Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Changing name after marriage and conversion and seeing angels in dreams

Muslim names

Assalamu Aleykum, I have two questions:

1) Alhamdulillah I got married  Islamically, inshallah now going to do the civil ceremony. I read and understand that I have to keep my fathers name. Is it like how in Islam people take dads name  as middle name and grandfather as  sir name? My birth name is Sarah O'Connor; I am keeping my first name the same. My father name is William John O' Connor and his dad is John O' Connor. So, would I still be Sarah O' Connor or Sarah William John or can I have my name as Sarah Yahya as john is Yahya in Arabic?

Also, I was told that I can't perform hajj if I don't have a Muslim name. I hope I explained myself properly. Please help me,

2)  A few days ago I had a dream and I was standing on a road I am not sure where, it was night time. I looked above me and was scared and amazed by many bright shooting lights almost like shooting stars but bigger and closer not far from me. They were shooting or moving in many different directions and I was in shock a bit, excited and scared at same time (this dream felt very real). Then, one came towards me just above my head looked like a bright light but faintly I see a man's face and body very athletic body and wings. I was in so much shock and fear I couldn't move or speak and very scared, in the dream still, I ran to my husband and said I see angels and he told me angels are with us now but you cannot see them.

I then woke up feeling scared and shakkey it felt so real, I told my husband he said Allah must love me to show me angels in my dream, so I then googled to see if I can find any hadiths on dreams etc. I came across blogs about dreaming of angel Gabriel or two angels fighting or many angles in a town means a religious or innocent going to die. I am not sure if my dream meant anything and I am not sure what angel it was and there were many but only one I saw clearly. Are dreams like this from Allah? Is it good or bad? Is there any meaning or should I forget about it?

~Muslima 11.


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14 Responses »

  1. Salamualaikum sister,

    I congratulate you because it seems to be a good dream. But remember some pointers about dreams. When you see a good dream that pleases you then thank Allah and tell it only to those who are dear to you. But if you see a bad dream that displease you, seekrefuge in Allah from what you have seen and do not tell it to anyone.

    Interpretation of dreams is a very critical issue, which scholars refrain from doing. There are very few scholars who have this knowledge. And interpretation may differ from person to person. For this reason, you should not give much importance to dreams. Just thank Allah for the good dreams and seek refuge in Allah from what seems bad, of the dreams.

    And sister, please do not follow the blogs about dream interpretation and do not participate in programs that are meant for dream interpretation, because of the reasons I mentioned above.

    For your first question, keeping your father's name is something what Islam prescribes, if you say Sarah bint William, that is perfectly fine, as we get in the name of Ali bin Abi Taalib (Radiyallahu Anhu). It may depend on customs. If you see my name it is Muhammad Waseem and my sir name is Saifullah. My father's name is not used in my name which is Ansar, and this is as per customs in our place. Islamically, per me, you should be called Sarah William O' Connor. Because even sir names are important. The reason why these names can not be changed is that Islam preserves lineages and these names point to where you come from.
    You can not translate John to Yahya, though they are the same, but two people, one named Yahya and one John can not be the same. But it would still be fine, as I mentioned about customs, if you are just called Sarah O 'Connor (insha Allah). I mentioned that father's name is required, because any Sahabi you see has his or her father's name suffixed after ibn or bint.

    May Allah Guide us all to His True Path, until we meet Him
    Aameen
    Wasslamualaikum
    Muhammad Waseem Saifullah

  2. Before i have converted to islam i also had a dream and saw the symbol of allah, before i did not know what the symbol means until my muslim aunt told me after i showed her my drawings.
    my life was bad before that dream, but after that my life become good so i continue to become a muslim and i am proud.

  3. Salaams,

    Maybe I had a misunderstanding, but I thought when we (women) have been advised to keep our father's names, it meant our last (maiden) names. I didn't think there was anything inherently necessary in changing our middle names? However I can understand with the birth of a new child that the custom is to have the father's first name as a middle name regardless of the gender of the baby...but I always thought that was more of a cultural thing than an Islamic stricture. I thought Islamically, the only "fard" was that the last name of the female mirror their father's surname.

    Does anyone have any further clarification on this?

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Sr. Amy
    It was the Judeo-Christian tradition, that the woman was considered property - hence her name was changed whenever her "ownership" changed. Islam put a halt to that. As you said above about new born child's middle name being father's first name, that too is a reflection of Indo-Pakistani culture, where the wife takes the husband's 1st name and makes it her last! It is all warped culture - just bec the wife now WANTS to belong to her husband and does not in most instances like taking his family name - I asked a few of my friends who did that and the response was: We don't want to "belong" to our inlaws, so we took the husband's first name!! They already detest being part of the inlaw family, starting the seeds of hatered.

