Islamic marriage advice and family advice

18 and broke up with my boyfriend, will I ever love again?

girl praying,

Allah says in Surah Zumar, Ayah 53-55: "Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of God: for God forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. "Turn ye to your Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will), before the Penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped."

Assalmulikom everyone

I am a 18 year old girl . This is not the first time I have wrote on this website. Before I wrote a post ("Should I confess my sin when I marry?") on how I was in a relationship with a boy in my college and how much i regretted this relationship but i didnt know how to end it. I was in a relationship with him from when i was 17 for about 10 months. He was 27 at the time.

ELhamdoALLAH a couple of months back I took the bullet and broke up with him. I cut all contact and repented truly for my mistakes until now I ask ALLAH for forgivness in every salah. Slowly I am beginning to move on.

I now have one concern I feel like I will never love a guy like I loved this guy. I feel like he was my first and only love really it is causing me so much trouble. He was not Muslim but he was thinking of converting. but I am not sure if he was honest about this. I kinda felt that one day it would end. I was also stressed in this relationship a lot because I knew it was wrong, i hated lying to my parents. I was also afraid that one day I would lose control and commit zina with him which was the main reason I left him. we were always fighting.

but sometimes at night esp i will just think of all the good memories and say that I will never love anyone the same way I loved him.

Do you think you can fall in love more than once? I have talked to other people and researched about it but i dunno I feel like this is different and I will never forget him.

Your advice is highly appreciated.

- mimi1698

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8 Responses »

  1. Salam
    You did the right thing.This is much better then sinning.You are still young there is someone out there
    who suits you better.We dont know who is our real love till we find someone who really is

  2. Salam dear sister
    Alhamdullilah you have realized your mistake and
    repented before it was too late...I smiled inside when
    I read the part where you said you haven't commited
    Zina with him...masha'allah. Keep it that way inshaallah
    True love only comes after marriage as Allah says in
    Surat ul rum...Allah places love and tranquility between
    The two who marry legally-—according to Allah's law
    So inshaallah be patient and do your duty towards
    Allah and he will help you inshaallah

  3. Wa'alaykumsalam,

    Long comment short,

    Allah wanred us of shaytan's promise that: ""I will mislead them, and I will create in them false desires;..." Whoever, forsaking Allah, takes satan for a friend, hath of a surety suffered a loss that is manifest. Satan makes them promises, and creates in them false desires; but satan's promises are nothing but deception. They (his dupes) will have their dwelling in Hell, and from it they will find no way of escape." ( Al Nisa 119-121)

    So yup there's your answer. The feelings you have for him is from shaytan. That is shaytan's promised false desires(love). Alhamdullilah that you've sever all ties. Thank Allah for he saved you from much worse sin. Allah said " Whatever good happens to you is from Allah but whatever evil happens to you is from your own soul." ( Al Nisa ).

    People can fall in love many times, infact teens can sometimes fall in love regularly for they are immature and sometimes ignorant. Everything is sweet and addictive at young age but only when we learn about Islamic teachings and who our real eternal enemy is, we will never take him by hand.

    Therefore your "feelings" will eventually fade away with time. You just need to be patient and remember Allah, its been only two months since shaytan has left you.

    And Yes insha'Allah you WILL truely love another man for the sake of Allah and he will be your lawfully wedded husband insha'Allah.

    Do not let your past shape your future, do not ponder over the past and eventually you will succeed in life and hereafter insha'Allah. Be regular in prayers and seek forgiveness.

  4. You're 18, grow up, stop doing haram, take responsibility and stop feeding on your comforting self loathing. The average age is 72 years old in this country. Half of our population lives past that. Your entire life is ahead of you. Stop living in the computer world or in the fantasy world. People come in and out of your lives all the time. No man is replaceable especially one that shouldn't have been there in the first place

  5. Salam sister,
    What you are experiencing is infatuation, it is not love. Don't worry, it will take some time but you will get over it. I have had that feeling too. Be grateful Allah (S.W) has opened your eyes and saved you from more sins. Focus on yourself and all the good things in your life. These feelings will fade away. A guy who does not respect the limits you set does not deserve your love.
    I am very happy you did get out of it before it was too late. Be patient, learn to love yourself and be positive. In a few years, when you find that person whom will marry you and make you feel like the most precious person on earth, someone who will love you genuinely and treat you like the queen you are; you will think about that guy and laugh and surely blame it on being young. Be patient, Allah (S.W) has better plans and when he removes something from your hands, he puts something better. Keep believing.

  6. Dear Sister.
    Alhamdulillah, i am very happy for you. Do not worry at all, you will find someone better for you. "You have never fall in love untill you get your husband" Your husband will be your first love, because he is the one who has the right of your love. Relax sweetheart, i wil pray to Allah to help you. Read ayaatul Kursy (2:255) whenever you aare too worried, it is shaytan who put worries in you so that you repeat the pattern.

    Love you habibty.

  7. Thank you so much to all of you that posted , all ur comments have really helped me deal with the problem i have and now i feel like i am simply going through a test and bisenALLAH it wil be okay 🙂

    Also I am starting to think that maybe just maybe I never truly loved this guy and one day i will marry someone i truly love

    Once again thank you for you comments

    ALLAH Hafiz

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