Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Confused and lost. Will my duas be accepted?

fruit faith

I don't really know how to start, and what to say. This is the first time I've registered to something like this. I am a 17 years old girl, who is confused, feels lost, feels like I have lost touch of my religion. I want to become a better person, and I don't know where to start.

Also, there's this muslim boy that I am just friends with, I've always made prayed to Allah that one day I want to marry him. He's perfect, everything I want in a husband I really want to marry him. Do you think Allah will accept my du'aas?
Thank you. Jazakallah



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6 Responses »

  1. Asalaam alaikum Sr.Nazim,

    To answer your last question first, Allah (swt) accepts and answers all sincere and halal prayers, but we may not understand how they are answered. There are a few ways that have been narrated as the first way is that Allah (swt) gives us that which we want quickly, the second is that He gives it, but with delay, or that He uses our prayer to cover up our sins, thereby protecting us and shielding us from the humiliation that our sins would bring, if known to the world. Another narration says that He may wait to answer our prayer until we enter heaven, at which point every believer will say, "Oh, would that none of my prayers had been answered!" This would be because the reward for those prayers in Heaven is more magnificent and beautiful than anything we can comprehend while living on this Earth.

    So always pray with humility and sincerity, as Allah (swt) hears and will answer you in the best judgement of His Infinite Wisdom. Another reason is that when you pray to Allah (swt), you are acknowledging that there is no god, but Him. It is a constant reaffirmation of "La ilaha ilallah!" So in your prayer with the Most Magnificent Lord, He instructs the angels to witness the creation of free-will who is praying. At that point, the angels knowing how great this moment is, begin to praise Allah (swt) reverently. And it is said, the angels plead to Allah (swt) to forgive you of your sins.

    Alhamdulillah, for such a beautiful narration. It is amazing what Divine Mercy the Greatest Lord has given you by bestowing you with this ability to worship Him. Ponder about this for awhile and think of it in your young mind to carry within your young heart.

    Remember that the prayer must be halal. You cannot engage with a haram relationship and expect halal duas from it. I know that you say this boy is just a friend, but when you start to see him in a romantic and marriageable way, it begins to enter the need for a mature handling. So temper your mind of this boy you have feelings for and talk with your parents about marriage, if this is what you feel you need at this time. Marriage is a bold and wonderful step in your life, but it also must be done with delicate care and patience. Speak with your mother kindly and listen to her advice. Do not be ashamed to share your emotions and desires, because she will have been through all of that in her life before. She will help you to understand and cope with this idea of marrying love and will help you to channel it in the proper ways, Insha'allah.

    About not knowing where to start: you already have! You've taken the first step to seeking guidance and counsel. Masha'allah, you knew, though weren't aware of it! Young woman, you are indeed blessed by the Beneficent Lord! Consider this as your first step towards greater understanding, love and devotion to Allah (swt). The symbolic mustard seed in your heart, put there as a testament of faith to Allah (swt) is now beginning to sprout within you. In order to ensure its' growth, there are a few things you should do.

    The first is seek knowledge by finding an Islamic book that appeals to you. Because you are interested in marriage and becoming a blossoming woman, select a book that covers your rights as a Muslim woman, for instance. Perhaps an Islamic book about spouse selection, as well. This way, you can understand the manifestation of what becoming a woman and wife would bestow on you, as you mature and seek your life.

    Select a Surah from the Qur'an such as the great Surah Yaseen. My personal favorite is Surah Al-Waqia for its' description of Heaven and the types of people on the Day of Judgement. This should give you a lot of ideas to consider, as you reflect on your place in the Universe created by the Ultimate Creator.

    Learn to fall in love with your salaah. I gave some advice about that in this topic here:

    And lastly, join a good Islam based youth group. You'll find good sisters like yourself who are experiencing similar things in life. With a good mix of volunteering, this will help you bolster your humility and self esteem.

    I am sure you will receive much advice from the other posters, Insha'allah. I pray that you begin your journey with sincerity and I hope that Allah (swt) graces each one of your steps towards Him.

    • Sr/ Br? Professor X,

      You write wise words MashaAllah.
      Just wanted to let you know your contribution on the site is really appreciated. I find your comments really intelligent and interesting to read. JazakAllah khair

      Sara Editor

      • Walaikum salaam,

        It's brother, actually. And thank you, though any good of me is from Him, The Most Merciful.

        I found this website because I was searching for an answer, myself. By helping others, maybe I can find what I was looking for, Insha'allah.

        • MashAllah!

          Brother Professor X, you can always post under a different name and maybe someone will know the answer to your question. I hope you do because if I know the answer, I want to help and earn good rewards, InshAllah.

          Good Luck and thank you for the contributions.


  2. As salamu alaykum, sister Nazmin,

    You have already received an excellent advice from Professor X. I would like to add the following.
    This was shared with us by our brother Stranger that was answering a post on duas, insha´Allah will help you to learn and understand the ethiquette and all the stages of dua.

    """If you really want to learn more about the dua and complete your spiritual quest, then I would encourage you to listen to the audio of book of Sheikh Yasir Qadhi, titled, "Dua, the weapon of the believer". I have not come across any other book in English that is more comprehensive about the subject of dua other than this book.

    Audio Book:

    PDF Copy: """"

    And about relationships before marriage, there is an interesting post on three series that will guide you, insha´Allah.

    And about reading about Islam in general, there are many interesting series that will teach you and inspire you a lot in Suhaib´s web, and you can find excellent articles source of inspiration on IslamicSunrays too. There is much more, but those I know quite close, has been a source of inspiration for me many times, Alhamdulillah.

    Sister, just one thing more, you are a very young woman and you are begining to search about your deen, there is so much to learn and experience, please be patience, youth will give you the energy to acquire a lot of knowledge and to experience it; time, experience and Allah´s(swt) will transmute it into wisdom, insha´Allah, there is something you should have present in your life, not all that we want to is good for us, and not all that we don´t want is bad for us, Allah(swt) is the only One that knows the best for us, when we surrender to this, our Heart finds Peace and we open ourselves to His Guidance, Alhamdulillah.

    May Allah(swt) guide and protect you every step you take towards Him(swt), and shows you the path to acceptance to the best for yourself. Ameen.

    All my unconditional Love,

    María Editor

  3. Masha'Allah very nice poster Professor X.

    As for my dear little sister i have a nice link for you.

    May Allah bless you all and guide you insha'Allah

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