I want to become a good Muslim
Allah loves purity
Dear readers,
I know all this is going to sound so bad, but to be frank in heart I am not a bad human its just that I can't help things. I am a girl, 18 age, about to give my 12th exams INSH-ALLAH. I have this problem of masturbating which is with me since I was 14. I didn't have it too much that time but now its almost every week. I don't watch porn movies as such nor have habit. Once when I did I felt odd, this problem in me is killing me everyday, after I finish I feel so guilty and I cry alot.
I am a Muslim, I love Islam. To be true I don't pray everyday and all prayers though I try to. I want to be a good human and a good Muslim too..whenever I pray, I pray to Allah SWT that I somehow become a good human being and a good muslim. Due to this site ALHUMDULILLAH I came to know that I am not only the one with this problem. There are many more females facing it. I hope someone will give me a reply and I will be able to move ahead. It took me alot of courage to think of posting this and I hope it wont be too long.
Since I was 12 I have been a very soft girl and I always adjusted with time and life. I live in a joint family with so many people: my mother has always been busy in the family. I have had this habit for long but then after I turned 14 I dont know how I got into socializing with guys maybe because of wrong friends circle. I started talking to guys and met few, did nothing and slowly got rough with things. Since I was in joint family my father was very strict. We were not left alone anywhere, nor meet any friends, even female. So after I turned that way things were bad. I started getting so much of anger and I disobeyed my parents.
I started to lie even more, then one fine day I fell in love with a guy who was a Muslim as well, a nice guy, I loved him alot. We have had physical relation too, then things changed. After few months we had fights and all and I don't know how I got into other guy with his presence and I committed Zina with other guy. My family came to know about it..and as we are in joint family most of the relatives came to know. I don't know why I committed zina and how I had no love or feelings for that man. Nor I knew him well.
After that my father hit me and my parents were even more strict with me. I know how much I have hurt my family and I still feel guilty. Its been 3-4yrs since its happened. My parents still can't forget it nor can I. Since then whenever any problem in family or anything else I was the person to be blamed for things I do or didn't. Somewhere I did get mad but then kept quiet thinking this is the punishment I have to get from ALLAH SWT.
After that incident, I prayed alot, asked for forgiveness and the guy I loved left me. Things after that turned worse in my family, for almost 2 yrs I was locked at home. I cried everyday and every night. I know how much I have hurt them and everyone. I know my parents can't face anyone. But it was nothing intentionally it just happened. Things slowly were ok.
After 2 yrs of pain, my father decided to send me to school. I decided not to do anything wrong. This were ok. But the problem of masturbating was the worse in me, still is when I have that feeling I am like a complete different person like another human inside me who is bad and worse. I don't know what happens to me, I just change into bad human. Hmm, I had alot of restrictions, I was not supposed to make any friends, not email girls, no phone, nothing. Sometimes I used to break completely and sometimes I never knew what to do. But then knew all this is my punishment, I had few friends in school and I didn't want to hurt my parents nor lie. But as I told there is another human inside me which is bad...then i met this guy who was good...he is a Muslim..Alhumulillah..he taught me many things...he used to make sure i pray on time..as well as he pray...i know having a male friend is Islam is not good...but then i dint have anyone....
I managed to be online. We chat, we became good friends, best friends, he knew everything about my past and one day he fell in love with me. That time I didnt knew about his feelings and in my school times I met another guy who was of my country i started talking to him as well..we met..i decided that time rather then again doing mistakes in my life i be permanent to one guy and get married to him as because he is from my country my dad may accept..and we met..i dint commit and zina with him but we kissed...then after few months i came to know he is a different person from what i knew...and things changed...my best friend..he still was with me..later he came to know and he was angry but still explained me...and i left that guy...meanwhile my best friend proposed me...i had noone except him in my life as friend...he taught me soo much about Islam...
