My fiance wants to drink occasionally; should I still marry him?
"He drinks alcohol..."
Assalam O Alaikum,
My fiance` is new to Islam, he recently told me that his grandfather has a wine field that produces wine. He enjoyed the wine with his family before he became a Muslim. He told me, once he reunites with his family again that he continue this ritual and will drink with them. He says, it will be offensive and rude if he refuses the wine. I personally think that he still enjoy the taste as it is something that he grew up with, and really has nothing to do with his parents. I told him, that I wasn’t happy with this and that it was un- Islamic. Am I allowed to marry him if he refuses to stop drinking occasionally with his family? In hope that he will understand the deen well enough, to know Allah is the only one to be feared.
Thanks,
Delema.
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Salaam Delema,
This is a difficult one. As your fiancee is new to Islam, it is not always easy to give up old ways. However, I would advise you not to marry him until his deen is stronger and until he decides he won't drink. Give yourself a time period and try to encourage him to get closer to his deen in his heart. Refer him to some kind knowledgable brothers who can help him. In the meantime of course avoid meeting him alone to prevent unislamic activity. If he changes then by all means marry him, don't be harsh towards him but let him know that Muslims can't drink and if he does kindly explain to his family then they should understand InshaAllah.
Please comment readers/editors if you have further more comprehensive advice for the sister,
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I agree with Sara. You should not marry this man as long as he retains this attachment to un-Islamic ways. This indicates that Islam has not really penetrated his heart, and that he is not sincere in his obedience to Allah. Either give him time to change, or simply break off your engagement to him.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Asalaam alaikum,
Assure him that this will not be the only test on his list on his way to the Right Path. I would also encourage you to express to him that as long as he drinks alcohol, you will see him as a man that has given into worldly pleasures instead of satisfying the best pleasure of seeking Allah's rewards (swt).
The are also many natural fruit drinks that he could use as a substitute to wean himself off the alcoholic urge. Many are made from grapes, but contain no alcohol, so his excuse is not entirely fitting.
For every revert there will come challenges, but assure your potential husband that if he pleases Allah (swt) first, then he will also please you immensely. That you will find his obedience as a virtue, noble and brave of his character. Become his partner in overcoming this trial, because essentially, this is what marriage is about: two people overcoming life's obstacles.