved me very much, but the mistake we made was getting into a haram relationship and committed a very big sin. I feel as though he has lost all respect for me and that he can never love me in the same way again. I cry to Allah (swt) all the time and ask for forgiveness for what we both done and ask that he brings him back to me one day in the proper manner.
I so badly regret what we done because I am feeling the pain now. I am going through so much heart ache and I cant help but imagine what I will tell the person I will get married to. They will not want me, and I will be afraid to be with them. Also, I know it is said that once we repent and conceal our sin with Allah (swt) then one must not share the sin with no other. But I hate lying and will feel very unfaithful if I don't tell my husband, and what if he asks me one day? What will I say? I will not want to start a relationship by keeping back something so big, and I will hate it if he lied to me about such a thing. I am so afraid of what will happen in my life right now and I still do love him. I do want him to forgive me so badly, but I also want us both to repent.
I hope that Allah (swt) eases the pain in both our hearts, forgives us and helps us with a decision which will be best for us both. I understand that he don't want me back now and has said he submits himself to Allah (swt) and I respect him so much for that. I love him even more. I just really hope he commits to what he said, because I definitely intend to. It just hurts so much when he said that he can never bring me into his family, after they had to met me in that manner, and that he doesn't want to make me his wife ever. I am so broken down about that, I really don't want him to hate me and I want him to know how sorry I am.
I have definately learnt my lesson and will never do such things to hurt someone again, and never will i get close to another male until my husband. I just hope he forgives me one day....i feel so lost and lonely and have no idea how to move on!!!
~zayna786
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Asalaamualaykum Zayna786,
Unfortunately sister, what you have described is the tool of shaytaan that many people have fallen prey to. Your ex-boyfriend's response to your telling his family about you was to verbally abuse you, degrade you and leave you - even though you had been in a relationship and spoke about marriage for so long. This shows he lacked sincerity.
Apart from this - your relationship was flawed from the outset, so how can you expect it to blossom into a pure marriage? Sister, it was wrong 'period' - and the best thing you can do is to understand this whole experience as a big mistake.
Instead of grieving over your ex and trying to seek the forgiveness of a man who clearly never had any intention to marry you, lacked sincerity and accompanied you in grossly disobeying Allah, pause and re-evaluate your purpose in life. And then realise that you turned your back on Allah, for the sake of pleasing His(swt) creation, when infact you needed to be striving to please Allah your Creator. So now focus on seeking the forgiveness of Allah and leave anything that is haraam from your life. With time and patience the pain will heal and when Allah Knows you are ready, you will also feel ready to seek out a partner who is truly God-fearing.
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/poem-turning-back-to-allah/
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salamualaikum.
An aayah in the Qur'aan says (meaning) that only a Mushrik or a Zani (male participant of Zina) marries a zaaniyah (female participant)
So you can imagine how grave a sin it is. And you have indeed ruined the part of or the 'period' as sisterZ mentioned above. You have disobeyed Allah, and Hoped for His Mercy. Expected Him to answer your prayers or Du'as which could perhaps lead to more of the Haraam (i.e. If he agreed and you delayed marriage).
How as a Muslim I see things is none among the pure ones would agree to marry a Zaani or a Zaaniyah.
But then, the question is 'is your Life over?'
'Are you doomed?'
'is there no way out?'
before you answer these questions, know that there is a Lord above us, Who Created.
We belong to Him and to Him we shall return.
If you have realized how grave your sin is, then you will totally submit yourself to Allah and always regret your deed. Additionally, you will move away from the person you had a relationship with, to as far as possible. Kmow that he is not the right person for you if he doesn't intend tawbah. Because of what I mentioned from the Aayah of the Qur'aan above (and Allah knows best)
and now, towards those questions, then my sister, know that every son or daughter os Aadam commits a sin, but the best of these are the ones who do tawbah, according to a hadeeth.
So, do excessive tawbah. If formal punishment is possible (if you're in a place where Islamic rules are followed - such as Saudia) then I suggest you should ask for the punishment, which is a hundred lashes. This is so that your tawbah is eased and so that you do not have to face the Wrath of Allah on the Day of Resurrection. This was the practice of the Shabah. They asked for the punishment, in order to get rid of the punishment of the hereafter.
