Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I marry without my parents’ consent?

in love

Assalamu'alayjkum.

I am an 18 year old revert of 3 years and I have met a brother that I would like to marry in sha Allah. He has asked them about marriage and they have refused, telling me to complete my university degree, begin a career and then they will consider it.

I love this brother with all my heart and I know it is haram to be in such a relationship with him. I do not want to wait 4 or 5 years to get married.

My mother is an Ismaili and my father does not have a religion. My grandmother is also an Ismaili. Aside from my grandmother, my family are not religious.

I have been told by others that I do not have a valid wali in my family. Is this the case? And if so, will I be able to marry without the consent of my parents for the sake of Allah? I know it is important to honor parents in Islam, so will I be committing a sin to go against their wishes?

- shadiya234


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9 Responses »

  1. Wa Alaykum Salam Sister. You need a Wali (Guardian). Your father cannot be your Wali due to his religious belief. The closest to be the Wali after your father is your grandfather, great grandfather and then uncle, brother etc.

    If you cant find a suitable Wali, you will need to get a respected Imam to become your Wali. This way you can get married, no problem. You should to speak to your local masjid. They will help you inshaAllah. May Allah give you strength and ease your path.

  2. Shadiya234, Walaykumsalaam,

    I am assuming you have reverted to Islam and you follow the Quran and Sunnah? Maasha'Allah, may Allah make this journey easy for you.

    You do need a Wali in order to get married, but he has to be Muslim. So if none of the males in your family are Muslim, then you should approach an Imam or a trusted community leader who is Muslim to be your Wali.

    You are right, it is very important to honour your parents, but when their wishes contradict with Islam, you must not obey them. You need and want to marry a good Muslim man and this takes precedence: The Prophet (sws) said, 'There is no obedience to a created being if it involves disobedience of the Creator,' (reported by Ahmad, 1041; a saheeh hadeeth)

    So find a trusted Imam to be your Wali and at the same time kindly and gently explain to your parents that since you have reverted to Islam, your Deen is your priority.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Assalam O Alaikum my dear brothers and sisters,my question is that my sister wants to marry someone but we all dont like him,cause he always use to lie for us,which we know he might betray her if they got marries,what can we do to convice her to leave him? Please help me

    • Salaams sister Khadija,

      Please log in and submit any questions you have as a separate post. It will be helpful if you include as much detail as you can, as the info given above doesn't really give a full picture so that the best advice can be given.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Yes, you can as long as you're 18 or above.

    • What are you basing this opinion on, brother Masrur?

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Maybe we should re-name this website 'UK answers.com'.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I have read it somewhere that u can marry with out the permission of your parents but after the nikaah u can not keep it a secret and u must tell people. I will research again where I have seen this and post it.

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