Islamic marriage advice and family advice

The Hoor of Paradise are for men; what will we women get?

The Reward of The Hereafter

The Reward of The Hereafter

Assalamualikum

I have a question about what is the reward for woman in Jannat.

Will woman also get hur as like as man.

What is the real meaning of hur?

In Surah ar rahman what Allah says about Hur. Here I want to mention Yousuf Ali:  In them will be (Maidens) Chaste restraining their glances whom no man or Jinn before them has touched.

Won't we woman get the reward as like as man? I wish to get same reward like man. I also heard man will get two wives in jannat.

Please give me clear answer. I hope the answer from our repected editors as well as my muslims brothers nd sisters.

~ ratri


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121 Responses »

  1. Assalamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

    Sister Ratri, the Hoor are a Creation of Allah, not from the offspring of Aadam Alaihis Salam. They will be married to the believing men who shall enter the Jannah. In beauty, they are like rubies and corals as Surah ar Rahman says.

    The Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam told us that al-Hoor in Jannah sing with sweet, beautiful voices. In al-Mu'jam al-Awsat, at-Tabaraani reports with a saheeh isnaad from Ibn 'Umar that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, "The wives of the people of Paradise will sing to their husband in the most beautiful voices that anyone has ever heard. What they will sing is: "We are good and beautiful, the wives of a noble people, who look at their husbands content and happy." And they will sing, "We are eternal, and will never die, we are safe and will never fear, we are remaining here and will never go away." [Saheeh al-Jaami as-Sagheer]

    Samawayh reported in al-Fawaa'id from Anas that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said, "al-Hoor al-'Eeyn are singing in Paradise saying, "We are the beautiful houris, we are being kept for noble husbands." [Saheeh al-Jaami']

    The Hoor of Paradise are for men, as Allah Has Said, and He Has Said the Truth. We are not authorized to question Him in His Creation and His Reward.

    My sister, are you sure you will enter the Jannah? If you are not, then why should you be worried about what you will get in it? Al Jannah is a place where, once anyone enters, will have no need unfulfilled. So, just work towards it instead of thinking about what you will get and what you will not. If you make it to the Jannah, to the pleasure of its Creator, that is more than enough. You will get all that pleases you if Allah lets you enter the Jannah.

    Rest assured that He does not wrong anyone and Is Free from oppression. If He Has Created the Hoor for men, then it is just and does not wrong women in anyway. We have been told by our Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam that a woman will be with her last husband in Jannah, if both of them are allowed to enter the Jannah by The Lord of all that exists. And Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “There will be no unmarried person in Paradise.” [Sahih Muslim]

    What if the woman that dies was unmarried? Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen Rahimahullah said about the du'a for a dead woman: “O Allaah, provide her with a husband who is better than hers”:

    “If the dead woman was unmarried, then the meaning would be, ‘O Allaah, provide her with a husband better than the one she would have married if she had remained alive.’ With regard to the married woman, the meaning would be, ‘Provide her with her husband after improving his manners and attributes.’ This is because replacement means either replacing an entire item with another one or replacing the attributes of an item with other attributes. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {[It will be] on the Day the earth will be replaced by another earth, and the heavens [as well]} [Quran 14:48] The verse says that the earth and heavens will be replaced, while the earth itself will remain after being extended, and the heavens themselves will remain after being cloven.”

    The scholars say that women of Paradise may be more beautiful than the Hoor. Shaikh ibn 'Uthaimeen Rahimahullah has said: It seems to me that the women of this world will be better than the hoor al-‘iyn, even in outward appearance, and Allah Know Best (Fataawaa Noorun 'Ala-d Darb)

    Umme Salamah (radi Allahu anha) narrates that she said to Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam): "O Rasul Allah, are the women of this world superior or the hoors (of Paradise)?" He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied, "The women of this world will have superiority over the hoors just as the outer lining of a garment has superiority over the inner lining." Umme Salamah (radi Allahu anha) then asked, "O Rasul Allah, what is the reason for this?" He answered, "Because they performed salah, fasted, and worshipped [Allah]. Allah will put light on their faces and silk on their bodies. [The human women] will be fair in complexion and will wear green clothing and yellow jewelry. Their incense-burners will be made of pearls and their combs will be of gold. They will say, 'We are the women who will stay forever and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never undergo difficulty. We are the women who will stay and we will never leave. Listen, we are happy women and we will never become sad. Glad tidings to those men for whom we are and who are for us.'" [Tabrani]

    Hoourun 'Een are not the only rewards of Paradise, but there are innumerable others. Why not concentrate on them, than let Shaitaan bring this doubt about Allah in your heart. Yes, this is a doubt that Shaitaan puts in the heart of believing women, saying Allah Has wronged. Na'oodhu Billah. This is because he was cast out of the Jannah, due to his disobedience and pride, and wants to take the maximum people with to the Hell Fire.

    Whether male or female, everyone will stay in the Pleasure of The Mighty Creator. And the most valuable and the best reward one can ever get in the Jannah is that a person will see The Lord, His Blessed Face. The One we have been Worshipping without seeing, believing that He Exists for sure and approving each and every letter He Spoke, in sha Allah, This Lord Will Come before us and show us His Face. What else would a person want?

    So, my sister, throw such doubts out of the window and rest assured that whatever is in Jannah is a reward that is best. No eye has ever seen and no ear has ever heard of it. Concentrate on your prayers and following the Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, his Sahaabah Radiyallahu Anhum Ajma'een, and the ones who followed them among the Salaf and the Khalaf Rahimahumullah. In sha Allah, this is where lies the Pleasure of ar Rabb. Make yourself eligible for al Jannah, and you will in sha Allah get what you can not even imagine about. Never ever doubt the reward of your Creator - al Kareem.

    There are some people - some thinkers that say that there will be Hoor among men that are for women. This is untrue and against the understanding of the Salaf among the Sahaabah and all those who followed them. So do not be under their influence. To prove this, read the following from Tafsir of Ibn Katheer (Rahimahullaah):

    “They (the women of paradise) lower their gaze and avoid looking at men other than their husbands, so they do not think that there is anything in paradise that is more handsome than their husbands. This was stated by Ibn ‘Abbaas, Qataadah, ‘Ataa` Al-Khurasaanee and Ibn Zayd.

    And It was also narrated that one of them will say to her husband, ‘By Allaah, I do not think that there is anything in Paradise finer than you, or that there is anything in Paradise dearer to me than you. Praise be to Allaah Who has made me for you, and made you for me.‘ “ (Imaam Ibn Katheer in his Tafseer)

    For more proof that they are women this is a brief look at what has been said about them in the Qur’aan. In the Sunnah there are descriptions of their beauty and fairness which defy the imagination, such as the following:

    It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The first group will enter Paradise looking like the moon on the night when it is full, and those who follow them will be like the brightest shining star in the sky. Their hearts will be as one, and there will be no hatred or jealousy among them. Each man will have two wives from among al-hoor al-‘iyn, the marrow of whose calves can be seen from beneath the bone and flesh.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 3014; Muslim, 2843.

    Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

    The stunning beauty of the hoori is such that the marrow of her calves can be seen from beneath her clothes, and a man will be able to see his face in the liver of one of them, like a mirror because of the fineness of her skin and the purity of her colour. Fath al-Baari, 8/570

    I implore Allah to make me and you one of the dwellers of al Jannah. I ask Him to make us the inheritors of al Jannatal Firdaus. Aameen.

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Subhanallah brother. Excellent reply. I often pondered over the same question but then soon realized what could b a better motivation for jannah or a better reward than the company of Allah s.w.t. And prophet Muhammed 's (s.a.w) company?

      Very informative answer.
      Jazak Allah.

    • salam brother,

      [The human women] will be fair in complexion

      i just wanted to know that why Allah mentions beauty in terms of colour. is fair complexion really a beauty.Is it not discriminative? .After all its the same Allah that created men and women in different colours. Why in Quran, the beauty of women in mentioned in terms of fair complexion and big (wide) eyes etc?. if a sinner is to be mentioned in quran its mentioned as black face. why this mention of colour?

      i sometimes wonder , why women are described in terms of their physical beauty in quran, when it comes to Jannah, while in the world we are taught that physical attributes are not the criteria. is it that Allah want men to know that they will have the most beautiful woman they ever desired. which again makes me think that in a woman ,is that what really attracts a man afterall?

      just few questions that always crossed my mind and since the discussion if so informative , i thought i will ask these questions as well.

      jazakallah khair.

      • Wa Alaikum as Salam sister,

        The correct answer to this is that "Allah Knows Best. Allah's Wisdom is beyond our thoughts, beyond Human Logic".

        If you ask how I understand this, consider this:

        When you have two persons, one who is black and one white, who is more pleasant to look at? You might say you would not discriminate, but given a choice, will not a dark individual choose fairer skin? Allah Created some people dark, and tested their patience. He Created some people fair and tested them to see if they discriminate, of they become arrogant.

        In Jannah, everyone will be in perfection and there will be no scope for any flaw. In this World, a person can be beautiful, as well as dark, but isn't a fair person more desirable? (In no way I discriminate, when I say this).

        Without any doubt, no black is superior over a white and no white is superior over black in this World because what Allah Sees is not our faces, but our hearts. The proof is this Hadith from Sahih Muslim:

        Rasoolullah Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam said ``Allâh does not look at your bodies or your (outward) forms, rather He looks at your hearts'' and he pointed with his fingers to his chest.

        Subhanallah! Our Lord Is The Most Wise. He Tested some by giving beauty, to see if they are arrogant, and he created someone less beautiful, to see if they still thank Allah. But after all the tests, when Allah Will Reward and show His Pleasure and Hospitality, He Will give the best, He Will Make them the most beautiful possible. The sinners, who fail and who earn Allah's Displeasure, they will be the most ugliest. Their faces will darken and the faces of the believers will brighten, to say that their beauty will be the best that one can have. No more imperection, no more tests, now; It is time to enjoy the perect Hospitality of The Perect Lord.

        This is what I believe. And Allah Knows Best if there is any other Wisdom behind this. Let it be whatever, it will be better if we avoid the questions "why?" especially when it comes to the matters that Allah Has Decided, and the matters of Ghayb. I hope you understand what I mean. 🙂

        I pray that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala brightens our faces and Gives our records in our right hands. Aameen.

        Jazakillahu Khair

        Abu Abdul Bari
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • salam brother,

          i found your reply very interesting.

          i know Allah wisdom is beyond huan mind, but i also know that Allah appreciates and encourages a pondering mind

          when these questions cross my mind, knowing that Allah is the most just,the best of explanation that comes to my mind is that all explanation of jannah and its habitat are explained in terms of what human mind can conceive of in this world.

          so attributes of beauty are explained in terms of what human mind would understand .but in reality Jannah is far superior to what we can think of.

          When you have two persons, one who is black and one white, who is more pleasant to look at? You might say you would not discriminate, but given a choice, will not a dark individual choose fairer skin

          what people will choose is very relative to which environment they have been in.few years ago if you happen to be black , you were considered outcasted, now if you are black , you can be president of a country and included in one of the charming people in the world.

          iam a very proud 'brown' i come from na back ground where fair skin colour is consedered a blessing and dark skin colour a curse or as you have put it 'a test from God' .funnily now i live in a heavily white populated region and my colleagues (white) after having their tans come and compare their skin to mine and say ' ooh nearly there' i find it so funny as i know many people used to apply whitining stuff backhome and say to their fair colleagues ' nearly their.'

          any way thats a debate for a seperate post i guess.

          jazakallah khair for the reply.

          • Wa Jazallahu Iyyaki, sister,

            You are a very proud "brown" because you do not complain to Allah for His Creation and have patience over the thoughts and statements of the "fair" who consider it a "curse" to not be fair. If Allah Gives Jannah to the one who is brown in this World, this person will be given the beauty that is unimaginable. Some scholars say it is better than that of Hoorun Een. The people who were fair and were proud, if they do not make it to the Jannah, will regret their deeds and they will have the ugliest faces. While the people who had patience, regardless of their color, will have the most beautiful appearances, which we can not imagine, sitting in this World.

            No sister, I would not debate about Allah's Will and His Knowledge, I will not debate about the unseen. I Fear Allah, lest I should speak about matters that no Human has enough knowledge about without having any right to do so, and make my Lord Angry. The thing that I run from, I would not debate about it, in sha Allah. I would ponder over His Creation, His Bounties, imagine the Jannah, as informed. But I Fear about asking Him a question that would make Him angry. He Said to Nooh Alaihis Salam:

            فَلَا تَسْأَلْنِ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ ۖ إِنِّي أَعِظُكَ أَنْ تَكُونَ مِنَ الْجَاهِلِين
            "so ask Me not for that about which you have no knowledge. Indeed, I advise you, lest you be among the ignorant."
            (Surah Hood, Aayah 46)

            May Allah Forgive me if I have ever made this mistake, and if I ever do it out of ignorance. I am no more than a weak and poor slave, Fearing His 'Iqaab and Hoping for His Rahmah. May Allah Save us from Jahaalah and from His Curse, His Anger and His Wrath.