In other cases, you should de excessive tawbah, day and night. If The Lord can forgive a mushrik for his shirk, on tawbah, why not you?
Seek refuge from the Shaitaan and put your trust in Allah. Be as obedient to Allah, as possible, and Allah will forgive your sin insha Allah.
I suggest you to hide your deed, because if Allah does not want to reveal it, why would you want to? I am not confident about the analogy, but regarding concealing of sins and revealing them, a hadeeth says that when Allah hides a sin and you reveal it, it is in itself a sin.
Leave the matter to Allah and move ahead with a clean heart, not going forward to any man, get married to a god-fearing man, and do not worry, if Allah Wills He will know and if not, he wont.
This is my personal advise and do not consider it a ruling.
I hope it has helped you. And I hope Allah forgives you and gives you the perfect match.
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem
Sister, I found an answer to a similar question on Islam QA website (though I do not think the matter went to Zina). Insha Allah, it will help:
Q:
I am a young woman who has received a proposal for marriage from a man who has all the qualities that a Muslim girl could hope for in her life partner, praise be to Allaah. I accepted and the nikaah (marriage contract) was done a short time ago. I do not see anything but good in this young man, but the problem is that before he proposed to me, he asked my friend about me, and she told him that a long time ago I had a relationship with another young man, but the relationship ended and I repented to Allaah. I only found out that she had told him about that a short while ago, and I bear witness that I have repented to Allaah and come back to my senses, and I stopped speaking to that man. But I got upset when she told me about that and I shouted at her, but she told me that it was her duty to tell him, because it is the matter of a lasting relationship and I have to be frank with him about that. My question is, do I have to tell him frankly if he asks me? Or should I conceal it? I am afraid that this past will destroy my life.
A:
Praise be to Allaah.
Your friend made a mistake by telling the one who came to propose marriage to you about your previous relationship from which you have repented. What she did is not good and is not in accordance with sharee’ah, nor is it wise. The Muslim is enjoined to conceal his brother’s faults if he sees him committing sin in secret, so how about a sin from which the person has repented?!
What she did is not naseehah (sincerity or sincere advice) which is enjoined by sharee’ah on the one who is asked about a person with a view to marriage because that has to do with what he knows of the characteristics that are present at the time of asking, and it is not permissible for anyone to mention a bad past from which the person has repented.
What we understand from your words is that your friend told your husband of your previous relationship before he proposed to you. This indicates that he has forgiven you for that because he knows that you have repented and become righteous.
He did right by doing so, for there is no one who does not make some mistakes, but if he repents from them, he cannot be blamed or punished. The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin at all.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 4250; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.
What you should do is avoid bringing this subject up with your husband, but if he brings it up you should tell him that it was a passing relationship and one of the tricks of the Shaytaan, but you regret it, and Allaah has guided you and enabled you to repent.
Do not worry about this past so long as you have indeed repented and become righteous. Ask Allaah for strength and guidance and to accept your repentance.
“And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)”
[Ta-Ha 20:82]
Allaah says: “Every son of Adam is prone to err, and the best of those who err are those who repent.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2499; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
We ask Allaah to bless you and bring you both together in goodness.
And Allaah is the Source of Strength.
Dear Zayna786,
asalamalaikum,
please open your eyes and see the reality. he is NOT a God fearing person.if he was he would have married you. he played with you and when you got on to his nerves by asking for marriage he started acting up as angry, unpleased with you. its a very coomon way of such men, who are just enjoying relationships for the sake of enjoying not for commitment. sohave no doubt in your mind that he was a very bad person , who was playing games with you.
its difficult to forget about him as you were not playing games , you were sincere and wanted to get married. but you have now learned unfortunately through a heart break that certainly he didnot want the same.
many of us have been in that situation. try to just remind yourself of the sins you gathered during this relationship and seek Allah's forgiveness. dont sympathise with him. he is clearly lying to you. also that he has turned to Allah for which you are praising him , is also a lie. a lie to get rid of you. KEEP THIS VERY CLEAR IN YOUR MIND.
