Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I have a crush on my classmate, please guide me in the light of Islam

She married him, but is interested in someone else

True love comes from Allah Alone, rest all is from Shaitaan

I was introduced to the feeling when i was 12...i had a liking for a boy and had no justification as to why i liked was a feeling that consumed me like anything ..

id think about him all the even dream about him..(he was some one in my class)..since childhood i had been told to change the channel or close my eyes when a 'bad part' would come on tv and since then id been given the conception that love is a bad thing..having a relationship in islam is not permitted ..there is no concept of girlfriend and boyfriend...

im sixteen now and ive never told my mothyer about this feeling or what i shud do with it..ive had multiple crushes ...the previous one just fades away cuz the person is no longer a part of my life...but i cant seem to justify the feeling ..its not due to looks or personality just happens blindly..

i dont even make it apparent or expose it cause im scared that i'll be comitting sin if i do and i dont want to be rejected...infact i cant betray my parents and Allah ...i tend to "fix' myself for the person and get him to notice me so that he naturallly starts to have feelings for me..

in that way my emotion is satisfied but i wont commit to any sort of relationship..and then when i 'sense' that my plan is working and he is noticing me crushed when i hear that he likes somebody else or is attracted to fair ,pretty rich girls ....

i dont know what to do about should i deal with this before marriage...cud i fall in love with anyone? have i become so desperate that id be in the 'air' if some random guy hits on me...was it wrong to seek the attention of the guy without making it apparent..

plz someone guide me about this in the light of islam..

- ashapple

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80 Responses »

  1. Salam.

    Dear sister Im too a 16 year old guy and alhumdullilah I think I can understand what you feel.
    What you are experiencing is pretty much normal for people of your age.Nothing is wrong about that.Girls have a natural tendency too seek attention from guys and be appreciated.
    But you have to understand the noble position Islam has given you as a female,a daughter, a future wife and mother.Islam dignifies you as a person.Your beauty ,your looks and your personality as a whole is not for sale.
    Believe me I know a lot of Guys who are a total mess in terms of their deen,their behaviour ,attitude ,their akhlaaq etc but just by ' fancying ' themselves a bit they are able to trap innocent girls like you.I feel pity for such girls.
    You have to realize that you are for your future hubby ..not for these type of guys who USE girls with them and leave them torn apart and broken.
    Initially the may sound friendly and caring but their intent is horrible.Who knows better than me ..m a guy after all.

    So please dont let any of your feelings mature.Otherwise you may feel disgusted and self worthless later on.
    I know this age is difficult.Desires and feelings over power us but after all this is what is call a test.Allah tests us all.

    Sister I see no refuge for you other than trying to keep away from such guys and stick to ur deen.Dont go for the guy's looks.I ve seen guys with 'looks' destroy the lifes of girls.

    It seems your parents have brought you up in a sort of Islamic environment masha Allah.It means they expect a lot from you.I dont know how did they throw u in a co ed school.You really have been put to tes from Allah.SWT.
    I cant explain this to you in more direct terms.I always say that Muslim girls are pearls reserved only for their husbands.

    If you dont try getting close to Allah SWT , I m afraid things cud go worse.Seek help through reading Quran..Make your prayers regular.At this age Allah SWT will love you even more if you start taking hijaab instead of ' fixing' urself for that guy.
    You need to be patient dear sis.Insha Allah , you will be blesses with a great future and a loving husband if you take hold of ur feelings in this diificult time.

    May Allah SWT guide you and make it easy for you.
    Jazak Allah

    • Abdullah,

      Mashallah...for 16 years old, you are one very intelligent young man. May Allah guide you and keep you always in his care. Inshallah your advice will help this sister in the direction of her life and keep her on the straight path and away from things that are not only haram but will harm her in the long run.


      • Alhamduillah I agree, our brother has a good point there! It is good to hear these things from young people. If only I had this kind of advice when I was 16, I could have possibly prevented many of my mistakes. Only Allah knows.

        May Allah increase us in our knowledge, Ameen.

        • Jazak Allaah khairan kaseera.