    The right Islamic way is: Your First name followed by your dad's name/family name. To show the world that you are this man's daughter/blood. Or one can do it the Arabic way, call your self Amy daughter of---(insert mother or father's name)

    • Salaams,

      Right serendipity, you are saying exactly what I had understood. So in this poster's instance she would be Sarah o'connor or Sarah Marie (or whatever her real middle name is) o'connor, not necessarily sarah William o'connor, right?

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • There is nothing wrong with changing your name . It's not like people will don't know your father .

        If a woman want to change her last name to her husbands , there is nothing with that .

        You can always see the birth certificate if you want to know the lineage(the father ) of the wife .

        --------------------------------------

        ''In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
        Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
        It is permissible for a woman to change her surname to her husband's surname. The verse of the Qur'an as well as the hadith provided to prove "impermissibility" are incorrectly understood.

        It was a practice of the people of the past to regard an adopted child equal to a blood related child and the adoptive parents would link the adopted child's lineage with their own lineage. Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam) had adopted Zaid bin Haritha as a son before prophethood. People called him Zaid, the son of Muhammad (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam). Allah Ta'ala reprimanding this act revealed the following verses:

        مَا جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِرَجُلٍ مِنْ قَلْبَيْنِ فِي جَوْفِهِ وَمَا جَعَلَ أَزْوَاجَكُمُ اللَّائِي تُظَاهِرُونَ مِنْهُنَّ أُمَّهَاتِكُمْ وَمَا جَعَلَ أَدْعِيَاءَكُمْ أَبْنَاءَكُمْ ذَلِكُمْ قَوْلُكُمْ بِأَفْوَاهِكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَقُولُ الْحَقَّ وَهُوَ يَهْدِي السَّبِيلَ ( ) ادْعُوهُمْ لِآَبَائِهِمْ هُوَ أَقْسَطُ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ فَإِنْ لَمْ تَعْلَمُوا آَبَاءَهُمْ فَإِخْوَانُكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَمَوَالِيكُمْ وَلَيْسَ عَلَيْكُمْ جُنَاحٌ فِيمَا أَخْطَأْتُمْ بِهِ وَلَكِنْ مَا تَعَمَّدَتْ قُلُوبُكُمْ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا ( )

        Allah has not made for any man two hearts in his chest cavity, nor did he make your wives whom you subjected to Zihar, your mothers, nor did he make your adopted sons your (real) sons. That is (merely) a word uttered by your mouths. And Allah says the truth and He shows the (right) way. [33:5] Call them by (the name of) their (real) fathers; It is more equitable in the sight of Allah. And if you do not know their fathers, then they are your brothers in faith and your friends. There is no sin on you in the mistake you make, but in that which you do with intention of your heart; and Allah is Most-Forgiving, Very-Merciful.
        In the above verses, Muslims are commanded not to call an adopted child by his adoptive parents. Instead, he should be called by his real father's name if the real father is known. If not, then he is your brother in deen, but he is not your son. (Ibn Kathir)

        One can clearly see that the verse does not discuss the issue of changing surnames. It discusses the changing of a person's lineage in which he is no longer attributed towards his real father but towards someone else.

        As for the narration:

        ابن عمر أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إن الغادر ينصب له لواء يوم القيامة فيقال هذه غدرة فلان بن فلان – البخارى

        Ibn 'Umar narrates Rasulullah (Sallalahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) said, "Verily a betrayer will have a banner raised for himself on the Day of Judgment and it will be said this is for the betrayal of so and so son of so and so. (Al-Bukhari)''

        ''When a woman accepts the surname of her husband, no one has the slightest thought that she is attributing her lineage to someone other than her father. In today's time, the purpose of surnames is not to represent the lineage of a person. Surnames are for associating oneself to a particular clan or family. When a woman gets married, she comes into her husband's family and is considered part of the family. It does not imply that she is now linked by lineage with her husband's family.''

        • I might also add that ,the salafi and hanbali view are different . I am not a salafi or hanbali , hence I don't agree to their view point .

        • Salaams,

          I think it would be a good idea to reference where you got this opinion, because a lot of folks look at it the other way around so if this is in fact accurate information we would need to know where you got it so anyone who is interested can research further.

          By the way your statement about finding paternal lineage on the birth certificate isn't entirely true. If a couple is married and the child is not biologically the husband's, he can still be named as the father on ther certificate if the mother wants just by virtue of the marriage. Not only that, some people don't even have a father listed at all either because the father is unknown to the mother or she didn't have enough of his info (DOB/SSN) to list him. At least these cases are true in the US.