concentrate on your life. read Quran and namaz regularly. if someone loves you they never cause pain to you, so always remember the pain he has caused you , it will remind you that he didnt love you. the pain is not because you have lost him, if you think carefully , the pain is because he didnt consider you of any worth.
despite you doing everything possible in your hands for him , including zina. if you pay attention , you will find that you did zina not for your satisfaction but to please him and to have his trust in you , but look what he did to your trust in him!!!!!!!.
dear sis, now stop crying for him, only cry for your forgiveness from Allah, it was this pain that Allah was trying to save you from the beginning but we humans get strayed by shaytan although inside there is always something bothering us that its not right .
say inallillah -hi -wainaillaihi-rajioun........... search for this dua on this website rememeber it and say it all the time. inshallah you will heal. nothing is permanent in life, like this love of yours came to an end , inshallah this pain will too.
next time when you consider someone for marriage, inshaallah , He will bring someone for you , dont forget this experience, NEVER cross the limits. it will only hurt .
Asalamalaikum Zayna,
I have read your post and feel very sympathetic for you and unfortuantly, myself, as I too am in a similar sitaution. The problem with us girls is that we are very emotional and senisitive creatures which is the why Allah s.w.t created us. Allah swt created us from the rib of man to be protected and shielded from the evils of this world. I too relate to wanting to please a man so much so that you do things that you do not really want to do, you do things just so he doesn't go anywhere else and to keep him intrested until he comes through the door to ask for your hand. I am not proud of what I am about to say but I have been in a haram relationship with a man that I meet since college, I have known him for 6 years now and have been with him for 5. It started off innocent, i was religiously committed then and thought nothing will come in my way when it comes to Islam, but i was wrong. For us women are weak, he is a good man but he was young like I, he too had never been with any other girl, he was the first guy I was to be with. It's funny how I used to never refer to him as my bf or any of them names as I used to see him as my husband already when the fact of the matter he was not. No matter how good or nice someone can be, no matter how much your trying not to committ sin the fact of the matter is - when a man and woman are alone the shaytan is the 3rd one present. Women and men are like fire and wood - you can not be left together with the opposite sex and expect nothing to happen. slowly slowly u give him your number, then you start texting, specking on the phone in private behinf your parents back, lying to your family and friends, seeing eachother in groups of friends so you don't feel you will do anything wrong then u start cravign his attention of his words that draws the heart closer and takes you away from what were meant to be thinking about which is islam - then slowly in my case I stopped praying with the more sins I committed. I would have brought him to my house a long time ago if I knew my parents would except but my parents are lebanese and he is pakistani and the racism that exists there is beyond bounds, I feared my father a lot and he caught me one time on the phone with him and did a lot of crazy stuff but then I convinced him that it will end. However, it did not - I couldnt keep away cause of the way I felt about him and was so sacred for him to even come to my house to ask for my hand but time and time passed and years down the line - problems started to occur in our relationship. Although we never and have no committed zina, we have done bad sins for which we have repented for. what brought me back to religion was quite sad really, he cheated on me and started to have feelings for someone of his same nationality. but now hes back to me if u can call it that and is making tawba and is getting back into the deen. this completely shattered me as i gave him everything, went rhough so much pain with my family, lost decent freinds that tried to help me and have committes sins which i am not ptoud off for him. the dilemma I am now stuck in is hes back but what now? I have repented for my sins and do not want to do them again but I do noe if i continue specking to him then the shaytan will win! not coz i am not strong but because its facts of life - if you start wrong you will end wrong simple as that. i am trying to make things work and want to stop specking to him until he he ready to come and ask for my hand (financially he is not - hes 23 and just started a a new job), his mum is not approving and is telling him to wait 2yrs more. I have alredy been with him for 5 yrs can u imagine me not know where this going for another 2. Im sorry that im going on about my situation maybe im looking for some help too but my advice