I dont know after 1 1/2 yr of our friendship i feel in love with him....we were best friends still... this relation went on for 3yrs..we both know its haram for relationship...but we had only each other...he knew my past completely..he accepted me with all his heart...a times i felt soo bad and cry that why he loves me soo much when he knows what all i have done....he is ready to marry me.. he is just good as a husband have a god job ALHUMDULILLAH,he loves his family,he can do anything for them,he is a good human being,and he loves me...but since he is from other country i know my dad wont allow..because my dads reputation is more important..and i respect my dad..and want to do and marry as he will..but this guy he prays he gets me...he is ready to try anything.... he even know about my masturbating problem...sometimes i really cry alot thinking i wont get him because...i have ditched that guy by leaving him..i feel i am the worst person on this earth..i am soo bad :(..but my guy he still loves me and no matter what always make sure he is with me..i have even hurt him many times...but still..
i know that having a guy and talking is haram...but i just cant leave him..i have only him..as a friend,best friend,lover,everything...
i know once i am married to sum oneels he will slowly forget me...but right now i cant tell about my problems to my parents..nor i can get married..because my sister is ambitious and she want to finish her studies nor i can marry before her...after that incident in my past i realize the love for family..i even decided to leave my guy...but sum how i am not able to.... sum times i feel i am hurting him...i just feel i am soo bad and i can never change.. in-spite of all this i should only be praying i know..but still i do it hardly...i dont know what to do..
i have been in home for 1 yr again due to sum reason of school...i do help mom in house work as i have nothing to do...i know i can pray read Quran and all..but i do hardly...even he tells me to read Quran and pray...i dont know why i am so bad...i am lost completely.....i know i am bad and wrong...but i am just soo helpless with my lower self...i cry most of the days...and ask for forgiveness...i dont have friends...i cant go out..i am locked at home..i dont have phone...anything i do or dont..annoy my parents..i love them...and i know i deserve all this but somehow it hurts alot..
i feel that only after i get out..make female friends..get busy in life..with job and all i can change habit slowly of masturbating....but i know i wont be able to get...mybe because ALLAH SWT know if i get freedom i maybe misuse it....but i dont see another way for this....i just feel soo bad about myself....why i am soo bad?? why ??
i know ALLAH SWT will help me..he has always did...ALHUMDULILLAH...but i just want to change into complete different person...i know noone is perfect and everyone does mistakes...i am not expecting for a perfect change in me..but things like masturbating and all..and i want my parents to really love me more.....i dont know...i love my family soo much...and i want my guy also..the is the only person who knows me well and the only person who tolerated me all this years..no matter how bad or worse i was he always held my hand...i cant hurt my parents as well...
i am even scared to get married to someone els.i know i shouldn't be telling my past to anyone...but as my few relatives know about it..i donot know out of enmity someday they may tell it to my husband...i want to be true and pure to the person i will marry..but after knowing my truth who will marry me?/
i am not bad in heart..i have change a little then before..but there is someone really someone bad inside me...its nothing of black magic or something....but i just dont know...i want my parents love..i want my mom to be my friend..but my mom no matter what i do never understood me..i tried everything....before past also things were not so good between me and mom..as she was busy with family...but since 4yrs its worse..i sometimes feel bad that my sister gets all love then me....but then i deserve all this......
there are soo many things...it is anyways long:P i hope i change i just need prayers.... 🙁
sorry for any spelling mistakes.....
i really need some advice 🙁
-shooki
28 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Dear Shooki, Asalaamualaykum,
I understand what you are saying here. There is so much confusion in your mind. You made some terrible mistakes in your past, you regret your mistakes, you want the strength to stop sinning, you want to be a good practising Muslimah, you wish your parents would trust you again and you want a man to look after you. Sometimes, my sister, things spiral out of control in our minds when in reality, they're not really as bad as we feel them to be. Everything will come in turn, all you need to do is find a little order by taking hold of all those thoughts that are chaotically flying around in your mind and lay them down neatly. And you must make a conscious effort to do so.
Have you made sincere tawbah for your past sins? Insha'Allah you have. But today, I want you to start afresh and turn back to Allah again. Take a hot shower, perform ghusl, wear some clean clothes and go to your room. Pray two nafl and start with the intention of seeking Allah's forgiveness for the sins you committed. Try to close eveything else out of your mind and speak with Allah - do you remember that you are only on this earth because of Him(swt)? And Allah(swt) loves repentance, He(swt) says in Surah Al Baqarah, Ayah 222: "Verily, Allaah loves those who repent and those who purify themselves." When you have made tawbah Sister, stop beating yourself up about the past. Stop reminding yourself of what you did. Instead focus on how you can prevent it from happening again. Make conscious efforts.
