I am in the Iddah after divorce, can we reconcile?
Are we divorced? Iddah is not over yet.
(Editor's Note: Shyna, I have combined both your posts because they had a similar subject)
1. my friend wrote a stamp paper by herself on behalf of her husband that i divorce my wife once..then she got signed this paper by her husbands brothers in name of her husband and her husband knew it.they made this paper to show it to girl's family that they had divorced,so girl can be released from home as parents had locked her until she gets divorce from her husband,for that reason she wrote a paper and instead of husband his brother signed it.do the divorce is counted or not?? please tell me..for the safety her husband said to her that i keep you as my wife if divorce occurs.but is this divorce has counted or not??
2. my husband divorced me on stamp paper saying 'i divorce you thrice' ..at that moment he didnt not knew that thrice divorce is counted as one.i had read it on your site.now we want to get back to each other as my iddah is not yet over.can we return?? please guide me inlight of hadees.
i dont want to get seperated from my husband i heard that threefold divorce counts as one,this gave me a hope and i asked him to take me back ,he agrees to take me back if threefold divorce has occured as one,we both want to get back together and my iddah is not yet over.he didnt knew before that it counts as one.now he is confused on this matter,please guide us so we can have a way.
- Shyna
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Ask the imam I guess, but inshallah it will all be okay.
Assalaamualaikam
It saddens me to see people throw divorce around in anger; divorce is permitted but not liked by Allah and whenever possible we should first try to resolve relationship problems in less painful ways.
I am not a scholar, so cannot advise your friend on the legalities of her marriage, but if she has been locked in her home unless she divorces, this is very concerning. Why have her family done this? Are they concerned for her safety, their reputation, her rights? Without knowing the circumstances, it is difficult to advise what to do, but a general piece of advice would be that the truth tends to come out in the end - usually disputes are best handled with open communication and mediation if necessary, rather than deception. However, if this would place her at risk of harm, the paramount issue would be to get to a place of safety and obtain legal support and protection.
To the best of my knowledge, three-in-one divorces still count as one divorce, as there has been one instance of giving divorce and no time between for reflection and completion of iddah. I would therefore think that you and your husband would probably be able to reconcile - however, I must stress that it is always best to consult an imam in these matters, and I am not an expert in these matters.
If you and your husband reconcile, try to resolve the difficulties which led to the separation, and to improve your communication with each other; divorce is described as the permitted thing that is most disliked by Allah, so should never be used without serious consideration.
May Allah guide you and your friend through these difficulties.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Bism Allah wa-alhamdulillah
In the name of Allah ,and praise be to Allah.
Regarding your question about threefold divorce, our prophet Mohammed (salla Allah alaihi wasallum) himself considered it to be only one, and did not consider it three. if you could read Arabic, here's the hadith in the book of Abu Dawood:
(وعن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما قال: طلق أبو ركانة) بضم الراء وبعد الألف نون (أم ركانة فقال النبي صَلّى الله عَلَيْهِ وَسَلّم: "رَاجِعِ امْرأَتَكَ" قال: إني طلقتها ثلاثاً قال: "قَدْ عَلِمْتُ رَاجِعْهَا" رواه أبو داود).
Ibni Abbas, the scholar and cousin of prophet Mohammed, says that the prophet (salla Allah alaihi wasallum) considered it only a one time divorce. That's just so clear. the controversy rose at the action of the Khalifa ( Omar Ibni Alkhattab) who started this (three means three) practice, but he said why, he said because people started behaving irresponsibly and for that he would count it as threefold. as the following demonstrates
وأخرج عبد الرزاق ومسلم وأبو داود والنسائي والحاكم والبيهقي عن ابن عباس قال كان الطلاق على عهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وأبى بكر وسنتين من خلافة عمر طلاق الثلاث واحدة فقال عمر بن الخطاب ان لناس قد استعجلوا في أمر كانت لهم فيه أناة فلو أمضيناه عليهم فأمضاه عليهم
Hope this be of use.
Assalamu'alaikum,
Adding to the above, you can get back to your husband now if your Iddah has not ended, and if he wishes for reconciliation.
If the Iddah expires, you will have to perform another Nikaah.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM-Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor If the Iddah expires, you will have to perform another Nikaah.
I ALSO LIKE TO HAVE KNOWLEDGE FROM YOU-HOW YOU CAME TO THIS CONCLUSION.......THAT SHE IS IN IDDAH........
Shyna ALSO ASKED THIS FROM YOU .........please guide me inlight of hadees.
