Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to marry her, a complicated situation

Divorce decree

Corrupt courts make divorce even harder

As-salamu alaykum bros & sis, need your advice on this matter..

I am a muslim guy with a non-muslim woman who is going through a marriage annulment process in her country. The thing is, this process has been dragging on for years although both parties in that marriage want to get it over with asap.

Apparently the judge told them to pay 'special fees' (henceforth, will be accurately referred to as a 'bribe') in order to expedite the process, and it is a big amount. Needless to say, a complaint against that judge produced more trouble and more requests for bribes... Effectively, after that, the marriage annulment process has now been upgraded into 'an unknown amount of months to years or maybe decades', until the entire process is completed. The reason is that the courts in her country need more time to come to a decision as they are overloaded with annulment/divorce cases..

She has been attending religious classes over the past year, in order to convert to Islam and has started learning how to pray as well. However, we don't know if she should officially convert to Islam because her attorney advised that in doing so, it might affect the duration of her marriage annulment process and it might take a longer period and the courts can even throw it out on some technical reason (obviously the courts will not state that its because of religion conversion) and she has to re-apply for it and go through the entire process all over again. Therefore, she can only be an unofficial muslim for now...

There's is an option for us, and that is to follow Sharia law and marry her in accordance to Islam (after the 3 months period when a person has converted to Islam, then the previous marriage is voided). We can live with that, no problem. But then, our marriage is still not lawful in the eyes of our government. Which means that our children (Insya'allah we won't be too old to have kids by then) will be considered as born out of wedlock and we will not be considered as a proper family nucleus, which means we cannot buy a house with housing grants, I can't use my medical savings to pay for our children's immunization, I am not entitled to paternal leave to care for our children, baby bonus, etc etc. Even the muslim marriage council in my country says they can't approve our marriage unless the corrupted courts in her country rule that she is free from previous marriage.

I am sorry for the long post, and I hope someone is able to advise me and offer a solution. I don't know if registering our marriage in a muslim country will make any difference.

(PS : Please don't advise me to leave her and find another woman, because I will never abandon her)

Thank you


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4 Responses »

  1. Dear Alienware,

    Due to the sensitivity of the above-said case of yours, it is not proper to leave comments or advice in this public forum or blog as it might affect unfavorably your concern. Therefore, it would be better if you can send your concern to so we can send our advice directly to your personal email.

    Thank you very much

    • The policy on the website prevents us from sharing our personal emails, for good reason.

      I don't see why you can't give a suggestion to the OP openly--wouldn't it help others too?

      To the OP:

      This is a very serious matter--speak to Islamic Scholars in your area regarding this extremely sensitive matter.

      May Allah ease your difficulties, Ameen.

      • I guess the Editor must have overlooked the post from Mohammad Khalil. It should be deleted. I will strongly advise the OP: DO NOT contact the above email address. It may be a fraud or a solicitation.

        @ Mohammad Khalil, you should write your advise openly as suggested by Saba.

  2. OP: I am a muslim guy with a non-muslim woman who is going through a marriage annulment process in her country......Please don't advise me to leave her and find another woman, because I will never abandon her.

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