            Abu Abdul Bari
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Well I was smiling while reading your mind. The color and differences are deliberately put in amongst the creations by Allah swt himself. If you've read the theory of relativity - the gist of it literally will also apply here - you yourself guessed the half part first. One is Creation's perspective and the other is Allah's (swt) perspective.

            For us things are different, beautiful, ugly and so-so.

            The changes in color, skin and even crops/fruits earthly output is because of cosmic coordinates of energy surrounding, sifting and reaching to the earth - after 1500 miles you find noticable changes in everything be it color of skin, language or fruits.

            This life-radiation was designed precisely by Allah swt as He claims in Quran - we made tribes out of you and so many languages. Had this been a godless evolution - things could have been same everywhere.

            But then in colors - every color has a density and an aesthetic appeal. Quran says light is not equal to darkness.

            In the relevance of Creator - there is nothing superior and everything among creations is equal within the ranks of creation however may be with different endowments.

            Whereas in the relevance of Creations - nothing is equal. You won't find anything equal. Fair people mostly look more beautiful than those with dark complexions - exceptions apart.

            The Hoors and particular knowledge given at that time was in relevance with the Arab tribes for WHOM the standard of beauty started with fair complexion. I hope you got my point.

            However, if you prefer a black husband in Jannah - you make DUA to Allah swt and either He swt would turn your husband black (if he wills so as well) or would marry you to a black man or even your husband could acquire various racial profiles - everything could be arranged in Jannah by the grace of Allah swt.

            Search and question with a Believer's mind!
            Regards.

      • Basically fairness means the noor emerging from the face/body. Nothing bright can be dark in color.
        And the blackness of a sinner is the noor-lessness of his/her face/body.

    • all answers are right but question is what women will get in rewards. why you people for females emphasis that do prayers or asking a women are you sure you enter the Paradise. why not this question is asked to man. Allah has not created man that in every case they will enter paradise??? u people give irrelevant answer. at least answer about the rewards for women too. how can u teach your child? definitely u said we shall give a big gift for u if you top. if man are telling u will get such and such rewards so do good. then y not you people said that she will get such and such rewards. man's are not a big gift that we are going to have in Jannah. wish to live without husband's in Jannah because males only know they have rights and females are our slaves. we don't want husbands. I think to look at our Allah will be a big gift. thanks to Allah for giving hoors at least husbands will remain away sometimes from us.

    • I dont agree with the way you answered the question.
      its not that weird to wonder why a man gets 72 virgins and what the woman would get. You keep saying the shaytan is giving her doubts and that she should better worry about getting into paradise in the first place.
      also u didnt answer what an unmarried woman would get. Are there men of paradise (not from the offspring of Adam) for these unmarried women?

    • Respected Sir, i appreciate the great response you gave to that sister of ours. but just a small advice, i saw in your text you had mentioned we'll see Allah's Face on that day. please don't say that, because we can't attribute face to Almighty Allah, Allah says there is nothing like me. so we're not allowed to attribute anything to Allah, instead of saying we see his face you could say We'll have the chance to see him. don't say a specific body part don't associate body parts to Almighty Allah, if Allah says Yadullah, that doesn't mean hand of Allah, like a physical attribute that's just a word which describes his assistance in some instances and his power in other. so be aware. Jazak Allahu khairan.

    • So men can have their sexual desires satisfied by many houris, but women will have their sexuality and desires limited to only one husband. Why is that so? Why would Allah not allow women to enjoy their sexuality to its fullest extent? Since it is known that women enjoy and desire relations just like men, would it not be fair to allow women to enjoy it just as men do?
      Or are women inhibited from enjoying their sexuality?

  2. Salam Brother,

    Whilst on the subject I just wanted to ask in Islam is the man's position more superior then a women's? As Adam was created first then Hawa was created in order to be a companion and mate to Adam.

    Men enjoy far more benefits and rights then women. Non muslim's always ridicule us by playing the card that muslim women are oppressed. I always say that men and women are equal in islam, but am I right according to islam. Some people say that men have a decree over women. What does that mean?

    When I go back to my home country I often here people saying that you are lucky to be male as you are free to enjoy life as you please. but for women they say they are unlucky as they have been created as a lower being then men. women have only been created to serve men. Even with the hoors in heaven it just seems that mens ultimate pleasure is enjoying women in this life and the next. So I don't know according to Islam is there any truth in this? or is it just a cultural ideology?

    I do not know how to answer non muslims when they always argue that women in Islam are only used by men to satisfy mens carnal urges. Is there a verse in the Quran that explains the correct position of women in islam?

    As you can understand being a women it is completely degrading to think that we are just objects or stepping stone for men as to Allah we must mean more then this.

    Also what happens to children who die before puberty? As you said everyone will be married? are they accounted for their sins?

    JazakAllah khair

    • Sumaira, As-salamu alaykum,

      Women are absolutely not a "lower being" in Islam. No such terminology exists in Islam. Men and women are equal before Allah. All human beings are judged by their imaan (faith) and their deeds; not by their gender.

      Allah says, "Whoever does righteous acts, whether male or female, while he is a believer, verily, to him We will give a good life, and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do." - Quran, [16:97]

      The creation of Hawa (Eve) was, like all other human beings, to worship Allah; and also to be a mate for Adam, just as he was a mate for her. This is a great blessing and a sign from Allah; they were created, as the Quran says, from a single soul. This indicates that men and women are meant for each other. They proceeded from a single soul, and they can only be truly fulfilled and happy when they are united again.

      The Messenger of Allah (sws) commented on this, saying, "Verily, women are the twin halves of men." [Abu Dawood #234 , Tirmidhi #113 & others]

      This is an affirmation of love, and the unity of marriage. It is not an indication of superiority and inferiority.

      Allah says, "And of everything We have created pairs, that you may remember (the Grace of Allah)." - Quran [51:49]

      I totally disagree with you that men have far more rights and benefits than women. Rather, the rights that are enjoyed by each are slightly different. For example, the man is considered the head of the household; on the other hand, the woman has the right to receive a mahr, which the man must pay; then she has the right to be provided for, without taking an outside job; and if she does take an outside job then she has the right to keep her money to herself, without sharing it with her husband. Should men complain that all of this is unfair?

      Men and women are spiritually equal, and they both enjoy full rights under Islamic law. Allah further elaborates on the relationship of men to women, saying:

      "The believers, men and women, are helpers, supporters, friends and protectors of one another, they enjoin all that is good, and forbid all that is evil, they offer their prayers perfectly, and give Zakah (Obligatory Charity) and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will bestow Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise." - Quran, [9:71]

      Helpers, supporters, friends and protectors of one another - subhanAllah, that is beautiful!

      However, men and women are not identical. They are different creatures, with different bodies, different emotional responses, and different ways of thinking. Islam recognizes this and legislates accordingly. Men are given the right to marry more than one; and they also receive a larger percentage of inheritance.

      The West, on the other hand, pretends to ignore this truth (that men and women are different), while in reality they exploit women sexually in every possible way.

      Now, if you're talking about our Muslim cultures, on the other hand, then I agree with you. Every country is different, but in some of our Muslim societies women are badly subjugated.

      For example, in various countries you find such customs as:

      * Female children are unwanted and devalued. Everyone prefers boys.
      * Female children may not receive an equal education, or any education at all.
      * Some girls are subjected to genital mutilation.
      * A married women becomes a virtual slave to her in-laws.
      * Men beat their wives without consequence.
      * A woman who is raped might be blamed, even though she is the victim.
      * "Honor killings" in which a girl might be killed by her own family for any slight or misbehavior.

      All of this is abominable. It's not from the teaching of Islam. It's a result of ignorance and un-Islamic cultural practices. And in fact these behaviors are not unique to Muslim societies. You find the same behaviors in Hindu society, and in China, and in parts of non-Muslim Africa.

      Our Muslim societies need education and reform to eliminate these practices. I hope that one day we'll return to way of Islam, and all such inequities will be abolished, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I hope that one day we'll return to way of Islam, and all such inequities will be abolished, Insha'Allah.

        In sha Allah, brother. This will happen. May Allah guide these ignorant people indulging in such brutalities with the perception that "women are lower".

        You have also clarified that men are different from women, which the west has ignored. One such point that they use is the Aayah of the Quran which says that "Men are protectors of Women because Allah has made one of them to excel the other (الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ)" saying this says women are spiritually inferior. They fail to understand that this is because women are weaker than men in creation. And none can deny that, can they? 🙂 Even many Muslims get into doubt when this is concerned.

        Sister Sumaira, you also asked about children who die before reaching puberty. There are Ahaadeeth that say they will be tested by Allah to see what they choose. But after all, it is a matter of Ghayb, which has nothing to do with us. Allah Will Take care of it and He Will not wrong anyone, whatsoever. So, let us concentrate on what bothers us, our preparation for the Aakhirah, than give Shaitaan a chance to turn our mind to the otherwise.

        “From the excellence of a man’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.” (Tirmidhi)

        The World will speak and will ridicule and will misinterpret the laws of Islam to mean the otherwise, they can not escape the day when they will have to face Allah. We will not bend the meanings of the Quran and the Sunnah to explain to them, if we do not understand. We will just say Allah Knows Best, Allah Is The Most Just and The Most Wise. His Laws are not like the man-made material laws, they are perfect and they are the need of the hour to put an end to the injustice in the World. May Allah Guide these people to His Way.

        Abu Abdul Bari
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I wanted to clear some of my doubts. You said that man and woman are created from one soul that was halved. So what about men who marry 2 or 3 women? Were their souls split in 3 parts?
        Also sometimes people get divorced and marry others. Why is that, weren't they supposed to me soul mates forever?

        • You misunderstood. I said Adam and Hawa, the first two human beings, were created from a single soul. However, this is not true for all the humans who followed them. Each of us has our own individual soul. I personally do not believe in the concept of "soul mates" in the sense that these two souls can only find love with each other. Rather, I think true love can occur between any two people who treat each other with compassion, respect and kindness.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Salam alaikum

      I'am a young Muslim married women hamdulillah and I feel blessed to have my husband in my life. When I seek guidance I always turn to the teachings of Islam and one thing I find interesting is in regards to women and men... I always find equality and fairness in the Quran and Hadiths yet Muslims don't seem to speak much about a women's rights and status, they seem to always refer back to their rights and women are almost cast out but thanks to the Quran I never let that bring me down, but I just don't understand why majority of the Muslim brothers lack understanding on women..How could men say that we females don't have desires? Of course we have desires and this is one of Allah's tests to all mankind. As I said I love my husband a lot and physically he is a very attractive man but I want to prove a point here... Regardless of how much I love my husband and the attraction between us, I sometimes feel strange strong desires but hamdulillah Islam keeps me away from acting on my desires and my husband also desires other women and I accept it because this is the way men are designed. Allah does not speak so much about women and their desires in the Quran and this I believe is to protect us...The prophet SAW has mentioned that men should foreplay with their wives and satisfy them...in other words we love sex too and clearly that is also the way we are designed but Allah will not speak about females in this manner Because of our femininity maybe,
      but as a physical form this is a fact... We enjoy men the same way men enjoy women but we just don't speak of it.... My point is Allah clearly speaks of rewarding man with all these females and I accept and acknowledge this... Allah speaks of women's rewards but to an extent. Now having something in clear writing stating that women will also have men other than their husband as a reward, is kind of hard to take in especially for men. Sex is a very deep and intimate act and women with countless men just doesn't sound right. Some things are only for Allah to know and that's just the mysteries of the unknown. I believe Allah has a great reward for the women that will enter jannah... If Allah says my husband will be enough for me then so be it. There are scholars who also say that Hoor al Ayn could possibly also be referring to both women and men but Allah w Alam. Men also speak a lot of polygyny but they never speak of their punishment if one wife is treated unfairly... I don't want to speak this way about our Muslim brothers but yes Allah has permitted this law but he has not made it easygoing you's either... Majority don't speak of this for the right cause, rather it's for their own satisfactions. If you are not religious enough I believe you will struggle treating fairly... Polygyny for women in this dunya is a BIG no no coz physically it's not right nor healthy.
      hope I'm not misunderstood I just want Muslim brothers to understand that there's a lot more to women then they think. We are told to act, dress and speak in a modest manner... Coz we are full of surprises obviously with your spouse only.
      I hope I haven't offended no one!!!

      • Ziena: ......I'am a young Muslim married women hamdulillah and I feel blessed to have my husband in my life.........How could men say that we females don't have desires? Of course we have desires and this is one of Allah's tests to all mankind. As I said I love my husband a lot and physically he is a very attractive man but I want to prove a point here... Regardless of how much I love my husband and the attraction between us, I sometimes feel strange strong desires but hamdulillah Islam keeps me away from acting on my desires and my husband also desires other women and I accept it because this is the way men are designed......The prophet SAW has mentioned that men should foreplay with their wives and satisfy them......

