My Muslim boyfriends parents broke us up because we had sex what should I do to make this right?
We had been going out for awhile and really loved and trusted each other so we had sex. The next day he fell asleep and his sister went through mine and his messages, she was sending me messages from his phone asking me all about me and him etc. She then told their parents and they told him he can not see or speak to me ever again and if he does they will kill him! I really do love him and feel that I need to fight! He said he really does want to stay with me and loves me but can't or they will kill him. I need to make this right/halal in any and every way I can but I don't know what to do!
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Assalaamualaikam
From your post, I get the impression that you yourself are not Muslim, I apologise if I am mistaken.
In Islam, it is generally considered a grave sin to have intimate pre-marital relationships, so his family may be very upset and unhappy to learn that he has not followed this guidance. This is a natural response to any parent finding that their child has made a mistake that could have serious repercussions in this life or the next (I'm not meaning that your feelings for each other are a mistake, only that this may be how his family view the situation).
Most of the time, people wouldn't actually harm their children, and "or they'll kill me" is usually an exaggeration born of anxiety. If, however, this boy's family might harm him, it is important for him to get in touch with someone who can help, eg a teacher or his doctor.
It may be that this boy will be able to persuade his parents to at least meet and get to know you and your family. Or, it may be that they remain adamant that they do not want him to communicate with you. If the latter is the case, I would advise that you respect this as them protecting their son in accordance with their beliefs.
It might help if you learn a bit about Islam. This might help you understand the different perspectives on the situation. When people find that a rule is stopping them from doing what they desire, they can resent it and think that whatever's behind that rule must be harsh and unkind. But Islam is not like that; it is a faith of peace, community and respect.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Salaams,
I think what his parents decided to do in light of the discovery of his sexual activity with you is appropriate. If your parents had found out instead of his, I would expect them to restrict your access to him as well. That's good parenting.
In this case, you need to abide by the wisdom of the parents. They are trying to guide both of you to be responsible and virtuous adults, and the best thing you can do is accept their consequence for you poor choices and try to start earning their trust again (both of you). In time, you may see that being with a guy you love is really not as valuable as building a character that will safeguard you the rest of your life.
Eventually, you will both be adults and free to make your own choices. If you still want to pursue a relationship at that time, then you have the option of getting married, which is ultimately the best thing for two people who are highly attracted to one another and are too greatly tempted by sin otherwise.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
How do you know his sister communicated with you? Did your b/f tell you that his family will kill him if he sees you again? I think you just got used. Did he promise you he was going to marry you?