I am a new muslim convert, how do I raise my child?
Allah tells us the story of when Luqman(ra) advised his son: “O my son! Whatever it may be, even though equal to a mustard seed in weight, or within a rock or in the sky or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth”. (Surah Luqman, Ayah 16)
Assalam O Alaikum,
My wife is a born Muslim and comes from a practising Muslim family. I entered into the folds of Islam when I met her and converted before our marriage. Now we have a child. We both agree to raising him in an islamic way however, we both have not done this before, have little examples to learn from and little support. So, can you advise us to the best of your ability; can anyone recommend good literature readings on raising a child in an Islamic way for new convert parents (who are also learning to be muslim thus know little if any at all about raising a muslim child).
Thankyou. Peace. and Ramadan Karim to all.
Lamazing.
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Maasha'Allah brother, one bit of advice someone gave me and has helped my young boys, get rid of the TV, dont let them sit in front of it and watch mindless cartoon all day because its easy for us to just say "ooh that will keep them busy" as a brainwashed former tv holic its the best thing that i have done as a mother i let them watch some tv dvds but i iam their to see whats what. another thing kids copy their parents so just be conscious of what you say and do around them, as for books you can go to your nearest islamic shop and find books dvds cds about raising kids and stories as well, may Allah(swt) bless you and your growing family, Ramadan karim,
Wa alaykum as-salam brother,
I think it's great that you are concerned about raising your children Islamically. I have a daughter and I also struggle to raise her as a good Muslimah. Here are some general suggestions:
1. Set a good example. Have your child do wudu' with you, and pray with you, and fast with you if he's old enough.
2. Take your child with you to the masjid as often as possible.
3. If there is a full time Islamic school in your area, enroll your child there. If not, then many masjids have weekend classes for kids, so check that out.
4. Take your child to Jum'ah prayer.
5. Look online for Islamic books for children. Try IslamicBookstore.com, they have many good books.
6. Talk to your child about Allah every day. Teach him to say As-salamu alaykum when greeting, Insha'Allah when speaking of the future, Bismillah when beginning any action or starting a meal, Alhmadulillah after the meal or when anything good happens, etc.
7. Make friends with other Muslim couples who have children. Invite them over for visits, or arrange play dates for the children.
8. Tell your child stories of the Prophets, and stories from the life of the Prophet Muhammad (sws). If you don't know these stories, then learn them. Much of this can be found online.
9. Have a weekly "Islamic quiz time" where you quiz your child about Islam, and reward him for correct answers.
10. Do a search online for "how to raise a Muslim child." I'm sure you find a lot of resources. Here's something interesting that I came across with a quick search: RaisingMuslimChildren.com.
11. Always make dua' for your child. Ask Allah to guide him, to make him a strong Muslim, to keep him on the path.
12. Celebrate the Eids and make them a real occasion. Decorate the home, buy gifts, do something special on those days.
May Allah make it easy for you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hi Brother Wael,
It is very well said and very good advice.(for all)!!!
Salaam.
I agree with the above MashaAllah. JazakAllah for the tips brother Wael. I just wanted to add that I read somewhere its important (of course) to build a bond with your child. Let them know you are there for them and be approachable. This is important for when they are older InshaAllah but if you start when they're growing up its easier. Of course get them into good habits as well. My cousin is aged 7 and he is keen to fast as the elders are fasting so my aunt has agreed to let him try it (as its the holidays here) a half day fast. So if they are keen to try something Islamic which is not detrimental to them, then let them.
Discipline is also important. Be consistent if something is unacceptable it is always unacceptable but when disciplining always scold the behaviour and not the child. E.g Your behaviour is naughty. Never say you are naughty etc..
Be loving to them but also teach them to do things on their own. Its about striking a balance between helping them without helping them too much. Strive to be a good parent to please Allah swt and He will make it easy for you. Ask Him to help you do this and guide your children and He will surely help you.
As they increase in age (early teens) and start to learn right from wrong don't just tell them that such a such a bad deed is haraam. Try if you can to explain some consequences of the bad deed and how the media or school pressure etc may make such wrong actions seem beautiful but the real action is wrong and ugly.
Also from a young age instill in them that Allah swt can see them whereever they are. InshaAllah this will teach them taqwa in later life. Also let them know you love them and let them know Allah loves them and is always and wil always be there for them. When I pray with my cousin (the 7 yr old) he likes to do dua with me, and is always reminding me of other duas to make SubhanAllah, kids are so innocent so teach them how to connect with Allah from a young age.
Also books are good too. Seek knowledge on your deen and pass on to your kids.
May Allah swt give you (and us all) pious spouses and children
Ameen
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALMUALIKUM,
brother i will not say much but i may advice you saying that, do follow with the above one it will be honestly helpful for you
my children have been raised muslim for 7 years as i converted 7 years ago my ex is athiest my husband of 6years is muslim like me my ex has every 2nd weekend custody up until them my oldest girl 12yo was a good muslim shince she has been at her biological fathers he has told he muslims are terrorists and encourages her to eat pork and bacon on visits and take her hegab of as its a rag and people will kill you if u wear it .what do i do as it is breaking my happy muslim home up as now she wants not to be muslim shouyld i let her live with her bio father and be raised athiest or make her be a good muslim
nadiyah, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor