Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I left Islam but reverted back and now I want to get married at the age of 43; is it too late?

Marriage - Is it too late?

I am a 43-year old single Muslim woman who lives in a country where the Muslims formed a minority group. As a result my social circle comprises mainly of non-Muslims and my partners have always been non-Muslims. I have also not always been a Muslim all my life.  I have only come back to Islam, to being a Muslim this year. And I am wondering if I am too late to find a Muslim husband.

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11 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    It sounds like you were about to add more to your post, but to give you a brief response it's never too late to find a good, Muslim husband. It's awesome that you have found your way to Islam and I hope that you are finding blessing in this Ramadan as you continue your new journey.

    Finding a spouse can be tricky no matter what. However, there are plenty of guys in your age range who are Muslim and seeking a decent wife, and insha'Allah He will bring you to someone you can find peace and comfort with. Don't give up!

    -Amy Editor

  2. Dear Sister,

    Of course its not too late insha'Allah! Marriage is a sunnah and is always highly recommended. The Messenger of Allah - may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, marries his first wife who was in her forties. He(sws) himself was alot younger than her. He married many women of different ages and circumstances, divorcees, widows, older, young, etc. So do not hold back, ask Allah to guide you, be proud of your Muslim identity and strive forward!

    May Allah(swt) grant you with a spouse and offspring who are the comfort of your eyes and may they be good for you in this life and the next, aameen!!! : )

    SisterZ Editor

  3. Sister,

    It is never too late to marry! May Allah guide a good pious Muslim brother your way...amin.


  4. salam,

    I am sorry for being too strict but it is always fine to know the situation and scrutinize the issue before giving any advice.

    Dear ....,

    I read what you have written but i couldn't understand what you really mean by partners?

    You were a Muslim first and then you reverted to another religion and now again you are a Muslim again?

    How did you revert back to Islam and why did you leave Islam? Have you come back to Islam to find a husband as you know marriage in most of the other religions are not given much importance as long as they can fulfill their wishes and desires with out any (NIKAH)?

    I am amazed with the way you have defined your problem. I believe you would find some one for marriage but the question is whether that person might believe that you had reverted to Islam just because of marriage or it was a full conversion and how could he be assured that you wont revert to any other religion as you don't find him merit and suitable?

    My request is to first fully know what you are and what you want and then decide how you can go on....

    Sayed Baheer Peerzada

    • Salaams,

      A lot of the questions you are asking deal with this sisters past and how she got to her current point of life, while her question is about how she should move forward in seeking a husband. I'm not sure why you brought up the aspect of converting to marry someone when this sister clearly states she is single with no current marital prospects. I don't think the answers to any of your questions are going to tell her what her chances are of finding a Muslim husband, so it wouldn't be necessary for her to answer them for you to give her meaningful advice.

      -Amy Editor

  5. u reverted back to islam

    first of all's believe that allaha is 1 and only 1 to worship

    second pray 5 times namaz a day and beg from allaha forgiveness for what

    bad deed u did in ur past and never commit it in future

    believe in allaha till ur death and do no convert to any religion in future

    and seek a good man who want to marry second time and marry him respect

    him and become his wife

    and always loyal to allaha and ur husband

  6. Dear Amy, Najah and Sister Z, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I am heartened by your encouragements. Part of me was about to throw in the towel when I wrote my question on this site. I was discouraged by the limited opportunities I have at my age of meeting available Muslim men especially since I am living in a country where the Muslims are minority. Most of the Muslims in my country tend to marry earlier than the other communities with many are married by their early to mid twenties. This leaves a 40-something year old single woman being an anomaly.

    I have been praying and I hope someday my prayers will be answered. I am aware and understand the concept of complete surrender to Allah when making doa which means I am not supposed to state a timeline of being married by 44. As Allah is All-Knowing, He would have read my heart desire of wanting to be married as soon as possible for reasons besides forming a family and to be a supportive & nurturing wife. Since Allah knows that I would like to also get married because I want to fulfill my sexual needs but do not wish to commit fornication or adultery, surely my doa would be more sincere if I include all of the reasons why I would like to get married before I turn 44? Or should I continue to not having any timeline indicated in my doa while working on my heart simultaneously to completely surrender to the will of Allah and accept the possibility that I might end up unmarried?

