My husband has converted to Islam and I need to know what that means for me
First let me start with a bit of history. I am not Muslim. My husband was convicted of a criminal offense and is doing life in prison.
We have one son together, and he has a son with another woman. We are common law married. I hold this in the same regard as any marriage. He is my husband and I have no desire but to be his refuge and support. It is my pleasure and joy to bring honor to our family as his wife.
He had been in jail 3 years and has now “submitted” and converted to Islam. Where does that leave me? Also, we are interracial. He is black and I am white. I have heard that he cannot be married to a white woman. I am just terribly confused. I do not understand why he would keep this from me. I am unsure what to do or where to go from here. I do not know how to bring it up to him or if I should question him at all.
Should I just wait until he shares this with me? I really am very lost with no direction. Thank you for your consideration and kindness.
- juli5224
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Hi Juli,
Sorry, I didn't get it right. Is your question about religion or is it about race as you said that you are white Christian and your boyfriend/husband is black.
From a religious point of view a Muslim man can marry a Christian women only if she agrees that children will be brought up as devout Muslim and there will be no element of Christianity whatsoever in their up-bringing and also there are some other rights that a husband has on his wife which she needs to observe as this an inter-religion marriage and vice versa.
Secondly, Islam strongly discourages/ prohibits racism be it on the basis of culture, society, colour, caste, social class etc. It goes as;
"No white has any superiority over the black or vice versa and no Arab is superior than a non-Arab or vice versa; All are the children of Adam and Adam was created from earth; righteousness is the only criteria for superiority"
So, I would recommend you that see a scholar in your local Islamic centre or an Imam in mosque and discuss this with them. I am sure they will clarify your concerns in the light of ruling of Islam through sunnah, Hadith and Holy Quran. But, definitely there is no division in Islam on the basis of race or colour and someone has misguided you. Further more if I am wrong anywhere or if brother and sisters on the panel or independent ones think there is more detail to that then pls do so.
May Allah show you and make you choose the right path. (Amin)
Dear Juli,
What you have been told about Islam is a misconception. Islam is for the whole of mankind, infact for all of Allah's creation. There is absolutely no prohibition on blacks marrying white, or on Arabs marrying Europeans etc. A Muslim man can marry a Christian or Jewish woman, although you did not mention what your religious beliefs are.
Just to let you know a little about what Muslims believe: We believe that there is no one worthy of worship but Allah. There is no one or anything like Allah. He does not have children, or parents, He has no need to eat or sleep. He created everything and is The Most Merciful. We believe that Allah has sent many Prophets and Messengers to earth to guide mankind starting with Adam (peace be upon him) and Muhammed being the last (peace be upon him). We believe that Jesus was a Prophet sent by Allah, he was human like Adam, like Muhammed, like you and I. We believe that our life on earth is a test and that whatever we do now will determine whether we go to Heaven or Hell after we die. Below is a part of Prophet Muhammed(saw)'s last sermon:
All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black, nor a black has any superiority over a white- except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim, which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not therefore, do injustice to yourselves.
If your husband has become a true Muslim, then I think you will find him to be a very loving, kind and helpful husband.
We usually only fear things we don't know about, so I can understand your fears as the little you have heard about Islam is not true and really you do not 'know'. You have taken a wise step, which is to find out about the religion :O). Do not feel scared to ask questions and especially to your husband. Ask him whatever is on your mind, that is the only way you will be able to alleviate your concerns and fears.
Best Wishes,
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hi Juli,
I am in complete agreement with what mks1982 and SisterZ have said. Also, as mks1982 has said, Islam strongly discourages racism. That being said, it does not mean that there are no racist people who are Muslims. These people are not following what is said in the Quran and Sunnah.
As for your Common Law husband, you should ask him if he is an Orthodox Muslim or has he joined the Nation of Islam. What you heard about a man not marrying a white woman could be true if he is part of the NOI. I'm not sure how much they have changed over the years but there was a time when they would never marry or allow a white person in their organization.
Because of what they preach and teach they are outside of Islam. Not considered Muslims.
If he is an orthodox Muslim, then you should try to learn about the religion. He is allowed to marry a woman who is Christian or Jew.
I hope this helped.
Peace!
Abdul Wali
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Jazak Allah khayr brother Abdul Wali, I was going to point this out myself. The Nation of Islam has dwindled greatly in numbers and is hardly found anymore in most cities, but their presence hangs on in prison. Most large prisons have a chapter of the Nation. Their underlying beliefs are bizarre, their rhetoric is rooted in anger, and yes they do preach racism as a part of their ideology. They are in fact not Muslim.
So Juli, I hope your husband has not joined the Nation.
Even in prison, though, the member of the nation are greatly outnumbered by orthodox Sunni Muslims.
You should indeed sit down with your husband discuss his conversion, and ask him the questions you have asked us: what implications does it have for your marriage, and what are his expectations of you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hello Juli,
I wouldn't worry if he hasn't told you. A Muslim man can marry a non Muslim woman from if they are Christian or a woman of judaism. In Islam though, a Muslim woman can't marry a non muslim man. The non Muslim wife doesn't have to convert, but he may encourage you and also he will probably want to raise your son the Islamic way. Don't worry sister! :). He hasn't kept anything from you. He did tell you he converted to Islam. I'm sure he will share everything with you. Just wait and be patient. Islam is a great religion with respect, peace, and kindness as the main qualities. Your husband has probably became a better person. Islam doesn't discrimanate against anyones race or color. So of course he can still be with you. To learn more about Muslim converts, I suggest looking at this to get an idea of what your husband is going or will be gluing through.http://www.muslimconverts.com/
Peace sister. I hope you find happiness and peace with your husband.
Hello,
Speaking as someone who married an ex-felon who also converted in prison, I can say with reasonable certainty that your husband is likely in the best of circumstances, considering that he is serving a life sentence.
In the course of your relationship since his incarceration he has probably shared with you some of the terrible experiences he witnesses or endures living in a penitentiary. His conversion will likely be the rope he clings to in order to stay sane, stay out of trouble, and find brotherly friendship he might not find otherwise. In fact, the positive experience many muslim men say they have in prison with each other, they often have a hard time finding again in local mosques once they are released.
That being said, do all you can to support his journey along this path. If you can learn a little bit about Islam enough to give him advice and support according to its teachings when he needs it (despite whatever you may personally believe), I'm sure he will find you to be a priceless treasure.
HELLO MY HUSBAND ID CONVERTING TO MUSLIM...
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