Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Muslim Filipina wants to marry Pakistani Muslim, please advise.

Polygamy

Second Marriage

Assalam Alaikum,

I check this website and it gives me interest to ask for your advice. I am Filipina Christian before and now I accept Islam after I study the culture and gives me the idea to accept it because I know in this new life Allah will give me good life. But before I fully accept Islam, I have a Pakistani boyfriend and we love each other. He told me "as soon as you accept Islam I will marry you the same day" and because of that I study more about Muslim Cultures and I understand not totally all but we can say medium. After I make shahada, I told him I am now a Muslim Women and he is so proud of me.

But the thing is after 2 weeks, I just test him by asking If he already have first wife and I'm correct he told me he have first wife but before 2 years he told me they don't have any communication and his wife leave him and his 2 kids alone, and i accept it with all my heart because I love him so much. After he go in his Consulate here in UAE they say to him he cannot marry me without the permission of the first wife because it is under Pakistan Law. But when i search about Islamic Culture regarding second marriage, Allah accept it as long as the man is capable to make justice for both wife.

His family already accept me. But we have different situation, can you give me some advice? We want to marry but how?

Whiterose10


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46 Responses »

  1. If your friend his wife his family and children accept you and he do life time relation ship witch you no problem you can marry with that man ,If schoatin is wrong donot do as .Allah help you and khada hafiz

  2. Assalaaamualaikam

    We can't provide you with legal advice as we aren't legal professionals; if you and your boyfriend are concerned about the advice given by the Consulate, I'd advise speaking with a lawyer who specialises in Philippines law, ideally one who knows the details of the specific legal code for Muslims in the Philippines, as there are special provisions made in this.

    I'm a bit confused about whether he is still married to his first wife, if they have separated but not legally divorced? Has he given talaq (Islamic divorce)? If he told you they were divorced and this is not the case, I'd have concerns about his character and whether he has been honest about other things.

    Please remember that, as a Muslimah (Alhamdulillah!) you should not be spending time alone with a non-mahram male, and he is not your mahram until nikah.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  3. honey hes playing you hes with his wife and playing around with u hes playing u but there are other men brothers who arent like that find them.

  4. Read very very carefully,
    Alhumdulillah! Happy that you revert to Islam. Masha'Allaah! May the Almighty Allaah Make you strong in your faith and belief. Amen! And all Muslims around the world. Amen!

    Since, you are in UAE and I know how the laws regulates there in UAE. They make the conditions really worse. But since they have a very strong code of law. And yes they follow it very strictly. My advice is that it is better for you not to marry him now. Wait for few months more. [That is one part].

    Why? Reason? The reason is very simple. What he saw after your reverting to Islam is obvious. He want you to be a better person. Because in Islam when you follow the teachings with your full conscience and by heart you will eventually become a good human being. Which you did masha'Allaah! Now, the situation is critical it might be possible that because of your reverting back to Islam, he wants you and it is not wrong by any angle. [That is the second part].

    The thing you need to know is whether he will really manage to make you happy both financially and mentally after marriage. Just see the difference he told you that "2 years" period. The probability is still valid that he might be good at making things up. You must focus that. What if he is not what he seems to be. What if he is only interested in you physically. This "What if" raises valid points. He might be very clever guy. [That is the most important part you should consider before making any decisions further].

    He will tell you to come to Pakistan. Before he do that make sure. He show you valid documentation of divorce from his first wife. And if suppose he produces the documents of divorce from his first wife. Tell him to attest the documents for you. When he send you the documents over the internet verify the documents by yourself. And the verification body you need to contact. They will ask you the verification number there in Pakistan. Anyways, these are the things you need to consider later. But above all don't go to Pakistan first. First you collect the papers from him for your safety. He might be cheating on you. And if he says okay I am providing you papers but it will take some time it means that he has not divorced.

    In Islam we have something called "istikhara" which is a prayer you can do directly to Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) for your queries which you are unable to "DECIDE". I suggest you do that. Insha'Allaah you will be guided (directly) by Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) that if he is really a genuine person or not.

    May Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) Help you Always. Amen!

    And keep a distance from him. No meetings alone. It is not allowed in Islam. Be very very very careful. He might be cunning.

    Best regards,
    Allaah Knows the Best.

    • Walaikumusalam warehmatullah e wabarakatuhu!

      • Dear All,

        Just answer my question that why everyone trying to discourage her besides no one know about her boyfriend how much he is sincere with her every body is just confusing her without knowing the reality and definitely she knows everything about her boyfriend that's why they both fall in Love with each other and finally they decided to make marriage.
        Please if someone knows the legal process of make marriage in UAE just advice them.

        Best Regards....