to you please do not feel it is your fault becasue IT IS NOT!! he shud have told ur family a long time ago but before u noe it time flies - shaytan interfers - problems happen within the haram relationship becuase it is not done properly in the eyes Allah swt and families. Sister I advice you to seek Allah because surely do hearts find rest when we go back to him, stop believing all he says and does becuase you keep thinking he's perfect when the truth is no-one is. May Allah guide him and you and help you to the right path and to ease your pain ameen ya rab! I do not wish to say he's a bad person because Allah is the only judge of that but what you need to do is start slowly - start praying your 5 prayers, making duaa, reading qur'an and attending lectures with good musliams that influence and can help you in the right way with deen - rather than what is latest fashion trend and what is the next product to help me be more beautiful as this is just the test of this world and the distractions that occupy us falsely and lead us to the wrong path when we should just be seeking the pleasure of Allah swt and not a human being on this earth that can dissapoint us at any time (as were humans) or a human that can lead us to the hellfire. think about this - if you were together do u think you will help eachother islamically to live yourlives according to islam and to making it to jannah? isn't that the prime goal of getting married to help eachothr make it to jannah as we are made in pairs to help eachother? Maybe - and Allah knows best - that maybee by this being the the way it did that Allah has a better plan for you? but he needs you to turn to him!! remember Life is a test!! and he is a human and Allah is the great, the rahim, the merciful who is the only one we can rely on. we go to our graves with only our bad and good deeds, can you imagine we spend our lives worrying about love and material things that have no meaning in the hereafter and just distract us from the honest truth of making it to jannah? do we have enough deeds to make it?? subhanallah, this is a message to myself before anyone else. I am going to give the guy that (i want to marry) a chance to put things right, as much as im sacred of my father, and aside frm all the hurt i have felt, for once and for all i stop contact with him and tell hm for hm to come when he is ready, in that time i wud have improved my iman inshallah and can face my parents a bit better - knowing i am inshallah doing things the right way. Allah knows best - if he comes great, if he doesn't - no more wasting a musliamh's time for me and no more spcking to me for which he has no right. I am women just like his sister that he is protective over and its time for me to respect Allah's rules and do things the right way. Allah guide me and the whole ummah facing hardships in this life. Allah grant us jannah and forgive all our sins, the intentional and the ones we are not aware off. May Allah swt guide and help you sister, i beg of you turn to him, i beg of you rely of him and you will not be disspointed.
Allah knows best,
Your Sister R
Asalaam alaikum SisterR,
This part of your post.....
Allah knows best - if he comes great, if he doesn't - no more wasting a musliamh's time for me and no more speaking to me for which he has no right.
.....has a very powerful realization: that no male has the right to speak to you without proper conduct and no right to pursue you unless it is about marriage by speaking to your parents, as soon as possible.
In my strong opinion, as soon as any woman, no matter how young or old, is approached by a male, she should ask, "Is your intention to marry me? If so, you must speak to my father and mother, so that we can discuss about it with them and have safe supervision. If you have no willingness to do that, and I do not accept any excuses in this matter, then I will not speak to you any further."
Some men will respect this and either speak to your parents or will back off and not go. The only ones who will come with excuses, and eventual manipulation with false words of sweetness, are the ones whose ill and evil intentions are apparent. Also, a woman cannot make excuses herself such as fear of her father. Indeed this is the work of Shaytan, and while the father may not be welcoming, issues of race can be overcome with a proper alim to assist in these matters. I have been witness to this myself and though it takes hard work, Alhamdulillah, racism can be overcome when Allah (swt) and righteous intentions are put forth justly. For this reason, I always encourage women to have a strong connection to their mosque, as guidance in marriage will always be needed by properly trained and insightful alims who can also find suitable, pious spouses, i.e. men committed to Islam within the community at large. In this day and age, many alims travel frequently and can also locate pious spouses in other cities and countries, as well. In the age of digital networking, our Islamic leaders should always be at the forefront of this new marriage phenomena.
