Love in Islam
Love and Islam
Brother!
i have an important question here..
Question is not that Islam accepts love marriage or not...
Question is...does Islam allow us to love anyone? A boy to girl, or a girl to boy?
Can a girl or boy find someone for there self to fall in love & then to marry...
Does Islam allow to LOVE.......??
thanks
~ Mohsin Sheikh
9 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Brother Mohsin, Assalamu'alaikum,
Specifically, liking someone and proposing to that girl through her father is not wrong. What is wrong is that one has relationships before getting married. They behave just as if they were married, while they are still non Mahram to each other.
In general, love is something good. Allah Also Loves His Believing servants. We Muslims are advised to love one another. There is this beautiful article you should read, titled: The Concept of Love in Islam. This perfectly answers your question. It was taken from islamweb.com
No religion urges its followers to adopt mutual love, affection and intimacy like the religion of Islam. This should be the case at all times, not just on specific days. Islam encourages showing affection and love towards each other all the time. In a Hadeeth (narration), the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), said: "When a man loves his brother, he should tell him that he loves him." [Abu Daawood and At-Tirmithi]
In another Hadeeth, he said: "By Him in Whose Hand my soul is, you will not enter Paradise unless you believe, and you will not believe unlessyou love each other.Should I direct you to something that if you constantly did it, you wouldlove each other? Spread the greetings of peace among you." [Muslim]
Moreover, the Muslim's affection includes inanimate beings. Talking about the Mountain of Uhud, the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "This is Uhud, a mountain which loves us and we love it." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
Love in Islam is all-encompassing, comprehensive and sublime, rather than being restricted to one form only, which is love between a man and a woman. Rather, there are more comprehensive, wider and sublime meanings. There is love for Allaah The Almighty, the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), the Companions may Allaah be pleased with them and the love of good and righteous people. There is love of the religion of Islam, upholding it and making it victorious and the love of martyrdom for the sake of Allaah The Almighty as well as other forms of love. Consequently, it is wrong and dangerous to restrict the broad meaning of love to this type of love only.
A successful marital and family life is based on love and compassion:
Perhaps some people are influenced by what is relentlessly propagated by the media, movies and TV serials, day and night, thinking that a marriage will not be successful unless it is based on a pre-marital relationship between the young couple to achieve perfect harmony between them and secure a successful marital life.
Not only this, many people are also influenced by the call to intermixing between the two sexes, lewdness as well as many other moral deviations. This leads to great corruption and grave crimes as well as the violation of sanctities and honor. I will not refute this allegation from this point of view, but through real studies and figures.
In a study carried out by Cairo University (a university of neutral orientation; which is not an Islamic authority to be subject to doubt of being biased) about what it called “love marriage” and “traditional marriage”, the following was concluded:
According to the study, 88 percent of marriages which take place after a love affair end with failure, i.e., with a success rate of not more than 12 percent. As for what it called “the traditional marriage”, according to the study, 70 percent are successful.
In other words, the number of successful marriages in the so-called traditional marriage is six times more than love marriages. [Risaalah Ila Mu’minah]
This study is confirmed by another similar one carried out by Syracuse University in the U.S. The study indicates beyond doubt that love or passion is not a guarantee for a successful marriage; rather, it often leads to failure. The alarming rates of divorce assert these facts.
Commenting on this phenomenon, Professor Saul Gordon, a lecturer at the aforementioned University said, "When you are in love; to you the whole world revolves around this person whom you love. Marriage then comes to prove the opposite and destroy all your perceptions. This is because you discover that there are other worlds that you have to be aware of. It is not the world of humans, but the world of concepts, values and habits which you paid no attention to before." [Ibid]
Frederick Koenig, a professor of social psychology at Tulane University, says, "Romantic love is very strong and emotional, but does not last, while real love is linked to the land and life and can withstand trials." He adds, "It is impossible that one adapts the powerful emotions in romantic love. This love seems like a cake, a person enjoys eating it [while it lasts], then it is followed by the period of downfall. While real love means sharing the concerns of daily life and cooperation for it to continue. Within the framework of this cooperation, one can achieve his human need." [Al-Qabas Newspaper: Quoted from Risaalah Ila Hawwaa’]
The love which the writer talks about and calls “real life” was expressed in the Quran as affection. Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {And of His Signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.} [Quran 30: 21]
The relationship between spouses is based on affection and mercy, not on ardent love, desire and passion. It is a relationship which is based on quiet love (affection) and mutual mercy, not illusions of love which fail to withstand reality or romantic fantasies which fail to create a successful marriage.
