Jahez (Dowry) and child custody
Divorce.
i am going to take khula from my husband because he is a patient of depression.
can i take my jahaze back or not? as i demand for my jahaze my husband is asking for my child back to him.
they are not ready to give me khula.
- Madiha
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Sister Madiha, Assalamualaikum,
You must know that dowry is forbidden to be taken by a man from a woman. It involves copying the Hindus. This culture is a part of Hindus of India, which has been adopted into the Muslim cultures locally. Unfortunately, surrounding culture has a huge impact on oneself and one's practices. It is not allowed for him to keep this money, even if you are not separated.
Child custody is something you may have to deal with, legally. But in order to avoid complications, inform him that that money is not his and it is not befitting for him to use it. And you will not hand your child over to him. Then let go of the money. If he fears Allah, he will return the money, too. Otherwise, I believe you hold your child more dear.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
salaam
Dear sister as regards to the khula you are demanding it go through your local mosque and they will deal with it if you think they will be biased then go to another mosque and they will deal with it they may charge a bit for it and at the most it takes 3 months quicker if you have the english divource and as regards to child custody it would help if you could let us know which country your in to better advise but don't let go of your child if your in the uk go to a solicitor or local advice centre (CAB) and they will guide you.
allah hafiz
If your husband's depression is the main reason for wanting divorce, has he sought treatment for it? Mental illness can be extremely distressing and disabling for the individual and the family, but with treatment and support it can often be managed well and the person is then able to do everything a non-affected person can.
If your husband's depression were treated, would you still want divorce?
Very important point, thank you. Dear sister, what if you were the one suffering from depression? How do you think it would affect you if your husband were to abandon you at this difficult time in your life?
Don't you think it's better to stay with your husband and support him as he tries to get well? You have a child together. Don't be too quick to give up on your marriage.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM
WHAT IS KHULA?
If a woman does not like her husband or think that they cannot live in harmony, she has the right to get Separated from her husband (Qullah) by paying back her Mahar & gifts given to her by her husband & get herself free from the Marriage bond. it is better that whatever the husband has given to her he should not take back more than that. Allah has said that. If you cannot live in harmony, better you should get Separated by taking back all that you have given to you wife”
(Al-Bakhra-229)
Wife of Sabith bin khais came to prophet Mohammed (pbuh) & Said ya rasool Allah (pbuh), I find no fault in character & behavior of my husband, but I don't like him. then Aap SAW (pbuh) asked her that, what sabith has given to you? she said garden. then Aap SAW (pbuh) asked are you willing to return to the garden. she said “yes”!
[PROPHET (pbuh) told to sabith take back your garden & give your wife first talaq (Bukhari-5273)
A wife should not take decision, alone & ask her husband for Talaq such an act is haram. Even thought her husband has given her all the facilities and did not harass her, then question of separation should not ARISE (Saheeh Sunan Abu Dawood-2226)
In Such Cases the wife who demands Talaq from her husband, even thought the husband has not harassed her, in that case the perfume of heaven haraam for wife.
Aoa,
I was married last year. after marriage i came to know that my wife is mentally ill and is under psychiatric treatment. My in laws didn`t tell me about this at the time of marriage and always lied to me that she will be alright with in a month or so but after a year she is still not in normal condition.
The problem is that i have twin babies and my in-laws are keeping them in their house and keep on insisting that if you want to divorce our daughter than divorce her but we will not handover babies to you , as you have no legal right on them.
I want to know that can i claim my babies legally keeping in mind that their mother has mental problems.
thanks and regards
Aamir