As any man should attest to, when choosing to speak to a woman outside of business or Islamic education purposes (and we must be on guard during these times, too), men should have no problem speaking about marriage right away when their intentions are genuine. Before I proceed further, let me go back to the education aspect. It is also my strong belief that general education outside of Islamic knowledge does not and should not warrant any time of physical meetings between males and females. This includes study groups and study partners. While men and women can conduct themselves appropriately in large groups in university classes, formal debate sessions, etc., general education should never be used for idle talk or physical vicinity contact. It must be treated just like business contacts. Unfortunately, the latter has become an excuse for romantic infiltration, but again, noting the woman's question above, should steer women in the right direction and away from suspicious motives of men.
Islamic education constantly should adhere to the separation of men and women in the classroom, though teachers of the opposite sex can teach whomever. The proper seminaries have separate quarters and encourage Islamic obedience, as well. In this sense, there should never be any opportunity for intermixed gatherings unless Islamic social activities are taking place such as participating in charitable events, though all religious rules should be observed. Likewise, marriage proposals between classmates should be handled appropriately with good supervision and guidance.
In the instance of online and phone contacts, we should be cautious of "falling in love" with black letters on a screen. While online da'wah and sites like this one can spread the message of Islam, bringing people together to help one and other, at no time can we allow ourselves to be seduced by our own feelings into haram relationships. Upon current research, it seems that what happens with digital contact, is that the man and/or woman begins to fall in love with the attention they are getting with the texts, chats, and emails. The factor of "oh, look another message!" queues into an intrinsic lower desire for attention and approval. So in essence, we are not falling for the other person, so much as we are falling for the need to receive some sort of validation and fulfillment in our lives.
This becomes stronger in time and men being more sexually aggressive than women, typically begin to engage in flirtations such as:
"wow, you're smart,"
"you're kinda cute, too," and
"chatting/texting you is wonderful."
Which leads to further comments such as
"I love chatting with you,"
"I like you like crazy, let's chat," and
"I really like your messages, we should talk more."
This has the effect of making our inner desires feel even more attended to, and men become just as susceptible to these words as women do.
As the time goes by, both parties become impressed with the amount of time they are engaging in this online relationship and may take this as a sign of compatibility, though they have either never met or intentions have not been discussed with family members. This is especially dangerous without supervision. In another post on this website, this can eventually lead to cybersex and/or physical zina, which I have commented on, as well.
Reading about the digital relationship coincides with the actual physical encounters of the real world between males and females. Acquaintanceship can easily become friends who become illicit lovers, through the same process. In fact, digital contact only manipluates the physical encounters, bringing an anticipation of meeting with it. This can become extremely dangerous, as it fans the flames of desire beforehand, acting as an instance of emotional foreplay which both sexes are attuned to inherently. This is where the aggressive party will try to "make the move," since their lower desires are already redlining. With the passive party feeling emotionally vulnerable due to the digital attention, they also lower their guard while paying no mind to warning signals that were initially ignored during the chatting/texting courting, but should have been recognized in the physical world, if they had not been blinded.
The analogy has been drawn that since online attention affects us personally and readily in our world, this has become the digital "bar scene," where instead of liquor and alcohol being a means of lowering inhibitions, our need for digital attention acts as such. With young people engaging in large amounts of time on a daily basis with digital devices, this is even more so.
Neurological research is still ongoing in this field of the digital impression on our minds, but initial data suggests that young people are losing critical cognitive ability by delving into so many avenues of digital devices for long periods. So much so, that their ability to recognize physical dangers including those of relationships has been stunted by the digital and online world. This has gone further to suggest that while the person(s) may be able to still retain a high academia score, their critical thinking skills in real world applications, which should be enhancing their society and relationships around them, are failing them instead due to a lack of real world experience.
I have included a link to some interrelated studies here:
I mention this because the Muslim woman who is traditionally protected by her society is only beginning to realize that the digital devices she uses is indeed a trap door by which she may fall into the hands of predatory males who have ill and/or misguided intentions.
Insha'allah, this provides you sisters with the proper skills to guard against the digital assault that only seeks to lowers your inhibitions that would led you astray. And should also help you recognize the similar patterns of the real world.