With regards to your parents trusting you, how do you expect the trust to return when you know that you have already abused their trust by falling into another haram relationship again? I can see they have been overly strict with you from the outset, but what they are doing now by not allowing you to go out, by taking away your mobile phone etc are the actions of parents desperate to keep their daughter safe - and although I do not agree with their method, I do believe that they do love you. Perhaps they are just frustrated and wish as you do, that you were not in this situation. I believe that your parents will losen up when you can show them that you are stronger in yourself, that you know the difference between right and wrong, when you know how to avoid advances by men etc. But how do you do this when they are not willing to let you out? Its a catch 22 right? Allah knows better though - so maybe He(swt) is keeping you safe this way for now.
Furthermore, if there is a man you are interested in marrying, ask him to speak to your parents for marriage. If they do not agree to marrying you immediately, then ask them to secure your proposal with him and ask Allah to give you sabr till such a time comes that you can be with him. If he refuses to speak to your father regarding marriage, then this means he is not willing to marry you and you must find a way to move on. The more you focus on your deen the more you will move away from things such as masturbation. This must come from your own effort and from asking Allah to give you strength.
First and foremost though sister, turn to Allah. Close out the external noise. Don't be afraid of being alone. This time out is a good thing if only you just realise it. Leave alone all the negative thoughts, throw them out the window, and when you do feel pain from the absence of your male friend, ask Allah to comfort you. Beg Allah to mend your relationship with Himself(swt) and with your parents. Without this there is nothing, invest your time in praying Salaah and learning about Islam. Learn about the male and female companions of Rasool(sws) and you will begin to look up to them and aspire to be like them. Spend time with your family and gradually the trust will begin to return. Ask your parents if they will allow you to attend Islamic Classes with your sister and to go for walks for fresh air. You need this. You are not a bad person at all, you are just confused and desperate for things to fall in to place. When you are confident in yourself, insha'Allah your parents will begin to feel the same way about you too. When you are in a happier state of mind, a good husband will also come your way - and remember that you do not need to reveal your past to anyone - you deserve to give yourself that much dignity.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
But by not reveling my past wont it be a false relation with my tobe husband? Wont i start a relation with such a big secret?? What if later he comes to know ?:(
I know i am soo stuped.. 🙁 i did i am still doing 🙁 but sumwer i am helpless 🙁
Shooki,
Read the information on this link, it will help you understand 'Tawbah in Islam': http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/its-not-over-til-the-trumpets-blown-tawbah-and-repentance/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/poem-turning-back-to-allah/
Also, read this:
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/the-sin-of-adultery-and-fornication-part-2/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/the-sin-of-adultery-and-fornication-part-3/
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam
I'm not trying to be crude here. But Wow hunny come on. You said you hated yourself for committing wrong stuff but you continue. I say you stay home . Don't go to school, get home schooled. Love? maybe you think its loves. Stop all connections with this guy. I didn't read the last paragraph or 2 but i will. Please stay positive. The masturbation, is a nasty habit but when you feel like your going to do it call your sister, mom. Go for a walk with mom. Get your mind off of it. What you didn't is now your past but when you know its wrong you should start doing right. I hope you start thinking with your mind. Inshallah you get happiness. Everyone does deserve happiness.
Sorry i am new to this site so gave my reply as comment 🙁
Thats fine Shooki. This is your thread and your space, so you are free to reply here.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
DEAR sisterz
i dont know hn email...but there is sumthing i want to ask u personal..plz do help me
ALLAH HAFIZ
sorry i mean how to email u ... sorry
Shooki,
Submit your question as a separate post making sure that you request for it to remain private and it will be kept so insha'Allah. Once it is published, only yourself, the Editors and I will be able to view and comment on it insha'Allah.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank u soo much sister..and i know what you all really mean and say..and i respect it..i have been trying to moveon and be a better person..but sumwer somehow i am not able to..i know i can b the worse daughter ever..hu has olready done mistakes..and cant change herself...