  5. Friend plz advice me...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  6. The rule in Pakistan has been changed. Permission from first wife is not necessary anymore. However, it will not be correct ethically and the person should inform and ask for her wife's permision.

  7. I'm a filipina was fell in love to a Pakistani married guy. We're planning to get married but still have pending labor case. We can be married here in uae even we have pending case. What is the procedure for marriage. Were both Muslims

  8. Dear sister,
    There is no law about that.if his family accept
    You.you can marry with him.my neighbor in pakistan
    His second wife is phillpina.they are together almost
    5 years.and they are very happy.so there is no law
    If he loves you.he want to marry you even he is already
    Married.so he will keep u happy always.Allah bless you
    Sister.

  9. My name is saarah i want marry a Pakistani boy i want also to convert in to islam but i don't know the laws and regulations of dubai how can we complete all the procedure properly please guide me..

  10. Assalamu Alaikum
    I am muslim man trying to get married to Muslim filipina in UAE. Could someone please tell me where to go? Thanks and God bless you.

  11. Dear I'm really to say that I'm writing very late upon your matter.
    your matter is not so difficult or complicated what ever you did to get marriage with that guy it was necessary for you and you already done it.
    your Boyfriend is Muslim and he should know very well rules of Islam you are a new Muslim, in Islam there is allow to get marriage at a time four but there are some rules need to be follow.
    1) Man should be capable to provide all the facilities equally in all wife's included (Mehar)
    2) Man can support financially all the wife's.
    3) Man should be able for wife demands.
    4) Man should be get permission letter from first wife for second marriage (for third marriage he should be get permission letter from first both wife's.

    • Hai everyone i am rona i have bf pakistani we loved each but the problem is her family make him engaged but he never loved that girl he always cry but me i need to accept that he will get marry soon but he say to me he never marry that girl .theres any way to brake up his engagement in Pakistan??? I need ur advice ...

      • Hi. i want to talk to you. pls email me
        we have same problem

        • We do not allow the exchange of private contact information, sorry.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Hi i need someone to advice me. I do have a boyfriend which is pakistan and im a filipina.. I was just wondering if he's just playing me or anything. Anybody out there could message me and talk to me on facebook I really need someone to talk because theres so many questions running in my head.

          • Ann, a real Muslim who is serious about marriage would not have a girlfriend, as it is not allowed in Islam. Instead he would propose marriage to you straightaway. So yes, it's quite possible that he is just playing games. However, it's impossible to say without more information. Please register and submit your question as a separate post, and tell describe the situation. What country are you in, what makes you think he is playing you, etc?

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • its been 2 months now. I am just wondering how did it go? how are u rona? were u able to get any advise u needed?

        • i am fine ,.theres a way to break a engagement in Pakistan ??

          • rona, to answer you quickly, it depends on what you mean by engagement. If you have already had the nikah, then you must ask for talaq or initiate khulah. If not, then you can simply inform the boy that you are cancelling the engagement and are no longer interested. If you need further advice, please submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  12. Hi,

    I have a Pakistani boyfriend and he already introduced me to his family but still I don't feel any security from him. People are saying so many bad things about pakistani boys. My boyfriend is a nice guy not as sweet as Filpino boys but he respect and did not do anything to harm me. He also wants to marry me but I am not sure if he is really serious about it. I want to learn more about relationship to pakistani boy (he is from okara) and his family.

    • Hi sha..if he really loves u he will make nikah to you right away not always saying and giving you hope that he will marry you..some pakistani men is already engaged to their country..they just having a good time and making girlfriends while they are still not yet marry...my husband is pakistani,and we have nikah and we did not make it too long time to wait,he is just waiting for me when i want to have nikah...if the men is just like your boyfriend,did not even introduce you to the family,you are just wasting your time..coz in Islam not allowed to be together or having a child outside marriage..that's why if he really wants to marry you he will do it now not later....see robin padilla and mariel it did not take a long time to have nikah...nikah in Islam is too much easy,just have a witness and go to masjid...

      • Hi kiran' 🙂
        Can I have or no. Please? Coz I have more questions about Pakistani man and how to get marry. And if its possible to got marry if I'm here in UAE and he was in Pakistan. Try mobile? Thankyou

      • Where that masjid I can go because we both also Muslim but don't know how to get married. Until now plz help me.

  13. Simple
    go pakistan on visit visa and get married there no need of any critical documents and and any permission Allah is almighty who permitted
    my wife also filipinia.