          Words from both of you sisters were helpful as well as encouraging for me.

          May Allah guide both of you as well keep u both in His infinite mercy , compassion and care.Ameen

          • Assalamualaikum abdullah,
            While I know what you're trying to tell the sister is in good intent, it isn't very right of you to say girls 'seek attention'. In fact, not once did the sister mention that she is vexed at the fact that she cannot act upon her feelings/wants to act upon them.
            Please be more careful with your language. You might be wise masha allah but the usage of slightly wrong terminology can misportray islam. Please think twice before saying anything gender biased.
            And Allah knows best

      • Mashallah for a 16 year old "guy" you are quite sensible and protective of other girls, of course in a good way. I am 18 but I vould never think like that. Thank you for throwing light on this issue from a guy's point of view 🙂

    • JazakAllah
      Abdullah Bro, your explanation was too good and perfect. Reallt happy to hear it from young boys/girls. May Allah Guide us. Ameen

    • Alhamdulilah u have really helped me, may Allah shower you with more knowledge, Masha Allah

    • Thanks to this post.Alhamdulilah it helped me alot.It helps you knowing that yo are not alone in this world .I know people tend to forget their crushes over time and have new crushes .Everytime that happened to me I always ended up in this website one way or another , helped alot Jazakumallah Khayran

    • Mashallah, you are very great
      I have learned a lot from you and inshallah you get the hasanat from Allah SWT. I know this have been many years ago, but many people have read this. It's been five years and you are married and having good life. May God give you the best and helpful children that can behold your name. Abdullah, never in my life, I ever heard someone like you,16 saying that. I'm so impressed. I live in America where there is inappropriate students in my school. I'm in middle school, 8th grade. Thank you soooooo much, I have learned a lot

    • Mashallah bother. Allah made you very intelligent I am 14 I have a crush on a guy. He is not very good looking. One thing I don't like about him is that he don't pray namaz of isha and fajr but I still pray to Allah for hidayah for him. But the same thing come to my mind that Allah made all the women like a diamond . They are not for everyone. Only a special person deserves a special diamond and Allah knows that the special person ( my future husband ) is way better but I still can't control my feelings. I am trying my best but my crush is a very good person . I can't resist him, maybe I love him and pray for him only as a friend. Allah knows better

    • Coincidently, I have also been struggling with this. I am a Muslim, I prefer to keep specific details private.

      I have known another Muslim boy for a while. I’ve known him since I was a child, to be exact. We’ve grown up together, I know practically everything’s about him, he doesn’t know much about me though. We’re freidns but not ‘best friends’.

      Four years ago, I started developing feelings for him. I didn’t understand why, it’s not his looks, maybe it’s because he’s kind, I thought. But I don’t think it’s like that either. Like -Ashapple- said, I just have a crush on him. I don’t know why. I

      I can’t help but dream about him. Whenever I’m bored, my mind strays to him and the future, what would happen if I told him, what if he rejected, what if I stay in misery for my entire life.

      My mother is friends with his mother, and I u know for a fact that my mom would never let me date, nevertheless marry him.

      Usually I’d have a few dreams and I would cast this feeling aside. Recently, as of this week, it’s been growing and growing constantly. It’s starting to get scary. It’s taken over me completely and it’s getting to the point where it’s it of control. Every little touch makes a spark and any word he speaks results in stammering. Luckily, stammering is my nature, so nothing happens. By Allah, I am scared, for I am probably sinning by even having these thoughts.

      I don’t know what to do. I’ve been taught that at 17 my mom will start looking for a rishta and the moment she finds one that I say yes to, she’ll marry me. I’ve never objected or rejected this, I’ve just grown up with a nod of the head. Now if someone asks, it automatically comes out of my mouth. I honestly don’t mind getting married to who my mother thinks is best, but these feelings have proved otherwise.

      I Really Really need help. I have been doing Dua and extra prayers, reading Quran as much as I can, but it continues. Please respond. Anyone.


