Help me please, the guilt is hurting me
Aslam alaikum sister, I was in a haram relationship for 1 month but I talked to the guy about everyday for about 4 or 5 months. Also I ended it because of the guilt and knowing what I did was wrong. I have been feeling guilty everyday for about 2 months. How do I get rid of the guilt myself?
I feel horrible for what I did. It was only on the phone that we would conversate but once I got out of the house to see him without my hijab and kissed him on the cheek. I want forgiveness and I want guilt to go away. My parents or family do not know. Also his male friend was there.
What should I do? I have been more religious and I´m proud of myself for that but I still feel guilty towards myself.
One more question: When I get married, should I tell my husband about what I have done?
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Sister islam123, Wa alaykum as-salam,
It sounds like you have already made your tawbah for what you did. Briefly, the conditions for tawbah or repentance are as follows:
1 – Giving up the sin immediately.
2 – Regretting what has happened in the past and asking forgiveness from Allah.
3 – Resolving sincerely not to go back to it.
4 – Making amends to those whom you have wronged, or asking for their forgiveness.
In your case, you should do all of the above points except number 4, as you did not harm anyone but yourself. If you have done so, then try to put the matter behind you and trust that Allah has forgiven your sin. He is Al-Ghafoor (The Most Forgiving).
Guilt is not necessarily a bad thing because it functions as a reminder not to commit the sin again. But don't get carried away with your guild. Do your tawbah, and resolve to do better in the future Insha'Allah.
There is no need to tell anyone else about what happened, whether your family, friends or future husband Insha'Allah. Leave it between you and Allah.
Another point is that you should cut off your relationship with this boy. I assume you have already done so. Stop talking to him on the phone, and certainly do not meet him, as there is no benefit in it and it will only lead to further sin. Part of a sincere tawbah is to leave the things that led to the sin in the first place.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear Sister islam 123,
I also agree with what brother Wael has advised you. Please do follow what he has suggested. I just wanted to post a link for you here that brother Wael has provided in another post; it is regarding concealing one's past sins. InshAllah, it will be of benefit to you.
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/boasting-about-sins/
Thank you for adding that link.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
No problem brother.
I've been waiting a whole day but my post is still pending.
The wait to have your post published is between one and two months. I know your situation is difficult, but so is everyone's. We will publish your post in turn, Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor