Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He is willing to convert for me but not to pray

Can a conversion be sincere without salat? Is it a good idea to enter a marriage under these circumstances? (P.S. isn't this a cute photo?)

Can a conversion be sincere without salat? Is it a good idea to enter a marriage under these circumstances? (P.S. isn't this a cute photo?)

Salam, I really need some advice in this matter. I have been seeing a non-Muslim man for a few weeks. Firstly we were just friends now things have developed whereby we want to be together. I am an Arab Muslim and I have been married twice before to Arab men and things didn't work out. I also have 3 children.

My man says that he is willing to convert to Islam if that's what it takes to be with me but will it be accepted in Islam? We have spoken about this and he says that he will find it hard to pray 5 times and to perform Hajj but he is willing to do the rest of the 5 pillars, will this be acceptable?

- Rose

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11 Responses »

  1. Asslam-o-Alaikum sister,
    It is better for you to obey Allah in all matters without letting your wishes and desires to lead you astray.As far as I can see sister this man is just accepting Islam to marry you and not recognizing the truth of this deen from the depth of his heart.After marrying you,he might turn infidel again.Or it is also possible that he realizes the truth of it after entering it and becomes a true muslim from the bottom of his heart.But that is possible only if he is willing to practice this religion and to try to gain knowledge about it by effort.Now before even accepting Islam,he says that he will find it difficult to pray five times???
    I think you should ask your Imam about it.May Allah guide you as he knows what is in the hearts of people and save us from the temptations of shaytan.

  2. asalamu alaikum.

    hi how are you? hope you are doin well, ok after readin your question i can clearly say that he is only interested in you, jus to let you kno if you dont pray then you cant consider yourself a muslim, muslim is not jus a name which you carry in order to be a muslim you need to do what a muslim does and prayin is the most important factor. ive seen similar relationship as yours and they dont really work out. tell me what your goal is? meanin you lookin for a brother who will help you reach jannati firdous or jus kill some time in dunya? you need to look at the bigger picture, you want a relationship that will last a life time not a few weeks and get a divorve, anyway hope things work out

    ma salama

  3. Asalaamualaikum Sis...

    This man is clearly converting because of you. But at the same time, does he truly believe in the message of Islam? If not, then he is not a Muslim. And if he is not a Muslim, then he is not halaal for you.

  4. Hi Rose,
    To start with my dear Muslim how do you want to marry and you still married to me???
    How you consider yourself a Muslim and you slept with him in my bed several times after you threw out the man who cared and looked after you and bottled 5 years of yours and your family's aggressive nature and humiliation and kept quiet for the sake of the family??? The woman who betray once Reham she will do the same thing all over again???
    Don't think that Allah will forgive you for what you don't to me; NO miss perfect Allah will make you suffer for the rest of your life and finding this is the best example as I found lots of other things which brought humiliation and disgrace to you and your family when I tell about everything I have and know.
    Does your new my perfect knows you are suicidal and always on depression tablets?? Of course not you didn't tell your violent back ground and your aggressive nature as you lied to me.
    Do you remember when I caught him with you at home and you begged me not to tell anyone??
    Reham wake up and use your mind once in your life your mum destroyed your life twice don't or as you used to tell me I wasn't born in a country has azan every day I do whatever I like if you don't want my way go and marry Arab woman and I used to tell you Reham there are rules from Allah don't forget it and your reply as usual these rules doesn't suit my.
    Reham after this I have no other choice but to go to court and have the custody of my children to be brought up in the right Islamic way not with someone who doesn't care about anything in the world except herself and low class method.
    PS: you will never get the Islamic divorce, keep living in haram Reham as this is the only way you know.

    • Well... I'm almost speechless after that. Brother Sharif, how do you know that the author of this question is the same woman you are married to? IF she is the same person, and IF everything you have said is true, then I think it's a good idea to petition for custody of the children. However, you should also give her an Islamic divorce and move on. I realize that you are feeling angry and bitter, but the best thing for you is to let her go and try to move on emotionally, however long that takes. To try to make her suffer is beneath a Muslim's dignity.

