Looking to find memoirs of Islamic conversion (especially Western) to learn and understand Islam
Greetings!
Google tells me that the proper greeting to say here is "Assalamu Alaykum"! I consider myself a patriotic American, as well as someone who aspires to respect and appreciate all of the differences - cultural, religious, etc. - to be found not only across my country, but around the world.
It is with the usual sadness that I anticipate the anniversary of the horrible events of 9/11 next month, but it is also with some trepidation that once again, some in my country (and around the world) will unjustly blame those terrorist attacks with blanket prejudice against the entirety of Islam, and confuse Islam the religion with the political history and current events of the Middle East.
While I am glad that both then-President Bush as well as current President Obama have always been quick to denounce such wrong thinking; I also feel that it is the responsibility of each and every open-minded, rational-thinking, compassionate American - of EVERY religion and ethnic background - to take up some of the responsibility for combating such misunderstandings wherever we find them.
Education is a great lamp against ignorance. And so, while I have on more than one occasion foisted myself in a conversation about Islam I could tell was going in a bad direction ("Did you know that MOST Muslims in the world aren't even Arab?" "Did you know that there are Christian Arabs?" "Did you know that Islam espouses peace?"). I feel that I could go further in my understanding of contemporary Islam; in fact, as a member of this "melting pot" country of which Islam is a proud and integral part, I feel that I *should* go further in my understanding. ]
It's hard to adequately explain, but I think I feel like it's my way of paying tribute to all of those who lost their lives - including, my fellow Americans would do well to remember - many Muslim Americans. I doubt that any of them would have wanted their deaths to lead to more division and hatred in the world, and so in their memory. I would like to become someone more well-informed and given to greater compassion and understanding toward those of a different background than me. With that motivation, I stumbled across this incredible community.
I've lurked here for a couple of weeks, and I have been impressed not only by the sense of compassion displayed in the advice offered, but also that you all (editors as well as non-editors alike) seem both well-grounded in Islamic doctrine but also quite aware of "modern" issues. Many of you also seem to be living in Western countries.
Therefore! I would most value your guidance toward some reading material. I was an anthropology of religion minor in college, so I have a good bit of "textbook" knowledge of Islam but, I am now looking to read some personal stories. I am most interested in memoirs of Western-raised Muslims, particularly those who have converted. (By the way, is there a difference between "revert" and "convert"? I've seen both terms used and am unsure of their definitions.) A search in Amazon using the terms "Islam convert memoir" unfortunately gives me mostly autobiographies of former Muslims who have converted to Christianity (obviously NOT what I was looking for, ugh!), or stories that highlight the political situation in the Middle East. (Now, certainly issues in the Middle East are among the most defining current events of our times, and I try to stay apprised of the news, BUT I am more looking for stories of the heart right now.)
I would also like to hear about Islam in the societies that don't make the headlines for political unrest. I am quite fascinated by India, Malaysia, Morocco and Indonesia, for example, and hope to travel to them all someday -- all countries with huge Islamic populations that have little at all to do with the Arab world and thus are kind of off the "radar" of the average Westerner when thinking about Islam.
But most of all, I am curious to read about the everyday activities, thoughts, and feelings of people similar to mine (a middle-aged American ethnically-"mongrel" suburban woman), who practice Islam, and how it affects their lives. Amazon did come up with the following titles that look promising: - The Butterfly Mosque, A Young American Woman's Journey to Love and Islam, The Muslim Next Door, The Quran; the Media and That Veil Thing - Islam Our Choice: Portraits of Modern American Muslim Women. My only concern was that they're all by women; anything from the guys' point of view? 🙂
Another title that seems like it might be worth exploring was The Lies About Muhammad: How You Were Deceived Into Islamophobia, as it appears to address this concern I have, that among the less - shall we say - educated of the American population, misconceptions about Islam and what it stands for have been allowed to percolate and grow unchecked. However, since I know nothing of these books or authors, and in my brief time lurking here I have come to trust your opinions.
