Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am in love but she called me “brother”

Where is the love?My crush called me "brother" but she is saying that she mistakenly said this. Am I like her brother now?

How about this? Will you please guide me about this?

- wajahatullah

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6 Responses »

  1. Salam,

    I'm guessing this isn't a serious question so that means I get to answer with a non-serious answer that can be funny:

    Just be careful that she doesn't call you mother, because then you'll be like her mother and have to wear women's clothes and support her like a mother. Yup, generally that's how it works. As soon as someone calls you something, that's it. Your life changes and you must fulfill that role for the rest of your life. Or until they call you something else.

    • M, I think it is in fact a serious question. Some people believe just as you said, that a relationship is defined by the terms you use for each other.

      Wael Editor

    • Salam,

      Calling you a brother has no effect. If you two were married and you said she was like your mother, with the intent that you would not fulfill her rights as your wife, then that would have consequences. Outside of that, Allah instructs that you call people by what is right, calling them the wrong thing does not forever change the relationship. There are people that have called their adoptive sons their actual sons and Allah has instructed that they be called by their father's names. That doesn't change how those people feel about their adoptive sons but it is just so that the right thing may be said.

      Even if this wasn't so with Islam it would not make any sense through reasoning would it? Could you walk up to a girl call her your sister and then adopt her into your family just because you called her your sister? Or that the girl would have to start acting like your real blood sister just because you called her that? That is completely nonsensical. Even if you were to call her with any relationship it would have no bearing of what your actual relationship with her would be.

      If you're thinking that because she called you brother, that she can't get married to you, then that's not true at all.

  2. Asalamualaykum waja,

    Well, if she took the time and energy to tell you that she was "mistaken" about this, she either made a mistake or she changed her mind and is now interested in you. If you are of age and interested in her, approach her wali with a proposal. If not, leave her alone.



  3. Selam dear brother,

    Please give due attention to the fact that she actually justified what she called u, therefore she doesn’t c u in a brotherly way

    And no- it has no effect in deen. U do not automatically become deemed as her brother.

    Your sis in Islam,


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