          Far be it from me to want to go against Islamic injunctions, but if it is in fact haraam haraam for a girl not to keep her maiden name, surely there must be reasons beyond it being an inheritance or identification issue since most countries have their own laws governing how inheritance works out- and names don't even factor in that. I also think there are a lot of ladies, particularly converts, who would rather dissociate their identity from their family of origin only because they would rather have an Islamic name, and so they may even change both first and last name legally even if they're not married! Or, should a woman who has been married and known by her married name for 20 years or more, and then converts, change her name back to her father's name? What if that father was terribly abusive and now deceased, and she has no contact (by choice) with that side of the family....and she doesn't want to be linked to it at all even if only by name? All of these situations are possible, so that's why I hope we can collect some sound and usable info on the subject to help guide any who might be in exceptional circumstances.

          -Amy
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • I think it would be a good idea to reference where you got this opinion, because a lot of folks look at it the other way around so if this is in fact accurate information we would need to know where you got it so anyone who is interested can research further.

            I got it from islamonline . You can search from there . Besides , I have personally asked several scholars and imam regarding this issue and they have clearly said that it is not a sin to change the wife's name to her spouse's name . I must also mention that , Muslim women who do change their last name are not becoming slaves or property of their husband . Some people are quick to label those Muslim woman ignorant who do change their names and tell them that they are committing a sin by doing so .

            '' Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:

            "There is no specific tradition of last name among Muslims. Sometimes the people take the last name of the family (Qurashi, Hashimi), sometimes they take their last name from their profession (Qassab, Najjar), sometimes they take their last name from the city in which they are born (Makki, Madani, Shami, Masri) and many other ways. The proper way in Islam is that the person should be known by his/her name and the name of his/her biological father. It is not required for a woman to take the name of her husband, but it is also not forbidden if she is recognized as the wife of so-and-so."

            Dr. Siddiqi further adds:

            "It is permissible for a woman to change her last name after marriage. A woman can introduce herself or others can introduce her as the wife of so and so. In the ahadith, we see that the Prophet's wives were sometimes referred to with the names of their fathers and sometimes as "wife of the Prophet". These things are more based on cultural practices and whatever is convenient can be done. What is forbidden in Islam is that a person refers to him/herself as the son or daughter of someone other than the real biological father.''

            The scholars have interpreted the hadiths to mean that it is forbidden to change your last name ONLY if you intend to break your ties from your family by doing so. This is a major sin.

            However if you intend to keep your ties with your family, then there is no problem in changing your surname to that of your husband.

            See the link below from sunnipath.com for further interpretation.

            Reputable scholars have a better understanding of these issues because they study various sources. We should look to them for advice and guidance.

            http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=2523&CATE=10

            Like I said , in my last post . There is a difference of opinion regarding it . Some scholars allow it , some don't . Now , it is up to your choice . IslamQA will offer you another opinion regarding this issue .

            By the way your statement about finding paternal lineage on the birth certificate isn't entirely true. If a couple is married and the child is not biologically the husband's, he can still be named as the father on ther certificate if the mother wants just by virtue of the marriage. Not only that, some people don't even have a father listed at all either because the father is unknown to the mother or she didn't have enough of his info (DOB/SSN) to list him. At least these cases are true in the US.

            I am sorry but I think this discussion is only regarding muslim women . As far as I know , these problems mostly occur in areas where Muslims are in severe minority . . On the other hand , Muslims in muslim majority countries don't go through the problems you have listed . Besides , these problems are exceptional and happen very rarely . I think it is best to address these problems to a qualified imam or scholar face to face .

            Far be it from me to want to go against Islamic injunctions, but if it is in fact haraam haraam for a girl not to keep her maiden name, surely there must be reasons beyond it being an inheritance or

            I would not be soo quick to call it haram without understanding the situation .

  5. Right, Amy! Unless Sarah is from the South Asian culture 😉
    Also: having a middles name is something western - I am from Pakistan myself - we South Asians do not have middle names - when I moved to teh US, I was asked for a middle and quickly invented one (which I really don't like - and at that time had thought was not a huge deal) and now have to right it on all legal documents!! LOL!!!

    • That's strange they required that from you. When my husband and I had our first child (we are both born/raised american mutts) we didn't give her a middle name at all, and no one asked us to. We didn't do it for any particular reason except that her first name was so "perfect" we couldnt find a middle name to compliment it. Her social security card and birth certificate just have her for a first and last name.
      Maybe you can petition to drop your middle name if you don't really want it.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. Nah - I did think about it - decided it was too much botheration - that middle name is stuck with me till I die - unless I move away from the US and dump all my legal paperwork from here.

  7. Salaams,

    Just to clarify, I was not saying it was haraam, I really don't know what classification name changing would fall under, if any. That's why I said "if"...and "if" it does turn out to be haraam somehow, then I myself would be in sin because I did take my husband's surname. So I appreciate any information as much as the OP.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I understand . The primary reason I commented on this question was just to inform those people who are quick to call judgements and start to condemn people or culture without having a sound knowledge of islamic fiqh and hadith .

      Better to leave it on the scholars .

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