  2. When I was 16 years old I felt the same way. I have realized something, however, very big a couple of years later that I would like to share with you. I hope you will take what I say into deep consideration. The feeling you get is called infatuation, when you have a "crush" on someone for no reason. It is very normal and it happens very commonly during this age because of your hormones and how you were created. BUT one thing I should say that isn't normal is your need for attention. I am not saying anything bad about you or intend to hurt you but you said " I tend to "fix' myself for the person and get him to notice me so that he naturallly starts to have feelings for me..

    in that way my emotion is satisfied but i wont commit to any sort of relationship..and then when i 'sense' that my plan is working and he is noticing me ..."

    What does that mean to you? It does not sound like something good. This is when it goes from being perfectly normal feelings to something that has the potential to become dangerous. Why do you need him to notice you? Why do you need his attention if you don't want to commit to any sort of relationship? What are you trying to get out of this? Are you planning to play around with his sexual and emotional feelings? How do you know one day it won't turn into a relationship you haven't planned? Sister please stop this type of activity immediately. I assume that these boys are also close to your age or around it and during this time the hormones are much more stronger for them. To them this is not a joke and they will have a more difficult time to not want to play with you if you act like this with them. In the end you will get hurt by being manipulated into a relationship you didn't plan to be a part of and usually relationships at that age do not last. Please listen to me to avoid having your heart broken because right now you can not imagine how horrible heartbreak feels until you go through it especially if you have never felt it before.

    Right now you are writing advice on how to stop these feelings, please do not let it go further and ask for advice on how to get over someone who has hurt you. We need less people on that boat and more people on the successful halal marriage cruise ship.

    This can be a sign of low self esteem as you have wrote "and then when i 'sense' that my plan is working and he is noticing me crushed when i hear that he likes somebody else or is attracted to fair ,pretty rich girls ....". It is normal for guys that age who have not had much understanding of the world yet and who haven't developed themselves or be as mature as they would be if they were older to like girls who are pretty, attractive, etc or many girls at a time but in Islam they (and us women too) have to lower their gaze and keep to themselves. Think of it as a blessing, not something to be upset about.

    I suggest you try to increase your self esteem by lowering your gaze and conditioning your mind. Think positively about yourself and not look at yourself as an object that men should only desire. Gain knowledge and understanding of the world. You are still young and innocent, please do not be one of the unfortunate souls who were used because they attracted the wrong person into their lives. Trust me I have been there and it is not as pretty as it seems. Get closer to Allah and understand your role as a woman in Islam and feel proud of it, soon you will start to look at the world differently and you will not be caught up in the mess of zina and the different forms of it.

    May Allah bless you and guide you while making it easier for you and all Muslims. This is a test we all have to go through and I want to remind you that you are not the only one and you are not alone.


    • This is such a nice reply! I also had been thinking about a guy since the past few days and I found his intelligence (he's incredibly intelligent actually) very attractive though looks-wise, he's ok ok only. Anyhow, I don't even remember his face properly, I just saw him once and I fell for him (in a "crush" sort of way only) and I never understood why I never stopped thinking about that guy. I even started studying a lot coz I wanted to match his intelligence (lol, you know in case I end up marrying him) But I knew (as compared to some of the gullible girls here) that it was just hormones playing and after a few years (after I have entered university) I won't even remember him at all and would probably laugh at my infatuation, which I do now, obviously. But I am proud that I did nothing wrong 🙂

      • Sara, strangely enough I've been in the exact same position as you! I saw this guy only a few weeks ago (my mum is a tutor and her students come to our house) when I opened the door for him, but I remembered to lower my gaze... so I didn't see much of his face. Even my mum and aunt think that he is cute O.o
        You probably won't even read this reply, but it has helped me a lot. I mean I'm still crushing on him, but I know that even if I really like a guy, it's gonna have to wait until marriage. x Haneen

        • I have read your comment and I hope and pray that you just let this feeling pass away like it normally does witht time and you are able to laught at it later 🙂

        • Hey I think I am actually younger then you but girl I know how you feel trying to get attention but somehow I’m not enough so I loved on- Humairah

    • Assalamualaikum,
      I am a 12 years old Muslim girl. And I have a similar problem. I have a crush on this Arabic guy named Ali. He is really cute and different from the others . But the problem is I can't tell him about my feeling. I haven't told my parents about this either . I just don't feel comfortable. I can't even talk to him because we r in different classes. So it really sucks.

