Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My wife will not be intimate with me or practice Islam.


muslimah righteous

The Prophet (sws) said: “This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this word is a righteous woman.” (Muslim)

I am in very difficult position. I have been married for 3 years, and for the past 2.5 years my wife refuses to have sexual contact. She cares alot for me but not for any sexual need.

Another thing is that she is Muslim but  not practice any Islam which make me angry as I am husband.She refuse to offer salah and she dont want to give Zakat as well.

When I ask her about it she says that 'its my problem not yours'.  I become angry when this happens, what should I do?

Why Allah put me in such a test, at the time of marriage she said she is Muslim but after marriage things are like I told you.

Plz help me. I am in deep problem.

~ drfahad

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2 Responses »

  1. AA;

    You say she is good to you but not accepting the sex part so Inshallah there is a great hope. Maybe she is just suffering from something that she can not tell you about! Or maybe she is not happy with it but does not know how to approach you.

    As for the other stuff, maybe you can keep reminding her and advice her, but she might be right because she will be judged based on her deeds and you on yours. Of course it is bothersome, and it causes friction and anger when one’s wife does not listen, but sometimes you have to weight in pros and cons.

    To start with, you two need to talk and get someone involved too. I do not think answers like "I do not want to" and "It is my problem" etc should not be a last line in a discussion or an argument. And if she does not want to talk to you, maybe you can get your parents (I don’t know maybe start with your mother since it is about sex) or her parents, or the Imam at the mosque.

    May Allah bless you both, shower you with his mercy, and guide you to the right path.


  2. Brother,

    To deny you your right to your marital needs, your wife is selfish. Talk to her and find out what the problem is (if anything) and if necessary, take her to the doctors. Maybe there is a legitimate reason why she does not want to have sex. Any good doctor will be able to talk to her and find out what the root of the problem is. To use excuses such as "I am tired" is not fair to you in the least. You say, "she cares a lot for me" but if she cares so much for you...she will take care of you in the bedroom. Seriously...a husband should not have to beg for his rights when it comes to something of this nature.

    As far as not being a practicing Muslimah,maybe it is because of this she does not know just how haram it is to let you sleep at night, denying you of your most basic needs within your marriage.

    Continue to encourage her to pray and follow the path of a true believer. Seek help within your family and Inshallah you and your wife can get the help you definitely need in order to put your marriage on the right track. Best of luck to both of you.

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