        You made this comment about 2 years ago. Do you still think about the same way about sex?

        Your huband told you he desires other women. Did you ask him why he desires other women since he has you? Since you also some times feel strange strong desires, did you share that info with your huband.

        Do you comunicate with your husband about what satisfies you and importance of foreplay?

        • Many Muslims have multiple numbers of wives(like for mostly the men of Saudis Arabia and many Islamic countries).Doesn't one woman is enough for a man?They need to be satisfied with many why is that?And it is legal?

    • Yes brother you are right. I hate being a woman . I want to live my life according to my own wishes but if i am not a obedient wife i'll enter hell. Many scholars say that wives of this world won't be jealous of hoors, their nature will be changed in jannah(will become robots). Then why mens' polygamous nature will not be changed. If we will lower our gaze and think that our husbands are best than anything else in jannah then why can't our husband do this. I understand why men can have four wives here and not women but i cant understand why we cant have more men there? I want my husband to be with me only. I am loyal to him in this world and also in jannah then why i cant have his loyalty? Are we women just sex slaves ?? We are humans we also have feelings n self respect. We also have honour and my honour can't allow my husband to touch any other woman.

      • No one will be either robots or sex slaves in Jannah. Please stop spreading such ideas. Islam is a fair, equitable and just deen. Jannah is a true prize for any human being, male or female. People will have whatever their hearts desire in Jannah Insha'Allah, so I would hardly worry about it. The only worry is how to get there.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Awask Sister,

    I was watching a lecture of a sheikh on you-tube. He explained that women will also get handsome men like men getting beautiful women. Allah is not explicit in mentioning the same for women in Quran. The reason is because Allah has created women with more shyness then men.

    Its acceptable scenario for men in society when someone asks him why Allah has given men so many hoors.
    The obvious answer is to have comfort and physical pleasure with them. A man can accept and face this fact without hesitant because Allah has created man like that.

    But when the same question is put to believing women , the situation will be very awkward for women to explain when someone ask her why Allah has given them so many handsome man in Jannah.

    Allah will not do injustice with anyone my sister.It just that Allah is considerate about women shyness and wants her to keep away from awkward situations in this duniya.

    Hope I answered ur question to some extent.

    Allah Hafiz

  4. As salamu alaikum!

    The way that I look at this question, is that although Allah Subhanahu wa Taala did not create 'male hoor' nor are they mentioned in Islam, we know that Jannah has in it things beyond whatever we can even imagine! My father told me that this means that whatever we can imagine on this earth, we can have, because the delights of jannah will outstrip these by far.

  5. Assalamu alakaykum sister, i watched this lecture of the sheikh on youtube aswell, women will get the same as men if they make it to jannah. I think you should not be worry about what you will get there, you should be worried about how to make it to jannah because its not easy to get there anyway and if you make it to jannah with Allahs mercy then you will get everything you wish anyway!!!!!!Always remember Allah is just 🙂 so for now just concentrate about your deen and how to improve your iman.....

  6. Who cares about beautiful men in Jannah , I want to ride dolphins and eat all the candy I want without gaining weight.lol

    • so very cute! I wish to be with my husband and of course eat candy/chocolate without getting sick or fat. Plus be able to sleep and not feel tired every day. Inshallah we will be happy the way we deserve to be if we forfill our duties in this world as Muslims.

  7. ;-)Senna work hard and I will get it
    May allah enter you into jannah firdaus

  8. Wa'alaykumsalam,

    Regarding 'hoor' ( or 'men' hoor ? ) for women, It is not true, there is no daleel. Well for one, men are made polygamous by nature as is in Qur'an with regards to marriage thus the similar rewards in jannah, unlike women. There are obviously many more reasons and wisdom behind it and Allah knows best. Those 'sheikhs' that lectures about women getting 'men hoor' is not true, so for now don't be influenced by this.

    You asked

    what is the reward for woman in Jannat.

    Allah said: "I have prepared for My pious servants things which have never been seen by an eye, nor heard by an ear, or (even) imagined by a human being." (Muslim)

    Subhana'Allah, we can't even IMAGINE jannah. Its like trying to understand infinity which is impossible.

    Allah said: "Allah hath prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward.”

    What more great rewards are there than meeting, looking and having pleasure of Allah, The Greatest.

    "Some faces that Day will be shining (radiant), Looking at their Rabb." [Al-Qiyamah 75:22-23]

    “Say, ‘Shall I bring your attention to things far better than those? For the righteous are gardens in nearness to their Lord,... and the good pleasure of Allah. For within Allah’s sight are all His servants ...–"
    (Surah Ali'-Imran, 15-17)

    “Allah has promised to believers, men and women, gardens under which rivers flow to dwell therein eternally and good homes in gardens of everlasting bliss. But the pleasure of Allah is greatest. That is the supreme triumph.” (Surah al Tawbah, 72)

    Other than this the rewards in jannah for both men and women are abundant and countless. Hoor is just a part of the bounties and blessings for men.

    Narrated Abdullah (ra):
    ‘I know the person who will be the last to come out of the Hellfire and the last to enter Jannah. He will be a man who will come out of the Hellfire crawling, and Allah will say to him, ‘Go and enter Jannah.” He will go to it, but will imagine that it has been filled, and then he will re turn and say, “Oh Lord, I have found it full.” Allah will say, “Go and enter Jannah, and you will have what equals the world and ten times as much (you will have as much as ten times the like of the world).” On that, the man will say, “Do you mock at me(laugh at me) though You are the King?” I saw Allah’s Messenger (SAW) (while saying that) smiling that his premolar teeth became visible. It is said that will be the lowest degreeamong the people of Jannah.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

    Prophet said: "By Allah, this world in comparison with the Hereafter is nothing more than as if one of you put his finger" - and he gestured with his forefinger - "in the sea; let him see how much water he would retrieve" [Saheeh Muslim].

    Allah is MOST just. He will not wrong anyone and everyone will be rewarded according to their deeds.

    Allah said: "If any do deeds of righteousness—be they male or female—and have faith, they will enter Heaven, and not the least injustice will be done to them." (An-Nisaa’ 4:124)

    Say: "Short is the enjoyment of this world: the Hereafter is (far) best for those who do right: Never will ye bedealt with unjustly in the very least! ( Quran 4:77 )

    "Whoever enters Paradise is blessed, and will never be miserable, his clothes will never wear out and his youth will never fade away." (Saheeh Muslim)

    “Enter them in peace, secure. And We will root out whatever of rancor is in their breasts-- (they shall be) as brethren, on raisedcouches, face to face. Toil shall not afflict them in it, nor shall they be ever ejected from it.” (Surah al Hijr, 45- 47)

    To conclude- Allah said: "They will have there all that their hearts desire and in which their eyes find delight. You will remain in it timelessly, forever. (Surat az-Zukhruf: 71)

    Subhana'Allah. Just imagine a perfect place that anything you wished for is granted.
    The peole of jannah may ask and ask and ask and ask and ask……..and ask…. And the Gracious Lord will multiply what they ask for and present it to them…. To such an extent, that it is narrated by the Prophet (saws) that there will come a time that the person will say He does not know what else to ask for ! And Allah from His Bounty will again multiply whatever the person has got and bestow it upon them! And this system of bliss will never end!

    For now, work on acheiving it and ignore any doubts about jannah or doubts about the rewards for men and women. Its a matter of unseen and Allah will reward everyone justly.

    There are even more descriptions of jannah and its rewards that can be found in Quran and hadith. May Allah make us the dwellers of Jannah. Ameen.

    • Assalaamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      The better thing to do is be silent on the subject and if anyone asks,

      http://quran.com/41/30-33

      You can't say for sure that they won't get hoor because you have no knowledge of such a thing. There is no daleel for, and no daleel against except what Allah willed.

      Silence is a blessing from Allah.

      • Wa Alaikum as Salam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuhu

        Brother Gibran, the understanding of the Sahaabah and their followers is enough daleel. There is no "Shubuhah" in this matter.

        Abu Abdul Bari
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I disagree with your statement that men were ''created'' polygamous. This is only a perception amongst Eastern civilizations where woman's sexuality was crushed and seen as evil. Whereas due to the freedoms the immoral West has to offer many women have proved that they are just as polygamous as men. This is exemplified by their similar cheating rates and similar number of partners over their lifetime. So I have to say I differ on your belief when it comes to this issue about men being created polygamous. Its just that society, historically being dominated by men, is more accepting of male sexuality.

      I have also read somewhere that the word 'Hoor-Al Ayn is genderless'... so some women with a high libido...Allah knows best what they will get. But know that Allah never disappoints his slaves and gives them what they desire in Jannah.

      But then again there is no daleel for whether they will get hoor or not. Allah u Alam.

      I think why the Quran and Hadith mention the Hoor is to make men do more good deeds so they will be attracted to Jannah and its rewards in exchange for all the cheap fun they have in this Dunya.
      This way they will be attracted to do more good deeds and earn more hasanat.
      Men are more visually stimulated and mention of 'beautiful women' tends to attract men more. And plus the Arabs of the Prophet[saw] had been i nto a lot of fornication and adultery prior to their conversion to Islam. So the mention of these hoors as rewards may have served the purpose of getting more and more men into becoming pious men.

      • Good comment !! Women are told to be with one man. If they behave like men(sexually) they are given bad names.
        Men and women are not that different sexually. It is society which forces women to hide their desires.

    • whenever, i read your comment wherever, i get depressed. there is hoor men for women in Jannah by the name of Rizwan. I heard this by an islamic man.

      • Secondly, editors should not allow scary pictures to out up in the profile box. Freaks me out. literally why do people enjoy scaring other people here

  9. Salaam

    My sister asked me this very question and we watched a video. Our understanding is that Hoor don't have a gender. So it got me thinking when i was driving my car and listening to the Quran where Allah says they are not touched by men or jinn.

    So i was thinking Jinn cant be with women right so Hoor cant be women or females just for men. They got to be something unique for both men to be with and jinn. Its complicated but if you get my logic they dont have gender. Anyway thats my opinion if anyone has more info please share.

    Thanks.

    • blue, We do not do ta'weel of the Quran and the Sunnah based on what people think and what our opinion is. We base our belief on the understanding of the Salaf as Saliheen. The view or opinion contrary to the one that they are women is only held by the "Mufakkireen" of today.

      Jinn touching women is something that even happens in this World. Out of Shahwah (lust) they possess a human being. This is a proven fact. And Hoor are a Creation of Allah, not from the progeny of Aadam Alaihis Salam. So keep away from such talks/videos 🙂

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. AsSalaamu Alaikum

    Sister Blue, were you referring to the following verse of the Holy Qur'an? فِيهِنَّ
    قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ لَمْ يَطْمِثْهُنَّ إِنْسٌ قَبْلَهُمْ وَلا جَانٌّ
    "In them will be (Maidens), chaste, restraining their glances, whom no man or Jinn before them has touched;-" (Quran 55 verse 56)

    If that is the verse you were talking about, then Allah did not say in it that " they are not touched by men or jinn" but He rather said " Whom no man or Jinn before them has touched" which means that they are just fresh Creation and no Man or Jinn has ever touched them before Jannah, so touching them in Jannah was the first touch to them.

    As to if women will also have beautiful men in Jannah, actually there are no proof that they will not have such men in Jannah, but there are many proofs that everyone (male or female) who enters Jannah will have anything they wish for. Allah says: " There will be for them therein all that they wish, - and more besides in Our Presence." (Quran 50 verse 35) And He says again: Verily the Companions of the Garden shall that Day have joy in all that they do, They and their associates will be in groves of (cool) shade, reclining on Thrones (of dignity); (Every) fruit (enjoyment) will be there for them; they shall have whatever they call for; (Quran 36 verse 55-57).

    So the above verses indicate that, everyone will have all that they wish for in Jannah, and that will be according to what pleases each one. So what then will prevent a good practicing Muslim woman from having beautiful many men in Jannah if that is what will please her? Also there will be no logic in saying that, because women were not allowed to marry more than one man in the world, so will they be unable to have multiple men in Jannah. If that is the case, then Alcohol is prohibited in the world but its kind will be Halaal and available for those who will enter Jannah, and there is no proof in the Holy Quran nor in the Haddeths, that says a kind of beautiful multiple men will never be Halaal and available for best women who will enter Jannah. The fact that, Allah did not mention it is not a proof that women will never have many men in Janna, so we should rather say as far as we know Allah did not mention it, but we don't know if He will grant women that or not. As Allah The Almighty, is capable of doing all things.

    However, the question here for women is that, if women will be honest to say the truth in this matter, is it in their nature that, they want beautiful many men in their lives together at the same time, as it is clear in the nature of men, that they may want have more than one beautiful woman at the same time.