Even after my bad past..after the guy he came into mylife i hv tryed changing..and myb till an extend i hv..i dnt kw..only Allah swt kws..i kw vry well relation,lv , lust is haram..its just i kw the questions i know the answers n i knw what i have to do...but its just that i am not able to do it :(..i know why all bad is happning to me...and i am trying to change..but sumwhere i am really not able to.its like sumtyms i m nt in my control :(...i really want to change into good human..and want to make my parents proud..want to fulfill my dreams..but i m soo bad that things r not workingout
And about him Alhumdulillah he is ready to speak to my father right away..but i know my dad he wont accept him..as he is not from our country..and i cant hurt my dad by getting married to him.. 🙁
I know i am rong but i just dont know why i m so bad 🙁
I know i suldent be having any relation with a guy...i know its rong in islam...and i also know that if we have noone we have Allah swt...
Its just i dont have anyone to share feelongs when i m fully tierd of life...he gives me support..he somehow teaches me the right way...asks me to pray,read quran,corrects my mistakes...
He is the only guy i trust on this earth..
I know that i am rong evrywhere..but i still wish evryday that i will change n by night things go bad...and i start crying...eat alott..finally again cry and sleep...i know noone can be as bad as me 🙁
May Allah bless everyone...Aameen
And thank u sisters..
Dear Shoki,
After understanding the whole scenario ov your emotional life failure in our society, I am just leaving a thought provoking message for you.....just align up ur +ve thoughts into ur neo-cortex mind rather than using just just limbic brain (emotional part of brain) simply it means set up ur emotions with reasons this strategy will make u really successful in both lives.
km to da point....
u want to become a good Muslim? but why?...pls think about this.....in my case, there are more than 20 reasons to explain why i want to become a true muslim...well..Almighty Allah SWT has the ultimate priority for me, so I dont care about my physique, emotions, social life,parents, friends, finance relative to Allah SWT as I know that these things have no value after my death.again question strikes into mind, how how and how....... well ..i focus on 5 obligations,i never miss them. These are Kalma, prayer(namaz),fasting (roza),charity ( zakat) & Hajj. so eliminate the word try,can,may etc....and just focus on it,plan it and do it..This only can happen if I can give priority to our spirituality over everything else,like my emotions( Romance,Love,greediness,sex,masturbation,career,physique, thoughts etc), physical beauty, family, friends and finances......I know after my death, masturbation will not help me,Romance,Love,greediness,sex,masturbation,career,physique, thoughts etc), physical beauty, family, friends and finances all thses things will be helpless......when ur soul leaves ur body..rest ov ur body becomes useless just for food for insects, so will my masturbation will be there.....no no..only my spirituality(5 obligations ,food of my soul) will save me and grant me ever-lasting and young life..so I use my mind to overcome my involuntary emotions like masturbation and do a lot of +ve self-talks..Hi u r such a nice person, u provide food ur soul daily and u really understand the true meaning of this life. I hold Holy Quran and start talking to Almighty Allah SWT with translation....I have a little diary for daily tasks that provide food to my soul.
After spirituality, I focus on myself...i ask myself..who am I & why am here? Then I write whatever I have +ve beliefs about myself,about my family, about my country and about whole globe. I make myself fit spiritually, physically, emotionally and socially. I am a young man of 24 yrs, doing master in Engineering in the UK,came from a poor,uneducated, rural and homeless family of my developing country. I never never took a single penny from my parents for food, cloths ,and getting education. I am throughout first position holder,scholarship holder in my educational career. All these achievements are from Almighty Allah SWT as I prefer HIM all over other things. I love HIM huge, I love myself, I love to align up my +ve thoughts, I eliminate all -ve thoughts like I am not good person, I will try to become good,I have no life..i do masturbation..no one loves me...I dont focus on these thoughts, I use my critical thinking mind rather than using just emotional brain to do masturbation, zina, etc. I know what I will be exactly after 5 yrs from now may be CEO of any multinational company, writer of 5 good books with 30 research papers. For this I focus my brain energy, & time to accomplish my daily tasks. I know clearly genitals parts of human body only give temporary happiness and offspring nothing real and ever-lasting happiness. I model myself a good muslim for my LORD,family and country..ur life will change in that moment when you decide to change it..b present oriented..forget past..and love urself and ur family so that ur children will proud ov u being such a nice person. I hope this will help you.
