Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to be a better Muslim

tumblr_m0tqzwP4IG1qiyoe1o1_500_3Hi I need advice from you people .........

I don't pray a lot i want to pray and believe in Allah i believe in him but i don't show it that much so i want to show it by praying, but i make promises to Allah but i don't keep it so i don't know what to do can you people give me advice.........

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4 Responses »

  1. Assalamu'alaikum Sister,

    May Allah Accept your niyyah and convert in into reality. The feeling you have is the need to increase your Imaan and your Taqwa. This can be done by improving your knowledge and acting upon this knowledge in order to Please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.

    Read beneficial books, authentic imformation, update your knowledge and act upon what you know. You can refer to for authentic information and books and listen to duroos at

    In sha Allah these will help you in improving your taqwa and increasing the level of your Imaan.

    Imaan is the utterance of the tongue, approval of the heart and deed of the body; it increases with obedience and decreases with disobedience. So, improve in these areas in order to improve your deen, your relationship with your Lord.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  2. Assalaamualaikam sister

    In addition to the reading recommended by my fellow editor, I would also suggest that you look for study groups or talks in your area that you could attend - many larger towns and cities have Islamic education centres, and your local masjid would be able to direct you to a reputable one. There you can increase your knowledge, and also surround yourself with women who, like yourself, want to learn more about Islam and improve their emaan.

    Look at the people around you in your daily life - do they inspire you to love and obey Allah? Do they practise Islam? If there are people in your life who are negative influences on your faith, try to avoid them if possible and replace them with positive influences.

    Rather than "jumping in at the deep end" (which often leads to short bursts of activity and then a return to past behaviour), try to make small but sustained changes to bring your faith towards the centre of your daily life. Start by resolving to pray your five daily prayers every day - you can set an alarm for the right times so that you can get into the habit. Initially, you can just focus on getting the obligatory components right, and then build on that as you feel stronger. Make sure that you're eating halal food, observing principles of modesty, and inshaAllah start wearing hijab.

    You can also try reading or listening to Quranic recitation regularly - even if you are only able to read or listen to a short surah or a few ayahs, inshaAllah you may find that this increases your love for Islam and brings you closer to your deen. Modern life can mean people feel too busy to stop and reflect for long, but there are still plenty of opportunities to do so - if you have a smartphone, you can get electronic editions of the Quran and hadiths (make sure you get a reputable one though), you can record talks and radio shows to listen to on a personal music player - that way you can study wherever you are. If you have a daily commute to school or work, that might be a good time.

    May Allah help us all learn more about Islam and improve our practice.

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. you said you are a muslim and you dont ffer your salat prayers! and you are willing to become a good muslim by praying regularly and fulfiling your covenant with Allah.

    well then, since you believe in islam whole heartedly, you beleive all what islam said is true, you believe paradise is true and hell fire is also true with all certainty,

    then what will coerce you to start offering your salat prayers regularly is for you to recall or remember what is waiting in store in the afterlife for those who dont pray regularly.

    the prophet said "the distinction between a muslim and a hypocrate and a musrik (nonmuslim) is the salat prayers "

    now you need to remember the punishment that is awaiting those who call themselves muslims and they dont offer there prayers regularly AND THEY ALLOW THEMSELVES TO DIE IN THAT STATE. they would have to go to hellfire and suffer there for a given time (which depends on the gravity of sins they commit and the amount of prayers they missed). they would burn and suffer grate torment in that fire after which they would be removed from the fire and brought back to paradise

    this hell fire is 70times as intense as the highest burning fire temperature you can think of in this world.

    you can make an experinment by burning a wood with fire and try to put your hand in that fire for 30 seconds to see if you can resist the pain. you would realise that you CANT resist the pain for even 5 seconds... that is just a fire coming from a wood, which is nothing compared to higher temperatures used in melting strong metals in the industries..

    now can you imagine the pains, torments and sufferings that someone will feel if he enters a fire that is 70times more hotter than the highest temperature you can think of in this world???

    think about this.

    entering hellfire for even few seconds is a serious and unimaginable sufferness. not to talk of spending years and years in hellfire as a retribution for you missing your salat prayers.

    now bother, do you think it worth it.. for you to miss prayers and go and suffer such a grate torment?? how many minutes woud it take you to offer your prayers? less than 15 munites. and this prayers are only five in number in different and fixed times of the day.

    so brother make a sincere repentance now and never miss your salat prayers again. remain constant in observing the five times compulsory prayers until death overtakes you.

    Allah is oft-forgiven, most merciful. If you make a sincere repentance, and you stop missing your prayers, Allah would forgive your past sins, including the sins which results from the past salat you missed.

    you dont know when death would come to you brother. it might be today, it might be tomorrow, it might be next week or next 50 years.

    repent now brother, time is not on our side and death comes unannounced.

