Should i wait for him?
Asalamu alekum,
My name is Soni. I am 18 years old, from Pakistan.
I love a boy and he also loves me, we both are deeply in Love with each other. His mother is having heart problem so he is always with his mother he loves his mother, her mother is her best friend. He have told to his mother about me and his mother agreed, I am happy she is not having any problem with our relationship.
Long time ago, he went away from me neither messaged me nor called me , I waited for him two months and prayed ALLAH(Swt) to bring him back in my life. ALLAH listened to my prayers and brought him back to my life I asked him why did he go away without telling me what was the problem; he explained to me that his mother was not feeling well so he was with her all day and night. I said I will pray for her you don´t worry but please don´t go away from me with out telling me. So he said me that he won´t let that happen again. But now again he repeated that same thing. Since two months and five days, I am waiting for him and praying ALLAH but there is no any response from him. I am so worried about him and his mother. Please help me, I am so confused, I don´t know what to do, I am praying every single time and waiting for him beacause I love him.
sony
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Dear Soni, Walaykumsalaam,
Sorry, but I think this boy is lying to you about his mother. The best thing you can do is to contact him yourself and tell him that you have waited long enough and refuse to wait anymore. Do that and then move on with your life. Seriously, stop wasting your life over someone who is clearly lying to you.
Allah says in the Quran, Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 126:
“….and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.”
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
i agree. i reckon his lying to you
Asalamoalaikum sister,
although I don't know for sure if this guy is lying about his mother or not but what I can gurantee you is that something fishy is going on. He really can't be with his mother ALL the time and him disappearing & re-appearing again seems quite dodgy to me. Maybe there is another girl in the picture? I really don't want to assume things but I suggest for your own good that you contact him and let him know that you are ending things. You don't deserve to be left in the dark like this and he doesn't seem serious about you either.
-Helping Sister
As salamu alaykum, sister sony,
I don´t know if he is lying or not, but what I think it is not right is that you spend two months without knowing a single word for him, takes two minutes to make a phone call and know about you, this is not going to change if he doesn´t have the need to contact you in two months now, he won´t ever have the need to be close to you, he will be the kind of man that sees you once or twice a year and will dissapear for the rest of the year, letting you feeling lost, guilty, worried and depressed because he doesn´t have your same needs or love or whatever, then stop this relationship, heal your wound and move forward to find a man that wants to be with you, that loves you following real standards, that wants to spend time with you, that wants to share life with you, insha´Allah.
I maybe tough and harsh here but I rather see you annoyed with me now, than seeing you losing your life waiting for a man that doesn´t have a minute in two months to dedicate to you, he doesn´t deserve you and for sure a soft Heart as yours deserves a man that knows how to appreciate and care about you.
You are important, you deserve attention, you deserve to be loved and feel that love being shared with you in the right way, insha´Allah.
If a man wants to get close to you to marry you, stop him and ask him to follow the proper muslim approach and tell him to talk to your family to follow the straight muslim path for marriage, don´t lose your energy and your life with someone that doesn´t want to be involve with you as you deserve. The Straight Path protects you from men that just want to use you, and will allow honest and straight men get close to you, don´t trust appearances, follow your Heart, not blindly, asking for Allah(swt) guidance, and let your olders to get to know about your future spouse to protect you as much as it is possible, insha´Allah.
You are a precious jewel and you deserve a king that knows how to appreciate you and wants to make you his queen, insha´Allah.
Please, get strong in your deen and strengthen your bond to Allah(swt), stronger it is you will see fastest the steps you need to take, insha´Allah.
All my Unconditional Love, Respect and Support,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Beautifully put MashaaAllah sister Maria!
Assalaamu alaikum dear sis Soni.
I am sorry but I completely agree that the situation is not right. Regardless of him caring for his mother - two months is a very long time. I will be blunt - this is my strong opinion and I'm sorry if it hurts you - it is only my opinion though so may Allah forgive me if I am wrong: Some people may like or love someone but they may not be serious about the other in the same way - they may have secrets and they may lead the person on. They often make excuses for themselves, and try to win the person back etc until they give up - they usually leave eventually. From what you have said, this person bears to hallmark of such a person. Nevertheless you deserve better whatever the reason.
You seem like a very patient girl with a big heart and I agree that you deserve better. If you keep putting your life on hold for him, how will you live it? Live your life my dear sister. You can InshaAllah get a husband who will give you the time of day and won't lead you on.
I strongly advise you to leave this person, move on - it will take some time but its possible. Changing your number may also help so he cant contact you and try to win you back. This will InshaAllah savve you from getting hurt and from sin.
If you are insistent on staying or 'waiting' as such the least you should do is not try to contact him and keep busy and live your life. Do istakhaarah if this is the case (if you feel too weak to leave) Also ask Allah to remove this guy from your life and help you move on if hes bad for you and bring him back if hes good for you, rather than asking for him back. Remember that Allah knows what is good for us and what is bad for us - we dont so at least put your trust in him on this matter.
I pray that you find happiness in both worlds and a beautiful pious spouse who will give you his time!
Ameen
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
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