IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

assalamou alaikoum every one.

i have been married for more than three years now. i have 2 kids from this marriage. my husband and i are both muslims. but i am struggling a lot and i am crying every night for no reason.

i moved to Canada to join my husband, therefore i gave up my job and all my friends. as soon we got here, he started spending more and more time with his friends...at night. when i first complained about it, he told that this was how everybody lives here. he is always leaving home before maghreb and come back around 12am or 1 am. so i have to eat alone and more importantly, go to bed alone. if i want to see him, i have to stay awake until he comes back.

i discovered few months ago that he is drinking. i feel like he does not really wanna quit because he is telling me that he is trying but he comes back home with more alcohool in his blood than before.

now, like if this was not enough trouble , he starts complaining about me. When we are arguing he wants me to keep my voice down to show him some respect.

i realy do not know what to do. Even if i still love him, i am thinking about. leaving him and start a new life with my kids. i am so tired, i cannot trust him anymore and i think that he is cheating on me whenever he gets the chance to do so. I feel like he does not need me and does not appreciate all the effort i am putting in this marriage.

I am avoiding touching him because i feel like i am committing a sin. because i am angry with him, i don t feel like making him happy. and i was told that this too was a sin. am i really a sinner in having sex with my husband while he is a drunker and is not holding all his prayers? should i leave him to stop making a sin?

please i am awaiting your answer, because i am not very far from a depression. i am working so hard on my chances to go to pardise to allow someone to jeopardy it.

thank you.