In-laws indirectly breaking marriage
I got married to my husband 2 years ago and since then I have hardly lived just him and me alone with some privacy. He has a little brother who has been living with us forever. I had him move out for a bit but he is wanting to come back and live with us. His parents are constantly asking me to look for a bigger place so that we all can live together like a "family" . He is working so he can afford his own place. His parents come and visit us frequently too so we hardly get time for each other alone. They are interfering in a lot of things. My husband is perfectly ok with his bro moving in and does not see the problem. I have a small baby and I want some privacy plus his bro is extremely dependent on me for food and house chores.
I am not getting any personal space and I think this decision is being imposed on me (they are not giving me a choice)which is playing havoc with my mind and my marriage. I have tried telling my husband how I feel but he does not understand. Please advise. Thank you.
Hadiya
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Salamualaikum sister,
Please do not rush and say the in laws are trying to break the marriage, until you have substantial sources to say so. Additionally, respecting your husband's decision and abiding by it is your duty. It becomes clear from the lives of the Sahaabah that if a husband did not like a person, even if he or she be the clesest relative including one's parent, the wife should stop him or her from entering her house.
If the boy who lives with you is someone your husband wants to take care of, then you should do it. As far as the in-laws are concerned, they become an indirect responsibility if they are dependent on your husband. But you say they visit you frequently, so I suppose they have a different home to live in and intend to stay with you and your husband. If your husband intends to stay with them it becomes your responsibility to accept it without question.
If you are finding it difficult to take care of your baby and do the other chores, then you should probably consider having a maid (and Allah knows best - if anyone finds it wrong, please comment) who would help you in the chores.
Regarding the personal space, then you need to make it, it does not come just like that 🙂 insha Allah, my Lord will Help you. You need not worry, and just have patience. Do not get frustrated over the happenings, just try to keep your husband pleased, and insha Allah, you'll find what you need.
wasslamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem Saifullah