      • Sister Syeda, we do not have boyfriend / girlfriend relationships in Islam, so the best thing to do is not to tell the boy about your feelings, nor to tell your parents either. In fact, it's good that you are in different classes, so that there is no reason for you to talk to him or get to know him.

        Wael Editor

      • Hi! I am also 12 years old

        Your story is just like mine.
        Except the boy I like he his a Christian.
        So, nothing can happen. I don't know how I can like
        a Christian.

  3. Deas sis/bro
    i'm 15, and felt thse same feelings, i think your advices help me so much.. All i wanted to say is JAZAKALA.. May allah bless us all!

  4. Firstly, don't worry. I have the SAME EXACT scenario, literally, but I'm a university student. N thank u for posting this question; May we both find peace..
    Your question seems old, so I hope thinks worked out for u, and me..

    • Hey, and me, I'm also a university student and I'm suffering from a crush, he seems islamic aswell, but I know I can't have him, so inshallah going to lower my gaze though it seems so hard!!!

  5. asalamulakum!..imseeing this reply after a year didnt think that id get such a warm response!..yess,this problem continues to remain my weakness..but i did realize thati will not go after these feelings anymore..i will conceal them to the most ..iM regular in salah,and since i havent ever discudded the matter with anyone but ALLAH..IM grateful ..fellow brothers and sisters for guiding me..and i hope that in the near future..posts like these related to young teenage girls and boys can help others facing similar issues too!because we seem to neglect them when we should realize that when children grow up..they need to be given guidance on such ,matters so as to prevent them from doing wrong..thankyou onceagain!

  6. Thanku guys u all hv also helped me a lot n told me the reality of this feeling . @ abdulah I m amazed that guys like you really exist in today's world .. masha Allah . Befor reading your reply I had a very bad image for all all teenage boys

  7. Salaam, i have a crush on a boy and i do not know how to get over it, i have never spoken to him but my feelings are strong. I love everyting about him, his beard, his dressing sense, everything. I understand whatever Allah does, he does it for the best because he loves me, but sometimes i think why is Allah not giving me him?, i guess that's shayton getting to me. I know i can never have him, but my heart is not giving up. He is sooo good looking and i am nothing compared to him, although i am happy with my looks alhamdulliah. This sounds very silly and is close to impossible, but i wish and do dua that somehow he ends up at my door step and asks for my hand in marriage, lol, never going to happen! help me!

    • Salaams,

      The best quick advice I can give about overcoming that you are struggling with emotionally is to make a sincere and deliberate intention to submit to Allah as fully as you can, in every way you can. Look at the areas of your life where you might be neglecting Him, and work on those. Shift your focus away from what you want or feel with this person, and toward what Allah wants for you and how you can fulfill it. If you really want to marry this guy, then let your family know about him so they can contact his family to discuss the possibility of marriage between you two. If you are not willing to do that, then you have to make sure your focus stays on what it should be on, what you were created for: Allah.

      -Amy Editor

  8. As Salam o alikum 🙂
    I'm having a similar problem but that guy is my really good friend. I like him a lot and he's really nice and sweet. Almost all of the time I think about him and that affects my studies. (I'm 16 btw). I wanna stay friends with him but I wanna stop liking him. This is hard really hard. I try to ignore him but I just can't... Almost 7 months have passed and I still have a secret crush on him. Please help me. 🙁

    • I am also almost 16. He doesn’t really affect my studies, but we’re really good friends. But then again, I’m pretty sure ‘good friends’ shouldn’t feel like this.

      I mean, I’ve been taught that I’d be married by seventeen. Unless if I get a good degree, my mom will hold off for two years.

      I never had any objection. Not really. I thought those feelings would go away. Unfortunately, my mind didn’t know how much trouble it was in four years ago.

