Islamic marriage advice and family advice

confused after istikhara, who do I marry?

diverging paths


I am a 26 year old gal from Pakistan.  I love a guy... he is quite good.   We have known each other for almost 2 years now. His job is not very good.  At first my family was supportive, but later on they started showing some hesitation considering his job;  I did have my reservations as well so I did istikhara for 7 days.  I didn't get any dream, but in the morning everyday I got up very satisfied.  Then one of my best friends, who is a very pious girl as well, did it for me and she determined before hand that if she would see red color that will be no, and if she will see green that will be yes.  But then she saw white.   Now I just got some proposoals that are very good and my family wants one of them for me, while I am not satisfied and I am confused, please help me!!!!

-ayesha 222

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8 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    I am by no means an expert on dream interpretation or interpreting istikhara, but the way it looks like on the surface is that there is nothing in particular saying that this man is a "no" or a "yes"- basically the choice is yours.

    I understand that you have some other proposals and that it seems you have several men you can now choose from. Perhaps you should make istikara again about all of them and see which one you are guided to. If you are not guided to anyone in particular then choose the one that feels like the best option in your heart.

    Sometimes when faced with a choice we don't want to make mistakes and choose something that could wind up being bad for us down the road- that's completely natural. However there are times in life when we just have to make the best choice we can when we have limited guidance or information. Sometimes that choice is going to be right for us, and sometimes it will be wrong, but we have to remember that part of life is taking risks and being willing to learn from mistakes that we might make, if that's the case.

    Ask your friends and family about your potential suitors and try to find out as much as you can about all of them. Explore your own feelings and thoughts about each of them, and once you have gathered as much information as you can, make a choice. Sometimes the choice might be "none of them" and you want to wait for more options! There are no hurries here, just do what you're comfortable with, even if that includes waiting for Allah to give you a clearer signal on who to marry.

    -Amy Editor

  2. Assalamu Alaikum Warhamthallahi Wrbkathuhu,

    Sister, Just put your trust in Allah(swt) and go for a proposal that you feel happy with. As im sure you're aware, when choosing a patner, the most important thing is piety. Job,status etc can be changable, but if you're to be successful then marry a brother a who is religious. I think you should consider this factor and use this to determine the person you want to marry. Job, money is only for this dunya and if Allah(swt) wills, he can take it away from you at anytime. We should never get too attached to the luxaries of this life.

    Remember why we're here is this dunya sister. Also, consider, what kind of father do you want for your children. How do you want your kids to grow up? The father is a great influence on the child, so inshallah, i hope you choose wisely. May Allah(swt) give reward you with a poius brother.

  3. I need your help urgently

    • Zarqa, please log in and submit your question as a post and we’ll publish it right away inshaAllah.

      Wael Editor

      • Bro Wael ,

        How you manage in this lockdown ? I mean are you able to do administrative work here like filtering unwanted contents etc etc ?
        Also it seems , there is not much activity in this website in last 7-8 months compare to One year/ 2 year back .
        I meant even before lock down the amount of queries coming on this site have become very very less .

        Hope things are fine .

        • Yes, I check the comments several times a day. I'm aware that the activity level has gone down. I don't mind, actually. I only have one editor to help me, and I don't have time to manage and moderate a high level of activity. I'm currently out of work due to the lockdown, with no money coming in, and I have to focus on trying to earn a living.


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