Did I offend her?
I’m originally from Pakistan and studying at a university in London. There I befriended a Lebanese girl. We became really good friends. We hung out and did all kinds of stuff together. She usually interacted with other girls and I was one of the few male friends she had.
Everything seemed to be great until few days back when she asked me what type of girl I would prefer as my life partner. I hadn’t really put much thought into it so I merely replied: “She should be a Pakistani”.
Apparently, she didn’t take that very well. She didn’t say anything but, I could tell from her facial expressions. I immediately changed the subject. But, the next day she seemed a bit distant. She spent more time with her female friends and she would only talk to me when I would start a conversation.
Today, I asked her if she wanted to hang out or something but she said she was busy with the coursework. Actually, we do have loads of assignments to do. But, i still felt she was trying to make an excuse. Did I really offend her?. I miss hanging out with her and really want to have that special relationship with her like before. I can’t even often focus on my studies as I keep thinking about whether I offended her or not.
- Zarrar
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She might feel that way, that's how girls are. Like she thought you liked her that's why you hung out with her, she might even had some feeelings for you and now you tell her that she is not good enough, you know what I mean? Why your life partner should be pakistani anyway?
Maybe we should ask him why he is hanging out with a girl who is not his wife (non-Mahram)? As Hanging out with the girl before marriage is prohibited in Islam.
Brother, you may want to follow this link
http://www.7cgen.com/?showtopic=31245
Brother Zarrar, you cannot really be that clueless. The young lady has feelings for you and was hoping or imagining that you might propose to her. That's why she asked you that question, and why she has stopped seeing you since then. She is not interested in being your hang-out buddy if there is no future with you, as you have made clear.
In her eyes you are a playboy who has been toying with her and whose intentions are not honorable.
Find yourself some male friends. Islam does not allow close friendships with women as it inevitably leads either to sin, or to misunderstandings like this, where one person desires the other.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam Brother Zarrar,
I think brother Wael and Katkuta are right here. It seems like she wanted you to marry her, so that both of you could continue hanging out in a halal way, but you were clueless. Though, a woman could also be complicated sometimes.
In any case, you may want to fix it up now by putting much thought into it (and then surprise her by approaching her family), and then see how you could continue your friendship and hanging-outs with her, as your wife.
However, If you didn't feel any marriage desire for her then let her go forever, as Islamically you can't have any friendship nor hanging-outs with her before marriage. Which means there is no girlfriend/boyfriend system in Islam at all.
May Allah forgive you for what has already happened by ignorance. Ameen.