      Yes..four. I’m hopeless.

  9. Well off course its normal to have a crush. 95 % of the population has had or will have a crush. All of this happens because u r going through puberty. When your body grows even your mind grows thats why people have crushes.

  10. My Friend is having a crush on a girl he is mot redy to leave her I jave tried my best but he have fall in the world of love on her wjat can I do for him to bring him back to Allah?

  11. Dear brothers and sisters, I'm 15 and a half and today I have realized that I have made a mistake in fancying a 16-year-old in my class. The first time I came in my new school in year 11, I thought that he would be the guy of my dreams and will marry him in the future. I felt like this because he was being kind and used to engage eye contact with me as his green eyes were dreamy. He used to smile at me and used me to help him with his homework because I fell for his looks and thought that he was innocent. Then I realized that it was a big mistake because we had an argument and he started it which made me feel aggressive at school and I started to cry at home.
    Guys may seem cute and dreamy but now I have learned that inside some guys are a jerk and want to use girls as a toy.
    They think that they are fit and want to impress their friends and reject girls.
    We girls are very soft in the heart and need to be strong in life to earn respect from families.

    • I understand you completely. It’s nice when a boy values you for who you are and treats you with care. But that might be their exterior shell.

      I, myself being a Muslim, have tried my best to stray away from my own feelings. Four years have passed and apart from our friendship becoming stronger, well I mean, it has, I still have this crush on him.

      I’ve known him since birth. I know how he is. Even if I’m really awkward around him, he never leaves me to join his friends.

      But still.

  12. I've liked someone a lot for two years now, and I just want someone to tell me what to do because I'm completely lost.

  13. Aoa.. i am 16 years old girl ( Muslim ) I want to share my feelings I kinda got feeling for my crush I just want to forbid it but it can't help I always kept thinking about him and I got to know that he has a girl friend it's hurts like hell I don't want to go close to him and make contact with him because I afraid from my akhrat I am a Muslim and totally knows about Islam rules I don't want to break that rules but still it can't help although he has a gf but I can't escape from his memories he even doesn't know me because I don't allow myself to be noticed by him but his thought always torture me and think low of me I love him so much plz advice me what to do??? How to forget him??

    • When the thoughts of him come to your mind, just drive them away and think about something else. In time you will get older, find a husband of your own and be happy, Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

  14. I have now turned 16 and I had a really bad crush on my classmate as I told my friend to tell him that I fancy him but he just stayed quiet. The problem is that I do not want to go out with him.

    • Why did you tell your friend to tell him that you fancy him? There is no benefit in this, sister. We don't date in Islam. Just leave it alone and avert your gaze. When you're old enough, you can get married. Until then, control yourself and focus on your deen, studies, hobbies, friendships, etc.

      Wael Editor

  15. Assalamu alaikum.
    The most respected view is avoiding it. In order to have a crush, you must look at the opposite gender, the forbidden look.

  16. i have a huge crush on my family friend we eent to the same primary school as well and were like best friends i like him for his personality im only 13 and i think im in love with him i dream about him saying he likes me but i would never tell anyone but sometimes i feel like telling him does anyone have any advise

    • There is no benefit in telling him. It's best to try to stop thinking about him or it will only lead you to sins. Try to avoid him, and try to avoid thinking about him.

      Wael Editor

      • thats the thing i see him a lot because hes always around my family . i have a huge crush and my cuzins have noticed it aswell

        • When he is around, you can go to your room or go out to visit a friend.


          • i still have a huge crush on him i asked allah for help and made dua the same night i had a dream and i told my crush and he rejected me and i felt really bad

      • But that’s really hard. I’ve tried my hardest, I exercised, I went on long walks, only to tire my brain from running back to thinking about him..

        I even studied a long time once, fell into a deep slumber. But my dreams always show him. Nothing happens. It’s your normal crazy dream, being late for school, and normal chit chat.

        It’s just that, no matter what I do, he’s always there. I just don’t know how.

    • Sana: i think im in love with him i dream about him saying he likes me but i would never tell anyone but sometimes i feel like telling him

      Some times your eyes/behavior can send signals that you like some one a lot, you don't have to tell in words...your cuzins have noticed it as well............

