Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Going back to India with my husband

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I am a 23 year old Canadian Indian currently undergoing my masters degree and married  🙂 I posted on here before on whether I should marry someone and ended up rejecting that family, but married another older guy who is 29.

Right now I live in Canada with my husband and his 3 sisters but recently, his father in India died and requested my husband to come home and take over the family business... I have only a year left in my studies but my husband is adamant we leave this summer... what should I do?

He treats me well and I don't want to upset him, but does this mean its okay to wasting my studies? Also I am not sure how long we're planning to stay there and he wouldn't let me stay with his sisters either...

Help me, I'm really confused.



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8 Responses »

  1. Hadith says 2 migrations ?

  2. Ma sha Allah ta barakullah feek on your marriage, sister.

    Let's see,

    If he was asked to take over the family business, then it's likely he will stay for a while. He won't let you stay behind for 10 more months to finish? Is there an option where you can complete a portion of your studies online? Maybe you can spread your studies out or transfer to university abroad? Is it possible to go back and forth between Canada and India?

    Talk with your husband, you've already spent money on this degree and to quit now would be a waste. Maybe ask him if he stays longer than a certain time then could you go back to finish up your degree. Also, talk to your advisor or mentor to see what options you have.

    Hope that helped. In sha Allah khair, sister. Don't forget to make a lot of dua and wake for night prayers can speed up some blessing in your life. Men don't respond well to combativeness, so you know, work your lady charms to soften your husband. Haha. I'm so serious though.

  3. Finish your studies sister. Do not quit your studies, you only have one year left!!! It would be a total waste of time and money! And the worst thing is you won't even get your degree! ! Your husband sounds like a selfish man,he should be supportive and understanding!!! Education is extremely important, especially for women. You might want to work in the future and it will help you a lot insha Allah.
    One year is not long so finish your studies first. My husband waited 3 years for me to finish uni. So one year will past very quickly. If I was in your shoes I would not give up my studies under any circumstances, if my husband wasn't supportive I would rethink about the marriage. If you give up your studies , you will regret in the future, that's for sure.

    • He waited three years away from you? Or to marry you? I don't understand.

      The OP's father in law died, the circumstances are a little different. She has some time to convince him or come up with a solution. If he doesn't change his mind, then what do u advise? She divorce him? If studying is all that important to her, then she'll find a way.

      She is educated with a degree and still young. She'll find work just fine. The master degree can wait a little while, that's probably what he is thinking.

      • No we got married, he waited 3 years for me to finish uni. I lived in Germany and he in the UK.

        How does her father in laws death affect her situation? It's her husbands dad and he can go back to India whilst she finishes her studies, nothing wrong with that. It's only one year anyway!

        "If he doesn't change his mind, then what do you advice? She divorce him?" Well it's not always about him. What if it was the other way around? Would he quit his studies?I doubt he would! Marriage is about compromise, she has only one year left, it would be a waste of time! He sounds like a selfish person to except from her to leave her studies when she has only one year left. If he truly cared about her, he would want her to finish her studies first!!! I don't advice no one to divorce, it's not my choice but I know if I was in her shoes I definitely would not quit my studies and I wouldn't want to be with an unsupportive husband in the first place. If she choses to stay and finish her studies would he divorce her??? If he asks her to give up her studies I wonder how it's going to be in the future?

        • You don't know enough to make suggestions about his character. She said he's good to her.

          And it should affect her because it affects her husband. This is probably a hard time for him, and he most likely wants his wife next to him. It's not easy for everyone to separate for long periods. It doesn't make him unsupportive.

          Maybe she should find out why he doesn't want her to stay behind.

          It's not like she can never go back to complete her master's degree. Depending on her school's policy, she has some years to complete it. If it really is important to her then she'll go back no matter how long she has to wait. I understand her position. She wants to get that master's while she's young. But she doesn't have to.

          Compromise isn't a one way street. They both should compromise.

          • Of course he is being unsupportive and selfish. She has only one year left, it would be a total waste of time and money. would he do the same if it was about his study? I doubt so!
            If he truly cared about her, he would support her instead.
            A lot of people think it's not a big deal , they can continue university later but the reality is, after they make a break the have no motivation to start again or they become pregnant and have to take care of a baby and don't have time to study. Since she only has one year left, she should just finish her studies. Im just telling what I would do if I was in her shoes.
            I just asked my husband about his opinion. Even he is saying her husband should be supportive . If after talking to him, he still wants her to move to India, she should definitely get her parents involved, elderly from both sides to discuss. He is saying if he had a daughter he wouldn't want her to divorce but he definitely would want her to finish her studies first so they have to find a common ground.

  4. Sister, its the right of your husband that you live with him, if work takes him to India, and you would not be harmed by making this move and living there, its absolutely your responsibility to go with your husband, as he has requested,

    I understand that you might feel upset at the time your have spent studying so far, but alhamdulliah you have a good husband who is providing for you, you already have a degree, a masters is not a necessary thing, obeying your husband is, if you give this up ( your studies) for the sake of Allah to obey your husband, Allah will bless you my sister, and give you something better then a Masters,
    it is really not worth it cause friction in an otherwise good marriage, for the sake of a masters degree, although it is understandable that you feel disappointed, If you speak to your husband, and tell him, i'm disappointed, that i cannot finish my studies, but i love you, and I fear Allah, and will go with you, this will only cause your husbands love to increase for you, and perhaps later in life, you will be able to remind him of your sacrifice in alternate situations, where you may want him to sacrifice something for you.

    Take care sister

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