Parents not agreeing to even talk to the guy..
Hello,
I have a problem and would like to get some advice on it. I have a friend, a very good friend, who recently proposed to me after talking to his family. His family is fully agreed and happy for us. My family isn't even agreeing to talk to anyone in his family.
The problem is that we met at a place by accident and then we started talking on the internet and through email. They aren't liking the fact that we talked so much and that too online mostly. I have met him once and we talked on the phone few times too. I think that they should at least talk to someone in his family before deciding.
I like this guy a lot and I know how perfect he is.
What is your advice on this? Thanks for your help.
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the only one u shud b asking help from RIGHT NOW is ALLAH.then be patient.and whatevr happens after that is from Allah.and u just gotto accept it coz ALLAH knows wat is best for u.even if it hurts so much u want to cry.sacrifice ur feelings for ALLAH.ask urself y we were created.
Thanks for your response. I did leave it to Allah and Alhumdullilah my mother agreed to talk to his sister and now we are waiting to meet his family when possible. thanks.
Salaam, if you are under 18 years of age, your parents have very good cause to behave this way and make this decision as you have met a random person and put yourself in a great deal of danger by keeping contact and sharing details, and showing a great deal of immaturity by wanting to marry someone you only know online.
If you are over 18 years, then you must be patient and wait for the dust to settle and wait for everything to be calm, behave as a good person, a good daughter and do well in your life and keep a bright positive head on and play the part of a happy, healthy , devout and devoted person and once you have been this way, and built these happy - reapproach your parents in a sensible manner and explain to them that you would like them to meet this person and see what happens
Peace
L
Im over 18 years and my post could have seemed naive because i was worried when i wrote it. I told my mother about it and explained what i think about him. She agreed to talk to his sister and now we are waiting to meet his family when possible. Thanks for your help.
Asalaamualaikum,
You said: "I like this guy a lot and I know how perfect he is."
'R2' - from this sentence alone, I sense a great deal of naiivety on your behalf. You hardly know this person and you are claiming that he is 'perfect'. No-one is perfect and if you put anyone on such a high pedestal - especially a potential spouse then you are setting yourself for a big let down.
You seem to be young and naiive. I do not know how you are in relation to your deen, as you did not mention anything about this. Focus on your deen, pray your salaah, improve and strengthen your character and if from the little that you know of this person, you are satisfied that he is pious and of good character, then ask a family member to accompany you to see him. It may be that after you have met him, you may think differently.
Talking to someone on the internet, or by phone or by email is not enough to base a decision of marriage on. You need to speak to reliable people who know him in order to obtain character references. How do you know anything about him apart from what he has told you himself?
Your parents may be worried about your relationship with this boy for various reasons. Internet relationships may be becoming widespread, but they are still not accepted or understood by many of the elder generation. Your parents may also be worried about whether you and this boy have been adhering to Islamic etiquettes of conversing with the opposite sex.
Yes, ideally your parents should at least meet the boy and his family before making a decision. But prior to that, it maybe a good for you to be sure about what you are looking for in a spouse and to ask yourself whether your idea of a spouse is in line with Islamic guidelines or not.
I do know this person. I apologize for writing immaturely because I extremely worried at the time I wrote about it. I know this guy since 5 years and we were really good friends, so we do know each other very well. I have been praying to Allah about this matter because I know He is the only one who can help me. My mother agreed to talk to his sister after I told her and everything is fine Alhumdullilah.
I have observed him very closely and know him since a very long time which is why I thought about marrying him. Its not like a bollywood movie love, we have mutual understanding and care for each other. I am very aware of the Islamic guidelines and I hope that my parents agree to our marriage after meeting his family because I want their blessings in every thing I do.
Thanks for your help.