  17. i am 20 years old.salam to every muslim brothers and sisters.i like a guy older than me.he is my cousin. we are good friends not having relationship like girl and boy friends.we often text eachother and we share over problems and found a solution together,incourage eachother. i wanna know was it a sin???and now we do like eachother but still both of us just can not express our feelings and dont want to .. what should i do???its going hard to control feelings.we are friends from two years..

    • Dear sister,
      it is perfectly okay to have these feelings, as long as you can control them which doesn't seem to be your case: "its going hard to control feelings." Try to lessen your contact with him little by little until you feel there is a halal barrier between the both of you. Since both of you like each other and you are around twenty, you could start thinking hard IF you want to commit yourself to marriage. That is the only way it is possible to be together. Staying secret will only damage you because your relationship is secret so any harm that comes to you will be secret as well. You will not be able to turn to anyone but Allah at that time. First, strengthen your relationship with Allah in any way you find it is weak. Next, seriously consider marriage. It you don't feel you cannot commit yourself, try to make the barrier a bit bigger (only if you need to if you feel you are okay where you are then that is fine) and engage more with Allah. But if you are considering marriage, (it is totally OKAY whether you are not that level or if you are beyond it) try talking generally to your parents about marriage. then, after you have an "okay" you can start talking with your cousin more and asking him about it too. I'm only suggesting the marriage option because you said both of you like each other. There are many people out there other than your cousin who are making dua to wish to be a person like you. I hope you find the true answer in your heart which Allah will place in your heart. Ameen.

      P.S. If you are finding trouble deciding what to do, make istikharah. Your last option is just to submit completely to Allah.

  18. we are friends from since 2 years.i controlled my fellings alot but now its getting harder.if now i just quit from being his friend he will be hurt...

    • Please do not break your relation with him. It is NOT OKAY to hurt a person, especially a family member. Talk to a sheik i my last message was not helpful enough. When I had feelings for someone I would go and listen to like 10 lectures by one scholar, and another like 15 from someone else. The more knowledge you have about it, the better and easier it is to handle it. Maybe it won't be the only time in your life, but it is surely most wise to find happiness through commitment rather than leaving your cousin scarred or getting into a haram relationship. I hope you find what is right, Ameen.

      • This is questionable advice. Her first duty is to Allah. Her obligation is to follow her deen, not to protect the feelings of a man who is not her mahrem and with whom she has no legitimate relationship.

        Wael Editor

  19. Help I have a crush on this guy for 2 years now and now he knows that I like him because when he is near me my friend always looks at me and I blush I don't want to lose my deen I love him because of his personality he sticks up for me when I'm in trouble he is really nice I don't know what to do he is a Muslim in my class I'm in grade 6
    Whenever I cry he always tells everyone to say sorry he means so much to me

    • There is nothing TO do. You can like someone without acting on it. Keep it to yourself. You are very young and there is no benefit in making something out of this.

      Wael Editor

      • Jzk but the only problem is that ive known him for 2 years and he won't leave my mind when I forget about him I get a dream about him and then he is back on my mind

  20. I'm 13 and I really like this guy in school and I always catch him staring at me and i don't know what to do he always comes by his friends locker which is right next to mine and he stares at me during lunch too. My friend who is also a Muslim has noticed that he blushes when I'm around. I don't know what to do pls help me. I really want to follow my deen and not do anything haram.

    • Same as I said to you before. Keep your feelings to yourself and ignore the boy. You are very young and there is no benefit in making something out of this.

      Wael Editor

      • I really don't understand the way you speak to people i'm sorry don't mean to be rude.It seems you like you have never felt theses people's feelings so if you are going to reply try looking in thier point of view feel thier pain and then reply otherwise don't advise cause you are hurting them.

        • Of course I have felt such feelings. I still do. I'm not a robot. But we are not controlled by our feelings. We have the ability and the free will to make choices that are better for us as Muslims and human beings. I gave the sister the advice that is best for her as a Muslim.