Jazak Allah Khair....stay blessed...
well-being
hmm..i dont know what i should say...there are some points wich i get..and some i dont...to be true..i know whatever i am doing is wrong..and still do...and i also know that in the end i am the one to suffer...and i know that nothing from what i do is going to help me in hereafter....but my problem here is..i try...or myb i myself cant try hard...i dont know...
just this one week..i dint try but things just happend..i prayed on time..decided things and it was well..ALHUMDULILLAH....i mean i was busy..tho i being a student..i tryed keeping myself busy in home stuffs...i tryed learning new things...which kept me busy frm masturbation..or any such feelings...
i was busy my mind and feelings wer diverted....but then again at some point i lost it..i realize that...empty mind is a devils workshop..and i gess in mine its true...
to be true again..this is not completely about my life..there are many other things...good,bad,worse...
i know that this life is a big test from ALLAH SWT...
i think i am not able to fight my inner self....
and about myself...dear brother..
i too have tryed on thinking more of +ve than -ve...and i am a very _ve person..no matter how hard i try...i just cant get thin gs right..
and i know that if i cant help myself...then noone can help me..i know how bad i have been and i am...
when i try to think of the good or the good i have done?? it is myb 3,4
but nothing intentionally...
n bad are countless...
after doing ron i do feel guilty...
i know i really know what people would think..that what type of girl is she..she know she is wrong..she wants to repent and she is saying but not doing...dear brother and sister its not i am not doing...but sumthing is stopping me....
who dosent want to be good?? who wants hell?? noone..nor do i..
and about y i want to be a good muslim..
is because i want to do alot...in my life...teach learn..and
its not only about a being good muslim its about being good human being...
as i said even bfor
i know the questions i know the answers..but i am not able to write it.....
i want to be a good muslim..and want to do right be in the right path..for me for my parents for my future INSHALLAH...noone is perfect but i would be glad if i come a little close..
i want to be a good human being and a good muslim..so that even ever befor i do somthing wrong my iman..my unnerself would stop me..would make me think several times...
i really want to be a good daughter,sister....
i have never been one till now...i try harder..but sometime its my anger i cant fight with..and sometime its my nafis...
i know that only feeling guilty wont work...but i really dont know how...
i cant tell this to anyone in my family cz they r already hurt alot with my past actions...
my scared and past walks with me till now..and i gess it will...anywhere i go i have a fear of seeing the people related to my past..at times i try moving on thinking evryone have a past...i motivate myself..i even know if noone its only ALLAH SWT with me...
but in the time of wrong i dont know to who i change...
i want to focus on myself...but its hard...
its been 4 years by now...i still am incomplete..i missed soo many things in my life...friends,family,studies,future,and many more....
i am scared to miss anything anymore...
after whats happend in my life..my parents sometime keeps reminding me by saying few things...
i know they r not wrong..and i know they are hurt....but sometimes....i feel i need love...love from my dad mom wich my sister gets..i know well i dont deserve it...but..hmm
i have big dreams to become big atleast one..atleast once make my parents proud of me..atleast once..so they can stand proud because of me...
sorry for being soo complicated...i know it maybe hard to understand..
i know i am being stupid..i too dont want to remain such..but..helples..
and sorry......JAZAKALLAHKHAIR..soo muchh that u all are responding by giving your time..
n i really know that evryone here is trying to help me..but the main part i haveto do...INSHALLAH i will keep trying...just pray that even before its too late..INSHALLAH..
thank u soo much....
n sorry for any mistakes... MAY ALLAH SWT protect all of us AAMEEN
dear shooki
ur life is kinda same like myn buh i didnt do zinah. my dad thinks im mentally retarted wen im not. i know how it feels like wen u ave nothing nobdy to depend on
i wana contact wid ya
do reply
its kinda wierd i know
Fati, we do not allow the exchange of private contact information.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
JazakALLAH alot for understanding..may ALLAH(SUBHANA WAATALA) help us..
i am so sorry due to lack of coherency in my lengthy comment due to less time available & it really needs some corrections I could not read it twice in a hurry..anyway if u could not get my point,u can contact me via email.
Well-being,
We do not allow the exchange of email addresses on this website. If you want to explain your point further, you can do so here in public.
