How should I respond to my boyfriend who is telling me he cannot have a love marriage?
I am in love relationship with one of my good friends. He is now out of country for his Masters. He has a access to all my accounts (hotmail or FB) but he never gave his passwords to me. Few months back, one of my friend messaged me on my Facebook inbox and asked for my number. I saw the mesg and I deleted it just to avoid irrelevant explanation to my Bf. But one day he saw the message on archive and got angry on me and said that all the relationship is end over here according to him I cheated him and betrayed him but I didn't.
I called him every day but he refused to talk to me he also deleted me from every single account then he called me after a month when his step father passed away, he said sorry to me but in the meanwhile many of my friends said that he will never good for you in future he will not care for you and bla bla. I was so depressed, and during this depression one of my friends tried a lot to take me out of this trauma and we were spending so much time with each other just to make a change in my life. He showed so much care and then one day he said he is in love with me and I was feeling some thing wrong too but said nothing to him as I was still waiting for my boyfriend. I said to my friend that I didn't want to start any relationship with him as I am waiting for my boyfriend but he said he don't care for you why you are waiting for him and not leaving him as he left you and moving on? Then I realized that yes he is right.
Then I started my relationship with my friend and we were so happy but my boyfriend called me when his father passed away I was feeling so bad and wanted to tell him that he is no more in my life but I could say anything because he was so upset and also that was not the time to discuss these things but I cleared all the misunderstanding which was happened between us and everything got settled I still didnt said anything regarding my new relationship to him. He thinks that I am with him, just to check his love I asked him about his FaceBook password and he again started abusing me and shut the phone. We are now not talking with each other. I'm now in a relationship with my friend so I deleted my ex boyfriend from my facebook plus his family members and our mutual friends . As time passes me and my current boyfriend are really attached to each other and he knows each and everything about my past , but now he starts saying that his family will not get agree for him to have a love marriage and that we just have to avoid that bad time which will happen in the future we should have to break up.
I am confused. What should I do?
2 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Salaams,
You should not be in a relationship with either of these guys. Islamically, there is no place for friendships with males or having boyfriends. Clearly, the reason you have found yourself in a mess is because you overstepped the Islamic boundaries by getting involved in a way that should have never have happened.
If I were you, I would cut all ties with the first guy, your "boyfriend". From what you've described he clearly does not care about you and is only interested in controlling you. Stay away from any person who wants access to your online accounts or requests your passwords! Since he has already gained access to your accounts, I suggest you close all of them and open new accounts and keep the passwords to yourself. This guy seems manipulative and immature and in no way seems capable at this time of being a potential husband to you.
As for the second guy, again you should cut ties. The first reason being, unless you and he and your respective families are planning a marriage for the both of you, there is no place for any type of relationship. Additionally, you stated that his family will not support him in any marriage with you or someone other than they approve. If you continue to have any type of relationship with him, you are essentially asking him to go against his parents wishes. Is that the type of girl you want to be? Instead, be a woman of taqwa and maintain a respectful distance from him, and if he is able (on his own) to get his parents to consider approving a marriage with you, he THEN can approach you and your family in an Islamic way. Until then, cut guys out of your life and make it a focus to return to your deen.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place you should do your best to move on find another single Muslim man and married! simple!