Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I have chosen this sister for her piety and beauty but my parents do not like her family’s status.


I have been introduced to a sister through a married friend. The sister's family invited my family to come and see her. When I first saw her, she was beautiful mashAllah. I asked her a few questions about Islam and alhumdulillah I was really happy with the answers she gave me. She is a practicing sister, wearing hijaab, reciting Qur'an and going to Islamic courses and lectures. I have done istkaara and I have a good feeling about her that she will be a good wife for me, a good mother of my children and someone that will help me get to Jannah inshAllah.

The problem is my parents do not like her family because of status. I have been struggling to get married to her for about a year now. Alhumdullilah her family have been very patient and believe that my parents will change their mind. However, I do not believe this will be the case. I am now 26 years old and parents also want me to get married in a couple of years. I do not want this as temptations can lead me to the wrong path. I have been fighting with my nafs and my parents for a long time now and it is very frustrating. I keep saying to myself that this could be a test from Allah swt. However I have chosen this sister for her piety and beauty.

My query is that my parents will never accept her family and therefore I would not be able to marry this sister with their consent. My parents would like me to get married when I am around 30 years old which I will not do. My question is would I be able to marry this sister without my parents consent? The sister has her family backing, and her parents really like me to be the husband of their daughter.

Please could you help me with my situation.

Jazakallah khair



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1 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    You say the woman you have chosen as your wife is pious, with the added bonus of having beauty, there should be no reason why you cannot marry her.

    Your parents are against it because of status. What is their criteria for status? Material wealth or man made social order are not a good measure to go by. Her Islamic status is far more valuable. Indeed when considering a spouse, one should review them on the strength of their commitments to Allah, rather than the fleeting vanities of this temporary life.

    As your parents do not have a valid reason in the sight of Allah to refuse this union, I think they are on the wrong and you should be able to go ahead with this marriage.

    At least try to convey this message, otherwise seek a religious member of the community to help. Also marriage should not be delayed without good reason.

    Your parents are hindering positive progress in your life. I think you should be entitled to go against their wishes and marry this pious woman. You have done all the right things and sought Allah's guidance. We ought to obey our parents unless they go against Allah's decree. This is your life and the mother of your children needs to be someone special.

    If you review the dilemmas on this site, you will see that brother you are an exception. Your parents should be proud of your outlook on marriage and life.

    Insha'Allah you do what is right by Allah and the best for you.


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