Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband doesn’t want children and won’t say why

Muslim children

Muslim children.


I am a 22 year old girl and married.  My husband's age is 32, and it's being 10 months for my marriage.  My husband doesn't want a child right now and he doesn't share why he doesn't.

I have a great wish to have a child, so kindly please tell me any dua.


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10 Responses »

  1. Why didn't you have a conversation about kids before you got married? I'd think it's one of the more important things to discuss with someone you consider marrying - because it's important to be on the same note with your potential spouse. If you're the type of person who wants to travel and be active in your social life, and your proposal wants you to be a stay-at.home mother who looks after the house and kids, then, perhaps, he's not the most suitable choice for you.

    But anyway, you have married this guy, so you have to stick things out and work for your marriage. You are entitled to know why your husband doesn't want children - it sounds very odd to me that he's so reluctant to tell you why he doesn't want kids. I mean, it's just a matter of saying, "I just don't like kids, I don't want the responsibility of them", or whatever else his reasons might be. If I were you, I'd nag him, lol. Like, I'd constantly demand him to tell me why he doesn't want babies. I'd let him know it's my right to know, because marriage is not only about sharing your life with someone, it's also the bond that allows you to start a family - tell him that one of the main reasosn you even wanted to marry him was because you want to have his children!

    Do you think he's so unwilling to give you an explanation, because he might have some health problems that he's ashamed of? And what kind of relationship do you have? Is your marriage stable? He wasn't forced to marry you, was he?

    • @Adina I think that is really unfair some people dont have a chance to even ask that question but that is one of the reasons to get married is having your own child. If you say that to your future spouse before marriage it would also look like you only married him for children.

    • Don't Nag him, you are going to make him hate you and hate coming home, where he is supposed to get some peace.

      Just be patient sister,
      Inshallah he will change his mind. Don't rush. Rushing is from shaytan.

  2. salam sister
    im not married but ive seen other married couples n all so im saying that from that experience
    1st men n women dont think the the same likes a bit of cave time or lonely time by themselves n eventually will tell u when he is ready where we women love to talk.2nd ly it might be that he is not financially ready plus u said he doesnot want it now n u also said ur just 10 months married.maybe he wants to spent much time with u n get to know u very very well.or may be he is just not ready for the responsibilit n sees great potential to be father in coming years where he will enjoy his fatherhood to the fullest..
    enjoy roam around talk and play around with ur husband n there is time for children,rather than think about having a child learn more about islam involve ur husband as well nd learn quranic arabic with him if u dont kno arabic..make ur realationship stronger so that in near future u guys can be energetic n the best parents
    may ALLaAH shower his blessing upon u

  3. Salam sister,your husband says that he doesn't want children sounds like he just wants to spend a bit of time alone as a married couple,and enjoy each other before bringing children into the picture.don't worry and I wouldn't force the issue,and just enjoy the peace and quiet time together,go out and do things that you can't once you have are only 22 there's no ruch.inshallah you will have babies when the time is right.:)

  4. Sister,

    You are married to a very smart man. He wants to know you before having little ones come into the picture. Don't be in such a rush, it will happen when it is meant to be. Until then, learn about one another, travel and have fun.


  5. I think you should take it easy you
    Just got married sweetie,enjoy your marriage
    For a while then have kids, I waited tow years to have a baby and it was my idea my husband would want a baby every year lol I don't want them. Right now marsallah I have a 1 year old son and Im really happy because I was
    Ready to
    Have a baby. So maybe your husband want kids but not now.

  6. Salam Sister,

    I think what's worrying you is why he does not want kids? He is not giving you a reason. It could be many reasons as the above sisters have all suggested, but why doesn;t he just tell you the reason?

    You should have a sit down with him and express your desire to have children and explain to him that you do not want to pressurize him but you need to know the reason and expect to know when you can prepare for a family, i.e in a years time or two years?

    I do not understand why he is not discussing family planning issues openly with you. Usually men make their feelings known boldly, so there may be an underlying issue.

    You are married you have every right to have a child striaght after marriage if you want. Its not a sin, its halal and recommended to have a family.

    If you really want a child then stop the contraceptive pill and let nature take control Allah willing.

    • I have to vehemently disagree with this. I know I'm years late, but I was in a similar situation too. I now have a toddler, and I am ashamed to admit that I regret pushing my husband for the baby.

      DO NOT HAVE a child with someone who is not 100% on board. It IS HALAL and good, but it's not wise in a situation like this. Especially doing it in a sneaky way (I did not stop contraception to have a kid, my husband and I both finally agreed.)

      It is more halal to leave him and find a man who won't give you trouble for such things! It's hard and painful at first, but TRUST ME IT"s much easier to remarry without having to raise a child from another man.

      If you want to stay with him in hopes that he will change his mind, take the risk. I would definitely get to the bottom of it first and foremost, whether or not he wants children. That's a very important thing. The asker is young and IA has many fertile years ahead of her. You are not a stupid nor a desperate woman, no Muslima should feel under the thumb of her husband, especially when it comes to such things. Also the other way around, do not force him to have a baby with you. From my heart to yours, trust me!

      I know this post was old, but I hope you made the wisest decisions in your life.

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