I suspect my husband is cheating on me, I love him, what should I do?
Asalam alaikum
I'm 24 and it's been 1 and a half year of my marriage. I have 2 months old daughter. I think that my husband is cheating on me. A few months ago during my pregnancy I have been having dreams that he is cheating on me. Then one day I found it.. I was going through his fone and read his conversations with other girls on social websites. I confronted him, he promised that he wont do this again. Now again he is doing suspicious acts and again I'm having such dreams. I have talked to him but he doesn't admit it now and there is not a happy relationship between us. I love him and I dont want to leave him. Please give me some advice what should I do?
-Faiza
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Salaam sister.
Subha'allah sister, for your husband to cheat on you or even talk to other girls while your pregnant is unacceptable and now that you have given birth to his child and still doing so is shocking. No women need to feel like you are right now sister, specially in this time that you need the support of your husband most.
I am just like yourself 24 and recently gave birth, so i can totally understand your feelings of hurt, hopelesness.
Firstly, I really want to congratulate you on your little bundle of you, May allah bless your newborn and allow it grown to be a strong and healthy baby insha'allah.
Now back to the topic, your are talking about dream sister, you need to understand that sometimes dreams dont really mean anything, and something they are influenced by Shaytan. and the last thing Shaytan wants is to see a happy halaal marriage. As hard as it seems sister please dont try to interprete your dream.
And also know that a cheating partners worst fear is getting caught. If he detects suspicion, he will adjust his behavior to better hide and conceal the affair, making it more difficult for you find out. Speaking of your suspicions will only help him cheat more effectively. Sister also never expect him to say that he cheated, because no man will do so unless they are caught red handed. The chances are that he may have admitted to cheating previously because you caught him out. Cheating complelty damages a realtionship, and your future trust in a person. You should also not assume that he is automatically cheating, because his behaviour has changed. His change of behaviour might come from the stress of being a new parent. So instead of confronting him about his behaviour talk to him, without bringing the whole cheating subject up. He might have perfect reason. If you still continue to feel that he might be cheating, i would chart up his behaviour, his were abouts and anything unusual, keep track of it and you will somehow figure out what he is upto. play detective. I know this sound unhealthy, but I guess this is the only way you could find out. I hope that insha'aallah there is no need for that
Insha'allah sister i would pray for you that everything will work our for you, And insha'allah your suspections didnt really mean anything. I pray to Allah that you marriage grows from strength to strength and showered with love and the joy from your new baby. insha'allah ameen.
xxx
I completely agree with Ikky and would just add that if your suspicions are true then maybe you could ask a sensible, trusted person to speak to him about his behaviour. If he doesn't then sister you should seperate for sometime. Your husband should realize his mistakes and put and end to it.
I forgot to also mention, and i will add on to what sister rumaysa said. Men dont realise what they have untill its gone. If it did turn to be that your husband is cheating, and he did not do anything about his behaviour clearly shows that he doesnt respect or love you. So in that case dont be a doormate and leave. He is not worth your love sweetheart.
But insha'allah, it will not come to that.
why men cheat any ways.if wife love them heartly then how come they can cheat them.
when a new baby comes its more stress for a woman than a man then how man can get diverted.I hate this.
can we not change all men's thinking
Dear sir,
we are newly married couple....
ranjitha, please log in and write your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, God willing. Thanks.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor