Dua to make my husband financially strong so that he quit playing lotto.
Asslam O Alaikum,
My husband is a very nice person he never even smoke in his life but I don't know how he got involved in playing lotto and put in his mind that he will win and he is spending more money then he afford on lotto. So, I am really worried I know we are not financially stable so I want to know dua to make him financially strong so he forget about lotto.
aabbi.
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Wa alaikum assalaam,
Sister there is, of course, not specific dua for such a scenario. The deen is not like a drug store where you get specific prescriptions for specific illnesses. However, of course many duas have been narrated to us through the Prophet (SAW) instructing us on how to ask Allah what and which dua is best to recite at what time.
There are duas for those who are experiencing heartache, anxiety, difficulties etc, and I would recommend you to get a small booklet by the name of "The fortress of the Muslim" which is an authentic collection of prayers narrated to us from Quran/Hadith.
Do dua and ask Allah what you want , speak your heart out to him without necessarily feeling the need that if you were to speak it in Arabic or in a specific wording, that is guaranteed to be heard. After every prayer atleast, ask Allah swt to guide your husband on the right path and help him leave this bad habit and sin inshallah.
What you can do is perhaps show your husband verses and hadiths that talk about gambling and its prohibition in the deen. You haven't mentioned what his understanding is of the issue..if he even knows that Lotto is a form of gambling and so it is haraam? He needs to know this if he doesn't . Maybe be discreet about it if you feel he will only get defensive if you bring it up to his face that he is sinning..maybe leave an internet page open with the Quranic verse on gambling and the loss for those who do indulge in it? Maybe he will read it to himself and feel guilty and stop.
I'm just trying to suggest ways that are not only practical but will hopefully produce some results too instead of him getting defensive perhaps or not talking your word seriously as many a times men in a marriage dont want to listen to their wife advising them, be that conciously or subconciously.
Wa'Allaho alim.
Was salaam
salaam waleikum waragmatoelah hibrakatoe dear sister,
How are you doing ? How is your health ? Your family ? I am doing great.
Well this is going to be a new topic for me to reply on so let me do my best for you.
Your Husband you are saying he is a very nice person becomes he never smoked ? (I know what you mean sister) But the real question is how is his imaan and deen ? Nobody can be the perfect muslim and always be the best (except the prophet peace be upon him) But we can follow his example to the best of our abilities, that priviledge we have gotten from Allah soebhaan wataa'Aalah.
First of all you have to acknowledge that you cannot make him stop doing anything beause that power does not belong to you, but to Allah.
What you can do here is have an influence on his actions and behaviour.
The thing is Womans act and react upon emotions. So if you are going to confront your husband you will obviously show emotions first of all
*Because he's your husband
*Because you love him
*Because you care about him
*Because your a women
Its your natural way of acting and reacting and there is nothing wrong with it sister!!!
If you talk in this manner with your husband, he might and most probably will not take your statement seriously, because of the following reasons
your his wife
He might think your judging
He will obviously see emotions and even though you don't mean it that way he will assume that your reaction or act is ''based'' on emotions which will take away the primary foundation for a message to be received by another which is sincerity.
When a female means somethings she shows emotions she (most) of the time starts crying or emphasize what she is saying to show she means what she is saying.
When a male tries to get his point across he is straight forward, straight to the point and not neccesarily showing emotions.
The main reasons why you in this case cannot confront him
is because this is a delicate case if you would try to be straight forward to him, towards a certain behaviour of his it would come across as an attack
where as in a normal situation for example: you asked him to throw the garbage away. straight forward not circling around it like it's getting full or its so dirty to make him figure out the puzzle. In this case because its a different situation he will understand your point of view.... (just a simple example)
But right now if you do something like this, it would seem more like an attack then a help. Also becomes as my dear sister above pointed out don't want to listen. This is mostly male arrogance.
The reason why I first asked you about his imaan and deen is because if he is a righteous man like the prophet peace and blessings be upon him who also listened to Aisha (ra) peace be unto her. She advised the prophet peace and blessings be upon him many times in situations and the prophet peace and blessings upon him always seemed to listen and act...
Why is this ?
Because the oppinion of a woman matters
But for a man to actually see what she means he has to understand himself, his position and women.
You see im not saying its easy for a women to obey men I am saying that they have a guidance because its told to them to obey their husbands.
But men don't have that specifically they have the sunnah of the prophet peace and blessings be upon him, but nowadays we neglect the sunnah so much that these problems arrise. One of them is bad communication with your spouse.
If after all of this you have understood where your position is right now. Then there are certain things you can do to help him.
I am really sorry I am not in possession of more knowledge otherwise I could do some more research and give you hadiths, because I wanted to advise you that you could withhold certain things from him.
Im not saying withhold sex, That isn't even allowed I think ? Because both spouses have a right over each other.
Im not saying to ignore him, because if you ignore a man for 1 week he can do that for 2 weeks, so this will only backfire.
Do the thing that men cannot do anything against, be a loving, kind, warm and fuzzy wife. But also show your disturbed by his behaviour in your actions....
For example: When you are bringing the plate of food to him, normally you'd put it down with a smile ? This time just put it down and walk away dont say anything. He will ask you what is wrong if he notices or cares.
Dont answer, tell him to eat his food. Don't ever argue with a man who hasn't eaten yet.
After he has eaten, go sit with him and tell him you love him but you are also hurt from within.
Like I said if he cares he'll ask what you mean.
Tell him how he would like it if you would hurt yourself.
He would probably say he doesn't like it, I hope.
Then ask him how he would feel
(same as you right now).
Then tell him if he can't understand how you are feeling right now.
That he is dis-obeying Allah and that he is hurting your feelins, because he is hurting himself.
Now you see you created a different case/scenario in which you are able to confront him a little, which will make him think about his actions. Now just give him a small kiss on the cheeks and tell him you love him and don't want him to hurt himself.
And be quiet from now on. Because the message was sent. If it is received only depends on him and Allah of course.
Another way you could try, but not always succesfull because of male arrogance they don't like other people telling them what to do.
Approach his mom...if you have a good relationship with her. (I know my mom..omg if she tells me to do something I just cannot say noo...)
Explain his mom the situation and ask her to help you. If he is obedient towards his parents he will listen.
Its better to bring the mom over physically but if she lives overseas then through the phone won't do much good....or it might....who knows.... Just be carefull if he is a really arrogant person then he might get angry at you for trying to ''change'' him....
Try to avoid the change conversation in which he will blame you that you are trying to change him.
the most important one of course, the dua's ask Allah to help you. I dont have a specific dua, but Allah has given you a tongue and mind so make use of that and just ask ALLAH for the help you need.
Now look I don't know your husband but I will be honest.
I always depends on the person's imaan & deen (character). If he is a practising muslim, sorry but a practising muslim who truly follows the prophet peace and blessings be upon him is a humble person and he will listen to you and admit he is wrong.
But if he is not a practising muslim then you have to ask yourself, where fault actually lies and if you yourself are also practising islam.
Please forgive me if I have said anything wrong or hurted you in any way this is not my intention and I wish the best for you.
May Allah guide you, bless you and do whats best for you, Ameen.
I hope I have been of any help and All glory and thanks belong to Allah only and none else.
Salaam waleikum waragmatoelah hibrakatoe.