HOPE YOU WONT MIND IF I SAY SHE IS NOT IN IDDAH AS THE IDDAH STARTS ONLY-WHEN THE- 3 RD ISLAMIC SHARIAH TALAQ TAKES PLACE IDDAH DOES NOT START......TILLNTHEN-
AFTER THE 3 MONTHLY PEIRODS TAKE PLACE -
[SHE BEING IN HER HUSBANDS HOUSE ]AND THEN SHE IS DEPARTED FROM THE HUSBANDS HOUSE SETTLING HER MATTER BY THE INTERVENTION OF ARBITRATORS AND RELEASED FROM THE NIKAH-
TILL THEN THE 1 TALAQ DOES HAVE ANY IDDAH[ONLY WAITING PERIOD] AS SHOWN IN MY STATEMENT FROM SURAH TALQ 65-1 -
WHICH WAS NOT POSTED I MEAN DELETED WHERE ONLY TALAQ IS ATTEMPTED BY Shyna AND HER HUSBAND-
HOPE YOU WILL CLARIFY THE ABOVE TWO POINTS THE IDDAH STATSUS AND THE PROOF FOR THAT AND SHE HAS TO PERFORM ANOTHER NIKAH-
HOPE YOU DONT MIND
REGARDS
ALI YOUSUFF
Ali Yousuf, As-salamu alaykum. Either your understanding of Islamic divorce procedure is flawed, or you are not expressing yourself clearly, I don't know which.
The Islamic divorce procedure is clear and is known by all the scholars. 'Iddah begins after one pronouncement of talaq. If there is no reconciliation during the period of the 'iddah, the couple is divorced.
See a summary in this ruling by (the former) IslamOnline.net:
Divorce: Islamic Procedure & Rulings
As Dr. Siddiqui says,
"Divorce can take place by saying one time “I have divorced you” (talluqtuki) or “You are divorced” (anti taliq). After this the woman should spend the time of her `iddah. During the period of `iddah the husband can cancel his divorce and can resume the matrimonial relationship, but if it does not happen then the divorce takes effect and at the end of the `iddah period their marriage ends. There is no need to repeat the words of divorce more than once. Even one divorce is sufficient to terminate the relationship."
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamalaikum-
Hope my replies will not be be deleted like the last one as this is matter of life and death for-- Shyna....
Dear abdul bari brother and wael -Thanks for your esteemed reply-
PLEASE DONT BE OFFENEDED IF I AM VERY OPENLY REQUESTING YOU TO AVOID FATWAS AGAINST QURAN AND HADEES-SPECIALLY THE DEOBANDIS-
Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi born in India in 1943, received his Islamic education at Darul Uloom Nadwatul Ulama, Lucknow, India.
The Islamic divorce procedure is clear and is known by all the scholars. 'Iddah begins after one pronouncement of talaq-THEN WHERE IS THE WAITNG PERIOD-
Your reference -Is from this person a indian born NADWA product-THE NADWA WHICH HAS KILLED MILLIONS OF GIRLS AND WOMEN -IN MATRINMOIAL LIFE BUT THEY LIVE FOR THE SAKE OF AVOIDING THE SUICIDE WHICH IS HARAM IN ISLAM-THEY HAVE HARMED ISLAM TO THIS EXTENT-
I WILL TAKE THE LIBERTY OF REMINDING YOU THE FATWA OF ANY ONE FROM ANY CENTURY ANY COUNTRY IS NOT ABOVE-A REVEALTION OR AUTHENTUC HADEES- ITS AN OPINION JUST FROM ONE BRAIN BORN IN OUR COUNTRY[INDIA] WHERE PEOPLE MAKE ANYONE WITH ANY TYPE OF DEVIATED KNOWLEDGE A GREAT HERO AND SEND HIM TO CLOUD NINE EVEN IF HE DEFIES THE QURAN AND HADEES-
SORRY TO SAY IF iSLAM DEPEDENDANTS UP ON EVERY SELF APPOINTED SECTARIAN OF EVERY CENTURY AND EVERY COUNTRY THEN NO ONE CAN SAVE IT PARTICULARLY THE DEOBAND THE MOST HEINIOUS ARBITRATOR OF THE WORLD WORST IN THE DESTROYING THE CONCEPT OF SURAH NUMBER 65 TALAQ FROM QURAN AND THE APPOSER OF HADEES......