Thank you,
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
surely sister, I will help publicly if she needs more
JazaakhAllahkhayr,
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
dear sisterz...
about the personal email it is k..it is nothing personal..as i have already reveled in what i needed help....
i just wanted to ask..that even tho me being wrong and bad...a
do i still have the rights to advice ???advice people
i know its a stupid question because its always see yourself then point at others or correct others...
but can i adive on somthing on myb what i cant change in me but want them to change it? or mybe on something els??
my mother always stopes me saying you have a big fault in you so you have no rights to speak also..
i dint mean advice in harsh way..but sumthing like you people do?? by giving advise as post or comments..like if i feel my advice mybe help...
i know its not right..but just a question..because if no then INSHALLAH i willl always try to keep my mouth closed....
i have realized that evryone does mistakes in some or the other way..so i stoped pointing out even on anything i dont do or do...because i am also doing mistakes just that its diffrent mistake.
hope u get what i ment..sorry for any mistakes and...
JAZAKALLAHKHAIR....FOR ALL THE ADVISES U GAVE ME 🙂
Dear Shooki,
You are not a bad person, you are just going through a difficult time and are maybe somewhat confused emotionally.
Also, if no one gave advice because of their own mistakes, there would not be a single soul on this earth to advise anyone, and so it'd become quite a crazy planet to live on don't you think? No-one is perfect. So, yes give advice, but at the same time ponder over it and ask Allah to help you take your own advice too. And perhaps, because you are going through a certain difficulty, your insight may help someone else. That is my opinion.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank u soo much susterz...and yes INSHALLAH i will try my best to take myown advice first...INSHALLAH
JAZAKALLAHKHAIR...
and INSHALLAH i will try my best to change..just hope it happends before its too late..... 🙁
Assalamualaikum dear sister shooki who is always in Allah's protection, In Shaa Allah, Amin.
Sister, everybody is a sinner but there is Allah who is Oft Forgiving. I didn't meant to say it is fine to do sinful deeds but what I mean to say is never despair, just trust in Him that His love for us is much greater than his wrath. I really understand how it feels sist, to be trapped in the remorse over the sin we did in the past. We feel worthless and desperate but again remember sist, Allah is there. Even when there is no one can trust you, just believe that Allah is still there who will never let you down. We only need to do sincere Tawbah and never go back to it again.
My dear sister, when you don't even have pride upon yourself then how will others be proud of you. You should be proud of how you are sist. Allah has blessed you with Islam that not everyone gets this blessing. You should be proud of it. You are still so young sist, so now, just try to move on. Leave everything which is bad. About your bad habit of masturbation, indeed it will not be easy to stop dear but there is nothing impossible. If you have a strong will then In Shaa Allah you will be able to. Ask for Allah's forgiveness and make yourself busy with good activities which will not give you chance to go back to that bad habit. Try to do exercise also sist to refresh your mind and body. Try to avoid being alone in room except for the time to sleep and avoid to stay on the bed except when you are gonna sleep only. Don't let ourselves be enslaved by our nafs. Say to yourself, I CAN!!!Hope it works.
About the guy you wish to marry, I wanna suggest you to offer Istikharah first sist. We can only see what is apparent while there is something hidden in heart which only Allah who is able to see. So, in this case, you should ask for His direction. Don't be afraid of your father, there is nothing impossible dear, if indeed He is your fate then no one can stop it and Allah will In Shaa Allah light your way to approach your father. So, what I emphasize here is come to Allah first.
Don't ever hesitate about the love of your parents dear, they've been raising you since when you were still a baby till now you attain the age of 18. They love you more than you think dear but you'd turned them down by committing zina. Thy are disappointed at you but they still love you for sure. It is time to prove them that you strongly wanna change, whisper to your heart that you are a Muslimah not only for name sake but act as how Muslimah should be. We have many great figures in Islam. Read the stories about Muslimah in Rosul's (pbuh) period, Aisha, Fatimah, Khadija, and a long list of inspiring women in Islam. You can sist. In Shaa Allah. May Allah bless you. Remember me in your prayer.
Dear sister..
i really appreciated that u took tym to reply :).
really JAZAKALLAHKHAIR...and yess INSHALLAH i am trying to change mylife and first myself..let see where will this go 🙂
thank u soo much 🙂
and yess i will remember evryone in my prayers for sure:)
Asalaamualaikum,
You first need to know what deviates us from Islam and what lets satan control our hearts is LACK of knowledge. In order to be a good muslimah, you MUST learn and know things.
