Confused – why did my husband take another wife?
I am a Christian who was married to a Muslim man for four years. He lived in Egypt and I in U.S. His visa was denied and we decided to divorce because he said he wanted someone to clean, wash his clothes, iron, wake him up for work, and someone to support him and he knew I would not accept being a co-wife.
Anyways, he married three months ago and asked me to be his second wife. He says he did not marry for love but support. She does not live with him because she has no job in Egypt and he cannot support her.
He supported me when I stayed in Egypt but not his current wife.
Why did he remarry and is asking for a second wife?
- Wondering
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this is so depressing none of us will not no why but from what you said he seems like he is confused and does not know where he stands but hey one thing is for sure if a man really loves his wife he wont take another without a reason and clearly you have stated it he wants a wife who looks after him and supports him,and obviously his second wife does not give him the feeling you gave him so he needs that i dont know why he divorced you maybe he thought he would find love with the other one but well he didnt now he wants you back,but it aint that easy he cant remarry you if he divorced you 3times read verse 230 surah 2 And if he has divorced her (the third time),then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband.Then,If the other husband divorces her,it is no sin on both of them that they reunite. ok? but if he divorced you once or twice he can remarry,but he cant marry you if your not from the people of the book and in the first place he should not have married you as islam only allows a man to marry muslim women Or people of the book meaning if your are a full an righteous christian who follows the bible. if he remarries he should love both every women deserves love. surah 30 verse 21 And amongst his signs is this,that He created for you wives from amongst yourselves,that you might find repose in them,and He has put between you effection and mercy.Verily,in that are indeed signs for people who reflect.
Dear Sister, Allah the almighty God allows a Muslim man to have up to 4 wives at any given point of time. However this law of polygamy in Islam has been wrongly applied and interpreted by some Muslim men & women. One of the conditions for a man to marry another women is that he must act fairly towards his wives. If he is unable to do so then, as what Allah had mentioned in the Quran, marry just one.
From what I briefly understood from you writings is that he is not in a position to act fairly to you nor his other wife. It is also his responsibility to provide his wives with a shelter, clothes, food and other daily needs. Under the current circumstances you are in, a marriage with him is not going to work without it's due challenges.
Seek help from God and I will pray that you will resolve this amicably with His help.
Peace be upon you.
This is in Egypt. You are in US. He divorced you after his visa didn't come through because he wanted someone to keep house for him
Then he married another woman, who does not live in his country. How he expected her to keep house for him for overseas I can't say.
Now he wants you back.
Your question is why did he remarry and is now asking for you back.
I think it is because he wants a visa to the US and since he couldn't get one from you he decided to try elsewhere. His second try may also have been fruitless, thus he wants to try get a visa via you again.
Also he has admitted he cannot support his current wife. A man who cannot support one wife certainly can't support two.
It is so simple. I however and a 1st wife have been for three years, I converted to muslim before he and I had meet. His family is a large part of this choice, yes the man has to agree to marry and the second wife also has to agree. But never forget his family, Mothers wishes come first. Let me tell you I have tested this relationship. I have been to his family home and met the entire family, I have slept there. The drama that surrounds him taking this 2nd wife really has made problems. I am in the USA I am older, I have a home, job, and 4 sons from a previous marriage. So I understand wanting the best for my sons. That wife the famiy chose is an important connection to them. It shows their control on him. A muslim man will not have bad feelings with his family for fear Allah will not allow him into heaven. I myself would never be 2nd wife I have to many sisters of Islam that cry because of this choice they made. Because the love is so big and the feelings are so hard.
In all the reasoning my husband asked me to study the Quran and the wives of Mohammed, so I did desperate to understand my feeling and why this is so hard for me. He can marry a second wife if he treats them equally, in sex, finance, provide a home for each, and so on. But in the Quran Mohammed married his first wife and she was the only wife for 25 years, it was his great love. Then after he took many wifes, for many reasons, and that is all there is to it. I love my husband, he is my teacher of islam, he is my strength, and I have no doubt when he says he loves me with everything he has inside that he does, but he also says he has to make everyone happy, my only response to him has been this is saddens my heart forever and that is something he will have to live with, that he broke my heart to make all around him happy. I resently went back to visit and I am trying to get pregnant, infact waiting for the results now. We had a Fantastic visit, It was everything good, until the telephone started to ring, yep that future second wife called several times a day, this is simple to me. I am there a short time, he is to share his time equally, I was frank and to the point "THIS IS MY TIME, YOU BEST MAKE THIS STOP!!!" so he started putting his phone on vibrate to hide it and never answered 1 call, Now I am thinking I dont compete, I am AMERICAN, I dont play the game like this................I will take it 1 day at a time. There is no reason except family loyalty that a man would choose a second wife that would stop him from coming to America.
You being Christian is a problem for the family, trust me on that!!! Dont convert unless you believe. And go into this with eyes open, mind open and heart on protective mode!!!!!! Inshaa Allah,
This is so sad I am american and going through same thing with my pakistani husband.