  21. OK jazakalah so much I will keep it to myself
    If he stares at u then try not to look at him back don't ignore him but just avert or lower ur gaze OK

  22. Sister hayah make diamond to Allah and ask him to help u it isn't ur fault just as I said before avert or lower ur gaze I pray that Allah blesses us and let's us pass this test ameen

  23. Jzkk for your help i will do my best

  24. Asak all!

    I'm currently 16 years old and I attend an Islamic school. I have co-ed classes, so I have guys in my classes as well. Just a year ago, I started to develop feelings for this one particular boy in my class, and I still have feelings for him. I understand that I'm not supposed to act on my feelings and I'm okay with that. I know what I'm about to say is complicated but I hope you can understand.

    When I started to have feelings for this boy, I discovered my best friend also liked him as well. Although I never told her about my feelings, I still felt heartbroken but didn't want her to feel bad, so I kept it to myself and never told her about them. A while later, I heard from this friend that my crush also liked her back as well. The story went that my crush told my best friend's little sister that he liked my best friend because she was so "pretty" and that he was nervous to talk to her. My friend, who was elated and had accidentally overheard, related the story back to me that same night. Upon hearing what happened, I immediately burst into tears; I had never felt so rejected before in my life. I couldn't tell my parents because they, all my life, have been strict with me, and I couldn't tell any of my other friends either. I felt so heartbroken in that moment, but I couldn't tell anyone, so again I kept it to myself.

  25. Hi Is it allowd in islam to meet the girl who hate me before proposing her. First I were friend at her then she started to hate me. Is it allowd to meet her when she started to hate me in islam before proposing her.

    • brother it is haraam to meet her without older family member so you cannot cross the limits and why you meet with her when she hate you and if you like her why you do not send proposal to her home.

  26. I feel like such a fool after reading these, I've done a terrible thing and I only wish that Allah can forgive me. I have a crush on this guy (I am a 13 year old Muslim girl) and he isn't a Muslim. I've known him for 3 years and we are in the same classes. But I can't help but like him...I really wish I didn't. But he liked me too and it kind of slipped out that I liked him. I felt bad for leading him on because we had these strong feelings for eachother and I know nothing can happen between us. I've tried so hard to get over him and stop liking him But I don't want to hurt him but I have to somehow for the sake of Allah. Please do you think I should ignore him and let him worry or carry on talking like it's nothing happend and neglect his feelings. He confessed that he likes me a year back and I did too but I said I can't go out with him (girlfriend/boyfriend wise) and he was so upset, I hate seeing people upset I just want to make them happy ;( then as time passes by my feelings for him increase and a week ago he told me he still likes me...I feel bad because I lead him on and was talking to him a lot. I've read the majority of these comments and most of them is just how you shouldn't date and it's normal to have these feeling because of hormones. But I feel like this is different. Please brothers and sisters help me out

  27. I have the same problem. Now i am 15 but i have this problem from my childhood.I like the every dashing boy i see .Ok just leave my old crushes.Now the problem is that i have fall in love with a boy who is senior then me ,actually he is my a
    lder brothers friend and he is in o levels.But he is such a dashing person and i had first sight love with him. I told about my this feeligs to one of my frnd but she told my this secret to her alder brother and he told (S) ,the boy i have crush on.Now (s) knows that i have crush on him .Now a days we have summer holidays and i havent seen him but during school days a always keep on watching him whenever i find him, he also see me and he passes smile and we keep on watching each other. He is same as the age of my alder brother but i dont know why i m somuch intrested in him.My frnds and my mother keeps on telling me that the boys just play with girls and then they leave them. I understand all of their advices and i know im doing wrong but i dont know how to controll myself. My mom says that now i m getting older so i must take hijab but i always ignore her and now a days we are having fighting on this issues. I speak in front of my mom, i misbehave with her but then also she keeps me advicing. I dont like her advices , iwant to live my life with my own choice, its my life so let me live it!