I would very much like to know what you all think of these titles, and if you have additional suggestions for me to read? And finally, I thank you all for the compassionate, selfless service you do here to guide people - often young - who are lost and suffering. It is inspiring and heartening to see. May peace be upon all the peoples of this earth!
Sam-I-Am.
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Hello Sam-I-Am (I'll just call you Sam, if that's alright). I don't have time to write a detailed response at the moment, as it would require some research on my part. But I wanted to write a quick reply to say, what a remarkably thoughtful, charming and generous post you have written here.
If only all Americans and Muslims thought as you do, and had the same deep respect for people of other cultures and faiths, we would all be better off.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you, Wael for your kind words, but as I have said in my other replies here, I know that I am not all that unique among my American compatriots. Tragically, the media in this country give all the attention to the minority of people who are always negative and combative, while the majority of us reasonable people kind of fade into the background. I have seen attitudes go downhill in the 10 years since 9/11, and that was my motivation to expand my own understanding and no longer sit by and let misinformation get spread in my presence.
At any time that you might come across some reading (or websites, or movies) that might fit my criteria or that you think would be illuminating, I would love to know of it. No rush; this is not a short-term project for me but something I will be working on for many years to come, and I'm "subscribed" to this thread so... whenever!
Hey Sam,
You can travel to India anytime Insha Allah and we can discuss more.
As far as a person's first encounter with Islam is concerned, you should take up the Book of Allah, God of mankind, the Qur'an. It was revealed to the Prophet's heart by inspiration and once you read, Insha Allah, you see the truth of the Book.
Sam, until some time back I used to think America was a biased nation, but with passing time I see and hear of the amount of religious freedom Muslims enjoy in America. The number of conventions, conferences they have and the amount of institutions for charity etc are allowed is amazing, I doubt even in a democratic country like India such wide scale pratice would be allowed.
So somehow I have developed respect for America and Americans due to their allowing freedom to practice religion by choice.
My only advice is all other books on Islam other than the Qur'an are bound to cause arguments and disputes, so the best Book and only Book for guidance should be the Qur'an. People who call themselves Muslims are suffering because of deserting the Qur'an and clinging on to later books.
People are being led to misunderstand Islam and the Qur'an by mistranslations of the Qur'an and gross misinterpretations of the Book.
For example, in Islam, there is killing of nafs or self, one's own and that of others. But this killing is not murder. It is pyschological killing.
For example a person in his negative behavior tends to earn a lot and save more and not spend in charity, grow violent, disobey God, obey Shaytaan or take evil path, doing harm and destruction of others and ultimately moving towards hell. So he kills his "nafs" his pyschology in the wrong way by such negative behavior, without right.
The person who gives charity, is peaceful, does not harm others, tries to remain calm under stress, such a person kills" his negative psychology" and thus becomes alive in true sense, wheras the other person who is alive yet is like a "dead person" because of his actions that are fruitless and lead him to condemnation.
So there are people who kill their negative pyschology and also that of others.
People who did translations of the Qur'an thought this killing is physical and lead many astray and many people are still being led astray.
For example, the Qur'an states:
169. Think not of those, who are slain in the way of Allah, as dead. Nay, they are living. With their Lord they have provision.
170. Jubilant (are they) because of that which Allah hath bestowed upon them of His bounty, rejoicing for the sake of those who have not joined them but are left behind: that there shall no fear come upon them neither shall they grieve. - Surah 3, Al Imraan.
Some translators and exegists have shown as if after getting killed people become birds of Paradise etc and are happy after death and get provision etc.
Where as according to the Qur'an, entry in to Paradise is only after the Judgment on the Day of Ressurrection.
Another ayat of the Qur'an that clearly states this killing mentioned is pyschological is Surah 47, Muhammad:
Common translation:
4. Now when ye meet in battle those who disbelieve, then it is smiting of the necks until, when ye have routed them, then making fast of bonds; and afterward either grace or ransom till the war lay down its burdens. That . And if Allah willed He could have punished them but that He may try some of you by means of others. And those who are slain in the way of Allah, He rendereth not their actions vain.
