My father cheated on my mother, do I tell her?
Salam Alikom
My sister just found out that my father was in a relationship with her 25-year old maid, she confronted her maid and themaid admitted that he approached her last year during his visit (when the maid found out about her husband marrying second wife she was devastated and wanted a shoulder to cry on) the maid admitted she made mistake but this year during his visit the maid didn't agree to anything and said she came to her senses and realized that what she was doing is Haraam. My sister confronted my father and advised him to get married and that it's his right to marry more than one to avoid Zinah, he admitted that he made mistake, that he came to end it, refused the idea of getting married and told her to get rid of the maid. My sister got rid of the maid.
My question now is should we tell our mother about it, we are afraid it might happen again and we don't want her living in the dark, my mother is living happily with him and doesn't know about anything. At the same time we don't want them to break their marriage and feel guilty about it. They have been married for nearly 40 years and if she finds out she will be devastated.
Please any advice would be greatly appreciated
Thank you,
Jazakom Allah khiran
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Salaams,
I don't feel it is your place to inform your mother of what transpired. If your father wants to tell her, that's his decision. However, Allah may hide this sin on his behalf if he truly repents and chooses not to do so again.
The only issue that may be of concern is whether or not any sexually transmitted diseases may have been contracted by what has happened. I suggest you admonish your father to get tested, and then retested in about 6 months to make sure. If either of the tests come up positive then I believe your father would be obligated to let your mom know so that she can take care of her health.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I agree completely with Amy. If you tell your mother, it will cause her great pain and upset and will only damage your parent's marriage even more than it has already been damaged without her knowing. So conceal your father's sin, but admonish him and help him to stay on the right track from now on.
It is reported that the Prophet(sws) has said: "Whosoever covers (the sins of) a Muslim, Allah covers (his sins) on the Day of Judgment." (Reported by Bukhari)
Allah has says in the Quran, Surah 71, Ayah 9: "The believers, men and women, are Auliyâ' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin Al-Ma'rûf (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism and all that Islâm orders one to do), and they forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islâm has forbidden)."
May Allah forgive your father and make his and your mother's marriage a strong and blessed one, aameen.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I don't think you should get involved in the problem and just stay quiet and I think its your dads decision to wither tell your mom or not... and if he continues to lie to her then he knows its a sin and Allah may or may not forgive but Allah is forgiving all.
so in my opinion I don't think you should get involved