His family won’t accept me because my ex-husband bad mouthed me.
Lies.
I'm 22 years old and I'm divorced. My marrige was forced and after one year I ask divrce!
months ago my friend (molana) he ask me to talk with his brother to knw him and if we like each other we gonna married! I accept,but I didn't want! I start chat with the boy, after 1month he came to meet me (he lives in neighbor country).
our first date my sister and his cousin come with us, we talk to much, but some points we don't agree. for me was good because I didn't want to tell him that I have been married!
after that he back to his country and I talk to his brother, explain him that I was married in my past, and I ask him to talk to him abouut this, and he do it for me! The boy was choked, he talk to me and we decid to be just friends! We chat evryday, we call each other, he sent me gifts, but we was just friends.
after 1months we see that we like each other, and we decid to make istikhara. our istikhara was positive, I was happy, he's pious men.
He talk to his family and they said okay, first they need references about me! after 1week he told me his family said that I'm not good to married him, and he still saiyng that he want marry with me.
he ask me my ex husband number, I didn't like this, but I give him. His nana call to my ex husband and they meet, he talk so bad about me 🙁 he said I destroy him, but its not true! after that his nana told the boy how was the meet with my ex husband, and he come talk to me, he accused me, he judge me 🙁 I try to explain him but he continue accused me.
after min, he said that he want stay with me but his family don't want, I tell him go away, they are your family, he ask me to go talk to his nana try to convece him, I ask some old people and they say its more easy the boy convece his nana than me, beacause if I go meet his nana , maybe he will think wrong! 🙁
me and that boy we stop talk, I make a lot of dua, I wake up for tahajjud, but I don't know what to do, please help me! 🙁
- tahira
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Sister,
Why on earth would this man's family want to talk to your ex husband?! I often hear of families contacting aunts, uncles and the like but the ex? Can you just imagine if all the families the world over contacted the ex husband or ex wife to inquire about them and their character for a potential spouse? If that were the case, no one who has ever been divorced would get remarried! An ex husband is not the person to go to in this instance and this mans nana would have been better to talk to a family relative...an aunt or uncle if you will. I am sorry that things have ended up this way for you but maybe in time when things calm a bit, this man you wish to marry might approach his nana again. He might talk to his nana and help her see that contacting the ex husband might not be the wisest approach to finding a fair and unbiased opinion of you. Your ex husband may be angry and have said some not so nice things about you. God willing everything will work out for the best for both of you.
Salam
I agree with Najah. It's bizarre that his family would want to talk to your ex-husband. No one's ex is going to have anything good to say. You should not have accommodated such a request.
Sister Tahira, I think you should consider this relationship finished. As you said, there is no longer any communication between the two of you, and his family has already made up their minds against you. Let it go and move on. Insha'Allah you will find someone good who will not care about your previous marriage.
Wael
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