      • Dear Mr. Wael,
        Thank you for kind reply, your question is so important, Allah always send people to help each other as he only knows the truth and hate to see his truthful people suffer, I know because one of her "“according to my wife her best friend- told me about her plan and send me the link with a proof email from you (Mr. Wael) in response to her question to this website, which by mistake my wife she send it to her and her friend contacted me and told me and I couldn't believe her as she is very close to my wife but told me aSharif, Allah loves you so much that you left her, your wife no one can stand or be with her when they live with her, I will send you the proof'
        I received the proofs not one proof with amazing 100s of pounds worth of drugs bought it from the internet rather than feeding my children.
        All this will be taken to court to have the custody of my children back to live in decent Islamic environment.
        My brother,
        Allah is witness for everything and he only knows the truth and knows how much I suffer from her and her family, she betrayed me before and I forgave her not to break the marriage and the family but after all the evidences I received now I am sure she planed to get red of me for the sake of haram as she knows she cant follow our great religion.
        Alhamdullah, he saved from her, she doesn't care about her reputation at all, when I found her with him she begged not to tell anyone for the sake of the children and promised me to bring them every weekend, two days later as usual changed her mind and now over a month haven't seen or spoken to my children as she as usual playing mental and emotional games with as she knows how much I am attached to them.
        PS: if you want Mr Wael's response to her I am willing to post it here also to make you sure 100% that she is the right one - after the admin permission of course-

  5. Dear Mr Wael,

    Thank you so much for not deleting the question as my wife requested from you; I really do appreciate that so much.
    Today she phoned me still denying she has anything with it and she has no boy friend but as usual she fall in her stupidity as confessed it was only a hypothetical question thinking all people around her are stupid enough to believe her lies forgetting that Allah always there monitoring every little thing.

    My brother,
    I know its too much to ask of you, and I am sure you build this fabulous site to enlighten people to see the truth and learn from other's mistakes and not to fall in any haram and be aware not to fall with black hearted people just because showing nice color; I do appreciate if you can post my wife's email to you to show everyone how people can be deceived easily and to learn to follow our great book the holy Quran.
    This way Allah will reward you more and more Mr Wael, I know for a fact you thought about it but people has to know how evil play easily for whoever doesn't accept Allah's words

    Thank you so much my brother for your kind hearted.

    • I do not and will not publish people's private emails to me on this website, unless they are questions intended for publication on the site. I am not here to "expose" anyone, or to take sides. I am not a detective. People send questions, and I or Sister Z answer them as time allows, and we allow comments on them. That's all. That is the function of this website.

      Also, the fact that you apparently don't live with your wife and yet you know the contents of her email to me, is troubling. Are you monitoring or hacking her email? If so, I suggest you stop, as it is an invasion of privacy. You cannot control her behavior. You can only control yourself.

  6. It was so naive of me to think this website would be free from the likes seen only on Jerry Springer!

    But well said, Wael.

    J. Alexander Lloyd

  7. Well, at least no one is having fist-fights and throwing chairs.

    But seriously, the people who write are real people dealing with real distress, confusion or pain. I try to be compassionate and to point to a way forward, even when it's not an easy way. Sometimes I get impatient, I admit, or maybe frustrated is a better word, especially with people who have consciously put themselves into painful and even dangerous situations, by ignoring their instincts and common sense.

    But I've been there myself. So the challenge for me is to remember what it was like to go barreling down the wrong path and knowing it, but unable to see the way out. And then translate that into something useful that might help someone else.

  8. I see people are objecting? but if he agrees to become muslim and accept Islam, and perform the other pilars, whats the problem?
    I was on this website "sunnipath", and a woman sent in a question, sayin her husband has stopped prayin, and doing non muslim things, but still claimed to belive in Allah, her reply was " to hang on the marriage, cus he belives in Allah anyway" whats so diffrent from this sitation and the auther of this question?

    And i dont get why the editor of this website doesnt delete Sharifs post!
    We dont know neither of these persons, so we dont actually know whats goin on in their who are we to read/judge this woman...

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