My husband is having a baby from his ex-wife!
Assalamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah
I am a young mom of three from a previous relationship but have reverted to islam 7 months ago & then soon after I got married to my long time friend (10yrs older than me) who was married. We made nikah because it was the right thing to do! but 2weeks after that we found out that his wife of 10years was pregnant for the first time. I WAS EXCITED FOR HIM AS IT IS HIS FIRST CHILD.But she (the soon to be ex-wife) has been making his life a misery. She has hit him, threatened to hurt me & has tried commiting suicide. I REALLY LOVE MY HUSBAND. Allah saw has placed this love in my heart, but its so difficult to stay positive when I fear losing him.
I know he loves me & will not go back but his ex is having a baby today & I know I should be happy for him, I am but just the thought that him & his ex will always have that connection due to the baby. I just dont know how to feel about it anymore. I know I need to be head strong about this. I just dont know what to do because I know his ex very well. She will use this baby to get to him, try get him back. He is such a good man, Please help me, I'm anxious, afraid of the unknown regarding this situation.
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Listen do not be sad you just do what you go to do and dont worry about it allah will help you if you do what supposed to do this could be your test you know life is hard and it meant to be hard and if you live with it and follow what allah says then inshallah you will be placed in jannah.
Mazedul
Editors comments: Number deleted. Please refrain from posting personal details on the site. Thank you
As salamu alaykum,
Sister, I understand your fears, but let me ask you something, how does he know the baby is his baby?
Being ten years without conceive, to get pregnant now, under so much stress, ...it seems she was two months pregnant when you reverted, ready to divorce, I don´t know it just sound too tight.
Before taking any decision or making any movement he should know for sure he is the father but just the thought of asking a violent person for the DNA test scares me, after the delivery her violent impulses can get worse, please be very careful about it.
If in any case, she continues threatening you or your children don´t doubt on going to the authorities.
I am sorry for not being of so much help.
Wasalam,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I do agree with you Maria but it is too expensive to do DNA test.
As salamu alaykum, Mazedul,
If it is meant to be done, they will get the money and the situation will flow towards it, insha´Allah.
Allah(swt) knows best.
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Maria I got a question for you if my wife ask for divorce when shes angry dont know what shes doing then shall I give her a divorce or what? What islam says about
It and what about if she asks for it when shes not angry what should I do shall I divorve her or what?
I just deleted my first comment because it could be misunderstood, please go to an Imam and to a marriage counsellor, both of you need help to build up your marriage foundations and to know the limits and how to attain yourself to them, insha´Allah.
Divorce is always the last option.
If you need an editor to help you, you can ask one of our brothers editors, I am sure they will, insha´Allah. If you need further information you should log in and submit your question.
I hope, insha´Allah, you and Allah(swt) forgives me if I confused you.
Wasalam,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Mazedul, please log in and write your question as a separate post. I am deleting all the follow-up comments between you and Maria. And do not ask any women for their contact information on this website, please.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam 2 all,
First all i dont understand why everyone is being sympathetic and how can sister Maria say does he even know hes the father or not? That is questioning her dignity her character which is not right unless there is solid proof as the Quran mention witnesses should be brought forth.
The damage has been done you entered into a relationship with a married man whom obviously you knew before as you mention he was a long time friend. The black and white picture is that this man had an extra marital affair with you thats why you ended up getting married so how else do you expect his first wife to react?
There is nothing you can do but leave everything to Allah. Everyone feel free to agree or disagree but that is my opinion..peace
As salamu alaykum, Blue Angel,
Thank you for bringing that to my attention, I was just thinking about the possibility of getting pregnant under so much stress with a man you weren´t able to conceive in ten years and with the shadow of a divorce on her, can happen...., you are right I shouldn´t doubt on her dignity and I do agree on with you that she shouldn´t be friend of her husband while he was married, but now she is the wife and she was the one asking for advice.
Insha´Allah, all of us has so much present the Words of the Quran as you do, me the first one. I hope that person, I questioned her dignity unfairly forgives me, insha´Allah.
Thank you for being so kind and show my fault for me to correct it.
Wasalam,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
First of all as she had bn divorsed from ur husband , therefore she cannot get him back islamically, untill & unless, she gets married with somebody else, and then iff unfortunately she gets divorsed with that guy. then she can get back him.. otherwise she cannot get him back .. .. .
The sister indicated that the man is not yet divorced from his first wife. She called her the "soon-to-be" ex-wife.
Secondly, it's not true that the man cannot remarry his ex-wife. What you described is only true if they have been divorced three times. In that case, she cannot re-marry him unless she marries someone else, then due to life circumstances (without planning) gets divorced from that second person. However, if they have only been divorced once then there is no restriction on remarriage.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
asalamu alikum, me (bengali) and my husband (pakistani) have been married for the last 6 years. he has an ex wife who he has a daughter with.
(I deleted the rest of your comment. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)