    Beauty is not the best priority that a woman looks for in a man, a woman knows the type of characteristics that she wants in a man, and if she finds them in a particular poor man, she really will not care about other men regardless of their beauty and richness. And usually a woman with just one Man in her life whom she loved and thinks he has got all that she wants, never thinks of having other men; she will rather find her other pleasures in other many things beyond having multiple men.
    You may sense what I am talking about from what Sister Senna said above. She said: "Who cares about beautiful men in Jannah , I want to ride dolphins and eat all the candy I want without gaining weight.lol"

    So when Allah, The Perfectly Wise, He who has wisdom in all order and actions, mentioned that, there will be many beautiful women for Men in Jannah, He knows why, and He knows what He created in Men. And He knows what they would like to hear and what they would wish to have. And He knows what He created in Women, and He knows what they would wish to have… And to my understanding-Allah knows best- if women in their nature would want to have many men at one time, or if hearing that would even sound as something motivating to them, Allah could have mentioned it for them. But women seem different from men in terms of this context.

    However, I personally may challenge that they are women out there who want to have more than one best man in their lives at the same time. Please Sisters prove me wrong if I am not right. Though, I agree that some women can sometimes be curious about some particular things that are for men, and may even think of trying such things out of curiosity, and which are actually not part of their best priorities at all.

    So finally, I will say both Men and Women should pray and do well until they get to Jannah by the Mercy of Allah, and Insha'Allah each one (Male or Female) will find all that pleases him or her in Jannah, Insha'Allah. As Brother Wael stated above " Allah says, "Whoever does righteous acts, whether male or female, while he is a believer, verily, to him We will give a good life, and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do." - Quran, [16:97]"

    May Allah grant us Jannah!!!

    Hope this helps Insha'Allah, and Allah knows best.

  11. Salam,

    When I read about men having hoors if they reach jannah just seems that it is an extension of what they already enjoy in life such as four wives and being able to marry other woman other then muslims. It just seems that mens ultimate desire is beautiful woman. I just thought that there will be different unimaginable greater things in heaven then just the usual men and women desire which we already have in this world. Allah knows best.

    Brother when you say that women would prefer more character then many beautiful men and men prefer beautiful women you are somehow making men look so shallow. Like men are using women as an object whilst women love men for their inner beauty of good characteristics.

    It is not always true that only men desire many women and women desire one man. I have seen many women who desire other men or would love to have more men but they do not cross their limits as they want to be loyal to their husbands and also most importantly they are not allowed more then one husband islamically so they will diminish these thoughts from their heart. They will not persue something that is forbidden.

    Thats why there are many women who have affairs because one men isn't enough. Its not just men. Or they desire others but have to struggle hard to control their nafs.

    But men are allowed to have more women so they can persue these thoughts. Just because women are not allowed to do something does not mean that they are incapable of it or do not desire it. Everyone desires more enjoyment in life be it men or woman, wealth or power etc etc, but we have to live within the boundrys of Islam and control our nafs.

    • I agree with you sister. Plus i always get this feeling that women are always objectified whether in this world or even in the case of hoors. And even the women of the world would be beautified and married to those men in jannah. Ultimately its a win win situation for men. Why cant women in jannah not have 2 male hoors (since Allah is the most just and i believe there must be make hoors)? The world of jannah will be entirely different from duniyah anyways. I never got a satisfying answer to these questions and these questions in my head prove to be one of the greatest trials for me since i am a hardcore feminist

  12. Humans are made to worship Allah and Allah alone and that is our purpose in life. This should be enough for us to listen to the commandments of Allah and never transgress from our path. However, humans do not listen so easily and Allah swt, in His Great Mercy sent us the Quran with reassurances and warnings about what path we should remain on-seeraatul mustaqeem-. The thing is I think it is okay for man or woman to wonder what they will get in Jannah--esp when Allah has mentioned what he has in store--I mean, obvsiouly Allah knew we would want to hear that because of human nature. Furthermore, even Hazrat Ibrahim AS wanted to know how Allah give life and Allah asked "Do you not believe", and to this Hazrat Ibrahim AS replied, Yes, but it is to put my heart to ease.

    We are NO WHERE near any prophets and yet even they asked such questions--such is the way of the human heart and us sinners of our time, Allah forgive us and be gentle with us, we do want to know so much, especially about Jannah--so I do not think we can say to anyone "Do you even know that you will get there?" SubhanAllah, the Prophet pbuh was always very gentle in his answers to even those who wanted to transgress and do zina and explained to one man, would you want someone to do that to your mother or sister...It brings tears to my eyes to imagine how he was able to speak with such eloquence and bring ease to the hearts of so many. SubhanAllah.

    As for what we do or do not get in Jannah, if Allah says we get what we desire, then I believe Him. I do not think we should put a limit on this for anyone, because we do not know the desires of people, but Allah DOES! What is the nature of man vs. woman--well, even Allah tells women to lower their gaze--it is just that Allah protects women and keeps information about them hidden. I suppose, women do not want to hear what they will be given, if Allah did not mention it, especially by men.

    Imagine the woman who stays in a marriage for the sake of her family only to hear that she will end up with her husband in Jannah--imagine that she has no love for him, lack of chemistry and suffers but sacrifices and makes all sorts of compromises in this life only to know that her husband will be among hoors in the next world--It can be disturbing and make her feel there is no justice. There are so many situations that we don't know about and we can't imagine, but Allah not only knows of these deeply but knows of each one of our pain and in fact the collective pain of all of His creations! So rather, I would say, we know these are the few things that Allah will give us, and the rest are not mentioned.

    AND OF COURSE, it will be beyond anything to just be in His presence, our Creator, the Master of the Universe, that will certainly be an AWESOME day! May Allah give us patience to work towards Jannah, give us wisdom to always do our best and give us determination so that we never ever give up. Ameen!

    • 🙂 Sister,

      We should not be speaking of the matters of Ghayb, except with knowledge about it.

      If Ibrahim Alaihis Salam questioned, he asked how? and not why? And he was a Prophet of Allah, talking to Him. We are not asking this question to Allah.

      Let us work for the Jannah and rest assured that if Allah Gives you Jannah, then you won't be displeased in the slightest. Let us make ourselves worth such a great Reward and trust in Allah.

      Allah Knows what we would desire. He is al 'Allamul Ghuyoob. He Has accordingly prepared the rewards. No one would go against the nature.
      So, instead of arguing about what we do not know of the unseen, let us concentrate on Worshiping Allah in the way He and His Rasool have taught us. May Allah Grant us success. Aameen.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I think you should take your own advice before boldly declaring what women will for certain not be given in the hereafter. All of these descriptions are to entice believers to what is good. What the nature of our rewards will truly be lies with Allah SWT alone. May Allah forgive you for the countless women who have stumbled across your humanly opinion on there hereafter, and left discouraged and feeling as if their wants and desires are considered secondary to those of men.

    • mashallah sister! May Allah SWT bless you, I couldn't say it any better. Allahu akbar. May Allah grant us all Jannah inshallah. I would say that if its in a man's nature to desire so much women ect We are also aware that it is in their nature to accept the thought of his one of his women being with another man. The hikmaah behind Allah's words is so great and I would agree on what you said that he wouldn't want to reveal the ultimate desires of a woman. Just imagine how men will feel if they heard such thing (again its in their gheerah nature).

      What will be will be inshallah. We trust and confide in him and will never let us down, that is my faith alhamdulilah.
      Its not about just accepting it as some mufasreen urge the women to do or shut them up by saying just focus on getting there or by saying what will be greater than seeing lord. Im sure its great for us to look forward in meeting our creater be it man or women. BUT one thing we should remind ourselves is that we all interprete things differently and words differently, to prove this is just 4 madaheeb we (4 school of thoughts) and it is said that 'ikhitalaf is rahma'.
      All is wise and all knowing, especially in the style and the words ALlah used in the Quran, the hikmah is so great behind it. Allah created us with a mind inorder to seek knowledge and also think for ourselves, therefore I will never allow any man or woman influence me with their thoughts because Allah gifted me with a mind of my own to utilise my logic, the main purpose anyway which everyone tends to forget is that we were created to worship Allah, I do not care who is right and who is wrong in their answers. Allah knows whats in y heart, as long as my Love is so strong for him and outweighs any other love, im satisfied, as long as I do good deeds and give charity that makes me rewarded spiritually and know deep down im satisfying my creator. Its normal to have sexual urges and diferent desire no matter how kinky they might seem.
      I dislike how so many people potray men shallow and claim that in their nature they ultimate desire is women and more women. oh c'mon if some men are like that well alright but lets not speak for others. There is more to Jannah that mankind can enjoy apart from sex and dont tell me all men desire sex the most. Each and everyone is different that why Allah all mighty created us with different minds and free will.
      As we all know everything that is haram in the dunya excites everyone, so when men pile up all these sexual desire (even women do) its all about restraining oneself for the sake of Allah and thats why so many men just keep thinking about sex, it stems from the restraint they endure, women alike. We are in this world to obey Allah and to worship him.
      The after life is great topic which is debated but we cannot speak of the unseen, im sure Allah has wonders in store for us inshallah may we all make it there inshallah.

  13. Assalamualikum

    I am giving thanx to my respectable editor and my brothers and sisters who give me beautiful responses.
    I just want to get Jannatul Ferdous nd want to rely on my almighty Allah. I just passing a difficult time in my personal life.Please pray for me, pray for my baby. May allah forgive all of us and save us from all sinfull works.

    • Jazakillahu Khair Ukhti, May Allah ease your problems and give you Sabr to face the difficulties. May He enable you to walk upon the Sunnah and May He Grant you al Jannatal Firdaus.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. Salam, I hope everyone is reading this in good health I am really lost and confused since i feel like a "muslim" by name My famiy and i are moderate muslims we arent big on being around other muslims who we consider very judgementmental we dont pray as often as we should we feel more american than arab living in the states
    Anyhow my main problem now is i am suffering major depression i dont know why it just happend out the blue 4 months ago and since then i been questioning Allah and sometimes i know its wrong to say this but i dont believe he exists i know shame on me for thinking that but sometimes i think why am i being punished when i been through alot of hard times in my life that no one can imagine also i been patient for years also i feel the holy quran favors men i mean they can have more than wife they can marry a non muslim woman and islam seems to be fair on women if we have to marry a muslim man so should a muslim man as well and having four wives you will be happy in the bedroom and a muslim woman gets stuck with one muslim man that isnt fair in my eyes also why doesnt Allah stop bad things from happening to innocent people

    • This is the problem with majority of the Ummah. They forget prayers and what Allah Commands them to do, and they raise their finger at Islam and its laws, without understanding them. You are absolutely wrong about men being favored. Islam has always treated women equally. If you have a problem with polygamy for men, it does not become wrong. Allah Created us as He Did and He Made laws for us to follow. It is your duty to "just hear and obey", whether you understand His Wisdom or you don't.

      I advise you to mingle with practicing Muslims and learn Islam. I urge you to stop doing Kufr by doubting Allah and by abandoning prayers. Leaving prayer is Kufr as the Ahaadeeth say. Be a Muslim, save yourself and your family from the blazing fire.

      If you have any other question, please post it separately.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Your questions need a new thread because its interesting. For a quick answer, If Allah was never really a part of your life then why blame Him ? The problem is within yourself and so you have to step up and attain salvation. Allah will not change your condition untill you change whats in your heart. If you were ungratefull to Allah of the good in your life then you have no right to be angry at Allah when bad happens. I believe you are in a state of loss, but the good news is that, the solution of your problem is in the Quran. But first learn about Islam and pray your daily prayers and without prayers, whose blessings or mercy or help are you waiting for ? Ask Allah of help through prayers (salat). Once and for all abandon the american culture and bad doings and start following the Islamic culture ( Quran and sunnah ) and you'll find peace insha'Alllah.

      Secondly you ask about men having four wifes and why woman only one, have you ever thought of this issue intelligently ? Have you ever considered of how women life would turn out emotionally, physically, mentally, psychology etc should she have multiple husbands ? Have you considered of how parenting would be like ? Or did your view point/opinion come from the narrow minded media/people or anti-islamic people ? (if you've thought of this issue itelligently and thus your conclusion then no offence) Surely commonsense would see the obvious problem regarding women with multiple husbands. Or did you just thought of physical acheivment ? Because basically, you said 'men will be happy in the bed room'. If physical needs is the basis of your opinion then know that if a woman is in a multiple marriage then she will be physically drained and stressed. She will have a torturous life because physically her body will wear out. For example, she will have to fulfill the needs of upto four men, possibly almost everyday, once she is pregnant then other husbands would have to wait till she deliver or else cause trouble, she would get pregnant over and over and over again after every 9 months most probably (reaching 20 kids 🙁 ), taking care of the family of each husbands, child confusion of who got her pregnant etc etc etc (its a laughing matter to hear all the disadvantages involve. Sorry) what would people call her ? Her life would indeed be destroyed. Would you like to be in this situation ? This is the wisdom of Allah and more. His wisdom is uncomparable and so whenever these satan's whispers comes to mind, ignore them. Sometimes, our intelligence, common sense etc gets covered by our ignorance or gets covered by the society's trolls (Islamphobes).