  4. Mashallah.

    Its your strong intention to change and become a better Muslim which has already won you reward in the eyes of Allah. when you walk toward him he runs towards you. subhanallah Alhamdolillah.

    why don't you make a diary of your qualities or habits that can possibly lead you to hell and the good things about you that will save you front it.

    when I made an honest record of habits that I'm use to I was so shocked. It just went on and on and thought woah! I have to change so much. Right from not wearing hijab, to wearing perfume and makeup and not praying, and not reading quran regularly or not trying to understand what I read and not following the sunnah to associating with wrong company of friends to wasting time to chatting and gossip and backbiting and and not controlling anger and using swear words while normal communication (gosh they were on the tip of my tongue, thanx to my friends) the list was endless.

    then I thought if I'm going to make it look like a mountain I'm not gonna change anything so I divided my deeds into zahir and baatin. our faith is an amalgamation of both. one cannot exist without another. Zahir are those deeds that are more action based. like performing correct wudu and performing the 5 salahs on time and reading quran daily or trying to memories and baatin is what you feel towards it and your Lord. The spiritual connection with the creator.

    a state of emotional connection that one achieves while performing these actions is the aim. since the end of performing salahs is to establish a humble connection with Allah and by performing it on time and regularly you manifest your total submission to Him. Similarly reading quran with comprehension and pondering over its meaning and listening to it and feeling the joy while listening to an excellent recitation will help you achieve a new and higher level of spirituality.

    .,.you will see some very so called pious men and women who are very particular about the way they dress and the physical actions in which they pray, like on time and etcetera. but sadly you won't find goodness of character in them. they will be rude or conniving. Dishonest or rough in some cases you will get shocked when such people commit heinous crimes and you wonder where is his emaan? he use to pray and he recited quran so well or that he was a haafiz or an imaam ? If such people were our ideal our eman would shake due to their actions and we would wonder if such is the case of so called religious people I'm better off without religion astagfirullah.
    but what we need to understand is that these people are NOT religious. Religious are these who submit their will and your will is your inward actions, your feelings first, your fear of consequences, your love and reverence for Allah, your constant desire to please Him, your desire to be loves by Him etc. Your outward actions only complete your eman. Your zahir is hollow if its devoid of your baatin and your baatin is meaningless without your zahir. Just like a beautiful body is called called either dead or a doll without a soul and a soul is just air without its body. We as Muslims must have both. only a right balance will make us complete our eman.

    so make a list of zahir and baatin.
    a list if things you do already or you need to do and a list of feelings towards Allah that you already feel or need to develop.

    In zahir make sure you perform all you OBLIGATORY actions.
    like salahs on time, c if you perform it correctly,
    you do your wudu well,
    read quran with its translation if you don't know Arabic.
    you give zakat properly and fast all Ramadan without skipping. since you are a girl make sure you make up for the missed fasts after Ramadan.
    Do your morning and evening askar.
    stay away from all haram actions and thoughts.

    in Baatin make sure
    you dont lose your focus in salah, concentrate well, try to imagine Him in front of yourself, recite your surahs slowly (right speed) and while pondering over its meaning in your head. enjoy the sujood
    make supplications with faith in your Lord. with faith means my supplication will not go to waste. If not today then maybe tomorrow, if not now then maybe later, if not in.this duniya but in akhirah my Allah will give me what I asked for.
    believe in your destiny. trust His plans for you. If tested with hardship do not think its coz He doesn't love you but rather coz He is closer to you.
    Love His creation. You cannot love Him without loving what He loves.
    Purify your heart by trying to forgive.
    Create fear in your heart for the akhirah by reading and listening about it.
    make a list of people who make you bad. like bad company or your enemies who ignite negativity. stay away if possible and make a conscious effort to keep bad thoughts at bay. just your effort at this point will be immensely appreciated by Allah.

    These are your basic steps towards becoming a Muslim. in order to become a better Muslim you can set new goals after you achieve these perfectly. like take your routine of Ibadah by praying nawafils and keeping fasts on every Monday or/ and Thursday like Rasool Allah did. Give more charity apart from zakat. like give food to one street kid or urchin everyday.. if you are rich try to sponsor an orphan. if you dont know any then go to an orphanage and tell them that you want to sponsor one kid. they will let you. spend quality time with that kid in a week or two. extent your kindness and affection towards your family. visit sick neighbours or send across some portion of a good meal and etc. I'm just saying things that look like general possibility to earn reward from Allah but you know better what you can do according to your interests and capacity but make sure you fulfill your obligations first and then gradually expand your circle. your home and your neighbours and then your extended family and then your area and so on. some people join organisations that take them to rural areas for social service and they fail to notice destitute and needy right outside their house. thats absolute hypocrisy, be careful about it.

    whatever you do make sure in your heart you are thinking of Allah when you are doing it. wonder if it is pleasing him if he will forgive your past sins.

    as you escalate you will notice at first you will do things to please Him for heaven and save you from hell.
    Then you will go a notch higher and you will feel love for Him and you eagerness to see Him will gradually grow and you will weep and beg for Him to communicate with you.
    Then you will like and love everything around you just because He made it.
    Then will come a point where everything you do, you will do for Him ONLY.
    Then slowly and gradually as you detach from all worldly pleasures your desire to die in the state of His love will grow. I want to die for you Allah.

    But like I said first stop all the haram actions. coz your healing process will only start once you stop bleeding. so stop the bleeding first. I hope your intention to become a good Muslim makes you one.
    Also pray for me.


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