Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Her family did not like that I held her hand, so I want a divorce

Asalam u elekum...

I married to a girl (Just Nikah)... We saw each other a day before our Nikah..  After nikah when I hold her hand, her family did not like that. They live in America and I live in UK. Before nikah I had a plan to settle in America but when I saw their (her aunties and dad) behaviour I changed my mind and told my wife to come to London after she finish her studies.

Now they want me to settle in America and even my wife says the same thing. My question is: is it a sin if I give her divorce? I have never had a physical relationship with her. Please tell me what does Islam says about it.


- Fawad

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4 Responses »

  1. asalamu alaikum

    bro jus cos of that you wanna get a divorce? in islam after marriage you can hold her, kiss her etc if you think about it most of your time will be spent with your wife not her parents, and im sure her family aint gonna follow you around to see what you doing. you can get a divorce but i think that is a lame excuse. jus say you happen to get married again and you happen to be in a similar situation what are you gonna do? divorce her too?

    if you keep giving up for petty things like this then there will be no chance for a successful marriage.. either way hope things work out.

    ma salama

  2. Go for it Ahmed, 10 out of 10, lol

  3. thx sis z 🙂

  4. Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

    Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah

    It sounds as if your marriage has challenges from the start. It is difficult to marry someone who lives in a different country. One of you will have to leave all that you know and go to a strange place and start over. This can cause a lot of stress for both of you. Imagine the sadness of the family, thinking that their daughter will be moving across the Atlantic Ocean to be with you.

    I am curious to know what brought you together and how you decided to marry. I am less concerned about her family being unhappy that you held your wife's hand. It may be that they are extremely conservative and public displays of affection, even among married people, is disapproved of by them. This is a very small thing and should not be a reason for you to want to divorce your wife. Even thinking the word "divorce" is really shameful at this time and you should repent to Allah for considering this for a trivial matter. It may be that in your heart you are experiencing regret for the marriage and are seeking an excuse to divorce, and Allah knows best.

    Open communication is what will save you, that, and adhering to the Qur'an and Sunnah. You should first of all write down the reasons you chose this particular woman for your wife. If you find that she is mashAllah a pious Muslimah, that she is a good woman, then you should praise Allah and have warm feelings towards her relatives for raising her to be a good woman. Put aside any doubts because those are the whisperings of Satan. Satan loves nothing more than to divide people, and he is starting early because there is some weakness in you that allows his evil whisperings to get into your head and give you negative thoughts. Put these thoughts out of your mind. Talk to your wife on the phone or online, and be loving and affectionate to her. Talk to your in-laws in a kind, respectful manner - kill them with kindness. You will find that over time inshAllah they will warm to you and you will develop real affection for them.

    Marriage is not something to toy with. It is a lifelong commitment, and you have the responsibility of setting the example of being a strong Muslim husband. Discuss short and long term goals with your wife. Where will you live? Budget so that you can visit relatives in the other country, whichever country you end up living in. Don't assume things will just magically "work out". Don't be ashamed to talk about financial issues because this causes a lot of problems. You can make it work if you WANT to. If you are just playing with this lady, you owe it to her to let her go now, before you have marital relations, so she can get on with her life. If you truly wish to be married and you are committed to her, then don't get mad over stupid stuff. Be a man. Be mature. Be the Khalifah of your house and lead with strength, honor, and kindness. Follow the example of our beloved Prophet, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him. If you do this, then you will deserve the best in this world and the next. And Allah knows best.

    Fi Aman Allah,


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