Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I feel like a silly loner – I don’t have any friends

salam!

i am 22 years old and i live in pakistan. i wont say im facing some real big and weird problems in life (thanks to Allah).. bt still i would like to discuss this minor issue im facing in my life...

the problem is i don have any friends although i go to college bt my routine is like i just go, attend my lectures n come back home..apart from that even in my family i don have any frends or age fellas... see its not that ive some prob in making frends.. ive tried it so many times.. bt nothing really happened... i used to have 2 frends at college even they left me n never contacted me back fr no reason .. i even made frends at some social networking site n they were quite close to me bt even they left me...

although im not badly effected by all this bt at time i do feel lonely n sad when i see other groups of frends :/.... and at times i do get this feeling maybe ALlah thinks im a bad person who doesnt deserve any frends or maybe hes angry at me thats y he wants me to b alone like this ....im scared ๐Ÿ™

splashy


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9 Responses »

  1. U haven't thought of it that whether Allah doesn't want you to make or mix with bad company,all those company you seem to love and really appreciate from afar may not really be what it seems to be.Allah knows while we know not,your conclusions mayb be 100percent wrong.
    My advice to u is that you should make dua to Allah to guide all your affairs and that of every muslims especially those in worse situations that yours and then try to attend cicles of knowledge by scholars that are on the path Quran and sunnah,In Sha Allah,you won't feel lonely and you can make better friends there.

  2. Assalam Aleykoum W.r W.b

    If applied with a correct understanding, isolation can be most beneficial.

    Ibn Taymiyah said:

    At times, it is necessary for the worshipper to be isolated from others in order to pray, remember Allah, recite the Quran, and evaluate himself and his deeds. Also, isolation allows one to supplicate, seek forgiveness, stay away from evil, and so on."

    I am not necessarily saying that you should isolate yourself all the time but that you should use this time when alone to reflect on your relationship with Allah SWT.

    Let friendship find its way to you and never force it. Infact it will be better that you chose your friends wisely. One of my sisters always told me this "choose your friends but dont let them choose you". Because you know what is good for you and the company you keep can have a really great influence on you.

    I used to be a loner not by choice but just like you at that age and time I used to wish and push myself to make friends. Then came in time that I realised that some friends are just not that genuine.

    And now? I chose to isolate myself by choice. I am happy to say that my best friend is my mother and Sister. I also have just one good friend. Al7amdulillah.

    So dont worry. In time InshaAllah, you will realise just how precious your own company is and how beautifully the company is when you solely depend on Allah SWT.

    Make yourself happy and dont look for friends to make you happy. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Salaam,
    SisterZahriya

    • Imam Husain (A.S) said:

      โ€œHe who has you [oh Allah], has everything, and he who has deprived himself of you is the poorest in the worldโ€.

      When you have Allah SWT then you have the BEST of the BEST of the BEST of Friends.

  3. Salam alekum sister. Subhan Allah you are having the same problem as me but slightly different as I am married. I am 23 almost 24 I have 2 kids and also pregnant. Ever since I got married or let's say ever since in my teens I had no friends at hich school, once I got married I faced a lot of depression as I moved to a diff country and left UK. Now I'm back and contacted the friends I used to be friends with at high school, don't much talk to me or ( don't even bother speaking/ replying back to me) :/.... I am at the moment very lonely as I'm pregnant and my boys don't have friends ( I feel so sad for them). I love my husband he doesn't stop me from going anywhere. It's just that I feel like spending the day with someone other than my husband ( although) he works almost all week just having time with us before he goes to work , that is 3-4 hours of family time together.
    Alhamdulilah my parents are here I visit them once in a while, but still I feel trapped between 4 walls at home :(.

    I attend the mosque every Sundays for classes, & I have met some sisters there but still I think I'm just expecting too much from them, as I don't get any phone calls from them either. I don't have any problems with anyone and I don't make problems for anyone alhamdulilah. I used to isolate myself from his wives friends or people around us or just making friends, ever since I moved back here in the UK I have completely changed, I would randomly ask a person (sisters) whoever has a hijab on for their phone numbers. I'm just feeling neglected most of the times.

    Try to play Quran during loneliness. When I feel terribly down and depressed at home I play the Quran ( although alhamdulilah I don't listen to music) that is what I would suggest. Allah is putting us all in test and trials. Allah knows best

    Please keep me in your duas.

    (Edited) sorry for the long comment. I just realised that I had posted a long comment.

  4. Asc sister.
    To be honest I was in a similar situation and I would pray to Allah to give me good friends, When I use to see a sister with a scarf I would want to get to know her ect. But there was one thing that I honestly didnt realise.I was attached to people and what I mean by that is that I wasnt very close to Allah I use to pray my 5 daily prayers, read qurann most nights, nafil ect but there still was this emptiness in my heart and I wanted to fill that by making friend.However this emptiness/loneliness in our heart can only be filled by Allah and Alhamdullilah today I have realised that true happiness comes from being close to Allah and not by going out with friends, having fun ect.I have learn that when I become comfortable with being on my own and being close to Allah aswell as detaching myself from people,this is when Allah will send me good people in sh Allah. May Allah help you in this,

  5. Salam....
    Muhammad,zahriya,muhmus,preet,hawaz thank u soo much brothers and sisters for all the support and advice ๐Ÿ™‚ i feel great n much relaxed now... N wud definitely follow all the sugestions n advice given :).. Thanks yet again..

  6. May be Allah took everyone away so there's only you and Allah alone!! Who needs people when the King of all people is with you???

    Allah Aza Wa Jal says:
    Fazkurooni azkurkum!
    Remember me I will remember you. (Surah Al Baqarah)

  7. Thanks for the reply bro amatullah..
    :):)

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