    • that one is good? Is it that easy to get married in pakistan?, because I'm planning to get married also here k. UAE with Pakistani guybut its a very long processing and so many documents ,but the thing is he doesn't have any contact now with the first wife so how he will get permission from her ? He can't contact her

    • hi brother
      can u contact me through email. i want to get information that how u bring ur wife in pakistan and marry there my gf is filipino christian she accept islam but now for marriage in uae need too much documents from phil and from here uae also kindly tell me the procedure of marry in pakistan with filipino so i can bring her there and marry and start our life in a legal way of islam under the nikah waiting for ur answer through email ************

      • mohsin, we do not allow posting private contact info, sorry. If the brother has information for you he can post it here.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. If ur boyfriend already divorce then no need to take permission from first wife becouse she is not his wife anymore just permission from parents if they agree no one can stop u to marry with him even law of pakistan.

  15. The legal way for the person to marry the Philipina girl is to get a written permission from his wife, then get the permission approved from his consulate or from the local Union council and also attested from the Department of Foreign Affairs Pakistan.
    Then only the UAE govt. will allow him to have a second marriage.
    This is the right way to do it.

    The person can also contact Pakistan Consulate in UAE to ask them what documents do they need to issue a NOC for a re-marraid and fulfill those requirements.
    Hope this helps.
    Sam

  16. I want married want I ak Muslim my name is kamran bashir I am pakistani work in uae I am 25 year old who want to married me my whatsapp number content me this number *****

    • Kamran, we do not allow matrimonial ads on our forum. You could try one of the matrimonial services, such as Zawaj.com, Muslima.com, HalfOurDeen.com, etc.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  17. Hi! I need some advice what we want to do and where we can ask how to get married wneh. I'm Christian before I have Pakistani boyfriend his mom ask me to embrace Islam so we can get married but honestly I embrace islam with out there knowing then my boyfriend was very happy when he knows I'm already Muslim.now we search how to get married we both single.I have my nso livebirth and cenomar.please help us what we need to do.

    Thankful.
    Ameenah.

  18. My dear my name is manzoor Ahmad dear about ur situation there is not any law in Pakistan about asking to married in our first wife Allah is allow 4 marriage for men so just follow what is in Islam and simple way is quran what Quran and our prophet Mohammad s.a.w.w is messages for us and Pakistan is a Muslim country and no one is asking about this. Yes if husband want 2nd married and his first wife still live with his so he will ask to his wife but this is respect but if he divorced so in Islam if u give divorce to ur wife that time ur relationship everything is finish on the spot. So the way is very simple if u are in UAE or any other country or if ur bf live in the same country it's very easy not difficult or bf is in Pakistan tell to ur bf go to online check there is online marriage certificate just only need ur passport and I'd copy and ur born address that's it when certificate is ready they will call to you and asking about like you are agree to married this or that person after calling they will issue to you certificate procedure is very simple and easy
    If you want any questions plz ask.

    • Is that really required to provide the permission latter from first wife because sometimes you want to marry but wife not allowing you to do that

  19. GOOD DAY TO ALL,

    I NEED SOME INFORMATION REGARDING HOW TO GET MARRIED HERE IN UAE, I HAVE A PAKISTANI BOYFRIEND AND I AM A FILIPINO BUT WE ARE BOTH MUSLIM, MY CONCERN IS HE HAD A FIRST WIFE AND THEY ARE STILL OK, HE PLAN TO MAKE NIKAH FOR ME BUT THE ISSUE IS WHAT IS THE REQUIREMENTS THAT WE NEED EXACTLY TO PRESENT FROM UAE COURT TO PROCEED THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY.

    PLS. ADVICE ME IF YOU HAVE SOME IDEA REGARDING THAT.

    THANK YOU,

    • There it goes again....

      I live in the UAE. Although I'm just a university student, I've heard tonnes of these Filipino women having flings with Arab or Pakistani men in the UAE. I mean y'all are literally everywhere!! There isn't a place where I don't see filipino women-Saleswomen,waitress,nurse-you name it. With all the make up and short dresses they adorn themselves in, they're likely to attract men around. UAE has a lot of Pakistani men working here while their family lives back in their home country

      MashaAllah you're a Muslim. But I strongly suggest you to rethink about this whole situation. Men can be big bastards. Are you sure his first wife is okay with your marriage? Are you blindly believing his sweet words just because you're too lost in his eyes or some crappy bullshit. Don't move forward until and unless you personally talk to his wife on the phone or even better, take a short trip to Pakistan this summer to meet his whole family otherwise you'll regret hammering your own foot. Most men like this treat you as someone to fulfill their needs in the mean time that he's away from his wife. And seems like you're too lenient with him hence why you "believe" him so easily.

      And for marriage, read this

      http://dubaiofw.com/how-to-get-married-dubai-filipinos/

      Have a good day sister.

  20. hi everyone

    i am ruby catamora i have boyfriend ALMOST 1year and 4months,he is muslim and me also muslim already,i want to asked about the rules and requiresments here dubai about married?its possible and easy all document?me and boyfriend same single.

    thank you wait responses

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