      Just start making friends with good muslimah and not corrupted muslims or non muslims.

      • Great answer brother ali. I always thought about polygamy for women as you do but i could never put it in words as perfectly as you have done. Jazakallah Khair

      • A salamu alikom Ali ib abd allah,

        well in Jannah it states we wont be tired and only have kids if we want to. Therefore you don't know if pologmy will be the case for women or not in jannah, it could be one of her desires( and no Allah will not reprogram a woman's mind to just see her husband), if she desires another man or what ever it is her desire between Allah and her self to fullfiil. Just because its not mentioned doesn't mean it wont happen later on. Allah's hikmah is so great subhnallah. Just Imagine YoU as a man reading that, what will you gheerah turn to, again i can turn round to you and say 'no jelousy will be in jannah just to shut you up as some men say to women to shut them up.
        Women's desires are not explicit (could be more than one desire) therfore Allah has kept them hidden.
        Men unlike women are found to be very explicit so they were given just glimpse of 1 of the prepared things for them in Jannah.
        Allah knows best.

        • Maryam, Your words seems like whatever is sin here in this world is not a sin in heaven .You can sleep with any one ,desire for any thing (what if desires are so bad like child molestation etc ) . I don't think you are understanding it correctly .There might be proper system there which Allah knows the best .

    • Really sister. ..iwas very very religious but i lost my faith in all religion cause from childhood i always gave respect for justice equality loyalty. ...but after completing my quran and hadith I found discrimination with women ..if quran is for all mankind why there is injustice. ...and why there is slave which is halaal for men to have sex with....so many questions in my mind can't explain here....why no verse for hijras (third gender).slavery is halaal for ta qayaamat....

      • I do not believe that sex with slaves is permissible in Islam. You will not find that in the Quran. I suggest that you ignore some patriarchal or cultural interpretations of the Quran that don't make sense. Read the Quran and the Sunnah for what they are, and you will find that they are beautiful and full of good advice for humanity. There is no reason to lose your faith.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • sister with slaves its only halal after the nikkah??? i am not sure . you can ask this question on facebook, there is a page: Understanding Islam Foundation - UIF.

        the admin is Qasim Ali. he can answer you i am sure

  15. here is my islamic question, will we get the woman in heaven whom we loved too much in world but gets married to another woman in world. will she be with her husband or with the true lover?

  16. Salam

    you wrote:

    here is my islamic question, will we get the woman in heaven whom we loved too much in world but gets married to another woman in world. will she be with her husband or with the true lover?

    Married is married. And if you enter cennah your husband will be beautiful then you lover.
    Lover? Do you have an affair ? Why don't you have married your lover?
    The true love thing is something that the devil shows us. Truly we don't love them and get happy.

    And it sounds very strage for that a woman has two men or for homosexual people that they get the same gender....But Allah knows best.

    But the hoors are nothing which can be changed to Gods love. Therefore hoors will not be needed...

  17. All i know it is clearly written in Quran, in jannah you can have everything you desire, it will be infront of you so why not a male hoor? is it impossible for Allah or do you people think the meaning of verse is about food, dresses or jewelry...................... only?
    and mr Abdul Bari i have read half of your speech, you are asking the woman how she is so much sure of entering the jannah now i put the same question to you and secondly how can you be so sure you will get the hoor, the hoors will be for martyr or very very pious men not people like you do you think that actor shahrukh khan, amir khan or singer amr diab will be having fun with the hoors who are considered as marasis and kanjars in this world?

    • it has never been described in Quran what the guardians have written in the article is the clear indication of their cheap thinking.

      you will get hoors as partners i guess i dont know further and Allah has never described any sexual stupid guardian material in Quran.

      Astagfirullah and curse on the writer who wrote such filthy material , thank God he died

      any YOU i ask you to stop reading such kind of filthy articles, have a nice day

      • I deleted the comment in question because I found it distasteful. But sister, you need to moderate your tone. There is no need to curse the dead, or call people animals, stupid, etc. You can disagree without being abusive.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Do not think that Bollywood Actor Amir Khan is very happy in this world. Though he has so much money, yet he has a great problem & anybody can understand that problem just by looking at him. Because of that problem Amir Khan has to be much more patient. And those humans who have patience will be rewarded without calculation.

  18. Thanks for clarifying.
    So is it wrong when people say that couples are made in heaven?

  19. They will get nothing of this sort. As we are nothing everything is for men. They are superior to us here and they will remain superior in jannah. We were just made for bearing children.
    I Hate being a woman !!

    • Sorry, but this is nonsense. Men are not superior to women in Islam or in reality; nor are they superior in Jannah. Women were created by Allah with dignity, honor and independent spirits, just like men. In some ways women are revered more than men, and play a more important role in society. Also, while men are generally physically stronger, women often have greater endurance.

      If society treats women like inferiors, that is the fault of society, and something that needs to be fixed.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Then why are we told to be obedient wives? We can't even go out without our husband's permission. Husbands are allowed to beat us. They can marry without our consent. In surah yaseen it is clearly mentioned that men are superior than women. Two womens' testimony is equal to one man. N in quran it is mentioned that you want sons for yourselves but for Allah you say angels are His daughters(naudbillah). I.e sons are better than daughters.

        • Men and women have different roles in Islam. While the wife should be obedient in all things halal, the husband should be kind, respectful, providing and protective. These are not superior and inferior roles, just different.

          I do not agree that husbands are allowed to beat wives. In fact, the Prophet Muhammad (sws) specifically told men not to beat their wives, and he never did so himself.

          The Quran does not say that men are superior to women, it says that men are given a degree beyond women, which only means that they are given the role of head of the family. Every organization needs an amir or a head to run smoothly. In Islam this is the husband's role, and it's not an easy one. The woman's role - rearing the children and protecting the privacy of the home - is no less important.

          Two women's testimony is equal to one man because the woman might be pressured by a man to alter her testimony, and Allah knows best.

          Your last point is a criticism directed by Allah to the pre-Islamic Arabs. It does not validate their point of view.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • It is clearly mentioned in Quran that husbands can beat their wife.
            It is really difficult to be obedient your whole life. Especially when your husband is of entirely different personality. We women have our own wishes and want to live our life.

            So can't two women be pressured to change their mind ?
            No credit is given to women for taking care of children or doing house chores instead they are told that what do you whole day ??

            I have not seen many hadiths or quranic ayahs forcing men to be good to women as compared to hadiths n ayas forcing women to be obedient.
            You say men are not superior in islam ? Then tell me
            1. Why men can marry without father's permission but a girl can't marry without wali's permission

            2. Husband can divorce directly but wife has to follow the process of khula.

            3. If husband dies(God forbid) woman is told to abstain from bright colors, henna, perfume n surma to show her grief during iddah. But men are free to even marry on that very day.

            4. Woman can't travel without a mehram.
            And list goes on and on......
            P.s i am extremely obedient and submissive wife, i have never argued with my husband even if he is wrong. And i have completly changed myself for him but this whole process is extremely painful and really hurts one's self respect.

          • It is clearly mentioned in Quran that husbands can beat their wife.

            No, it is not. - Wife Beating in Islam

            So can't two women be pressured to change their mind?

            Sure, it could happen, but it's much less likely that two separate witnesses would be pressured to testify falsely.

            Why men can marry without father's permission but a girl can't marry without wali's permission

            Because women - young women especially - are the ones who fall in love with unscrupulous men who want to take advantage of them, whether to take advantage of them sexually, or for their money, or for immigration purposes. We see this all the time on this website. Young girls tend to be more easily manipulated than boys in this regard.

            No credit is given to women for taking care of children or doing house chores instead they are told that what do you whole day ??

            That's a personality issue and has nothing to do with Islam. If your husband doesn't give you credit for raising the children and caring for the house, then he is a dummy. Most likely he never saw his father thanking or appreciating his mother, so he behaves like him. Try not doing any chores or cooking any food for a few days. I'm sure he'll notice the difference then!

            Husband can divorce directly but wife has to follow the process of khula.

            I don't know the answer to this but my guess is that it's because the husband pays mahr at the time of marriage, and he supports the wife financially. If a wife could initiate talaq, she could take a sizeable mahr and divorce the man right away, which would be unjust. Allah knows best.

            If husband dies(God forbid) woman is told to abstain from bright colors, henna, perfume n surma to show her grief during iddah. But men are free to even marry on that very day.

            This is true. IslamWeb.net says about this, "A husband is not obliged to mourn his wife but a wife needs to mourn her husband since mourning prevents men from having an interest in her. If she adorns and beautifies herself men may become attracted to her, which may lead to marriage before completing the waiting period and could result in the mixing of lineages if she is pregnant by her deceased husband, which is forbidden. This is one reason for the legislation of the waiting period for a woman whose husband has died. On the other hand, a husband does not need to mourn his wife since if he marries right after the death of his wife it can not lead to the mixing of lineages."

            So the mourning period is the equivalent of an 'iddah to be sure the wife is not pregnant.

            Woman can't travel without a mehram.

            Essentially true, since a woman traveling alone is more vulnerable than a man traveling alone. But there are exceptions, as you can read here: Woman Traveling Without Mahrem

            It sounds to me like your marriage dynamic is unhealthy. That is not because of Islam, but because of personality issues involving your husband, I suspect. You might consider couples counseling so that the two of you can learn to communicate, and perhaps your husband can learn to respect and appreciate you. Also, you might consider not trying to "completely change" yourself, but rather hold your ground on some issues and demand respect. There are men who will walk all over a woman if she allows it. So don't allow it.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Salam Zara,

          If you feel that Allah is being unjust and the men are getting more than women then there is nothing preventing you from becoming a man when rewards are handed out and then turning back into a woman and changing the gender of your rewards. After all, Allah says you can have whatever you ask for.

          This verse points out that women have similar rights as to what is expected of them:
          http://quran.com/2/228

          "Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in this [period] if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise."

          In any group one person should lead. If there are two leaders it leads to the division of the group. For example, in America, the divorce rate is 50%, both men and women try to lead. The woman is expected to work and bring in just as much as the man. People are focused on being independent and both want to lead, some are so focused on their careers or their education that they cannot compromise for the relationship. When neither is willing to compromise they divorce.

          Allah is clearly defining the roles, the charge of earning and providing is on the man. Just as you hate being a woman and covet what you think men get, there are men that covet the role of a woman. Jobs are dead ends, men work 45 years for a company and when they retire they mean nothing to company. The company will not help them in their old age, or provide love, or be there for them in the hospital. But kids will do that, and who had the God given right to be with them all the time?

          The women get to enjoy both what the husband provides and get to spend time with the children and create a stronger bond. When the kids reach maturity the women get to retire and those kids come back and are willing to take care of her. So there are many men that see this and wish that they could have what women have in terms of the bond and in terms of responsibility.

          If you think it is unfair that wives are obedient to their husbands then consider that men work under other men or women and are expected to be obedient. And those bosses do not have love for them the way they love their wives. And I would say, here again, men lose. Allah asks for obedience from all of us and from the moment we are born we are placed under someone's care who asks for obedience. We move from obeying parents, to teachers, to bosses, and if you're the boss then it's customers and investors. So if you want to escape obedience, there really is no good escape.

          I hope you feel better about the Quran. It's just this life Zara, inshallah you'll pass this test and then pick the gender you want. And why stop there, you can choose to be a different being for a while as well, there's an infinite amount of time in the afterlife, might as well try everything out.

          • Salam Zara,

            I like these questions:
            1. Why men can marry without father's permission but a girl can't marry without wali's permission

            - Men can't marry without your father's permission either, so they are equivalently screwed. The permission is because a father is charged with the responsibility of caring for the daughter and he is now transferring it to the man that claims he can handle it. If mothers were charged with providing for guys then guys would similarly need permission from their mothers before getting married of to their
            wives which would have had to provide for them while they stayed home. Guys still need permission from the family of the girl they are marrying.

            2. Husband can divorce directly but wife has to follow the process of khula.
            - The guy is also involved in that process. It's not like one can drop a wife without issue.
            http://legacy.quran.com/65:
            "O Prophet, when you [Muslims] divorce women, divorce them for [the commencement of] their waiting period and keep count of the waiting period, and fear Allah , your Lord. Do not turn them out of their [husbands'] houses, nor should they [themselves] leave [during that period] unless they are committing a clear immorality. And those are the limits [set by] Allah . And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah has certainly wronged himself. You know not; perhaps Allah will bring about after that a [different] matter."