If a person doesn't have anything to do and he/she is just wasting their time, it is easy for satan to lead that person's heart and indulge him/her in sins.
If you utilize your time learning deen, then your mind will not think about anything else except for what you are learning. It is true that we get evil thoughts only when we are wasting our time.
Ask yourself why do you not get evil thoughts when you are writing your exams or while doing something important? the reason is you full concentration is on that object. Similarly if you make learning deen as your first priority and concentrate on it like you concentrate while writing your exams, In Shaa Allah satan will never be able to overpower you.
We study hard so that we score good marks and get a good job and success, however it will not last forever. But we do not learn deen and fail in Allah's test.
Start remembering Allah's 99 names with meanings, each name has a great meaning and taking each name will benefit you in something good.
Read Quran with translation, so you understand what Allah says. Read hadiths so you know what our beloved prophet have said concerning matters.
If you have knowledge, you will not do anything that which is haraam. Just know that Hell is surrounded by lusts and worldly desires and HEAVEN is surrounded by hardships. Ask yourself, what you want? temporary bliss or eternal bliss?.
I would suggest you to download fortress of muslims, it's a PDF file and it contains many great dua's which you can read. There are so many dua's you can read and In Shaa Allah satan will not be able to lead you.
Learn deen do not let yourself sit free, as it may give Satan an opportunity to lead you astray.
Forget all that happened in past. Read Sha'hada and imagine as if you are entering Islam right after you read Sha'hada and promise Allah that by HIS help, you will try your best to stay away from haraam things.
Indeed, Allah is with those who are patient and repent sincerely. If Allah is with you, you can never be misguided. Make Allah your ally and you will peace.
May Allah bless you.
Wasalaamualaikum.
Salam Shooki, its Maha here... Iam 17 years old and iam about to turn 18 in January.... I Read your whole story or may i say the worst of your life... but sister believe me i had the same problem except tht I did Zinnah and I din't even had any physical attempts. I did had a relation ship when I was 15 bt then it ended when i turned into 17.... bt in my relation ship I wasn't physical or neither I committd Zina bt I cheated on him for this other guy who distracted me as my first bf got into fight with his family for me because they all use to hate me and abuse me so due to that he stopped giving me his attention but he was my cousin and he was truly a nice guy and he loved me from his heart as he didn't even touched me even in these 3 years and din't even asked me for such hideous favours but because of his family daily fights on me and they all forcing him to leave me made him under a lot of stress but he still loved me and wasn't ever ready to leave me but due to these fights he became tensed and stopped giving me his time due to that for a little while he became stressful so i got distracted by another guy 🙁 who was a total jerk and i realized my mistake when i lost my first bf completely ;( My parents got to know the truth about me because i failed in my final exams, I repeated my 1st Year twice and I started smoking and I hid it from my parents and I was getting far from God day by day ... but Suddenly The thing that i changed in my life was i started reading Quran a little but I use to recite it everyday then i started offering prayer 5 times each day and Alhamdulil'lah I offer it today and will offer it till my last breath too... all these good deeds brought a huge change in me.. I respect and love my family now... and I Have again maintain my reputation in front of them . Iam closer to God MashAllah 🙂 but still the worst in me is that i still do masturbating a lot.... i do it each day almost and this is the only thing i can't control and its because i can't control my desperation .. I think i will keep doing it because The only light from which i use to share this nasty habit is my God... and may be he will listen to me for this habit some day InshAllah but till then i will keep doing it because i know that it will stop when Iam Married , that desperation will soon be gone after Marriage because you will finally get that thing which we get fictionally due to Masturbating. So I keep apologizing God for this and after Marriage i will do Tauba and Astaghfar for it. Iam sure God 4gives his people who apologize from heart so Sookhi don't be guilty , this is natural... I know you can't help it and neither cn I and other girls so just wait till Marriage 🙂 when u will get it with the legal and natural way and with a total right guy 🙂 then after ur marriage do ask for 4giveness from Allah from the depth of your heart... and stop engaging urself in these guys.... becauxe only one in a Million will be the right and correct for you after marriage.... leave ur male friends even if they love you.. because being single is the best.. invlove yourself In God... family and other good and playful and good activities other than boys 🙂 being single will finish your half problems and the other half will be finish from your own good deeds,,,, just remember God , My dear 🙂
I hope this helps do reply me Shooki 🙂
Asalam-o-Aliakom shooki,
Sahih International: Those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, only [committing] slight ones. Indeed, your Lord is vast in forgiveness. He was most knowing of you when He produced you from the earth and when you were fetuses in the wombs of your mothers. So do not claim yourselves to be pure; He is most knowing of who fears Him.