NOW COMING TO -Either your understanding of Islamic divorce procedure is flawed,
ANSWER-It is highly unfortunate and shameful that Muslim jurists have been ignoring and practically revoking these clear verses of the Book of Allah for centuries, in favor of their own conjecture.
According to their exploitative and erroneous edicts, if a husband utters the word "Divorce" three times in anger or under any kind of duress or even in a stage drama or movie, divorce takes effect instantly. What a mockery of the Qur'an! They are then declared unlawful for each other.
I CANT TAKE AN ORDINARY PERSON LIKE MUZAAMIL EVEN IN 1 OR 2 % VALUE[ DUE TO- revoking these clear verses of the Book of Allah]DUE TO HIS DEFYING THIS VERSES OF QURAN-AND SAYINGS OF THE AUTHENTIC HADEES-HE HAS NO RIGHT THE ABOLISH THE WAITING PERIOD AND NAME IT IDDAH-
65-1-O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them for their WAITING PERIOD-1 and compute the WAITING accurately, *2 and hold Allah, your Lord, in awe.Do not turn them out of their homes (DURING THE WAITING PERIOD – nor should they go away (from their homes)
MR MUZZAMIOL IS ACTING LIKE PAUL OF CHRISTIANITY BY VANISHING-WAITING PERIOD WORD FROM THE PROCEDURE OF TALAQ-WHICH IS SO CRYSTAL CLEAR IN QURAN AND THE STEP BY STEP EXPANATION IN HADEES-SEE PLEASE-
"If you have to divorce your wives, you should divorce them till the expiry of their WAITING PERIOD[3-Menstrual periods]LEADS TO 3 MONTHS 3 TALAQS-PROVED IN HAZRATH IBNE UMARS INSTANCE-
“O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them at their appointed periods.” (Sunan Abu Dawood vol 2 Hadith no. 2191 p 59; -
O Prophet! When you men intend to divorce women-MAKE SURE THE WAITING PERIOD IS OBSERVED- Keep precise account of this interim. Be mindful of Allah, your Lord....These are, then, the limits imposed by Allah. And whoever crosses Allah's limits, he verily hurts his own 'Self' [IS THIS ALL FOR JOKE PLEASE ASK THIS MR -MUZAMMIL-
2ND OBJECTION-
or you are not expressing yourself clearly,
I AM NO ONE TO EXPRESS MYSLEF IN THE MATTER OF DEEN BECAUSE I KNOW THE COSEQUENCES ON THE DAY IF JUDGEMENT -FOR PREFERING THE SELF APPOINTED PRANKSTER SCHOLARS DECLARATIONS AGAINST QURAN AND HADEES-
RasoolAllah [May Allah bless Him and grant Him peace] stated:
"On the Day of Judgement, some people will come to me when I will be standing by
Haudh-e-Kauser (Well).
They will be grabbed and taken towards the Hellfire. I shall say: "These are my people" but in reply I will be told:
"These are the people who introduced innovations after you.....
HOPE YOU ALL &THE FORUM WILL NOT BE MISGUIDED AS WE ALL BE ANSWERABLE TO ALLAH ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT -
AS A SMALL WRONG]SELF] ANSWER WILL EFFECT 10000'S WHO READ IT-
As-salamu alaykum brother,
1. You are confused. You condemn these scholars who, you say, are defying the Quran by taking away the "waiting period" and replaced it with "iddah". Brother, the iddah is the waiting period. You keep quoting Surah 65:1. Do you have the ability to read the ayah in Arabic? If so, please read it and see what Arabic word is used for "waiting period".
2. It's wrong of you to condemn and insult scholars you don't even know. Fear Allah in this matter and do not commit gheebah or slander. Dr. Siddiqui is a highly educated and well-respected scholar. Furthermore, I have met him personally and found him to be extremely humble. You owe him an apology.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I don't have any knowladge about scholar and so on but as a normal human being I belive we never ever should judge people its only Allah to judge. Specially about the scholar we really don't know who is ready good or not only Allah knows. We know something about them if its wrong its better to understand rather then challenging and not be disrecpt. It's better to ask forgiveness from Allah. It's good to gain knowladge but within the limit of your understanding.
Wa'alaykumsalam,
You are really confused and you seriously lack Islamic knowledge. Only you have a different method of divorce from among the ahl sunnah wal jamaah, according to you the scholars of ahl sunnah wal jamaah are wrong and belong to 'deobandi' whereas your false method is correct ? I never doubt that your Islamic understanding is flawed since ever. You preached that we should follow salaf al saliheen, yet you do not know who they are, according to you, only the prophet and his companions are the salaf and you are against the tabi'een and taba tabi'een who are also among the salah al saliheen. You preach the false method of divorce, and you insult the scholars of Islam for using the word iddah and you don't even know what is iddah in english. You preach the method of divorce and the method you preach is not present in Quran or hadith. It just shows how you ridicule your own intellect and contradict yourself.