            So the girl gets to hang out for three cycles in her husbands house. He can't ask her to leave and she can't leave herself. There is no way a guy isn't involved in the divorce process.

            3. If husband dies(God forbid) woman is told to abstain from bright colors, henna, perfume n surma to show her grief during iddah. But men are free to even marry on that very day.

            Yes there is a waiting term for women but again the guy is meant to be a provider and again it works both ways. If the guy wanted that widowed woman he can't have her and has to wait. If the guy gets married there is another woman that gains the benefit of provision. Also, it's not like guys are waiting for their wives to die and are heartless that they would marry right after the funeral.

            4. Woman can't travel without a mehram.

            - I don't have a ruling from the Quran saying that this is true but it makes sense.

            In general there is one concept that will help in understanding all this. Guys are charged with taking care of women and Allah has provided them means to do this. Women can get pregnant. If a guy lets his wife/daughter out without a Mehram and she gets raped then it's not the rapist that gets pregnant. It's the woman that gets pregnant. If that rapist had low enough morals to commit rape there isn't a great chance that he will step up and take care of the woman or the baby. The current wali, father or husband, is going to deal with the pregnancy. So a simple solution is to protect your wife/daughter. Go with her when she goes out. Ask her not to go out without him, and here's where obedience comes in, if she's disobedient goes out and gets pregnant then it sucks for the Wali. Also obviously for the woman too cause rape is not a game.

            Oh one thing, you either really dislike Islam or you don't have a great husband and he's a little too controlling. Happens to men too, they get a job and the boss is awful so they quit and get a different job. When it happens to women they divorce and hope for better. The cost is higher but similar ramifications. Hopefully your situation will improve if that's what it is.

          • These are good points.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  20. awesome response brother Wael!!

    hope the feminists here agree to logic...

  21. Allah swt is the wisest , He knows truly what every word of his means. We humans cannot understand the deepness and secrets of his plans. We are limited , so we should noot approach to criticism on such things that we donot understand. Rather we shuld seek more knowledge from Allah swt .

  22. walekum M ..

    i know why these restrictions are on women.. my point is simple women are not equal to men in all religions and societies... and thats why i just hate being woman and wish i was a man. and to further explain why i feel this way you can read this:

    One of the men from the Helpers (Ansar) went on a trip and ordered his wife not to leave the house until he returned home. Her father got ill while her husband was away. She sent a messenger to the Prophet (S.A.W.) asking him if she could visit her father. The Prophet (S.A.W.) replied that she should obey her husband and stay at home. Her father got worse and she sent another message but received the same reply. Her father passed away and she sent another messenger to go and pray for her father, but she received the same reply. They buried her father but the woman stayed at home. The Prophet (S.A.W.) sent a messenger to her and he said that God forgave you and your father for obeying your husband.

    • I m not sure this hadith is authentic or no ..there are various classifications ..some are zaeef hadiths ..please remember that there are various events which had particular context and cant not be generally applied ...for example there are verses in Quran which talks about fighting with kaafirs ..these verses are for that particular context like war etc and not for all the normal time .in normal time killing innocent kaafir is sin ...so you need to study in depth to understand ...there is saying called half knowledge is dangerous

    • Salam Zara,

      The good news is that you can ask to be a man in heaven. It may be another day for you before that happens or perhaps another 50 years. Either way you will only be a woman for a limited number of days and every day fewer days remain.

      In the meantime I recommend trying to be more grateful for what you've been given. You have been shown the right path, the end of this path is that you can have whatever you ask. And the trials you see in this life are opportunities for you to gain more there. The injustices you see in this world are opportunities for you gain reward by correcting them. Whatever you do you can say to yourself that you do this for Allah and perhaps it will bring you closer to Allah.

      I think this marriage and perhaps your father has been a trial for you. It seems to be building up resentment against Allah for you. I recommend watching the resentment. There is no benefit in obeying to the point that you generate so much resentment that you no longer believe and end up in hell. Try to do as much good as you can but if you're resentment is building up too much take a break.

      When you read the hadith or the Quran and you find yourself thinking that Allah is unjust to women then remember that this life is temporary and Allah is never unjust to his slaves. If you had been a man then Allah would still put you through trials:

      http://legacy.quran.com/2/214
      "Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near."

      The other thing is Allah has placed rules so that it is fair to women and men. In the hadith you quoted Allah has provided that woman with the option of divorce. If her husband was such a tyrant, that woman could've asked for divorce and helped her father. And I don't see any rule that would've caused her to been placed in hell for doing that.

      Similarly Allah has provided rules for you and it is better to take advantage of them then lose faith. If you feel that this marriage is destroying you and your Islam then perhaps it is time to end it.

      One other thing, the men in hell will feel pain just as the women in hell will. And had you been born a man perhaps Allah would've tried you by marrying you to a woman that divorced you, took your house, your car, your kids, and held you responsible for alimony payments worth 75% of your salary. Leaving you with a small apartment and heartbreak. So whether you are a man or a woman the trials will be there. I wish you well Zara, I hope you remain a believer. If you have more injustices you see you're welcome to point them out.

      • Women are also weaker physically?
        Will they be weaker in heaven too?

        • Salam Helper,

          In heaven you can have whatever you ask for. So if you want to ask to remain female but be physically stronger you can. There are women in this world that weight lift and are 6+ feet tall that are physically stronger than men now. You could ask to have a body similar to them if you wish.

          Other than that though, the ability to ask for whatever you wish and Allah's capability of doing anything creates numerous opportunities. You can run three conversations simultaneously with 3 instant message clients at the same time. What if instead of instant message clients you asked to control three different bodies. Could you then run three bodies at the same time? What if you wanted the ability to change your form into anything just by thinking about it, couldn't you ask for that then? In fact the Quran does state:

          http://legacy.quran.com/56/58-64

          56:61
          Sahih International
          In that We will change your likenesses and produce you in that [form] which you do not know.

          So the important thing isn't your current body since that can be changed, it's the person that's in the body and whether they are good or bad. Allah could have made us all one gender, and examples of this exist in other creation, but the differences and different abilities provide a way for us to be tested and for us to help one another and gain good deeds. If you are weak in one area then you can help through another way and you have what Allah has given you.

          So I wouldn't think of the female body as being lesser than a male body. It's just a form given to test you for this life, and what matters is who you become. Whatever you have in this life is temporary, and death is inevitable, but you can transfer good deeds and worship of Allah to the next life and you can improve as a person.

          Anyway, this is what I think based on what I've read of the Quran. If anyone has corrections please chime in. I hope this helps.

          • This is a good answer.
            But what if a woman wants to become male in heaven forever but her husband wants her to stay female. Won't it result in a fight?

          • This all part of the realm of al-ghayb. No human being has the answers to these questions. No one can tell you how interpersonal relationships will work in Jannah. We only know that it is a place of comfort, bliss and satisfaction. It has gardens, rivers, trees, food and drink, cities and families. Any more than that we do not know. We know only what Allah and His Messenger (sws) have told us.

            This earth is one world, with its own rules and principles. Jannah is another world, another plane of existence. We should focus our efforts on achieving Jannah in the first place, Insha'Allah, then we can learn its rules and make our lives there.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Salam Helper,

            What Wael said is true, the rules are significantly different. Our questions are based on the reality of this life and many of our questions have no basis in the afterlife.

            I can think of different ways to resolve conflict when two people want different things and I am not Allah. So I figure Allah must already have your questions and their solutions.

            For your question, what if that husband was provided with a twin of the woman he was married to, would that work? What if he was assigned his own reality where things worked the way he thought they should and his wife was assigned her own? What if he was provided with a woman that was more compatible and more desirable than his wife, would he care then?

            In the Quran Allah says:

            http://legacy.quran.com/3/14-15

            Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.

            Say, "Shall I inform you of [something] better than that? For those who fear Allah will be gardens in the presence of their Lord beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and purified spouses and approval from Allah . And Allah is Seeing of [His] servants -

            So Allah is placing what can be obtained in the life of this world beneath what can be obtained in the life of the hereafter. There you can get purified spouses.

            Also considering the purpose of this life is a test and Allah wants us to grow in purity, providing a spouse that is 100% compatible and never ages or changes does not accomplish giving a test or causing the person to grow. So my thought is that the spouses we are given now are not necessarily the best for having a good time forever, but they may be the best for us to grow or gain good deeds.

            Then also consider:

            http://legacy.quran.com/12/31

            So when she heard of their scheming, she sent for them and prepared for them a banquet and gave each one of them a knife and said [to Joseph], "Come out before them." And when they saw him, they greatly admired him and cut their hands and said, "Perfect is Allah ! This is not a man; this is none but a noble angel."

            Did the women mentioned not love their husbands? If Allah can create someone so attractive to us then we may very well choose those purified spouses over our own worldly spouse and we would not fault our spouses of this world for getting their own purified spouse.

            I hope this helps. Salam.

          • If heaven is a completely different place then why do we comfort the oppressed or poor people that they will get everything of this world there. For example sports cars and all the enjoyment a of this life. I know the enjoyments of Heaven will be far superior but still those people would have missed these things.
            Also people from the hundreds of years ago wouldn't even know of sports cars. They probably wouldn't understand what it is if they see someone driving one in heaven.

      • Salam Question,

        I should mention that I'm not a scholar, I'm just muslim. I don't have a desire for burning in hell by misguiding people, so corrections are most welcome.

        I don't think there is anything preventing those in heaven from asking for what they missed here. Or if they don't know what they missed here, asking what happened in the world after they died and then asking to try things. I think many will do that just in the course of getting to know their descendants.

        Also in the life of this world it may seem things are uneven but it is a test, and it is temporary, and what we gain in the afterlife is based on our endeavor:
        http://legacy.quran.com/20/15
        Sahih International
        Indeed, the Hour is coming - I almost conceal it - so that every soul may be recompensed according to that for which it strives.

        The limited time here goes towards our compensation. It may seem that the rich man driving his sports car is better off but he just traded his time for temporary happiness. That time does not come back. The poor man that endured, believed and did good deeds during the same time sold his time for more.

        And Allah wishes for us the eternal rewards over temporary happiness:
        http://legacy.quran.com/8/67:
        Shakir
        It is not fit for a prophet that he should take captives unless he has fought and triumphed in the land; you desire the frail goods of this world, while Allah desires (for you) the hereafter; and Allah is Mighty, Wise.

        And Allah encourages us to stay on track and not get depressed by comparing:

        http://legacy.quran.com/20/131:
        Shakir
        And do not stretch your eyes after that with which We have provided different classes of them, (of) the splendor of this world's life, that We may thereby try them; and the sustenance (given) by your Lord is better and more abiding.

        And to help us get over what we missed:
        http://legacy.quran.com/57/21-23:

        ***
        Sahih International
        Race toward forgiveness from your Lord and a Garden whose width is like the width of the heavens and earth, prepared for those who believed in Allah and His messengers. That is the bounty of Allah which He gives to whom He wills, and Allah is the possessor of great bounty.

        No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being - indeed that, for Allah , is easy -

        In order that you not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what He has given you. And Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful -
        ***

        This is how I understand it, but if you know of a reason why we would not be able to enjoy the entertainment of this life please let me know. There is more than a 100 years worth of entertainment already, and I've already been scheduling things for the afterlife so I don't risk hell. It makes sense that I would get the chance later unless you know something.

        • More than a 100 years of entertainment?

          • Salam Question,

            Considering everything you can watch or play on a screen you could spend your entire waking life watching the screen and still not watch everything. Plus they come out with something new everyday. If you add books or music the number of years goes up.

            I did a quick search and there's over 97 million songs in the world. If I asked you which is the best one and you started listening to them just once, then assuming each one is only 3min you're already over 500 years and you haven't heard them all.

            So I would say there's over a 100 years worth of entertainment.

          • Oh, I see. Nice calculation.
            But why would you want to watch or listen to all that in Heaven if watching makes you go to hell now.
            Plus, songs are pretty useless anyways. No offence.

          • Question,

            The way I see it it's like work. If a doctor watches a movie at work instead of operating and the patient dies the doctor gets fired. Nothing wrong with watching a movie, just not at work and not all the time.

            So there's a line, the guy gets paid based on his effort at work and sure he can take a break and watch a movie but he can't show up as a doctor and not do anything the whole day.

            Similarly Allah commands us and then sets the reward better than what we can do here. You can work and take a break as needed, the more you work the better you get in the afterlife. If the person's life is all break all the time, then they didn't obey and their chances aren't great.

            But unless you love to do something that is rewarding in the afterlife you are going to waste time taking a break. In the end there's a balance of what you did good and what you did bad. Once you make it though, and you did your job well then it's like being home on retirement with doctor pay. You get to do whatever you want and there's no going back to work. So Allah is saying earn it, don't sell your time for cheap, you can do the same thing later but better:

            http://legacy.quran.com/62/11

            But when they saw a transaction or a diversion, [O Muhammad], they rushed to it and left you standing. Say, "What is with Allah is better than diversion and than a transaction, and Allah is the best of providers."