5. He will guide them and improve their state,
6. And bring them in unto the Garden which He hath made known to them.
Now if we think of this killing as physical, then 1- smiting necks until they are routed , now if this is physical then how to make fast of bonds with dead bodies? and how to show grace or do ransom of dead bodies?
Is it possible?
And then those who are slain/killed in the way of Allah, He will guide them. If they are physically killed or dead, why do they need guidance? Why should Allah guide the dead? Living need guidance not dead.
And further, he will improve their state???
So this is mentioning clearly an intellectual fight by reciting the verses of the Book of Allah to the disbelievers until they bow down their heads to God and if not so then show them grace and leave their way.
The Prophet's companions were all non Muslims before entering Islam, if Islam permitted killing of non Muslims, than none of those companions could have entered Islam.
Hence, along with false propoganda of against Islam, a lot of those people who call themselves Muslims are also responsible due to their lack of efforts in understanding the Book of God and also promoting mistranslations and believing things without giving them a thought.
The Qur'an is for peaceful people, not terrorists who spread corruption in earth. The Qur'an is for those who think, those who ponder, those who reflect, those who remember, those who recollect, those who seek Guidance, those who wish to know the meaning of life and purpose of their existence, it is for those who believe, it is for those who gaurd themselves against God's wrath by obedience to Him, it is for the good, for those who worship none but God, it is for their guidance.
Those who take their desires as God, go about killing innocent people, for them is ignominy in the life of the world and the hereafter.
Most of the world population goes to work, earns, eats, sleeps and lives in peace in general sense - Islam exists everywhere on earth and universe by peace. Except a few miscreants who love to destroy and fail to construct, for such God is enough to punish them.
Moreover, Islam - To Enter in Peace - is the Judgment of God for man. By obeying it, a person enters in to peace in this life and in the hereafter. Where as those who try to seek judgments other than the Judgment of God, such people follow their desires and it will never be accepted from them, Insha Allah.
Sam, you should study the Qur'an by the Qur'an, with Arabic transliteration along with English text and keep on knowing new words, if you are genuinely insterested in Islam with sincerity of knowing the Truth, then God will work out ways to instruct you, on one condition that you Trust only God and His word and shun all human works given to you to be from God or Prophet, from so called Muslims and non Muslims.
To achieve peace, we need to know which actions lead to peace. So Insha Allah, Allah will lead you to this Mighty Book, to which falsehood cannot enter from behind it or from before it.
Salaam,
Munib.
Dear Munib (and also Trueblood),
I am delighted you have learned the "bright side" of American culture that is absolutely FANATICAL about the right to freedom of religion. The politics of the U.S. can be very polarized on many issues, but there are a few things that we all pretty much agree on -- particularly issues of individual liberties when it comes to free speech and freedom of religion.
I was recently talking to some overseas friends of mine about the disturbing trend in various European countries to limit people's expression of their religious faith. The bizarre banning of minarets in Switzerland was bad enough, but to actually prohibit Islamic dress - not only a full garment like the niqab, but even just a headscarf - is ABSOLUTELY MIND-BOGGLING to Americans!! I wonder if Muslims in other countries know that about America? The idea that a country like France - or geeeeez, even Turkey?? - would prohibit a person from wearing hijab is absolutely reprehensible to us, regardless of what end of the political spectrum we fall on. Laws like that would NEVER happen here, not in a million years. Even Americans who might have any sort of negative perception of Islam would still defend a woman's right to wear her headscarf in public places, because to us, that is absolutely foundational (literally, it's in our Constitution) to what defines this country.
So while I hope to spread some knowledge about Muslim-Americans here at home, for anyone in this community who might not have known the above fact, then it's good I have spread a little knowledge both ways! In other words, I don't want you all to think I'm all all that unique or special in my attitudes. I was raised this way by my parents, by my schools, and by my community, to believe that everyone has a right to their own religion and creed in America, and that it is incumbent upon all Americans to defend that principle. Even with all the utter crap that airs on our media (*cough* - Fox News - *cough*), please keep in mind that it's the "squeaky wheel" principle at work: the people who say the most outrageous and controversial things are the ones that get on TV or on the radio. But they don't represent all of us, or even the majority of us.
