Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What’s the status of our marriage?

Please help. Approximately last August, me and my husband separated. We both were under immense amounts of pressure and stress for various reasons, so I asked him for a divorce. He sent me a letter stating he was divorcing me, however there were no witnesses. He then applied for a civil divorce as well.

Recently we have spoken with each other and realize that we both were not in the right frame of mind. He believes that because he only wrote the letter once without witnesses, and was under stress, we are not divorced. I could really do with some Islamic advice?


Tagged as: , , , ,

7 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    As far as I understand, not all schools of thought require "witnesses" for a divorce to be valid. To err on the side of caution I would presume the divorce he gave you is valid. After the issuance of a divorce, he has three months to take you back. During those three months, even touching you with desire or telling you he wants to take you back counts, and your marriage would continue from that point.

    However, if that didn't happen and the three months ended, then the divorce becomes final. The issue here is whether that's the first, second, or third time he's divorced you. If it is the first or second time, and your divorce is final, you can still remarry with a new marital contract. However, if you've already done this twice before the incident you're referring to, then the divorce is permanent. You cannot reconcile unless you have married another, consummated with that husband, and then divorced him (all with sincere intentions to make THAT marriage work) since your divorce from your first husband (or do so in the future).

    -Amy Editor

  2. OP: we both were not in the right frame of mind

    That could be important......personally I think it should OK for you too get back together. Did your stress increased after you separated.

    If you ask scholars you may get different answers.

    How would your husband feel if you have to marry some one else, consummate marriage and then divorce to get remarried?

    In countries like Pakistan many Imams offer that service also, they call it halala.

    • Salaams,

      Halalas are actually haraam, this is not advised.

      You should also clarify what you mean by "getting back together". There's a difference in doing it with or without a new marital contract. From what I see, they would need a new contract at this point.

      -Amy Editor

    • SVS,

      Those halala centres you are talking about are not an Islamic practice. I hope you know what what they practice there is disgusting. They have even gone so far as to find blind imams to perform those "halalas" so that there is no risk in the man falling for the women and refusing to divorce her. The way that you are conveying this message really is misleading people in a very serious and haram way!

      Entering a marriage with full and clear intention to divorce is prohibited in Islam.

  3. Asalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu,

    • I removed your comment as there was some incorrect information in it. I appreciate your desire to help, but you must be careful to understand the fiqh thoroughly before dispensing advice on such matters.

      Wael Editor

  4. As Amy said, witnesses are not necessarily required for divorce.

    As far as your state of mind and the stress and pressure you were under, does anyone get divorced when they are happy and peaceful? It's a given that someone who gets divorced is stressed, unhappy and not in their normal state of mind. That doesn't affect the validity of the divorce.

    However, as Amy also said, if this is your first divorce then you can remarry your ex-husband with no problem. Since your 'iddah is obviously complete, you must have a new nikah, with all the requirements of nikah.

    Wael Editor

Leave a Response