In love with a guy from school, should I tell him how I feel?
Dear Brothers and sisters,
I asks for some good advice about the situation I am in. For a long time I have been in love with the this guy from school. He's not the most attracive person in the world, but for some reason I liked him which then accumulated to the point that I love him.
We have never talked to each other, but he has shown me many signs that he likes me which was what got me into him. He is loud, crazy in the cutest way, and funny. He sent his friends to tell me what a nice, beautiful and respectful muslim girl I am, and he has always backed me up when I got in trouble or any type of situaltion.
He is the only thing that is ever on my mind. When I eat, sleep, talk, hang out with friends- he's always on my mind. But these emotions started when I was in the 7th grade, and now I am moving on to 11th grade. It's no joke that this is really love. I didn't see him for a while after middle school and that was kind of the end of us, especially because we went to different high schools. But the most depressing factor is that I never told him I loved him or even gave any signs of my love to him. He suffers thinking he is alone in this love story, when he really isn't. He has written me the cutest and sweets poems that I truly love.
I can't live like this forever. All the moments and memories keep playing in my head over and over again and it's sooooo depressing that I know he feels the same about me, but different factors of our lives are blocking us from being happy.
Brothers and sisters, please tell me what I should do. It's been a year and I have been holding this in and keeping it to myself and now i can't anymore. Should he know how I feel about him, or should I keep it to myself, or what should I do? I need help, it's been 5 years and I am suffering in love with him.
-sarah
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It seems to be Infatuation and not love. Both of you are too young to know depth of a love relationship. I know it would hard to accept it but its true. therefore, It would be wise for you to stop thinking about him and focus on your most important aspect o life at present i.e. your studies.
If you still feel that you are both interested in each other, have patience, focus on your studies only and once you both get settled in terms of education and career, then you can think of taking it ahead. But right now, its not a good time to either disclose your feelings for him or ask his. Patience is the key.
P S
You seem to be a good Muslim girl and as you said that people too say such thing.
then i hope that you will be sensible enough (dont you think )that since marriage is not possible at this point and there is no such thing B.F/G.G thing in Islam (actually a sin) that you should save yourself from going astray. Think about it.
Recite
Al-Mu'akhkhir (The Delayer)-
Amal: He who repeats this Name in his heart 100 times each day, only love of Allah will remain. No other love can enter
Al-Quddus (Ya-Quddus) The Holy
Amal: The hearts of those who repeat this Name 100 times each day will be free from anxiety
(source Internet)
I am sure it will help you to be at peace.
Sweetheart don't even go there..
It's just a crush..
Trust the ppl on here...ppl older than you and with more life experience. It is just a crush..infatuation. It seems like its love and when I tell you its not you might think..oh she doesn't know...she doesn't know whats in my heart etc etc,,...but I do..Trust the advice you've been given and don't waste your time with this please.
10 years down the line you will regret it and that's when it will be too late to go back and change things,,,you have the chance now to make the right choice.
Wait for marriage.
If you don't....you will end up hating yourself and not being able to forgive yourself.
Please don't go down this road.
I really hope you will listen.
Take care and stay safe. x
Salaam sis.Firstly I must commend you for having the decency and strength of will to resist getting into a relationship with this guy, even though you know he is interested in you and you reciprocate his feelings.Not many teens nowadays have that, even Muslim teenagers.So you should be very proud of yourself, this shows you were brought up well and have good values.Having said that, I will now strictly warn you about the dangers of revealing your feelings to him.Why?Ok, let's say that you do reveal your feelings to this guy and the two of you end up in a relationship, emotional involvement, whatever.What will be the outcome of this relationship?The two of you are very young now and it would take you atleast 7-8 years to be financially stable enough to get married.A lot can happen in 7-8 years.His feelings might change, your feelings might change.Your families might not click.Sis, I know that teenagers don't think very long term and that 'first love' always seems so beautiful and perfect, especially when reciprocated.But you need to think long term about this.There is always a huge risk of such relationships not culminating in marriage, and what would that give you except heaetbreak, guilt and loss of self worth?This is why Allah has forbidden pre marital involvement, because He doesn't want sweet, innocent girls like you to get hurt.And sis, true love isn't being sent love poems by a popular, cute guy.True love is acceptance of one another with all their good and bad qualities, true love is going through the ups and downs of life together, true love is having and bringing up children together, true love is growing old together.And when does all this happen?After marriage.So sis, you should hold your peace,study hard, make something out of yourself, pray to Allah 5 times a day, strengthen ur faith and ask Him to keep you under his protection always and give you a good, kind, faithful spouse later on in life, with whom you can share all the intensity and beauty of true love , in a halal way, without fearing any repurcussions!I wish you best of luck in your life ahead, dearie!
My little sis, as-salam-alaikum 🙂 i was missing you. hope doing good.
Kudos, your answer detailed what that i missed to write.
Salaam dear sis, I was just thinking the same thing, I had clicked on the other two new posts to give a response, but your response had already covered everything I wanted to say! 🙂 it seems we think alike on a lot of things! Allah bless you always.
we are alike simply coz we are Sisters 🙂 isn't it
Btwn..do put your views on those questions too. your elaboration with different and detailed words will help the seeker to understand things better.
May Allah guide us all on right path. ameen.
Yes true 🙂
Assalam O Alaikum sister Sarah Susu,
I agree with everything said above. You should not tread on this path which will definitely take you away from Allah (swt) and onto a path of destruction. Do not reciprocate or initiate any romantic contact with the boy, be firm with him so he knows that you are not interested and will eventually back off. Try to learn more about your religion, make friends with sisters who are practicing. What you are feeling is because of your hormones which are all over the place at this age for everyone regardless of their gender. Also, our society, mainstream media are all portraying have glamorized these haram/immoral acts of romantic male/female friendship which only leads to pain, humiliation and disintegration of society.
So, try to be wise and don't become another number in long list of women who have been betrayed and left to grieve on their own suffering from heartache, sufferings and pain.
May Allah (swt) guide you and other brothers and sisters to be smart and not fall into this trap of shaytan by learning about their religion and implementing it in their day to day life. Amin
Muhammad1982,
IslamicAnswers.com, Editor.
AoA, i think everybody know that wht islam says about relationship in bw male n female, the limitations n ristrictions are not a secret nor complicated, so in my opinion this question is not suitable for ISLAMIC FORUM. Coz the only n simple answer is a BIG NO.
The question is suitable--in fact many ppl on this site (Islamic site for getting advice) have asked similar questions or inquired about similar problems.
The girl may not know or needs to be reassured that her feelings are a result of hormones, but she shouldn't act on them--knowing how to deal with emotions isn't easy for everyone--especially if you think that you are the only one facing such an issue and others make it look easy--so, it seems she wants guidance on how to deal with her emotions/feelings. We might not be able to control our feelings, but certainly we can control our actions.
To the OP,
I would suggest that you focus on your studies and do a lot of dhikr and remember Allah as much as you can. Do some volunteer work and busy yourself with a hobby in your spare time.
Though it is going to be difficult to focus elsewhere, you can do it if you put some effort into it.
Ideally, if you and him were of a marriageable age and your parents agreed, that could be pursued, but I am assuming you and him are rather young. Do not pursue a haram relationship as it will only cause your heartache and pain on top of the fact that Allah will not be pleased.
May Allah ease your difficulties. Ameen.