And also to Munib: THANK YOU for such a wonderful, long, thoughtful post. You have reminded me not to neglect going to "the source" (i.e. the Qur'an) in my personal explorations, because much of what I am concerned about - people thinking Islam is something it's not, or that it is not something that it really is - *can* best be cleared up referring back to the Qur'an itself, and reminding us to read it the way it's MEANT, not what the bad propaganda would have believe it meant. Alas, so many holy writings seem to wind up misinterpreted like that - or worse!
Mom, I'm a muslim is a story about a male converting. I know Michael Muhammad Knight is not someone this sites likes, but his writings show you a version of a Muslim American Punk which is a rarity such an othodox faith. You should also read the Autobiography of Malcom X. I speak for myself is also a book of muslim americans with pictures, but it focuses on woman. Zeitoun is a great book that shows you the diversity of Muslims in America, the post-9/11 gotta hate 'em all fiasco and Katrina, plus a tale of an american muslim woman converting.
If you live in the bay area there is the tarif collective in fremont which is where a lot of diverse converts chill out. A book that gives you a good summery of islam is Islam in America. It has a red cover with a muslim couplr on it. I will post more when I wake up with authors et all. I love reading this stuff, so I'm so happy I have someone to help. 🙂
Thank you for the recommendations, Azul! (I'm not in the Bay Area, I'm on the Beast Coast.) I had forgotten all about "The Autobiography of Malcolm X"; most people think of him as being Nation of Islam, but a quick visit to Wikipedia tells me that he wrote this book *after* converting to orthodox Sunni Islam, so I realize it will likely be very interesting to me, since that is QUITE the personal journey, reverting to Islam after the radical ideology of NOI!
All of your recommendations have wound up on my new Amazon list, ("Mom, I'm A Muslim" in particular is a GREAT title!) and if you come up with more, I would love it! Thanks!
Br Azul
I Googled for the "tarif collective " in Fremont CA, but could find nothing useful. Can you provide a way to find that/contact them. Also, do you know of any such hangouts for reverts on the northeast of the US since I live there and interested in meeting and hearing their stories and perhaps making friends/be a support to some? Thanks!
Sister serendipity,
I know your question was for Br Azul but I just wanted to say that try "Muslima.com". I won't recommend you SingleMuslim.com because they are disappointing to say the least. Their are plenty of revert brothers and sisters; one thing you have to remember though that a lot of born Muslim expect these revert brothers and sisters to be fully practising. Some of them are Masha Allah and some of them are still learning and improving (it also depends for how long they have been Muslims; was their anyone to help them etc etc?) just like born Muslims. So, try to be understandable, otherwise you will freak out a revert brother lol:). Besides, check online for organisations which hold either revert only events or mixed events to cater help the single brothers and sisters. We have a few organisations here in UK, which hold revert only and mixed marriage events (born and revert Muslims).
I hope this has helped you Insha Allah.
May Allah (swt) bless us all with the practising/righteous, caring, loving and respectful spouses who will help us learn more about Islam, implement it in our worldly lives to achieve Jannah (Amin).
Wasalam,
Muhammad1982.
Editor, IslamicAnswers.com
Thanks Br. Mohammed
I tried them both for the past many years and found both very disappointing. I found a great nonmuslim guy who gave me all the respect but I did not know how to introduce Islam to him and made the mistake you mentioned - my wali in the US is an Egyptian uncle and he made me tell this guy that he has to become 5 time praying guy (when even I cannot do that most days beyond 3-4/day) and he freaked out and left me. My father (lives back home) told me I should have been gentler on him and let him go at his won pace as he was willing to do so - so I learnt that lesson the hard way. I tried the sister site of this one Zawaj.com but they have merged it with "arab lounge" and "world singles" so I get all kinds of nonmuslim and weirdos contacting me to "Date" as there are no halal options there - I did let Br. Wael know about it ...otherwise I fear I will die alone and companionless.
Thanks for your caring advice though. appreciate it!