In closing, I share with you this piece of advice from another website I read on true love.
The Noble Qur'an says:
"The believers are stronger in their love for Allah." (Surah Al-Baqara, 2:165)
According to Islamic teaching, the minimum expectation from believers is that God should have the first place in their heart, in the sense that no other love may override one's love for God; God should be the highest and foremost object of love.
Salam,
Mashallah just re-reading this post again and subhanallah your words make so much sense to me now.
Just wanted to say Jazakarallah for this insightful reply. May Allah keep us on the right path and have mercy on us all. Ameen
Sister R
Dear Zayna "786
this is also a my story, sisterZ, &all brothers R right Leave the matter to Allah and move ahead, trust on Allah nothing will wrong with you,do NAMAZ,ROZA & Pray to Allah everything will be all-right in u"r life,do onething do 2 roza & pray to Allah 4 forgiveness,i"am also doing this,i"am also not married i"am just 21 years old but i know i was not wrong ALLah will not do anythig wrong with me Allah WIll give me a very good husband & you too,leave all the shayitaan creations & do love with allah Only,No one right for u"r love my sist &u"ll get a good husband...
friend,
Allah does not wrong anyone, anytime.
He is most Just and whatever He does is unquestionably Just. And Our Lord is The Perfect Lord Who Created the Heavens, The Earth and all that exists.
You have a perception (what I understand from your reply) which is apparently wrong.
You should never say I am not wrong, so Allah will not do wrong. But you should always say 'I am wrong and I hope that The Oft Forgiving and The Most Merciful Lord forgives me' and you should follow tthis with excessive tawbah, even if it be a 1000 times a day. Just doing prayers and fasting wont help, until you have the right attitude about The Lord and why and How we Wroship Our Creator, to Whom we all have to return.
I just intended to correct you on this part. The choice is yours.
May Allah Guide you, me and all the Muslims who seek Guidance
Brother you are right your post really touch me in reality but people forget allah when they are doing evil things and i mean nasty words, attitude etc. But when something happens to them bad, then allah is everything to them regardless what those people did to those peoples feelings or said to them without realizsng tables will turn one day. You are right that's why there is always hope to forgive people who do wrong to you even you do not agree or have a bad heart allah always does right by you because you remember allah sincerely, you worship regardless. You need to ask allah and inshallah allah will give you, it is about patience and respect towards allah inshallah all muslims are directed to the correct path ameen.
Girls like you have became blind in this modern world, why you do such type of meaningless things " FALLING IN LOVE". WHAT IS THIS? Just on the name of Western Culture you people are spoiling the HUMANITY. Please Understand the reality of life. Girls like you are copying what is happening in MOVIES or TV serials, you think that whatever is happening in USA , should happen in your life . If you will follow that dirty culture then you must know that in USA according to survey ONE GIRL IS RAPED DAILY. so you think that it should happen to you people also. please be away from the glamour of this fake world.
I don't know who you was referring to but your comments were rather inconsiderate and this has nothing to do with the post. Referring to women being rape what do you think is happening in PAKISTAN AND THE REST OF THE WORLD!!! so that is happening everywhere brother it isn't about following dirty paths OR COPYING BOLLYWOOD/LOLLYWOOD/HOLLYWOOD etc it about people being directed onto the correct path after all none of us are 100% perfect. Next time brother think before you hurt someone else's feelings we are on this website to learn and share experiences not for people to disrespect each other and also not everyone is lucky to be blessed to stay away from fake glamour!!!!
more more thing HUMANITY is being spoiled by only humans no one to be blame here except the humans themselves this has nothing to do with tv, magazines only humans not wanting the good for anyone except themselves this is what you call selfish and greed.
Asalamualaikum sister...
Before we begin..All the other cruel and harsh comments Dont mind them..They are not in your position so they shouldnt judge..Allah(god) is the Judger of all Judges...
Im not a scholar, and im not a stranger..
Im your brother in Islam, and im a student seeking knowledge.