          • Question,

            To answer your question in a personal way. I listened and skipped it because I was asked to, there I'm told I can have whatever I want. So I'm going to do that minor not so fun activity that I passed up here. And there's a list now, of activities and events that I've missed that I want to catch up on.

            I just don't want to risk hell so that I can make up on entertainment. But having fulfilled the command I don't think I will be prevented there Inshallah.

          • Oh, so you don't listen to songs to utilize your time more productively and not to waste it?
            But I have 3 questions to it
            Isn't listening to music bad anyways even if there's a lot of time
            If it's allowed then you can listen while doing other productive activities too like walking
            And I don't think you'd be interested in all these entertainments in heaven. Because arent these worldly things

            And that was a great analogy you provided. Thanks.

          • Salam Question,

            I don't know if music is always bad or not. There are some benefits to it and some disadvantages. It can waste time, change one's mood, cause one to persist in a bad mood. But there are also times when it's useful, like when driving and feeling sleepy. And I've heard that musicians make better software engineers. So there seems to be some benefit in it.

            One major disadvantage any music or song has is that it can be catchy and help prevent the remembrance of Allah, which of course can be bad:

            ***
            http://legacy.quran.com/43/36-38
            Yusuf Ali
            If anyone withdraws himself from remembrance of (Allah) Most Gracious, We appoint for him an evil one, to be an intimate companion to him.
            Such (evil ones) really hinder them from the Path, but they think that they are being guided aright!
            At length, when (such a one) comes to Us, he says (to his evil companion): "Would that between me and thee were the distance of East and West!" Ah! evil is the companion (indeed)!
            ***
            But other than that I don't know of a prohibition in the Quran that says not to listen to music. And I'm not going to tell you that it is prohibited even if it deters the remembrance of Allah because of this:

            http://legacy.quran.com/16/116:
            Yusuf Ali
            But say not - for any false thing that your tongues may put forth,- "This is lawful, and this is forbidden," so as to ascribe false things to Allah. For those who ascribe false things to Allah, will never prosper.

            As for worldly things, I may do them anyway just to not miss out. I don't have expensive taste so even if I was given a lot I would probably want to start from what I had and transition over to the better stuff later. But who knows, if I make it maybe I'll change my mind :).

  23. worrying about what you will and wont get when you should be worried about if you will make it heaven

    • I like your answers M. They are more logical and sensible than others. I wish I could discuss my questions with you somewhere private.

      • Thanks Helper,

        Thanks for the compliment. I'd be happy to answer your questions privately but I don't think sharing personal information on this site is possible. But on the positive side, a benefit of posting here is that others can review my answers and correct me. Salam.

  24. Why won't the admins post my reply??

    • 1. You asked for it to be deleted, and indicated that you would submit it as a separate post. 2. I find it pointless to post these kinds of debates about the 'ilm al-ghayb, the unseen world. 3. I think these types of questions are rooted in jealousy and insecurity, and a fundamental misunderstanding about the relationship between the dunya and the aakhirah.

      In this life, a person might marry someone who he does not love deeply, but feels would be a good mate and mother to his children. Or he might marry someone he loves, but they end up fighting a lot, or are not truly compatible. The goal, then, is to try to achieve as happy and harmonious relationship as is possible in the dunya.

      However, when one gets married in this life, that marriage is dissolved upon death. This is a basic reality. That's why the surviving spouse is free to marry someone else. Because the first marriage is over. As soon as one accepts the fact that marriage is dissolved upon death, then he/she understands that to be possessive over a former spouse in Jannah is fruitless. Will you be reunited with that person in Jannah? Maybe, maybe not. Allah knows best.

      No matter what, if you desire a spouse in Jannah then you shall have one who will be a comfort to your heart and a joy to your eye, regardless of whether it was someone you knew in the dunya or not.

      In a way, it comes down to trust in Allah the Most High. Allah says that Jannah is a place of joy and happiness for every person. If you believe this, then you will not argue and question over the details of mating practices in Jannah. You will believe that Allah will satisfy your needs and desires, and you will strive to achieve Jannah without worrying about the particulars, of which we have little knowledge anyway.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I did ask for it to be deleted, but when I tried making a separate post about it, the link wouldn't send me my confirmation mail when registering for an account. It would have been better had you posted my reply then answered my question. Anyway, thanks.

      • And even if these types of questions were rooted in jealousy, then that is quite understandable as I am sure that if it were known that women get handsome men and it was not known what men would get then they would also feel confused and curious. It is OK to question. Just because men know what they might get they restrain women from asking such questions and I hate it when men say "oh but we're gonna get beautiful young virgins and women will not get men or anything of the sort" and all that rubbish, what do they know? In Jannah both men and women get whatever they want, who are they to stop us fron getting it when our Provider is only Allah.

        May we all be granted a place in Jannah, Ameen.

        • Okay, I see your point, but whoever said that men would get this and women would not? The language of the Quran on these subjects is gender neutral. It does not specify men or women. The Quran always says, "for them will be spouses..." meaning husbands or wives. The reward for righteous people is the same, whether they are men or women.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalaam alaikum Wael,

        When will be my post answered ?

        I posted in July and not answered yet . Please I beg you to answer it . I am in urgent need .

        I see the post which was posted after me has been answered but not me .

        Please i beg you to answer my post .

  25. One of the best things that people long for in the Hereafter is, for men, the women of Paradise, namely al-hoor al-‘iyn, and for women there is an equivalent delight. By His great wisdom, Allaah has not mentioned what the women will have as the equivalent of al-hoor al-‘iyn for men, and that is due to modesty and shyness. How can He encourage them to seek Paradise by mentioning something that they are too shy and modest to mention or speak about themselves? So He has simply hinted at it, as in the verse (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Therein you shall have (all) that your inner‑selves desire

    [Fussilat 41:31-32]
    islamqa.com

    • Good comment, thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Whether women are shy to talk about jewelry, the gold combs, about food ... not ... women are shy to talk about their sexual fantasies. The desire of every woman is to have at least one good-looking man who will love only her, and just watch it to be romantic and tailored just for her. Imagine dear sisters that it was published, but our men would die. Be smart 🙂

      • Salam,

        This isn't actually true. Men are aware and wouldn't die from that knowledge. They see women reading romance novels and the guys on the cover of those books aren't fat guys.

    • Salam Layla,

      I don't think a gender is specified for Hoor al-'iyn. Also claiming that hoor are women and that Allah is shy to mention a reward for women is an assumption. Here's an example of Allah not being too shy to say the truth:

      http://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=33&verse=53
      O you who have believed, do not enter the houses of the Prophet except when you are permitted for a meal, without awaiting its readiness. But when you are invited, then enter; and when you have eaten, disperse without seeking to remain for conversation. Indeed, that [behavior] was troubling the Prophet, and he is shy of [dismissing] you. But Allah is not shy of the truth. And when you ask [his wives] for something, ask them from behind a partition. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts. And it is not [conceivable or lawful] for you to harm the Messenger of Allah or to marry his wives after him, ever. Indeed, that would be in the sight of Allah an enormity.

  26. The Quranic meaning of the word hoor’ does not mean woman of any kind. Watch a video explaining this on YouTube it’s been posted by qurancentirc and it’s called houries in the Quran.

  27. I believe every person entering jannah will have whatever that person desires. So the momin females will have husbands of their own choice

  28. Hoor is a succes of a perfact muslim ,s future time

  29. I struggle as well. I used to love Islam so much I was ready to fight anyone that had even one bad thing to say about Islam. I remember just staying home and reading Quran all day, waiting for each prayer to come in so I can pray it on time, reading book after book especially about seerah, I would wake up for night prayer and just talk to Allah and it felt so good. But after venturing further into Islamic studies of Quran and Hadith I've found so much doubt entering my heart.

    I just can't shake the disappointment about all the injustices toward women. In this life men can marry four women and have endless slaves, despite how excruciatingly difficult and painful this is for women we are told to just be patient, we don't even have the right to be informed or to divorce if our husband does remarry. Women are told we're a step under men and we have to accept it. We have little freedom, there's always someone We have to answer to, whether it be dad, husband, brother, uncle, son or so on. As if we don't have the mental capacity to make even the smallest decisions without a chaperone. The various hadith about us being from a bent rib, lacking in intelligence, and so on seriously hurt my feeling the first time I read them. Women have so many more restrictions on us where as men enjoy many more freedoms.

    I've forced myself to accept these things because they are just matters of the dunya but then comes the matters of the hereafter. Anyone who takes a look at society can see how evil men are, constantly raping, killing, and abusing yet women are the majority in hellfire for simply being ungrateful. Even the descriptions of jannah sound like it was created for the pleasure of men and women are simply another object for them to enjoy. We still have to share our husbands on an even larger scal and women in jannah are described in such objectifying ways. We don't even get to meet the prophets that we also spent our times loving and following. The first martyr of Islam was a woman yet I have yet to find anything addressing what the specific reward is for female martyrs.

    It's really depressing feeling this way. I wish I could go back to loving Islam as I did before, I truly truly long for those days again but I can't shake these thoughts. I just don't understand why women are reduced like this. I'm still Muslim but I feel disconnected and sad about my place in Islam just because I was born female.

    • As-salamu alaykum laylalove,

      I feel you have a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings about Islam.

      1. It's true that men can marry up to four women, but it's rare of course, since they must provide for all four and treat them equally. If it seems unfair, consider that men die in wars, die at younger ages, etc, which leaves behind widows who need to be cared for. Also, from a procreative standpoint it makes sense. A man father an unlimited number of children, while a woman can only bear one child at a time. So if a nation needs to increase its population, for a woman to marry multiple men would be counterproductive, but for a man to marry more than one woman ensures the growth and expansion of the Ummah.

      2. I do not agree that Islam condones sexual slavery. I know that many believe it does, but I strongly disagree.

      3. "we don't even have the right to be informed or to divorce if our husband does remarry." This is not correct. A woman has the unconditional right to request talaq or to initiate khulah if she is not happy in the marriage:

      A woman came to the Prophet Muhammad seeking the dissolution of her marriage, she told the Prophet that she did not have any complaints against her husband's character or manners. Her only problem was that she honestly did not like him to the extent of not being able to live with him any longer. The Prophet asked her: "Would you give him his garden (the marriage gift he had given her) back?" she said: "Yes". The Prophet then instructed the man to take back his garden and accept the dissolution of the marriage (Bukhari).

      4. Oppression of women or lack of freedom is a cultural issue, not a religious one. It is found equally in many non-Muslim societies. In rural India, for example, women are strongly subjugated. This can also be seen in many other Asian and African cultures.

      5. I completely disagree that the description of Jannah is aimed at men. The language used about such things in the Quran is gender neutral. And in some cases Allah goes out of his way to make it very clear that women are included. See for example Quran 33:35: https://quran.com/33/35

      6. Who told you that women will not meet the Prophets in Jannah? I have never heard this before and I can find no reference to prove it. The Prophet (sws) stated on more than one occasion that the people of Jannah will be with those who they love. He did not differentiate between men and women.

      In short, sister, I think you should formulate your opinion about Islam based on authentic sources, rather than cultural biases that are often self-interested and misogynistic. Islam is in fact a beautiful faith designed for ALL human beings, male and female. Allah the Most High cares for all His servants and would never do injustice to anyone.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Wael,

        Nice try but I am a very non-culturally influenced person. In fact I pride myself on this. My understanding of Islam is based on Quran and sunnah only! Everything I said can either be backed up with daleel from the Quran and sunnah or from the opinions of shuyookh who are known to be upon sound understanding.

        1. I never said that women should polygamous. And I am very familiar with all the "benefits" of polygamy as it pertains to the dunya. All I said was that it is an extremely difficult way for the vast majority of women to live. And that can not be denied. In fact it can be down right depressing, it can feel like immense torture being a woman in polygyny. However we are told to just be patient which is fine and I accept this because it is the dunya but what's hard to accept is that EVEN in jannah men will be polygamous. And as you can see from the various comments this is something hard to comprehend and be happy with for a lot of women.

        2. You don't believe in sexual slavery? Okay so how do you interpret "what the right hand possesses" I'm Surah Anissa verse .

        Or what about the hadith of the sahabah who asked if it was permissible to use the pull out method with his slave in order to not get her pregnant? That's a pretty hard one to ignore.

        "O Messenger of Allaah, I have a slave woman and I engage in ‘azl with her, because I do not want her to get pregnant, but I want what men want. But the Jews say that ‘azl is a lesser form of infanticide.” He said, “The Jews are lying. If Allaah wants to create (a child) you cannot prevent that.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, Kitaab al-Nikaah, 1856; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 1903

        3. No women in Islam do not have a right to divorce. Divorce or Talaq is only for the man. A woman can seek khula but that is different from divorce, yes or no? Even so the vast majority of scholars agree that the husband being polygamous Is not a good reason for a woman to seek separation. And as it states in hadith if a woman seeks to separate from her husband for no good reason the fragrance of Jennah will be forbidden for her.