    • Plz any one help me on my this issue.I have a big crush on him and the one tging i want to tell tgat i missed in my privious chat.My crush already has a gf. They have this relation since 4 years and the are catched many times by teachers while dating on class room but then also he keeps on staring at me and passes me smile.I loke when he keeps o staring me but his frnds also watch me me and i have many times catched them staring me.I am also hurting my mother by misbehaving with her, i take hijab when i go out side for shoping or anywhee else but i domt want to take hijab in school bit she dont understands my feelings the other problem is that now each and every person in the school knows about my crush and amd they thing i m loose character but its not true i never had a bf.

  28. plz my sweet little sister you are so young so you don't not accepting you mother advice but your mother says correct plz accept his his advice .many boys play game with girls and use them after that boys leave girls after ruined their life girls cannot survive and thought about suicide many girls blackmail by their ex boyfriend .but boyfriend leave them helpless . you can read posts on this website you can search here archives and read them how much girls boyfriend ruined their life and begged help from others so plz stop this and focus on study .This month is Ramadan and repent sincerely and make dua To ALLAH He forgive you what you have done and do ibaadah and pray that ALLAH save you from haraam relationship before marriage and make dua that ALLAH give you best husband if he really like you so you can say him that you should send his parents to my home for ask my hand and we do not keep haraamr relationship if he say yes I will send my parents it is good if he excuse it us not better yet we should focus on study it is big sign if flirt and cut of with him you can say we will marry after complete study you only send parents for proposal if he denied you should stop it and do not talk with him .if you thought about haram relationship you can save you from sin if you think about what what did if he leave me after use me you can avoid this.when you look him you should low your eyes eyes and think ALLAH is watching me and HE can punish me yet so you can save yourself from sin.plz pray for me thanks

  29. And @Khadija I have the same exact story as you! Except my crush told my friends brother and not her sister. And I told my mother even though she is very strict about that stuff i just couldnt resist so if you are ever in that situation you should trust your mother because no one loves you and understand you like your mother. I actually didnt even have to tell my Mother one day she heard me crying in my bedroom and she asked me whats wrong and i said it was embarassing and i couldnt tell her and right after that she guessed my whole situation so my advice to you is to trust your mother she is the best thing that anyone of us has

  30. can you plz delete this web page . actually i have posted my issue here and now i dont want others to see it its an big issue plz my brother's delete this web

    • I'm sorry, we do not delete posts after they have been published. But there is nothing to identify you here, so I don't see why it would be an issue.

      Wael Editor

  31. respected creator of this wenpage plz can you delete this page. actually i dont want others to see my issue plz brother its really a big problem try to understand and delete my post of may 29 and may 28 2017 and this post also .

    • We do not delete posts after they are published. If you like I can change some of the details so no one can guess it is you.

      Wael Editor

  32. Ok then plz change the name or plz just delete it plz

    • In beni suef egypt I saw my classmate in the caviar seafood restaurant maybe he has a crush on me or maybe he admired me but I don t know what his name maybe he is in the same school like me ❤️❤️❤️❤️

      • Asalamualaykum Mariam,

        If you are in secondary school, you are probably not ready for marriage. Therefore, try not to waste time and energy wondering about whether he is crushing on you. I would say give it a few years before you start looking for a spouse...people change a lot over the course of their lifetime. If on the other hand, you are in University, talk to your parents about it. <3



        • Hi am 15,
          I really love a friend and I do get this feeling to hug him, hold hands with him and even to kiss him. And also am sexually attracted to another guy that if he touches me a little I get horny. Well I am very sensitive and I don't know why I'm even writing this here but I feel I need help I really love my relationship with Allah and don't wanna disobey him but at this age it's not easy
          The guy I like says am too young to be thinking of this or that is Haram or not, and that I should live my life... Well I disagreed to that . He says it's normal to hold hands and hug with the opposite sex. And I'm someone that has this goal that hey girl, keep yourself till you marry, I mean for your husband, the first kiss and stuffs I mean it's really hard to see my friends do all these and I just sit back and watch, I mean it's so tempting. I really need someone to talk to, my mum is so busy and dad ....... I need you guys to talk to me, I need advice

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