Sister Serendipity,
Sorry to know that you had to go through all that. I guess this is the mistake we often make. I met an elderly revert sister on one of the mixed events in London and she told me all this and said that it's so hard for sisters especially to find a suitable marriage partner since there aren't enough revert brothers. So, they have to marry a born Muslim who in most cases is following culture more than Islam and is controlled by his parents even though he is a grown up married man. These sisters have to either Arabanise or Asianise (dress code, food, culture etc etc) to be accepted. It's so sad to see them suffering like this; I am sure brothers go through similar problems as well. This forum is full of such accounts where sisters were forced to take a 180 degree turn all at once and their husbands and their families weren't supportive, patient and understanding.
Another problem that I observed is that their are men who are actually interested in learning and to accept Islam but they are not welcomed by the Mosques or other Islamic centres to be guided in the right direction (their are not arrangement for them to learn). This is where sisters suffer the most because they can't teach them unless their wali (male cousin, brother or father support/help that gentleman). I personally think; their should be efforts on gross root level; every mosque should hold events whether being weekly or monthly or have centres to cater the needs of these men and Muslim sisters. I have heard of cases where sisters just developed (no haram relationship) for a non-Muslim man and vice versa but eventually had to give up just because their were no venues to help that man. Besides, it's also sad to note that still it is considered bad for a Muslimah to choose her partner (Muslim) in most cases let alone a non-Muslim (helping him to learn, understand and accept Islam).
Don't give up and if you are on facebook then I suggest that use that as a venue to meet potential revert brother. But, be very very careful; you have to have a mahram who supervise your conversations. We are always prone to the traps of Shaitan; no matter how much practising or mature we are? Don't give up sister; what is written for you; that will happen. If you believe that Allah (swt) does what is best for HIS servants then whatever the outcome/end results say Alhamdullilah and be thankful.
I am not siding here with brother Wael but sister, I was on Muslimah and same thing use to happen to me but you know their are all sorts of people on the net. Muslims, non-Muslims, practising, non-practising, liberal, conservative, moderate etc etc. You shouldn't give up; just ignore the bad apples and pray to Allah (swt) in every prayer for the righteous partner; especially pray Thajud and salat-ul-hajat. Their are a lot of sisters who don't cover, pray, recite Holy Quran and not modest (not judging anyone as I am not prefect myself) but they still show interest in me; I don't give up and neither do I hate or dis-like them. I just ignore them and pray that may Allah give them Hidayah and help them to realise their purpose in this world. I am sure you must have seen plenty of people in your life who were into haram activities and never bothered much about their religion but when Allah (swt) guided them; they started practising.
Sorry for the long reply; don't give up. One of my cousin sister is getting married at the age of 43 so don't worry about age; it's just a number.
May Allah (swt) help all the brothers and sister to find the good practising spouses. (Amin)
Wasalam,
Muhammad1982.
Editor, IslamicAnswers.com
Salam
Its good 2 know that there r ppl like u who have a different prespective of islam
i believe that the nonmuslim in westerner countries see islam from an angle shown 2 them from foxnews , cnn, bbc , nbc
But very few research on it
Its good that our communnity on the net is helping u but the best way to learn about islam is from quran n hadidth
"n most efficient way for a non muslim i say is before buying a quran which is in arabic , n mant ppl dont know arabic
What i say is that u download quran with translation(quran) , in mp3 format n listen 2 it n understand it "
I dont know the site but u can google it
But there may be a problem arise that the few versus in the quran , may be translated which might contradict/not be correct , to the actual meaning of that verse in the quran"
In such cases u can take the help of an imam"plz take consultant from imam which know the truth about quran n who doesnt give any fanatical opinion"
This will help u 2 understand quran , n i say that u should educate ur friends n ppl who have misconception/ r eagaer 2 knw abt islam "
Thiis will help the society , n make world a better place 2 co exizts
Go to an islamic bookstore, they usually have a couple of books with revert stories. Oh and you asked about convert/revert. The difference is that convert refers to when you change from one to another whereas revert is changing something back to its original way.
The more correct term is revert because we believe that everyone was born a Muslim and later changed to a Jew/christian/hindu or any other religion by their parents, as has been narrated to us by Muhammad s.a.w so whoever accepts Islam and wasnt brought up as a muslim, we prefer using revert because we believe they have reverted back to what they were originally.