    To Sayeed Baher and 'Young Muslim Boy', thank you for your comments and taking the time to share your thoughts. I am single and have not been married before however I have been in long term relationships (with agnostic and Christian men). I have received several marriage proposals, mostly from non-Muslims, in the past which I have rejected because deep inside I have always wanted a Muslim marriage and family. Perhaps deep within my heart and soul I have always been a Muslim even as I explored other organized religions in my spiritual quest to find the meaning and purpose of life and in forging my relationship with Allah.

    • Salaams,

      Sister, I remind you that the Duas made when we break fast during this blessed month of Ramadan have a special priority in being answered. You can ask Allah for whatever you wish, including finding a spouse in the next year. Never feel shy to ask Allah for your hearts desires at any time, and trust that His response (whatever that may be) is the PERFECT response to your situation.

      So while you continue to come to Him with your needs and wishes with all of their valid reasons, also come with the intention to submit to His plan for your life even if it means having sabr for more than a year's time. In other words, you can do both: tell Allah what you would like, then continue to wait as you see what He likes for you.

      -Amy Editor

      • Dear Sister Amy,

        Thank you for your calming advice. Your words are like balm that soothes my fears that perhaps I have dallied too long, wasting my youth, beauty and child-bearing potential. While I am remorseful about some of the decisions I have made I realized that the point of power is in the present moment thus I need to stop looking at my life through the rear-mirror.

        I shall continue to pray and dua to Allah with my needs and wishes while submitting to His plan for my life. Since I started praying May 2012, I have realized that praying has been the best form and way for me to find solace and peace in my heart. However when fear grips me, I become delinquent about praying regularly so I shall work on building my self-discipline and not let the fear stop me from praying.

        Thank you for the encouragement not to give up.

        I like to thank the other sisters too, Najah and Sister Z for giving me the encouragement not to give up, to continue with my praying and dua.

        I deeply appreciate all of the encouragements and dua.

        Please dua and pray for me that my faith is strengthen with each passing day. Mostly that I hope and dua that I develop the self-discipline to pray 5 times a day till it becomes second nature for me.

        Thank you with much gratitude


        • Salam Sister,
          I would like to give you an advice as you strive to do your 5 daily prayers. There is an app for Android Phone and I believe other smartphones. It is called Muslim Pro. Please download it if you can and it will serve as a reminder for your prayers. And whenever you feel so stressed and don't feel like praying, remember it is the devil whispering to your ears and he will stop when you stand up and pray. Practice makes one perfect so don't give up, don't let the Shaytaan get his wish. Congratulations on coming back to Islam and please keep that faith until you leave this earth. I hope you can get better in your prayer discipline and I hope you find a suitable husband. There are divorced, widows and some men who haven't been lucky to find a soul-mate. You can always involve your parents (which is the most recommended way), by word of mouth someone can be interested in you. There are also Islamic dating websites such as PureMatrimony you could try. Don't give up, keep doing the Du'a and remember Allah (S.W) knows what is best for us. I will keep you in my prayers.

  7. Dear Amy,

    Please carefully read what Malisa has written to define her problem then you will surely understand why i have asked those questions.

    She has mentioned something as partners which is of a question itself if you could answer.

    What did she mean by first leaving Islam and then reverting to another religion and after some time reverting back to Islam. For exploring other religions do you feel it is legal to revert from your religion?
    Does Islam allow you such?

    The matter of Marriage is not something what can advice as you know the night of nikah and death is with Allah and he has predetermined for each and every body no matter at what age and with who.

    My questions from Malisa are for clarification of the issue and I believe she knows and understands what i mean by my questions.

    I do believe what you did in the past is of no importance but the point is that your past is so much related to your present and it certainly affects your present.

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