This is a test by Allah to see how much you love Allah..This is our life. Allah test us emotionally physically and spiritually.... .. If he knew what the right thing in Islam was. He would follow through and stay with you WALLAHI!!..May allah guide him and not put other women in your siituation Ameen Ya Rab..Your a very strong women. Your my sister. Forgive and Forget. For allah is THEE MERCIFUL..Allah loves you more then this man...7 times more than your own mother....Be thankful for what you have..A leg an arm, your health, your Beauty inside and out...Your a strong women now..Pick yourself back up on you feet inshallah and do more worship (ibadat)..Allah has a wonderful path for you. Keep seeking forgiveness and PRAY for thankfulness.
Move on sister, your a pearl that Allah is taking care of now. You have a better path
Forgive the brother and make dua for him and his family.
Coming from a guy, 20 years old Born Muslim Asian. (Malaysian)..Studying Islam
Shaytaan fooled you and him.. HIs desire fooled you..But Your sincerity of telling me this story is very in depth and will play a big role in my life now ...Allah knows Your trying to do a good thing and it was rejected...Alhamdililah
Sister, I would marry you even though you committed Zina
Wallahi i will forgive you...EVEN IF YOU had a child with him
This is not coming from my emotion or nafs(desires)...this is coming from my heart and Allah knows. It doesnt matter if you did a mistake so what? You learn from it and move on.. Allah Loves the one who seek repentance to him. All duas will be accepted with sincerity. Your on a right path. Stay true to yourself. Have patience and seek knowledge. Everyday theres something to learn especially from mistakes.
And today as a student of knowledge ive learned from you..Thank you And may allah make everything easier for you and bless you with a wonderful husband that will take you for who you are and have a wonderful family. For this life and the next.
Ameen
Ahmed, your words are generally kind, but your comment about "I would marry you and I will forgive you" is inappropriate. The sister is lost and confused and needs advice and direction, not proposals. Sincere advice is selfless. Don't insert your own desires in the middle.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Wael, Ahmed is only trying to help. Theres no need to say its his desires. The brother was only trying to help.
(Say: "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins...'') Allah invites all to His forgiveness; those who claim that the Messiah is God, those who claim that the Messiah is the son of God, those who claim that `Uzayr is the son of God, those who claim that Allah is poor, those who claim that the Hand of Allah is tied up, and those who say that Allah is the third of three [Trinity].
[al-A’raaf 7:156]
In Saheeh Muslim it is narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has one hundred parts of mercy, of which He sent down one between the jinn, mankind, the animals and the insects, by means of which they are compassionate and merciful to one another, and by means of which wild animals are kind to their offspring. And Allaah has kept back ninety-nine parts of mercy with which to be merciful to His slaves of the Day of Resurrection.”
Muslim, al-Tawbah, 6908.
It was narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Some prisoners were brought to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and there was a woman among the prisoners who was searching (for her child). When she found her child she embraced him and put him to her breast. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us, ‘Do you think that this woman would throw her child in the fire?’ We said, ‘No, by Allaah, not if she is able not to.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Allaah is more merciful to His slaves than this woman is to her child.’”
Agreed upon. Al-Bukhaari, 5653; Muslim, 6912.
One aspect of the mercy of Allaah to His slaves is that He sent the Messengers and revealed the Books and laws to organize their lives according to the ways of wisdom, far removed from hardship and difficulty. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We have sent you (O Muhammad) not but as a mercy for the ‘Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)”
[al-Anbiya’ 21:107]
The mercy of Allaah is what will admit His believing slaves to Paradise on the Day of Resurrection. No one will ever enter Paradise because of his deeds alone, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No one’s deeds will ever admit him to Paradise.” They said, “Not even you, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “No, not even me, unless Allaah shower me with His Mercy. So try to be near to perfection. And no one should wish for death; he is either doing good so he will do more of that, or he is doing wrong so he may repent.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5349; Muslim, 7042
So the believer must remain in a state between hoping for the mercy of Allaah and fearing His punishment, for Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Declare (O Muhammad) unto My slaves, that truly, I am the Oft-Forgiving, the Most-Merciful.
And that My Torment is indeed the most painful torment”
[al-Hijr 15:49-50]