I read a book many years ago, all about sisters who had converted. It had dozens of stories of female reverts..i think it was titled something like why women are accepting Islam?
Also check out 'From my sisters lips' by Naima B Roberts.
If you want a male story, then check this out - http://www.islamfortoday.com/yusufestes.htm
This is the story of a well reknowned man who is now a Scholar of Islam. He used to be a christian missionary. V interesting story.
Peace out
Ah, yes, now I understand about the term revert vs. convert. Makes perfect sense. Thank you, Faith!
I also read the story of Yusuf Estes that you linked, and found that on that site there is a whole section (http://www.islamfortoday.com/converts.htm) that was of interest, as it has additional stories of "converts" (which now I know should really be "reverts"!).
And Amazon does indeed list a book called "Why Women Are Accepting Islam", but it is only carried by other booksellers, not Amazon itself. I will try first through our library system and see if I can get my hands on it.
Thank you again!
Salam
Sorry i know im breaking rules
But plz ppl can u tell me from where i can download sahih bukharih with urdu translation in mp3 format
I always run int reverted women in real life and online stories - my question is: Why do men not revert as much as women do? A lot of women do it bec they get introduced/fall in love with a muslim man and then read and revert. Is it the male ego that refuses them to "look different from the pack they belong to"? The couple of men reverts I know, have not told their near and dear ones, compared to the women, who seem "bolder" than men in sharing their change.
Hi Saloumeto,
Sorry for my late reply. I am glad that you are looking for knowledge to understand Islam and I pray to Allah (swt) to enlighten your heart and keep you on the straight path to help you see the real Islam Insha Allah. I have been actually looking for some stuff to recommend you; though their are books out their consisting of stories of converts mainly from European, US, Candian background but I have found a few websites which might be of your help. These website not only have stories of those converts but also they are source to understand the basics of Islam. So, I hope they will be a source of help for you to gain more and more insight into Islam.
1- http://www.whyislam.org/ (To help you understand basics).
2- http://muslimconverts.com/
3- http://www.turntoislam.com/
Muhammad1982.
Editor, IslamicAnswers.com
Assalamu Alaykum!
(This is the original poster here; I am not sure how my post wound up as being from 'saloumeto', as I have my own login and submitted my letter as Sam-I-Am. And yes, please feel free to call me "sam" - lots of people do as they are my initials! - but just so you know, I am female.)
Thank you so much to everyone for taking the time to answer!
First of all, I wanted to assure the several people who emphasized the importance of "going to the source" - the Qur'an - that indeed I have had the opportunity to read and study the Qur'an in an academic environment under a noted Islamic scholar in university. And while that is obviously the most important book of all for understanding Islam, my hope is to actually go further to understand MUSLIMS themselves, especially those with whom I share the country of my citizenship (the U.S.A.). Does that make sense? However, I absolutely will be referring back to the Qur'an itself during my exploration every time there is something I feel that I need more direct information about, or something I feel a personal call to investigate. I am looking to learn the stories of Western reverts as a way to help bridge the unnecessary misunderstandings that float around popular belief about Muslims in this country. When I hear misinformation - and it's more often just that, misinformation, rather than maliciousness! - I do not want to sit idly and silently by. Yes, in some cases it might be applicable to quote something from the Qur'an, but for people who do not accept it as truth, it is likely going to be better to instead demonstrate to them what they have in common with their Muslim-American neighbors. To me, it seems to be the basis of peaceful co-habitation: what are our similarities? When we see that we really do have them - that we have the same values about wanting to raise our children well and live in a world of peace and harmony not destroyed by pollution, etc. - then I think it becomes easier to accept our differences too.
I already discovered http://www.whyislam.org/ on my own, and even though I did not specifically mention websites, thank you for everyone who included them! I have also made a list of the recommended books and will see what my library has and/or can get. I also should have asked before - how about movies? I have seen a few suggested to me by Netflix - particularly the documentary "Towelhead", and a supposedly based-on-a-true-story romance called "David & Layla". More suggestions would be welcome!
