Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Still praying Istikhara after getting the “result”

Muslim woman in hijab

Salaam,

I am a 30-year-old female who really wants to get married to a practicing muslim man. I have had several proposals but they did not seem right to me either because of time or compatibility. However at this time, I feel I am ready and willing to get into marriage.

Recently I got introduced to a brother by my brother-in-law. Those two are friends and go to same mosque and participate in religious activities together. I only met him once and was with my brother and sister. After that, we both agreed to pray Istikhara and get back after Ramadan with our answers. I really, really like the brother's character and it is everything I wish for in a spouse. However, I was not attracted by his appearance (physical attraction).

I said to myself that I will get my final answer after several Istikharas. I prayed for a while during Ramadan but in results I ended up liking more of his character but still questioning his appearance. After Ramadan my brother asked about it and I said "No...it doesn't feel right to me." So we didn't push through with the proposal.

But on my side, I still question my decision and the answer I gave. I feel like I am in love with his character but get stuck when it comes to attraction. I wonder if I made the right decision and till now am still praying Istikhara to Allah to show me the guidance in regards to the same brother. I feel like I have let go of a good man just because he is not attractive. Am confused.

Ayshaa

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2 Responses »

  1. It's upto you. Now a days it's hard to find a guy who's character is good. If you have nice feeling about him then you may proceed.

  2. Asalamualaykum Ayshaa,

    If you are still praying Istikhara, then it means you haven't really gotten the result yet. The "result" is the way events in your life naturally unfold following your Istikhara prayer and dua. If you are still not certain, just continue to pray the Istikhara salat and make dua, and you will eventually find peace in your situation.

    Hugs,

    Nor
    IslamicAnswers

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