Surah 65:1
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ إِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاءَ فَطَلِّقُوهُنَّ لِعِدَّتِهِنَّ وَأَحْصُوا الْعِدَّةَ ۖ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ رَبَّكُمْ ۖ لَا تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِنْ بُيُوتِهِنَّ وَلَا يَخْرُجْنَإِلَّا أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ ۚ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ ۚ وَمَنْ يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُ ۚ لَا تَدْرِي لَعَلَّاللَّهَ يُحْدِثُ بَعْدَ ذَٰلِكَ أَمْرًا
hope now you understand that 'iddah' in english means 'waiting period'.
You criticize and slander the scholars of Islam who spent their whole life in Islam and you think that you have more knowedgle than them when you are an admin of facebook page 'widows and divorcees right to hapiness' ?
Your Islamic advises will hold no value if you continue advising wrong. People will ignore your comments. You need to repent for backbiting, slandering the scholars of Islam. You need to fear and obey Allah and His messenger. You need to respect the salaf al saliheen. And most of all you need to learn about Islam from its authentic sources and not make your own opinion based on your desires.
You mentioned that RasoolAllah [May Allah bless Him and grant Him peace] stated:
"On the Day of Judgement, some people will come to me when I will be standing by
Haudh-e-Kauser (Well).
They will be grabbed and taken towards the Hellfire. I shall say: "These are my people" butin reply I will be told:
"These are the people who introduced innovations after you.....
So take heed and don't invent anything new when the whole ummah has one understanding of divorce and reconcilation.
ASSALAMALAIKUM-DEAR WAEL
I HUMBLY REQUEST YOU TO KINDLY SEE THAT TIMES OF INDIA 3 REPORTS ARE KNOWN TO ALL HERE.
THANKS FOR YOUR ESTEEMED REPLY AND GIVING TIME TO CLARIFY-
I AM VERY HUMBLE PERSON AND DOWN TO EARTH IN ALL RESPECTS EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO ISLAM-AND THE OPPOSITION TO SALAFUSALEHEEN AND THAT IS BY THE PEOPLE OF MADHABS WHICH IS NOT OBLIGATRY TO LISTEN TURN NOR FOLLOW AND THAT INCLUDES THE DEOBANDIS AND THEIR SO CALLED -Dr. Siddiqui is a highly educated and well-respected scholar-
BY THE GRACE OF ALLAH I HAVE OPENLY TOLD ANYTHING I TELL IN THIS OPEN FORUM ......
I APPOSE THOSE WHO -TAKE THEIR ELDERS FATWAS WHICH ARE ILLEGA;L-INSPITE OF QURAN AND HADEES SHOWING THE RIGHT WAY-
PLEASE NOTE HERE IS THEIR WHIMS AND FANCIES-PL GET QURAN OR HADEES REFERENCE FOR THIS FROM Dr. Siddiqui is a highly educated and well-respected scholar-There is no need to repeat the words of divorce more than once. Even one divorce is sufficient to terminate the relationship."THIS IS ABSURD-
I HATE THOSE WITH THEIR CONJECTURE-MADE ISLAM A LAUGHING STOCK IN THE WORLD OF HINDUS WHICH I WILL NEVER NEVER TOLERATE-WHO EVER THEY MIGHT BE -
I WANTED TO SAY THE WAITING PERIOD IS IN THE HOUSE OF THE HUSBAND AS QURAN EXPLAINS [THIS IS IN OUR COUNTRY APPLIED AS]AND THE ACTUAL-IDDAH WE USE THE WORD ONLY FOR THE GIRLS WAITING PERIOD IN HER FATHERS HOUSE AFTER SHE COMPLETES 3 TALAQS &RELEASED-
ISLAMHELPLINE-THEY ARE NOT AN AUTHRORITY BECAUSE THEY BELONG TO UNAUTHORIZED SECTS ISLAM DONT NEED THEM NEITHER THEIR TAQLEED NOR THEIR DEVIATED VERSIONS -
ALLAH IS SUFFICIENT FOR ISLAM TO OVERCOME THE WORLD-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3X5hIFXYU HIS BOOK IS THE TORCH HIS PROPHET SALALALHU ALAIHIWASLAM SAHABAS/TABYIN AND TABETABAYINS LIVES FOR GUIDENCE-[3 GENERATIONS]
1] http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-10-27/lucknow/28230688_1_talaq-three-times-dar-ul-ifta-iddat-period
2] http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2009-01-07/india/28020846_1_talaq-three-times-hanafi-sect-dar-ul-ifta
3] http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-11-15/india/28264140_1_talaq-fatwa-department-deoband
I HOPE YOUUNDERSTAND MY STAND ON THESE INSTITUTIONS -I END HERE WITH NO RESPECT FOR THOSE WHO DISRESPECT ISLAM-
As-salamu alaykum brother. I have tried to be patient with you as you are my elder (I think) and I believe you are sincere. However, your constantly hostile attitude and disrespect toward Muslim scholars is wearying. All of this that you are posting has nothing to do with the original question. I asked you to please read 65:1 (as you keep quoting it) and tell me what the word is in Arabic. Instead you give me three irrelevant articles from the Times of India. Brother, I feel that I and the other Editors (and the readership at large) spend too much time moderating your comments and simply trying to understand them. and I suspect that most of our readers skip over your comments without reading them.
