Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Two brief questions about getting married.

Posted by • May 11, 2012 • Printer-friendly
second wifeAOA,

1. Can a man marry without the permission (of his first wife) to take a second marriage or is necessary to ask her?

2. Do you tell any wazifa for marriage?

-rosybouy


Tagged as: , ,

9 Responses »

  1. AmericanMuslim
    May 12, 2012 • 1:06 am

    Assalamu Alaykum, my sister.

    These questions may be brief, but the answers are not simple.
    1. Check this post: http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/my-husband-wants-a-second-wife-i-cant-understand-this/
    which is a very long post with many varying opinions. This topic brings out strong opinions. Be sure to pray and pray again on this. (That goes hand-in-hand with your second question)
    2. I am not well versed in Sufi meditation and prayer, so I don't have a sound basis to respond to this second question.

    May Allah grant you His best.

    - Your Brother

    Reply
  2. ali yousuff
    May 12, 2012 • 1:43 am

    ASSALAMALIKUM-Like yhe aove link for post its long in replies.
    The stand point of Quran is this -
    And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].
    QURAN-SAYS-
    (But if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or what your right hands possess.) The Ayah commands, if you fear that you will not be able to do justice between your wives by marrying more than one, then marry only one wife, or satisfy yourself with only female captives, for it is not obligatory to treat them equally, rather it is recommended. So if one does so, that is good, and if not, there is no harm on him. In another Ayah, Allah said,
    (You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire) [4:129]. Allah said,
    An Explanation of Sooratun-Nisaa’ (4:129)

    Informing the 1st wife is better than facing the distortion and quarreling later as you will loose the peace of mind in both places here and there -
    As husband need to stay in one house one day and one night and the other also equally same time.

    Then comes the point of.Justice. he will get caught with Allah if he does not do the same equally on all points.
    Living comforts,food shelter,entertainment,sex,satisfaction,happiness or else he will have half his body with flesh and half without on the day of the judgement. for being partial between the two.

    Hope this is sufficient for basic idea.
    REGARDS
    ALI YOUSUFF.

    Reply
  3. Sara
    May 12, 2012 • 1:51 am

    W/salaam

    1) I think it is generally agreed that strictly speaking permission from the first wife is not a condition for marriage. So a man does not need permission from his first wife in order to have a valid nikah and marry a second wife. But it is bad adab to not seek her permission first. Remember as Muslims we need to emulate the Rasool (SAW) and treat people well and be aware that those we hurt or wrong will be owed some of our good deeds on the Day of Judgement.

    So for niceness a man should seek permission - it is not obligatory but is far better if he does. Not seeking permission and just marrying ruins the trust between a husband and wife and will also affect the new marriage. Do things properly to avoid sin and also to avoid headache and difficulties of having 2 unhappy wives who feel betrayed, lied to and frustrated.

    2) In Islam the concept of wazifa is not accurate. We can't just recite a 'wazifa' in Arabic to make someone married. Allah swt does what He knows is Best so we should not treat dua like a machine where we follow a routine and expect for the thing we want to happen. At the same time we must ask Allah and trust He will give us what is best.
    There is an authentic dua which is asking Allah swt to grant you a righteous spouse. (To the best of my knowledge anyway.)
    "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring
    the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of the Muttaqun."

    Quraan: Al Furqan.. Ch 25: Ayat 74

    Waallatheena yaqooloona "RABBANA HAB LANA MIN AZWAJINA WATHURRIYYATINA QURRATA
    AaaYUNIN WAIJaaALNA LILMUTTAQEENA IMAMAN"

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    Reply
    • Professor X
      May 12, 2012 • 3:38 am

      Asalaam alaikum,

      I'd just like to point out, that it's not generally agreed about permission being sought or not. The argument that permission is to be sought and that there is even reward behind it is concerned with doing justice to each wife per the Qur'anic ayat and in this perspective doing justice to the first wife.As the man is taking another sexual partner, will have to divide his finances, maintaining both wives, children, etc. and the first wife should know these things.

      I find this point to be quite strong and recommend it highly as it avoids complications in the future.

      Reply
  4. " class="url" rel="ugc external nofollow">Nisa
    May 12, 2012 • 9:41 pm

    salam

    I agree about telling the first wife as an adab. Many men take their second wife secretly then they must hide it from the first one by lying and lying. Don't men feel shy to Allah doing that? Could a man do his ibadet peacefully when his mind mixed between two woman with different needs, situation, ego and ect? One place he acts as the only husband for her but in his mind he must think someone other there who needs him too.

    Allah allows polygamy but women have high sensitiviness and jealousy so why Allah warns men if they are scared not to be fair, one is enough. if a man doesn't get the agreement from the first, he must respect that too because it is not haram /sin leaving it.

    Salam

    Reply
  5. Wael
    May 13, 2012 • 2:36 am

    I agree with Sara, Professor X and Nisa. As far as wazifa, there is no basis in Islam for it. See my comments on this earlier post:

    Wazifa to convince my family to let me marry a girl?

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    Reply
  6. rosybouy
    January 10, 2013 • 9:38 pm

    thanks for the help, anyways me not getting married. just wanted to know the answer for my knowledge.

    Reply
  7. rosybouy
    January 10, 2013 • 9:40 pm

    HI, is any proposal been offered here as well or no service like that, kindly let me know..

    Reply

Leave a Response