I love him, and everything about Islam, but I’m married.
Salam,
I need advice. I'm Aliesha. I'm christian and married, but separated. Right now I'm in a relationship with a muslim man. He is single and he accepts me for everything. He is a good person and we're planning to get married in 6 months. I accept him and I accept to be converted to Islam also. I love him- we love each other. He's not tired of teaching me about islam, and I love these things I believe in the muslim faith.
But the problem is I'm married to a christian man, but we've been separated for 3 years with no divorce papers. My question is, can I marry again with this muslim man? It is possible?
Thank you.
-Aliesha
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Salaams,
In general, you cannot get a legal marriage unless you are already legally divorced. So if you're still legally married to your first husband, you cannot legally marry anyone else. That's according to government law.
However, in Islam legal marriage is not what counts. What makes someone married or not in Islam is nikkah. Nikkah has its own requirements, such as the presence of two witnesses, the bride being given a dowry, and consent by both the bride and her representative (wali). In this manner two people can get married without it having to go through the government or courts, and in the eyes of Allah they are husband and wife.
The relevant question for you is whether you are divorced or not according to your faith. Most Christians I know recognize marriage and divorce based on whether it's legal according to the government, even though there is nothing in the Bible that outlines what does or doesn't make someone married. If you are still considered as married according to your belief, then you would be married and cannot marry someone else until you are divorced. Since there is no divorce in christianity other than a legal one, that is what you have to wait for.
The only thing that could change that, of course, is if you were not a Muslim. If you are sincere about converting, why wait? It shouldn't depend on who or if or when you marry a Muslim. Come to Islam because you believe it and want to be Muslim no matter what.
When a married woman converts to Islam, her non-Muslim husband has 3 months to also convert to Islam, as it is forbidden for a Muslim woman to be married to anyone other than a Muslim man. If those three months go by and he never converts, at that point her marriage to the christian becomes null and void, and she can marry whicher Muslim man she chooses with a nikkah.
I hope this information helped, and may Allah guide you in all your affairs to what is right and fulfilling.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I think you should divorce first and get married. In a way you may be already married because you are already in "relatioship" with a man, doing every thing married people do.
You should check local laws about this? If this guy is going to get his citizenship thru you, you defintely should be divorced if you live in a Western country.
I am a revert to Islam of 5 years.
Just to let you know that these situations are pretty common nowadays and you are not alone.
This very morning and the reason why I'm replying to your post.
I heard a story about a sister who was in a very very similar position to yours. She is happily married to a Muslim.
Firstly please don't wait to marry before you revert to Islam. May Allah grant you imaan.
Secondly you would have to be divorced first before you could marry again