I don't mean to be rude. I just feel these endless debates are not a good use of our resources, and I'm afraid I will be less inclined to publish your comments in the future.
By the way, the article I quoted was not from Islamhelpline but from IslamOnline.net, a website that is now unfortunately defunct but was highly respected by Muslims all over the world during its time.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As-salamu Alaykum,
The creators of IslamOnline.net (IOL) took the old material and resources they had accumulated over the years to make a new website called OnIslam.net, which you can visit here:
http://www.onislam.net/
It is basically the same as the old IOL and is updated on a daily basis.
Bism Allah wa-alhamdulillah
salamo alaikom brother Ali,
I know i missed much of your replies (they look like have been deleted or something, coz i can't see some of the items referred to) but i can see your central argument is that the Quran and Sunnah of prophet Mohammed must have the priority in our issues, and not the sayings of others, even if they are called (( highly educated and well-respected scholar)) and you are absolutely true. Even the Imam Malik said the same thing ((Every one of us can have his argument accepted or rejected, except the man buried in this grave)) and that was the grave of prophet Mohammed (salla Allah alaihi wa-sallum). So, even those imams who are imitated by the common people know and say it openly that the people should not imitate them,but rather take directly from the sources (i.e Quran and Sunnah) for example, the imam Ahmed Ibni Hanbal said ((Do not imitate me, or Althawri (imama Sufian Althawri) nor Awzaii (imama Alawzaii), but take from where they have taken)). It's very hard, from my won experience, to convince people that they do not have to be enslaved by scholars who have no respect for the Quran and Sunnah, because most of the modern Muslims like to just do what the majority would do, blindly and with no question, and are scared to think for themselves and take responsibility. The Quran has never changed, and will not, and the ayah of talaq is the first one in the Surah of Talaq, but these so-called scholars who place no importance on Quran, nor Sunnah, they are misleading the masses with their disrespectful behavior and defiance to Quran and Sunnah, making these poor creatures end in hell for worshipping their scholars rather than Allah. Prophet Mohammed said in the hadith narrated by Udai Bin Hatim in the explanation of Ayah 31 of Surah Al Tawbah
" اتَّخَذُوا أَحْبَارَهُمْ وَرُهْبَانَهُمْ أَرْبَابًا مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ وَالْمَسِيحَ ابْنَ مَرْيَمَ وَمَا أُمِرُوا إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُوا إِلَهًا وَاحِدًا لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا هُوَ سُبْحَانَهُ عَمَّا يُشْرِكُونَ(31) التوبة
Translation f meaning (( They have worshipped their saints and priests instead of Allah while they were told to worship only Allah))
Udai Bin Hatime said to Prophet Mohammed (because he converted from Christianity) that they did not worship their saints and priests instead of Allah, and Prophet Mohammed said: They did worship them, didn't you see they followed their priests and saints in making halal to be haram, and making haram to be halal? Udai said (yes), the prophet said (That's how they worshiped them).
So, all my brotherly advice, brother Ali, just explain and display the texts and don't care what happened to these people, the majority of them just like to follow the herd wherever they go, so don't burn your blood about it. Even Prophet Mohammed himself had a number of people objecting him at his time, let alone his Sunnah or the Quran.
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