Would it be useful for me to pop back in after reading with some reviews?
And finally, I will also leave individual replies to a few of the posts above.
Thank you so much again to the whole community, and the editors in particular, for giving your time to answer my - and so many others' - questions.
Best regards,
Sam
Salaam.
I think the values you and others like you hold are so inspiring. I hear so many negative, harsh comments towards Muslims from non-Muslims of different (or no faith) and I also hear many negative comments from Muslims about non-Muslims. Its an endless cycle of hate and sometimes as humans we make a mistake and judge the individual. An eye for an eye and we will all be blind!I am so pleased to read this post, as it shows the media hasnt brainwashed everyone entirely! So may God bless you on your journey to seek knowledge and bless us all and help us to spread peace and understanding. Just what Islam is all about.
If you want to study Muslims what about the life of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)? As Muslims we try to emulate his life, as I am sure you know. The sealed nectar is a good book on this - its detailed enough without being excessive.
Also if you have done this you may want to consider looking at the lives of the Prophets before from the Qur'an. There are of course similarities between what the Christians and Jews say about these Prophets and what the Muslims say, but fundamental differences. Be aware those (as I am sure you already know) many Muslims of today do not practice Islam as we should.
I hope this has been some help to you sis Sam
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
x
Lol. My post doesn't have much referance to yours. Just a brainwave. Perhaps 'saloumeto' is the google translation of what Sam-I-am should be here. Loved your post! If only everyone could be that open-minded!
Salam
I have download quran translation in mp3 format in my native language so that I can learn/understand quran better
I know reading quran is better than listening but at that I be only reading it and not able to understand
Another important issue is that while listening quran in mp3 should have to do wadhu and can I listen to quran while lying down( how v listen to other things) or should I sit and properly listen to it
Salaam, helpful ones,
I wanted to report back on one of my first cultural "excursions"! Because I am disabled and homebound, I "place orders" for library books that I want and the nice library people who serve the disabled community deliver them. But while I am waiting, I watched a movie on Netflix called "David & Layla". Is anyone here familiar with the movie? Made by first-time director Jalal Jonroy (who is Kurdish), it is about a Kurdish Muslimah living in New York City with her uncle and his family (her immediate family and fiance were killed years ago, as was explained in the political backstory of the Kurdish struggle), who is romantically pursued and eventually returns the affections of an American Jewish television producer named David. The story, while on the surface a comedy, is also the tale of David's personal journey of trying to reconcile his Jewish heritage with converting to Islam and marrying Layla. It is based on a true story, and since both the real "Layla" and David were advisors to the director, one assumes that at least basic details of the story are accurate. Of particular interest was the heartwarming tale of the two families' initial resistance, through their grudging acceptance, and by the time of the wedding, a true mutual respect (David's dad and Layla's uncle bonded over a share hatred of Sadaam Hussein!). If at least that much of the tale is true, then it gives me hope for our world!
However, there are some questions/issues that the film brought up for me that seem to show some contradictions regarding what I have learned (much from this web site!) is generally considered "appropriate" behavior, regarding specifically courtship and dress, from an Islamic viewpoint. Specifically:
1. I know there is great variation in the wearing of hajib amongst American Muslims, and in some countries it is not worn at all (or a headscarf only is worn, and even then it seems more of a fashion or identity statement rather than a measure of modesty). In the movie, Layla wore a headscarf (although it did not cover her hair particularly, let alone her neck or chest), but she was also wearing a tank top and a very thin skirt in most scenes! In the making-of featurette, the real "Layla" (I put it in quotes because her actual name was not Layla) was not wearing a headscarf, but was wearing a tank top - obviously not wearing hajib at all - so I'm wondering if the filmmakers just dressed the movie Layla the way the real Layla dressed, but added a headscarf so that Western viewers, otherwise not knowing any better, would be able to identify something "Islamic" in her appearance. However, Layla was adamant that David must convert or she would not consider marrying him - and not just because of her family - so it was obvious her faith was important to her. So my question is this: is not wearing hajib generally considered a tolerated "cultural variation"? Do you think that it has more to do with her living in the US, or the fact that she is Kurdish?
