Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Want to marry a moroccan man

Posted by • November 7, 2011 • Printer-friendly

hello

love non muslim

I hope someone can help me. I am a uk citazen and have fallen in love with a man from morocco on the internet. He is muslim and I was brought up as church of england

I am currently going through a divorce. I feel like I really love this man and want to be with him. I have 4 children who also adore this man, however we have never met.

I would love to marry him and spend my life with him and my children. Can anyone give me any advise please.

charlotta


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2 Responses »

  1. Amy
    November 7, 2011 • 11:07 pm

    Salaams,

    I would caution you strongly about your next steps with this man. Being that you are going through a divorce, you are in an emotionally vulnerable position. Your feelings for this person may not entirely accurate, especially since you don't know him other than via online. Needless to say, it is too easy for others to portray themselves in a different light than who they actually are through the internet. Not to mention, there are far too many people who are trying to marry strictly for purposes of citizenship. We have post after post on this site of heartbroken women (and men) who thought they were marrying for love, only to find out they were being used all along. This doesn't even include posts about those who married someone they barely knew or met online, and they came to find out later that this person was cruel and/or abusive.

    You have four children, so it's imperative that you take every precaution when looking for a new husband. The truth is, there is no rush to remarry. Time is on your side with this, and it's vital that you take that time to make sure that the person you commit to is genuine, caring, honest, and everything else you need and want them to be.

    Another aspect here is the toll your current divorce may be having on you, without you even realizing it. I am not sure why your marriage failed, but even if you did nothing wrong the fact of having lived life with someone who may have been less than ideal will wear on you. Do you want to go into your next relationship with any unhealed scars? I would suggest that you focus on any issues that are surrounding your divorce and how it's affecting you, and bring closure to them. You may need a counselor to help with this. This way, you can know that if you meet the man of your dreams, you will be offering him more of yourself, not less.

    If this man is serious about marriage, he should try to immigrate first. Have him go through all the necessary steps to get a visa so he can come to the UK. Once he is able to do that, he can look for work as he will need a means to support a family. While he is in UK you can have meetings with him and a local imam or other chaperone and get to know him for who he really is. Then and only then can you truly decide if this is the person you and your children should be spending the rest of your life with.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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  2. Abu Az-Zubayr
    November 8, 2011 • 4:09 pm

    i would advice you to stop talking to this man whilst going through a divorce, wait untill you are a divorcee.

    if you choose to marry him, then make sure he is a god conscience man.
    because that way, if he loves you, he will always honour you as his wife, if he falls out of love with you, then he will never opress you.

    Reply

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