How knowledgeable was ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab may Allaah be pleased with him when he addressed women and said, "If one of you does not love her husband, she should not tell him about this, because only a few homes are based on love; rather, people live together by virtue of good morals and Islam."
Nevertheless, this does not mean that we call to neglect emotions between spouses or bury feelings and sentiments between them.
The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), gave us the best example of loving his wives. It was narrated in the pure Sunnah (tradition) that the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), was careful to put his mouth on the same place from which his wife ‘Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her drank. During his final illness, he used her Siwaak (tooth stick) and died while he was reclined against her chest, between her neck and bosom. What kind of love is nobler and more sublime than this?
End Quote...
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM
DEAR THE WORD LOVE IS AFTER NIKAH IN ISLAM NOT B4- LEAVE ALONE THE WORD CORRESPONDENCE IS ALSO NOT ALLOWED- PL READ-
Correspondence between the sexes is not permissible, because that provokes temptation and usually results in evil. If a man corresponds with a non-mahram woman in letters that are not seen by anyone else, that leads to many evils.
As for the love that stems from repeated looking, haraam mixing or correspondence, the one who does that is sinning to the extent that he does haraam things in his relationship and love.
Islam forbids a woman to be alone with a man who is not her mahram because of the fitnah (temptation) and bad things that result from that, such as attachment and the desire to look and touch, etc.
All of this results from the man talking to the woman in these private letters or conversations, especially if they are young and at an age when desire is strong.
Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and young women, if this correspondence is free from immorality, love and desire?
He replied: It is not permissible for any person to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the temptation involved in that. The person may think that there is no temptation, but the shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him through her, and tempts her through him.
ALL SUBJECTS IN THIS WEBSITE- http://muttaqun.com/home.html
There is nothing wrong with feeling attraction toward someone, or "liking" them, or having feelings of affection. However, our behavior should not exceed the limitations of Islamic behavior. So no matter how you "feel" about someone, you should not meet them privately, discuss inappropriate things, have physical contact, etc. Leave these things until after marriage.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASAK,
I would like to throw in the concept of Islamic Dating. I was always under a quandary keeping in view Surah Noor, Chapter 24, Verse 30, " Ask the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty".
I took this verse a tad too seriously, I just adhered to one only.
I did a bit of research. I found out that when one of the followers went to prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) to inquire whether he could speak to a girl before marriage. Then, Prophet answered in affirmative keeping in view that one of the relatives like a sibling or relative of the girl is along with you. Yes, you could call it a date.
This third person could be your little brother or her sister of any age. The third person will just act as a deterrent from Satan. Thus, you could love in Islam and you can date following the above mentioned guidelines.
Cheers
Farrukh
*I adhered to one glance only
Wa Alaikum as Salam,
Brother Farrukh,
Call it a date or whatever, it is something allowed, with limits, as you mentioned 🙂 . But you were wrong about it being a brother or a "sister". She should have a male Mahram with her, otherwise it would be that two non Mahram women are with a man.
The purpose of having a Mahram is that shaitaan stays at bay and there is no fitnah, which is obvious. But if there are two women, the fitnah is still there. If it is a male Mahram, there would be very less chances of fitan.
The Hadith in this regard is:
Ibn Abbas said: The Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "No one of you should meet a woman in privacy unless she is accompanied by a Mahram (i.e., a relative within the prohibited degrees)." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
a man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “Oh Prophet of Allah! I am the guardian of an orphan girl. Two men proposed to marry her. One is rich, the other is poor. We like the rich while she likes the poor.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) answered, “For those in love we don't see any better than marriage” (Reported by Ibn Majah).
Salaams,
What an awesome hadith! I am going to file that one, for sure.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam brother,
I dont know if your muslim but I think all muslims know that islam is the best religion that preaches love.
Bu if your looking for a way to indulge in haram activities it stops it at the beginning that islam.
Salam