Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Broken down by relationship ending

Heartbroken, broken heart


As-salamo-alykum. (Please reply soon as it is urgent). I had a friend. We were in touch past 4yrs. We liked each other and we promised to marry. Recently he got a good job and we were very happy. After few days we had a fight (like we used to had) but all of a sudden he refused to talk to me and told me I wasted his 4yrs of life. I am very much attach to him. He even refused to marry me. I tried convincing him but every time he just end up with more harshfull words. I have left everything on ALLAH but things are breaking me down. I have my exams and this is my peak time of career too. I don't want to disappoint my parents. All these things are breaking my confidence and strength. I just keep on crying. Past memories just keep crossing my mind 24*7. I can not believe he can do this to me. I also think that I cannot trust anyone now and cannot adjust with someone else in future. Each and every thing reminds me of him. I feel stuck in this situation and I want to come out of it. I want to stop thinking about him, my past and everything. I feel whatever I will do and whatever I am doing my past is following me and will keep following me. I will get mad.


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6 Responses »

  1. Wa alaykum assalam,
    there is a reason why boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are haraam in islam. Most of the time it ends in heartache Or worse. You don't need to "convince" anyone to marry you!! Please have some self respect. would advice you to forget about him and move on, he used you and i doubt he ever intended to marry you in the first place. Try to concentrate on your studies, make dua to Allah remove this guy from your life and heart completely. Don't worry about the future, just make sure you don't have a relationship with a man before marriage. Find someone who is pious and has good character and good morals.

    • I don't know how to move on. How people find it so casual to say move on. I have invested lots of emotions.I never intended to do bad for anyone then why all this is happening to me at such point of time. I starterd praying properly,reading quran regularly and try my best to be good by heart. It's been 4 months then too things are still tough for me. He is all enjoying his life.

      • He was only looking for an excuse to get rid of you. He most probably now likes someone else or is under family pressure. Either way, consider yourself lucky that you saw his true colours before marriage or it would've been so much more painful.

        Allah knows best.


      • OP: He is all enjoying his life.

        I don't think there is much you can do. He just used you for what ever you were willing to do. What happend to you happens to many girls.

  2. Haraam relationships are forbidden in Islam. This is why its happen to you is because Allah shown you a mans true colours. Learn from this become a better person for yourself no need to cry or breakdown for a man. Never ever let a man use you before marriage. Get your family to look for a man for you and never be alone with a guy either.

    I know your like how can you say this but the reality is people use each other and when this happens some men/women are never interested in marriage. Your parents dont deserve this either have respect for yourself may Allah guide you. I know this hurts but within time you will get over him.

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    Losing someone you love hurts. But there isn't always anything we can do to make that hurt go away; with time, the hurt eases and we can look to the future again. Moving on isn't easy, but it is a necessary part of life. We all have to find ways to live after loss.

    In this case, say Alhamdulillah that you learned this about him before marriage, and that you are now able to turn more to Allah and Islam. When you are ready to consider marriage in the future, you will inshaAllah be able to use this experience to help you find a pious and kind man. Even though it hurts now, there will be a reason for this experience, a reason why you and this guy were not meant to be.

    We don't always know why something happens at the time, but we can trust in Allah that it is what is best for us in this life and the next. I'll share a personal example: before I came to Islam, I applied for a job that seemed like everything I could possibly want, career-wise... I didn't get it, and ended up having to take a job which seemed less promising - but that job led to me learning about Islam and becoming Muslim, as well as some amazing experiences and opportunities that I wouldn't have encountered had I got that "dream job". Sometimes what seems like the worst possible thing to happen can be one of the best, when we look back on it.

    Remember to repent for any transgressions that occurred between you and this guy, and use this opportunity to learn more about Islam and to strengthen your faith. Trust Allah - His plan will be best.

    Midnightmoon editor

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