Pickthall: Those who avoid enormities of sin and abominations, save the unwilled offences - (for them) lo! thy Lord is of vast mercy. He is Best Aware of you (from the time) when He created you from the earth, and when ye were hidden in the bellies of your mothers. Therefor ascribe not purity unto yourselves. He is Best Aware of him who wardeth off (evil).
Yusuf Ali: Those who avoid great sins and shameful deeds, only (falling into) small faults,- verily thy Lord is ample in forgiveness. He knows you well when He brings you out of the earth, And when ye are hidden in your mothers' wombs. Therefore justify not yourselves: He knows best who it is that guards against evil.
Shakir: Those who keep aloof from the great sins and the indecencies but the passing idea; surely your Lord is liberal in forgiving. He knows you best when He brings you forth from the earth and when you are embryos in the wombs of your mothers; therefore do not attribute purity to your souls; He knows him best who guards (against evil).
Muhammad Sarwar: Those who stay away from grave sins and indecency (should know that) for their trivial sins your Lord's forgiveness is vast. He knows best about you. When He created you from the earth and when you were embryos in your mother's wombs. Do not consider yourselves very great. God knows best who is the most righteous person.
Mohsin Khan: Those who avoid great sins (see the Quran, Verses: 6:152,153) and Al-Fawahish (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.) except the small faults, verily, your Lord is of vast forgiveness. He knows you well when He created you from the earth (Adam), and when you were fetuses in your mothers' wombs. So ascribe not purity to yourselves. He knows best him who fears Allah and keep his duty to Him [i.e. those who are Al-Muttaqun (pious - see V.2:2)].
Arberry: Those who avoid the heinous sins and indecencies, save lesser offences surely thy Lord is wide in His forgiveness. Very well He knows you, when He produced you from the earth, and when you were yet unborn in your mothers' wombs; therefore hold not yourselves purified; God knows very well him who is godfearing.
drear shrooki,
see this website http://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=53&verse=32 and i must say that ALLAH says if the person apologize his mistake and don't do again i will forgive him. and i again must that ALLAH loves us a lot and he must forgive us a lot of time.
For Example,
once a man do zina and once a day a lady sits into his room and weeping when the man came into the room he says that i gave you the money for this then why are you weeping the lady says my majboori came me here to do this then the man say sorry to ALLAH and say the girl, now you are my sister then on the spot he will die and ALLAH SWT forgive him and the front door of the man who do zina writes ALLAH forgive him. Because all the society knows he do zina.
sorry for my bad english.
Dear ... What you have written is not your fault you are deprived of family love a true family love where parents are always their to guide you the way your best friend does so my advice is you must never leave him he us the sign of Allah's blessings upon you that Allah has given you a waseela to alter your weakness and being weak is not a sin cause human is weak and always depend on Allah gir strength keep regretting and one you will gradually become strong but just don't force yourself into big change first of all try to find happiness in helpling others and poor n needy for Allah's sake as don't just focus on prayers just start with any good deed just perform sajda as many time as tiu feel like just pray n your heart but with happiness not sadness with hope and not weakness and try to stop pushing yourself as shaitan uses your sorrows to weakness u ... You only need good guidance dear you must marry that guy take a chance if you are really sure that he guides you towards Allah's path then use his energy to strengthen your path and let him send his family for proposal and try to convince your family too cause we never know what us in future so atleast try for good purpose if Allah's will is in this proposal then you will surprised to have him as husband just leave everything every single worry to Allah and wait just dont stress anymore cause only Allah gives strength ans test unill in heart you repent and dislike your weakness so cheer up girl you are blessed no matter how weak you are never lose happiness but keep your head straight neeyat saaf rakho buss OK take care