        If a women asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunnah At-Tirmidhi #1187

        4. Women in Islam have far far far less freedom than men do, how many hadith and ayat are there that order women to obey their husbands. What about the hadith where the woman's father died and she was not allowed to even step foot outside because her husband ordered it. Women aren't allowed to even fast extra days without the husbands permission. Or how about the ayat and hadith that order women to remain in their homes in general. I understand the wisdom behind women having to stay home but still men are not tied down by these things they enjoy much more freedom.

        5. The honor al ayn could be men!! In what world is a man describes as full breasted

        And full-breasted [companions] of equal age 78:33

        Or the many hadith that describe them as women, how does one deny those?

        It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The first group will enter Paradise looking like the moon on the night when it is full, and those who follow them will be like the brightest shining star in the sky. Their hearts will be as one, and there will be no hatred or jealousy among them. Each man will have two wives from among al-hoor al-‘iyn, the marrow of whose calves can be seen from beneath the bone and flesh.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 3014)

        This is just one, but there are many more. I distinctly remember a hadith where the honor al ayn will sing about being wives!

        6. I've read from various scholars that men and women will not mix in Jennah based on the ayat that say the wives will be "restrained in pavilions" and also that the woman will not look at a man other than her husband. Obviously the prophets will be men.

        Shaykh aas sa'di understood the verse as relating to both houris of jannah (clearly he understood them to be female) and women of this world?

        The general meaning of that includes al-hoor al-‘iyn and the women of this world. This description – being virgins – applies to them in all cases, just as their being “loving (their husbands only), equal in age” [al-Waaqi’ah 56:37] applies to them in all cases.

        Tafseer al-Sa’di (p. 833).

        Tafsir ibn kathir understood them to be different but still remains on the belief that women will be secluded:

        "There is no doubt that the chaste wives that restrain their glances themselves, are better than those guarded in pavilions even though both are secluded."

        "Wherein both will be chaste wives restraining their glances, desiring none except their husbands], whom no man or jinni has touched before them” [al-Rahmaan 55:56]

        Tafsir ibn kathir says about this:

        “restraining their glances” means that they lower their gaze and avoid looking at men other than their husbands, so they do not think that there is anything in Paradise that is more handsome than their husbands. This was stated by Ibn ‘Abbaas

        (7/504).

        So Wael thank you for your input but based on all the daleel that supports what I have stated it's safe to say this is from the Quran and sunnah not culture! I'd love to see what proofs and supporting evidence you have for your claims.

        Let me clarify that I am still a Muslim, I worship Allah as I should and do my best to remain obedient. But I don't practice Islam out onfbalanced love and fear like I did before now it's just out of fear of Allah. I try my best to take Islam as it is without Trying to interpret it and twist it to fit my desires because I figure Allah knows better than I do and their must be a bigger picture. The Quran says we may dislike something but it is good for us (obviously this is not word for word). It's not easy some days it's depressing but I truly believe in this religion so I have to accept all of it even when it seems down right demeaning and unfair don't I?

        • Salam laylalove,

          I'll try answering your questions:

          1) Polygamy is an option Allah has provided it's not forced on anyone. If you don't want to be in such a relationship you don't have to. If the husband goes against your wishes on this matter you can divorce him which would again leave you in a non polygamous situation. A woman that feels for another woman that is without a husband and would like to give her time with her husband to that woman can use this option. The other woman that would've remained without a good husband would benefit in this life and I would expect the first wife to benefit in the afterlife. However, there are few that believe strongly enough to do this. Those men that force polygamy on their wives deal with problems and usually get a divorce and end up in monogamy.

          2) I believe in slavery. You can either call them slaves or prisoners of war, or prisoners. No matter what you call them, if you force them to work for you or keep them in captivity they are treated as slaves. Prisoners of war may not be released but slaves can and are encouraged to be released. Prisoners remained confined in a cell whereas slaves live in a house and are more free. I think the slaves in Islam would live in better conditions than prisoners of war. As for being free to do with what your right hand possesses, if you are a good muslim you would treat your slave well.

          3) Women have the right to divorce if they feel they cannot keep within the limits set by Allah:
          https://quran.com/2/229
          "Divorce is twice. Then, either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of Allah . But if you fear that they will not keep [within] the limits of Allah, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself. These are the limits of Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah - it is those who are the wrongdoers."

          For you, polygamy prevents you from treating your husband in a good manner so I would say you have a valid reason to divorce. Whether you call it a khula or not the result is the same, you will no longer be married to that man. As for the fragrance being forbidden I don't believe in that as it goes against other verses in the Quran. Sins are forgivable and Allah is willing to forgive, how can one say that by divorcing from a marriage where one was doing more harm than good that they would then be denied something in Paradise? And what about the verse that says they can have whatever they ask for? Couldn't I just then ask for the fragrance and get it then?

          4) I don't see a difference in freedom. Men are forced to work and bring home money and during that time they have to do what they're paid to do like slaves. No matter which gender you look at there is someone else giving them orders and above them all is Allah, no one is free to do what they want. Also, not all marriages are women confined like a prisoners. Most women have the freedom to go where they want, if you find such a restrictive marriage that you are held prisoner at home and you can't tolerate it, then divorce.

          5) They can be both women and men. That is just one translation and there are others here:
          http://islamawakened.com/quran/78/33/default.htm

          If the hadith has them as women there's nothing wrong with it as they can be women too. Also it's taking about what men get, nowhere does it say that they will only be women.

          6) It says this:
          https://quran.com/55/72-78?translations=20
          "Fair ones reserved in pavilions"
          I don't see restrained. I wouldn't expect to show up and a bunch of women in shackles. And these aren't humans that's being talked about as they are untouched by man or jinn. Why you would take that verse to think that men and women wouldn't mix doesn't make sense for me. If you had a son do you think you'd never see him? Cause you're a woman and he's man? I think you're trying to find a specific answer, are women restrained, in the quran where it doesn't say that. And since that's what you want to find the second you see something that might be it you think it says that. So here I recommend that you read that Quran as is and try to accept what it says. If you try to look for meaning to support what you think is being said then you will be misled.

          Lastly, there is nothing preventing you from being a man in the afterlife. If you think Allah will be unfair to you because of the gender Allah gave you in this life then ask to be a man in the afterlife. After you get your reward ask to swap your gender and the gender of your spouse(s). Although I don't think you will have to at all:
          https://quran.com/4/32
          And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of his bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.

  30. Here is another example of what I mean. Every morning I wake up before fajr, pray and read Quran and some tafsir. Today I come across this in tafsir ibn kathir:

    ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood and Ibn ‘Abbaas, and Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyib, ‘Ikrimah, al-Hasan, Qutaadah, al-A’mash, Sulaymaan al-Taymi and al-Oozaa’i said concerning the aayaah,

    “Verily, the dwellers of Paradise, that Day, will be busy in joyful things” [ya-seen 36:55]

    they said, it means they will be busy deflowering virgins. Ibn ‘Abbaas said, according to a report narrated from him, that “busy in joyful things” means listening to stringed instruments. Abu Haatim said: he misheard the phrase iftidaad al-abkaar (deflowering virgins) and thought it was samaa’ al-awtaar (listening to stringed instruments). In fact the correct phrase is iftidaad al-abkaar deflowering virgins. 3: 564

    Reading that literally made my skin crawl. It's so graphic and unfortunately demeaning. These are the companions of the prophet, the ones we're told to love and look up to, the ones we're supposed to strive to be like, and the ones that are promised jannah and this is how they say the verse is properly interpreted.

    It's so objectifying to women, it makes it seem like women in jannah are just things for men to enjoy. And if this is what the Quran is referring to when it refers to joyful thing In jannah, then there's no way this can apply to women. Certainly women won't be "deflowering virgins." men can't be "deflowered".

    Reading that ruined my entire morning I couldn't stop thinking about it, it made me so sad and disappointed. I'm sure you can imagine why a woman would feel disappointed when studying Islam deeper only to come across these types of things. It's a struggle trying to make peace with it and accepting that this is the women's place in Islam and somehow there's a bigger picture and this is what's best for her.

    • laylalove, as I said, you have to stop accepting misogynistic interpretations that are written or issued by men. These interpretations are archaic, and are based on the male-dominant cultures of the time, not on the actual text of the Quran. I mean, look at how they persist: Ibn Abbass, RA, one of the greatest mufassireen, said it meant listening to stringed instruments, but the later scholar insisted he was mistaken! Look at the actual ayah:

      “Verily, the dwellers of Paradise, that Day, will be busy in joyful things.”

      It is simple, beautiful, gender-neutral and timeless. Appreciate it for what it is, and understand it in any way that moves you personally. Such an ayah should be a source of inspiration, not sadness. I do not blame the scholars of old. They were great men. Their interpretations were simply based on their cultural biases.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I get what you mean, but apart from ibn 'Abbas who differed in the opinion all those Sahabi agreed on the meaning. Who am I to say that they're wrong and their mentality is old fashioned when they were promised jannah and I'm not.

        It's not like this is the only thing, there are just so many more things that are upsetting to me as a woman directly from the Quran and sunnah, what I stated in my various comments are just a few examples.

        Like I keep saying it's okay, I choose to accept the Quran and sunnah as it is even if I don't like everything that I find, however you can't deny women these feelings or blame it on ignorance because I am certainly not completely ignorant about my religion, of course we're all ignorant to a degree because Islam is a vast pool of knowledge but I dedicate a lot of time to learning and studying it, not Muslim culture but the Quran and sunnah itself. These issues that some of us women are bringing up are not fabricated from our imagination the words are there, the support is also there from the words of the prophet and various sahabi or scholars. We can't just disregard anything that doesn't fit what we want and some of these things are just not in the favor of women no matter how one may try to spin it.

        That's all

        • laylalove, I'm beginning to wonder if you are a troll. You mix knowledge with disinformation and use it to cast aspersions and doubts on Islam, which is exactly what trolls do. You dismiss Ibn Abbass's opinion, when he was considered among the sahabah to be the foremost in understanding the Quran. You call them all sahabah when in reality not all of those narrators you listed were sahabah. And you say, "Who am I to say that they're wrong and their mentality is old fashioned when they were promised jannah and I'm not." Actually not one of those narrators is on the list of those who were promised Jannah!

          Oh, and in answer to your earlier question about "slaves", I interpret "those who your right hands possess" as wives, and the "aw" in the ayah as "in other words." This was the interpretation of a few other scholars I've read. Meaning that "those who your right hands possess" is a clarification of wives, not an alternative.

          Slavery is an evil thing and sexual slavery even more so. Islam did not come to promote evil but to liberate the world from it. The Quran does not promote capture of slaves, but liberation of slaves. In fact the core of Islam, which is the worship of Allah alone, negates slavery implicitly. Slavery is a monstrous institution that has caused untold suffering. To claim that such an institution is accepted in Islam in the absence of a SINGLE clear mention in the Quran, is unacceptable.

          If you wish to submit your own post that is fine. But I won't have you coming on here and spreading doubts and negativity to others. So I'm putting you on moderated status.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • I'm not a troll! I'm an actual Muslimah with these actual issues. And I'm not the only one that stated these same issues there were multiple women who mentioned the same concerns so why do I have to be a troll?

            I don't see where I mixed knowledge with misinformation that was not my intention, everything I wrote is what I actually understand from the Quran, sunnah and sayings of scholars. But if I did then correct me with the right verses or hadith.

            I'm not disregarding ibn 'Abbas opinion but that doesn't change the opinions of the other Sahabi mentioned, only one of them is not a sahabah and he is a tab'een. From what I understand all the sahabah will be in jannah correct me if I'm wrong that's just what I understood. I know there are the 10 that are guaranteed jannah but there even more than that, like all those who witnessed the battle of badr.

            Anyways my intention isn't to spread doubt about Islam, obviously there are far more things about Islam that I find rewarding and encouraging otherwise I wouldn't be a Muslim. There are many things mentioned in the Quran and sunnah about women that I agree with, but it's not everything and I accept that Allah knows better than I do.

            Anyways I'm done commenting. I hope Allah guides us all to the straight path, Assalamu alaikum.

          • Okay, I apologize for doubting you. Ameen to your dua'.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  31. when women loves a man she loves with all her heart..suffering from pain and bearing child pain is not just easy..she does everything for her husband n every woman wants her husband is to be his only in this world and hereafter..and not for any other wives or other womans..still its hard n painfull that reality is men will get .nobody like to steal away others happiness but a woman happiness is with her husband and ok if she understand it men will get this n that ok ..but when she thinks about about her husband she get broke in one sec..nobody wants to know that ur husband will get woman as wives n hoories

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