I want to make amends with my in-laws but husband won’t let me.
I do not see eye to eye with my in-laws because I have been accused of things which haven't been true. I used to confide in my sister in laws and one day they turned on me and things have been said by them. All the times I have expressed myself to my husband he has basically said what his sisters have said about me.
After this I made a choice to have nothing to do with his brothers and sisters because everyday it was something new. My sister in law went on umrah few weeks ago she was meeting and hugging everyone before she went but avoided me. As they were going to leave I approached her and met her because I don't have a grudge just backed off from them. I was ready to go and see her today because she is back my husband told me to stay away from his family and said hurtful stuff to me. After this I believe he doesn't want me to make amends with his family and is being the barrier.
I feel if I went to meet his sister everything will be put behind us and could use this as a clean slate and move on. My query is what do I do because my husband will not let me go to visit her nor will he try and make amends between us and goes back to his family and says negative things, I have told him until he doesn't sort things he can not take the children to his side of the family.
-flower21
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Salaams,
Sister, why would you want to get back into a friendly circle with ladies you clearly cannot trust? I think you did the right thing when they betrayed you, and distanced yourself from them. It doesn't sound like they want to be friendly with you at this point, and I tend to believe any relationship you try to establish with the siblings in law will only be used against you as it was in the past. I suggest you continue to keep your distance from them until they want to be a part of your life. Not only that, it must be sincere on their part, not just a ruse to find more ways to manipulate your trust.
What I'm more concerned about is the damage their behavior has seemed to cause your marriage. It seems that your husband has been influenced from the information they gave him. I think right now you should focus more on mending your relationship with him and any trust he has lost in you as a result of the tales they told him about you. You are trying to solve the problem by keeping the children away from his family, but honestly the children are not to blame and shouldn't be punished. They have a right to their own relationships with their aunties and uncles, and believe it or not they can have healthy ones completely separate from what's going on with you and they. I think you need to put more energy into talking to your husband about whatever was said about you, how it makes him feel and think about you, and what you can do with him to make the two of you close in marriage again. Maybe once you've mended that gap, he will think it's in your best interest to approach his sister and try to work things out there as well.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Shouldn't your husband be there to support you I mean what kind of man allows people to treat his wife in such a way.
my husband has no problem with their parents treating me bad coz HE DO NOT CARE.