2. In a similar vein, Layla and the members of her family also drank wine! I also found this surprising given my understanding of the Qur'an's prohibition on intoxicants. Or, like hajib, would this something one would consider a cultural variation, too? Layla also smoked the occasional cigarette.
3. Layla's job (which she hid from her family; she told them she was in nursing school) was dancing in a Middle Eastern restaurant. She was not the belly dancer (although they had one of those too), but did a much less 'provacative' style of dance with loose-fitting, flowing clothing (with long sleeves and skirt). This sort of brought up the whole question of belly dancing for me, too. I actually love watching it and there is a fabulous and famous Moroccan restaurant in Washington, DC that we go to often to enjoy the whole amazing experience (beautiful decorations, traditional courses served the traditional ways), but since I have been learning more about the culture manifestations of Islam, I am wondering how did belly dancing become a popular art form in parts of the Middle East when it seems so obviously haraam?
4. Also, David and Layla did have "dates" alone; although there was definitely no pre-marital sex there was hand-holding and some kissing. (LOL, I feel like I've made Layla out to be a total hussy, but by American standards, she was incredibly chaste and modest!) This site has made it clear to me what scripture says on this point, but again, I am curious if entire sub-cultures within the Islamic world find adhering to it impractical or "quaint", but still consider themselves observant Muslims.
Other religions that I am familiar with have varying degrees of acceptance of others' practices within the same religion without labeling them heretics or apostates. For instance, my aunt, who is a born-again Christian in the Baptist denomination, is a Biblical literalist - that is, she believes in the literal word of the Bible and therefore does not believe in, for instance, evolution, or gay marriage. However, she still sees those in liberal Protestant denominations, such as Anglicans/Episcopalians and Lutherans, who believe in evolution and gay marriage, as being valid Christians and, as long as they accept Jesus as their savior, they will go to heaven. (HOWEVER! Until relatively recently, Catholics openly preached that non-Catholics - even Christian non-Catholics - would be going to hell in the afterlife!) For an example from an Eastern religion, some Buddhists are vegetarians and some are not, and neither group would label the other as "less Buddhist" or as doing anything particularly "wrong". In fact, I know some Buddhists who don't even believe in reincarnation, which is not generally considered much of a problem by their more conservative/traditional teachers.
So I guess the root of my question comes down to wondering how much internal tolerance in "interpretation" exists within Islam, because obviously, as with any large, worldwide religion, there are different cultural influences that have given rise to differing opinions on matters of religious theory and practice (or in the case of Islam, the interpretation and application of Sharia law). Beyond the Articles of Faith and the Five Pillars as (I assume) basic areas of fundamentally required agreement, how do Muslims view other Muslims who have differing ideas of what "modest dress" must entail, or "mixing of the sexes" or other issues with clear practical variation across the Islamic world? Misguided? Apostate? Or are the opinions on the behaviors as varied as the behavior itself?
I understand that I'm probably asking complicated questions, but please don't feel the need to try to answer on behalf of all of Islam, with Qur'anic and scholarly references galore 🙂 I am interested in your personal experiences and opinions as Muslims living in today's modern world, and as I understand your area of speciality is domestic/family life, please feel free to speak particularly or only to that realm.
Sincerely,
Sam
P.S. A last word on "David & Layla": while I enjoyed the movie and would recommend it, I should add the warning that it is rated R for sex scenes (not particular explicit, but still) between David and his girlfriend (before Layla), and some raunchy sex humor (David's TV show is about the link between sex and food!). I would not want someone to watch it and be offended because they didn't have fair warning. But its message is fundamentally very wholesome, and it treats cross-cultural differences with a loving and humorous hand, so I think it might be worth checking out. There is one scene where David's dad and Layla's imam nearly bump into each other on a walking path, and David's dad says, "Shalom!" and the imam says "Salaam!" and then they sort of try to get out of each other's way but it's silly-awkward. And the wedding scene is definitely a moment to get out the tissues! 🙂
LOL, that was a "TL;DR", wasn't it? 🙂